Handsome 22-year-old University of Massachusetts basketball player Derrick Gordon made headlines recently when he revealed that he was the first openly gay active Division I NCAA player.
Buzz in our comments section quickly shifted from congratulatory shouts to speculation on when it would be revealed that he had a Caucasian boyfriend.
Turns out, Derrick was (predictably) invited to the recent 2014 GLAAD Media Awards and he teased who his date would be on his Instagram account.
Out of all the types of men I would have imagined Derrick would be dating, the man he posed on the Red Carpet with was the last type I would have come up with…but I’m actually not really surprised.
So as you can see, 22 year-old Derrick Gordon is dating 47 year-old actor Gerald McCollough (CSI: Las Vegas, Hustling web series). For those of you not familiar with the actor, here are a clips from the web series BearCity:
I have three points to touch on: My lack of surprise, the Age difference and the interracial component.
LACK OF SURPRISE
Once I saw the ESPN interview where Derrick Gordon said he really looking forward to seeing Gay Rainbow Flags waved at his games, I knew that he was seriously into white openly gay men. Just being honest, most black gay men don’t identify with the white gay scene, which includes GLAAD and the typical gay pride imagery.
We love being gay and we love all gay people, but many of us don’t feel that the rainbow flag reps us…Derrick Gordon, on the other hand:
This is not meant as an insult against white gay men or even Derrick Gordon and his boyfriend. It’s just a reality that I’ve observed in my 30+ years of life.
There were other signs as well.
The mere fact that Gordon came out in the first place let me know that he was likely close friends with or dating openly gay white men. Its more likely than not that if Gordon primarily had black gay friends or a black gay boyfriend, he would have either waited longer to come out or he would have not come out at all.
It’s not hard for me to believe that white gay activists helped to give him the courage to take the dive, especially if he were dating one….even more especially if he wanted to be able to be seen with his older white openly gay boyfriend in public without rumors and whispers.
Contrast Derrick Gordon with Frank Ocean, who wants no parts of the white gay establishment. I would be mind blown if it were revealed that the dude that FO fell in love with from the Tumblr Letter was a old gay white man….I’d be mind blown if FO even was seen with a Rainbow Flag or at a Gay Pride event.
THE AGE DIFFERENCE
I’ve pretty much only dated men younger than me my entire life. I don’t know how to date an older man, so this is a tricky area for me. When I’ve dated younger, I’ve pretty much kept it between 10-12 years younger tops. In this case, Derrick Gordon is 25 years younger than Gerald McCullough.
Love is Love, right?
Okay, real talk, that is extreme. I couldn’t imagine dating a mature 18 year old. That would be 19 years my junior. Hell, I couldn’t even imagine dating a mature 24 year old….for anything other than sex.
That brings me to why I’m okay with this pairing.
The sex is probably great for both of them.
And Derrick Gordon is likely learning a lot from Gerald McCullough, not only sexually but also about romance, finances, career, etc. I don’t look at this couple and see a long term relationship. I see it as one where the two of them are having a good time and enjoying each other’s company.
Which is totally fine.
THE INTERRACIAL COMPONENT
While we believe that “love is love”, we’ve touched on the issue of Black Gay Men and Interracial Relationships before. I have no problem with interracial gay relationships, especially in the media.
If you cringe or even raise an eyebrow when you see interracial gay couples, this is a reaction to your own insecurities.
You might as well be a racist saying, “Stick with your own kind!”
Who cares.
In the above photos, the men look happy. That’s all that matters.
It’s not their responsibility to ONLY date within their race just to be an example for you! Be your own inspiration!
I see the above photo and say, if old ass Gerald McCullough can pull a young, attractive, tattooed, masculine, black gay (current or former) athlete then there’s no stopping me!
Go buy yourself some self esteem.
You could say, “But Nick, why are all the black gay celebs dating white men? What’s wrong with black gay love?”
There’s nothing wrong with it. Those black gay couples do exist, most people are just choosing to ignore them.
This goes back to the beef I had with gay fans of Frank Ocean. Why were they focusing so much time on him when there were black openly gay entertainers and athletes who actually wanted to be representatives but were being ignored?
Also, remember that black gay athletes and entertainers coming out publicly is still a fairly new and rare thing.
Under Cypher Avenue (and Discreet City) we’ve only had 3 or 4 major coming outs in the nearly three years that we’ve been blogging and reporting the gay news.
So the handful of black gay men who have been rocketed to the forefront have a thing for white men…who cares!
There are tons of other black gay couple examples out there. From web series to TV Shows to Feature Films to Black Gaylebrities, we’ve highlighted TONS of examples of what black gay love is and could be…
Have we ALREADY forgotten about Kordell and Kaleb?!
If you need more examples than that, you’re pathetic…and likely a Caucasian hating racist. Real talk.
IN CONCLUSION
So that’s my take on it all. We’re the leading, most visited gay website for opinions from black gay men on gay issues. So for all those who were expecting us to be disappointed in Derrick Gordon’s dating choices or that the few prominent black gay men in the media have had Caucasian boyfriends, you’ve come to the wrong place.
Admittedly though, If I were a 19-24 year old black gay man attending the University of Massachusetts, I might be a little disappointed that Derrick Gordon’s “type” is far from what I am or look like…But I’d quickly just turn my romantic interests elsewhere and still applaud the young boy for living his life to the fullest with no regrets.
What are your thoughts and opinions? (NOTE: Please refrain from using offensive racist or ageist terms in your comments (ie: Snow Queen), I will delete the shits in a heartbeat, no matter how long and articulate they are. This is not that type of website.)
*rolls eyes* what an incredibly dismissive post. There are plenty of people such as myself who have an issue with interracial dating and none of it has anything to do with being insecure about anything. The issue is that, as you said, we have A HANDFUL of visible black gay men out there. THEY ARE ALL WITH WHITE MEN! Each time one comes out, it’s sad that you can say they are probably dating a white man…and be correct. This does not happen at the same rate in reverse. It’s the same with straights. How many white men you see bringing their black dates to the Oscars? But all 3 black men behind 12 years a slave trotted their white wives out. C’mon son.
I’m the one being dismissive while you’re purposely dismissing all of the black celebs who DO have black husbands and wives. The gay princess Kerry Washington has a BLACK HUSBAND! The gay Queen Beyonce has a BLACK HUSBAND! I could list all of the black gay celebs that have been are currently are in black relationships but it seems like many gay men are only concerned about the handful of recent out black gays who are NOT in black relationships.
Firstly, you used a bunch of women as examples when black women are the least likely to date outside of their race. I’m talking about black men. By and large black men(and asian women) are more likely to date outside of their race(I learned this at a seminar on interracial dating). I do not know why this is, but it just is. And as you have said…we have a handful of black gay recognizable people…you’ll be hard pressed to find one with a black man.
No offense but the fact that you’re attending seminars on interracial dating shows either an obsession or insecurity with it…Secondly, the black men in those relationships are still black men, whether or not I mentioned their wives first. Jay Z has a BLACK WIFE! Will Smith has a BLACK WIFE! Don Cheadle has a BLACK WIFE! Denzel has a BLACK WIFE! The list goes on!
As for gay men, we only have a handful of black gay mega celebs, most of them have dated outside of their race. But we have DOZENS more B and C list black gay celebs that date BLACK MEN! You choose to ignore them and instead get bothered by the 4 or 5 examples of interracial dating that you see.
“No offense but the fact that you’re attending seminars on interracial dating shows either an obsession or insecurity with it.”…or it shows I was a student on a campus and had to meet a seminar quota.
And I still don’t see how someone pointing out a pattern they find concerning to be insecure.
I live in Toronto, I love black men and men of color in general, but the problem for me is that where I live non of the gay/bi men of color want to come out of the closet!
They’ll fuck you but they won’t be in a relationship with you, they’re too scared to be who they are. And who does that leave for me….The White boys and the half white boys who I have come to appreciate. Masculine gay and bi white men are just more Comfortable in their own skin by far. So there you have I can see my self probably even marrying a white or half white guy just because they are more available to me.
Lol, masculinity not withstanding, you can throw some vicious shade when you want to. Lol.
I really enjoy the site and normally don’t respond but, I have to respond to this. People often comment about how “insecure” gay black men are in their own skin in comparison to their white counterparts but, really that is a completely unfair comparison. You’re actually comparing one of the MOST discriminated groups of people in the world with one of the least. White men have not spent their entire lives having to listen to people call them “thugs”. White men don’t have to witness women clutch their purses in fear if they get to close. White men don’t have to deal with their accomplishments being diminished through accusations of “affirmative action” and “quotas”.
So, are gay white men more secure in their own skin than black men? HELL YES! And the reason why is because THEIR skin hasn’t caused them to be discriminated against their whole damn lives.
The truth is it’s a helluva lot easier carrying one cross than it is carrying two…
Thanks for visiting the site and you make an excellent point; nonetheless should one limit their dating options and possible happiness because of this?
I understand where you’re coming from Trey,
But so what. I don’t like that mentality because we are only oppressing our selves. There is no excuse for Black people in this day and age to carry on complaining about problems that are behind us.
Racists like Donald Sterling get their asses kicked. We have access to jobs and education as long as you as you can speak proper English and as long as you don’t dress like an idiot with your pants below your ass or your skirt too high.
You get it? Our success is up to us.
“Our success is up to us.”
On a micro (individual) level, sure…on a macro (societal) level, I dont think its that simple…
And racists like Donald Sterling rarely get their “ass kicked” until their covert ways of acting on their feelings suddenly (and shockingly to those who are naive enough to believe that racism is dead) become public..
Achris your right on an individual level we all have the opportunity to make it in the world.
On a societal level? Well that’s a work in progress, a very slow progress, but we are on the right track and to me at least, that’s what counts.
And that’s my two cents.
Kyle, the problems are not “behind us” as you claim. And I think you’re missing my point. You’re comparing the experiences of white gay men to those of black gay men and that will never be a fair comparison. The truth is our white counterparts are for the most part judged as individuals but, we as black men are judged as a group.
When a person has a poor dating experience with a black man it’s not uncommon to hear them say “I’m done with brothers” or “Black guys are trifling” or “Black men just want sex”. On the other hand when a white man does the same thing the comments are “I’m deleting HIS number” or “I won’t be speaking to HIM again.”
You speak about oppression but, your blanketed statements towards black men is a form of “oppressing ourselves” as you put it.
“You speak about oppression but, your blanketed statements towards black men is a form of “oppressing ourselves” as you put it”
I don’t see how I’m oppressing black men, when my words only intend to uplift us. But I guess we are all entitled to our own point of view.
I’m 23 so I’m coming from the perspective of a millennial (generation Y)
My first five relationships were with white men and my last two were with black men one was mixed, AND I’M DARK-SKINNED
Trey, someone might say that they don’t date black guys until they meet you and you brighten up their world. Don’t let other’s preferences upset you. I’m sure you have your own preferences.
Well, I think you may have read too deeply into Gordon simply having McCollough as his date to the GLAD event. I doubt they are boy friends, or have a sexual relationship. Its likely that McCollough reach out to Gordon, who is rather young and is posing as mentor figure, and honesty that is nice of McCollough.
True…I could be wrong….Or you could be wrong…It’s conjecture on both of our parts…Either way my feelings remain the same in the issue.
They were photographed kissing so I think it seems to be more than just a close friendship.
What an awkward kiss though….I’ve never kissed anyone straight on where our noses were scrunched up like that, lol.
Could have been b/c they were posing for the cameras. Everything’s a little awkward when you have a camera pointed at you.
And furthermore, I find it problematic that you would assume that because he announced he wanted to have rainbow flags and be out etc that he was into white men. While in this instance it was true, I know plenty of gay black men that proudly wave their rainbow flags and love them some blcak men.
Just keeping it real, there’s certain terminology and imagery that white gay men use that is stereotypically gay. The Rainbow Flag is just one of many things Derrick Gordon said that gave me this feeling. Same applies to using words like “problematic”, I mostly only see women and feminists use that word online. So if I saw a black man use it, I would deduce that he was an opinionated gay activists of some sort.
*fighting back laughter*
LOL I knew that you of all people would get the humor in that having seen our online battles over the last year, lol
I just don’t like it. I look at couples like this, and I just see perpetuation of stereotypes. Now, I’m all about loving who you want, which is why you’ll never see me protesting any other adult’s choices, but I give them the side eye all day.
Side Note: Derrick Gordon has the shortest tongue I’ve ever seen yet he keeps sticking it out there like he’s Jordan, lol
Happy for Gordon. I really do not have any issues with him dating a white older gentleman.
I too am not surprised about the interracial aspect of whatever this is but I’m a little surprised about the age difference. The older guy is fairly handsome for a man of his age. Nick, I was wondering if you would review the Hustling series. I watched the entire thing and I noticed a few things that black gay web series seem to lack, namely views. If you have seen one or two episodes, what do you think? Has anyone else seen Hustling?
I think the issue for me is that this is the only image that is shown in the media. Almost every major black man that has come out as gay is in a relationship with (or rumored to date) a white (or non-black) guy (Don Lemon, Frank Ocean, Wade Davis, LZ Granderson, Michael Sam, etc…). Of course in our personal lives most of us know blk/blk relationships, but unfortunately this is not what most of America sees. Its kind of like the flamboyant black queen. Yes, most of us know that many blk gay men are not over the top and flamboyant like the guys on housewives, BUT this is the main image that is shown in media. To those blk gay guys who may not know anything about healthy relationships, let alone gay ones, I think it could possibly send a dangerous message (i.e. gay black men don’t work in successful relationships, look at all the black men I know that are gay). And to be honest, it would frankly just be nice to see an open gay black male (who has received the amount of national spotlight and attention as this guy, Sam, Collins, etc) with another open gay black male, but w/e, my dude is black so its all good lol.
Hmmm judging by these pictures it really does appear that they are more than just friends so I wouldn’t be surprised if it came out that they are dating. I don’t have an issue with him dating outside his race. What makes me a little frustrated is how these images will add to the illusion that so many black gay men date outside their race. Because these men are in the spotlight it becomes easy for others to be convinced of this. My thing is just like what Nick mentioned why are we so set on seeing examples of black gay love in the media? I can look around in my circle of friends gay and straight and find plenty of same race relationships.
For me personally dating someone that is more than 10-20 years my age just isn’t my thing. However, I understand that Derrick has his own dating preferences and if that’s what he likes so be it. He should be entitled to do whatever makes him happy and live his life as he chooses. At the end of the day I’m just glad that he can be looked at as an example of someone who goes against the stereotype of being gay. What I also love about his coming out is how young he is. Hopefully his story will inspire others at his age to embrace their sexuality and be confident in who they are.
I have not posted in a while but I had to say something. No problems with dating outside one’s race, but damn, damn, damn!!!!
Good luck to the both of ’em. I’m sure most gay guys understand we don’t control who we’re attracted to and fall in love with. According to the below article, they started corresponding four years ago and met in person for the first time last month.I am curious how his family feels about the relationship since he just recently came out to them.
http://www.eonline.com/news/538828/umass-basketball-player-derrick-gordon-22-dating-47-year-old-csi-actor-gerald-mccullouch
I’m just like….. EWWWWWW….. There are other young black men like my age that would love to be beside him lol. Why this old ass white man???? Even if he was an older black man… I’d still be trippin.
It sounds like you are an ageist. So all I can say to you is, keep living. I assure you your views will change.
Hey Nick–Sometimes the placement of a “comma” changes everything!
YOU SAID, “When I’ve dated younger, I’ve pretty much kept it between 10-12 years younger tops.”
DID YOU MEAN, “When I’ve dated younger, I’ve pretty much kept it between 10-12 years younger, tops.”
I had to read it a couple of times to make sure I was reading it correctly. I mean, it’s strictly your business, but there is a difference, Bruh!
LLS!
i knew this post was coming . lol
I figured this article would pop up on this site and after strolling through the comments section I don’t really understand the controversy. Its 2014 for God’s sake. Secondly, I don’t understand the controversy surrounding interracial relations or the systemic obsession with celebrity culture, NEWSFLASH, the vast majority of people in this world would not be considered a celebrity yet, so much focus is placed on what/who out black “celebrities” choose to date or marry. Finally and this is my humble opinion, I believe if black gay men or “men who sleep with men” want greater representation in the media, its imperative that they come out of the closets or shadows and live openly. Also, I get discouraged to see so much division of white gay culture and black gay culture and clear unwillingness to see that we are more interdependent then otherwise.
Right! Some gays dependence on black gay celebs to “represent” black gay love is troubling. Even in this article I mentioned that there are MANY examples all throughout this website of black gay love, yet dudes STILL obsess over 5 or 6 celebs who found love from non-black men…NEWSFLASH: The interracial couple celebs are not the reason they are single!
But if we want to come from that point of view is it not troubling that some black gays are upset when more feminine black gay men are said to “represent” the black gay community. Isn’t that what we hear on the site all the time. Some could easily say “NEWSFLASH, the fem queens aren’t the reason some black gays can’t remove themselves from the closet and more masc gay men aren’t seen on tv.” I am failing to understand why trends that are CLEAR (more fem gay men being prominent in media and many out black famous men with white boyfriends) can’t be called out in similar ways without ppl being fem hating and patriarchal or racist, bitter and single in each respective case #justsaying. Sidenote, I didn’t know being in a relationship and having an opinion on what may be seen as a trend were mutually exclusive…:shrugs:
You do make some valid points…it can be noted that most (not all) of the black gay men in the forefront of the media have been seen with non-black dates/lovers. I freely admit that.
My problem is with the men who view this as a negative…as if the handful of men in the spotlight dating white/latino men lowers their own value as black gay men. I don’t need these men to be examples for my own relationship (or lack thereof). I’m just happy that masculine black gay men are getting attention at all.
Which brings me to your other point about feminine men. The HUGE difference with that comparison is unlike many men commenting here, we acknowledge that there are MANY examples of gay masculinity in the media, but it gets overshadowed by the fems which creates a stereotype for all gays. There is no stereotype created by black gay men dating white gays. Derrick Gordon’s relationship doesn’t make people think that Nick Delmacy must have a white boyfriend too…or that my desire for a black man is “faking.” This is the case with femininity. Just today a fem on Twitter said we are obsessed with “fake masculinity.” As if masculinity in gay men is nonexistent.
I can list countless celeb/film/media examples of black gay love/relationships…photos, videos and all…and people will STILL narrow in on the handful of guys they’ve seen dating white men.
I don’t see any problem with his personal relationship (do you man bc I definitely do me). I do think it is INTERESTING that the majority of out, famous (or those that have achieved national recognition) gay black men end up dating white dudes just like I think it is INTERESTING that the majority of rappers glorify the redbone in their songs and music videos. Do I have a problem necessarily with rappers or hell guys liking redbones, no, hell I’m light skinned myself. BUT as interesting as I think it is, I DON’T think its COINCIDENTAL, I will digress on that though. To your other points, I see what you are saying. I do, however, think that this “trend” adds to the (false) stereotype that, once I as a blk man gain some type of something (money, fame, status), I go out and get me a white man. #justsaying
@achris Wow dude, some powerful stuff right here. I agree with everything you said. All of this is VERY interesting that even in 2014 we still prefer the light skin over the dark, even without thinking about it. Hell, look at our first black president. Even he had to be “mixed”…an all the way black president just wasn’t gonna cut it.
Derrick confirmed on Twitter that Gerald is his BF.He also tweeted that his older brother is about to start working out with him to get ready for next season.
I give this relationship a side eye mainly because Gerald is promoting his film, Daddy, about a older man dating a much younger man.COINCIDENCE?
A “Caucasian hating racist”? Lol, blacks can’t be racist. One can hate whoever they want, racism requires power, which the vast majority of black people do not have. White men fetishize black men a lot, which I find highly offensive…but to each is own. Pointing out that many black men homo and hetero seek out white partners when they get social status is not an insecurity. Just an observation.
I just finished reading all the comments on Derrick Gordon at the Glaad Awards. Three of the 4 men I dated, since coming out, where Black Men. All 4 men were younger than myself. The youngest was 15 yrs younger…..the closest was 8 yrs younger. Two of my 4 ex’s had never dated a white man before. During the time I was dating these men I was living in N.Fla. and Ga. I had discussions with all 4 on inter-racial relationships. They all seemed surprised I didn’t have hang-up’s that many white guys have. But, I was not born and raised in the South. I was born and raised in Detroit. What always disappoints me is how many Whites/Blacks/Hispanics are adamant about NEVER dating outside their race. Should it matter? Maybe this thing between Derrick Gordon and Gerald McCollough will be short-lived. Does it matter? All that matters is that he came out, and is happy with who he is. Fuck what anybody thinks. It’s his life to live.
What does being from the South have to do with anything? I am from Indianapolis, and I don’t want to date outside my race. My experience with men of other races is that most like to fetishize black gay men, already have less than flattering stereotypes, and to me, that is highly offensive. I have nothing against those of other races, I am just most attracted to those I can relate to. You shouldn’t be “disappointed” that people have a preference.
Johnny Boykins took the words right out of my mouth.
“I believe if black gay men or “men who sleep with men” want greater representation in the media, its imperative that they come out of the closets or shadows and live openly.”
I noticed when I came out to family and close friends, quite a few of my black, GAY friends distanced themselves from me. I found out that to be black, masculine, and openly gay, can sometimes be lonely.
Derrick Gordon represents me by being an out man of color who is not a stereotype. I couldn’t care less who he loves. I’m focused on my own relationship. I do not need to see him or any other athlete attached to another black man to know that black gay love exists. I see it daily.
Most of us cannot even comment on the Cypher Ave Facebook page for fear of family viewing what we said. We don’t have photos on our avatars, so we can talk about gay related issues without outing ourselves. How can we ask for representation of our love, when we don’t want to be visible anywhere? Kudos to Derrick and anyone who finds a connection with that special someone. We have bigger fish to fry than worrying about someone being God forbid, HAPPY.
Add to that list that most of the men who disapprove, think this relationship is gross or counting everytime they see a black gay celeb with a non-black man are SINGLE! These are men who are rarely in relationships whining about wanting to see more black relationships. How about they work on their own lives and love, lol
“Most of us cannot even comment on the Cypher Ave Facebook page for fear of family viewing what we said.”
This here…
I guess being masculine and unclockable has it’s price. Just a thought.
Agreed. I can’t believe this post got THIS much discussion, honestly. Who gives a fuck who is dating who. I know for me personally (Nick, you touched on this above) I have my own (serious) issues to work out, so I have no time to be worried about someone whom I’ve never gonna meet or know on a personal level and whom they’re dating. LOL More power to them, I’m happy to see ANYONE able to find a partner in this day and age, no matter what ethnic coupling they may be. The age difference may not be MY thing, but it’s obviously theirs so, good for them. It’s like the article yous did on “No Fat, No Fems, No Mexicans***”, if someone doesn’t want YOU, move on to someone who does. If you don’t like whom someone else likes, move on to find what YOU like. Their personal life/business is not our business. The Media is always going to present what it feels the GREATER public wants to see, that’s never going to change. That’s why its The Media. The bigger representation of America is always going to be overall white-washed, the majority of gay representation is always going to be that of the Effeminate Comic Relief, and The Majority of Black/Ethnic relationships are always gonna have one white side. Welcome to the U.S.A. There’s obviously nothing wrong with voicing displeasure about it, but to spend ones’ time obsessing over it is futile.
Let’s face it Nick, there is a serious problem with the visible black males dating inter-racially (read: white). Like their heterosexual counterparts, most of these black gay men have damaged psyches that influence their dating “preferences.” To suggest otherwise is being disingenuous. Usually both parties are using each other as a lot of black men fetishize white men as well, which speaks to their own insecurities. I say this because most of the black gay men that date white men exclusively are usually dating down. The white men they date are typically nowhere near their levels as far as looks and overall attractiveness are concerned. It’s not uncommon to see black men rating 8/9/10 on the attractiveness scale dragging home white men rating 4/5/6. Anyone who has lived on west coast knows this to be true. Take a look at this exhibit under discussion in this thread, Derrick Gordon. You can’t look at this situation and not conclude that there is something very odd about this pairing. What attractive but a damaged 18 year old gay black athlete would be carrying McCullough on his arm like a trophy? Seriously?
Those of us who are enlightened enough to call it what it is are not the insecure ones Nick, we’re just speaking realistically. I’ll eat my words when we start to see a trend of attractive masculine black gay men dating equally attractive masculine gay white men. When you see Derrick Gordon openly dating an attractive 18 year old white college jock then I’ll…
So much I could say but I will keep it short…I will take masculinity and character over looks and age any day.
To all others…please stop ignoring the highly visible black gay couples out there and acting like we don’t exist. Your short sightedness comes off as bitter.
I’m sure that’s true for you Ocky, but my point still stands. Most of these gay black men you see in IR are coupled with gay white male rejects. Most of these white men fail the looks and/or masculinity test by most standards…so you can’t tell me these better looking gay black men are so strongly attracted to these average to below average white gay men, unless you are mainly attracted to their white skin (see: fetish, self-hate).
You almost never see the white equal to Derrick Gordon dating black. Know why? Because white men do not have the damaged psyches that most black men have. Dating black for them would be, in their eyes, dating down. Attractive gay white men date equally or more attractive gay white men. Period. To suggest otherwise is unrealistic. Unfortunately, many gay black men see dating white (any white) as dating up, or their other justification, they’re being “open.”
So what does that say about the black men that look like them? And most importantly, what does it say about them? Get real.
Blacks have been conditioned to be “open” and “inclusive” to the point that we reject the truth even when it’s in our collective faces. Truth is, we’re the only people preaching that mess. Most other races aren’t that inclusive.
Bottom line is, if you are a black man that habitually dates outside your race, then you are suffering from low self-esteem. Sorry bros.
I’m going to have to agree with you on many of your points . Some of them could be the case if a pattern is seen. On the other hand, speaking from experience, Derrick could just be pragmatic in his dating choices at this crucial time period in his life. Let’s be real,black gay men inherently are full of drama that he may not have time for , especially when he can be traded quite easily for the next black guy while involved with another black man.
I’d say he is innocent until proven guilty as far as the self esteem issue goes. Dating white and rich for the time being will broaden his horizons. Plenty of time time for this young man to “soul search” through black men. He will “come home” when he is ready. When he has had enough of being “objectified”.
For now at this time in his life I’d never recommend him navigate through the minefield that is dating black men. Let him mature more to be ready for that. And most of us know it is much to be READY for and survive intact and not overly jaded.
I disagree. I knew who Gerald Mccullough was b4 I knew who Derrick Gordon was. I saw Gerald Mccullough on a show a few years ago and thought to myself that’s a handsome older white guy. I can see how Derrick Gordon is attracted to him. Gerald is distinguished and handsome in a daddy sort of way. He is more than twice Derrick’s age tho. I wonder where his head is. Probably likes playing daddy and Derrick welcomes it because his dad is probably absent like most blacks. Na. I dunno lol
I’m sure Barack Obama’s parents had to deal with the same comments that I’ve been reading here.
I might me missing something here but I don’t think they are dating. Reading from the photos it seems more of a mentor/mentee relationship. I think the media has a way of reading too much into things.
that’s how I feel too! No one said they are going to the altar! They are DATING!!! Not married or in a long-term relationship. Next year’s GLAAD awards may find him next to another man lol
Its not on this site, but there is a photo of them kissing at the awards, so its definitely beyond a typically mentor relationship.
A lot of people want to say something about him dating this guy, but there are not many black gay men that are PROUDLY and OPENLY gay. Many of them are discreet and keep to themselves.
With the pictures we have seen of the basketball player, you can see that he is PROUDLY gay.
So I say he has met his equal. Someone that is proudly gay and happy to be who they are; out in the open.
Oh,
And just before anyone gets on my case about why I’ve been with 5 white men and only one black and one mixed man….
I did not go looking for color it just happened that way, like an act of God.
I’m sure this will give ammunition to homophobic twats like Rev James Manning and Dr. Umar Johnson and pan-africanists the world over who claim homosexuality is white plot to corrupt and feminize black men. Wow. He couldn’t have found a cute black guy his own age?
I say let the kid do what he wants. If it last then great, if not then Im sure both will move on.
Are you kidding me? This article is absurd. You dissect and critique the entire relationship of two men you’ve never even met just because they’re famous, of an interracial pairing you don’t particularly like, and have a large age gap? Get a life! No one cares whether you are “ok with” their relationship or not. It’s none of your business. Any kind of racial/age pairing can be manipulative and/or unhealthy. Or not! Love isn’t easy to come by for some of us. especially us queers. So leave people alone and let us love whoever the heck we want. I’m half-white, half-Chinese American. That says nothing about whether my relationships with black women were healthy relationships or came at the expense of dating “my own” “race.” I’ve never even dated another person who was half white or half Chinese/Asian American. Would be hard to come by! I’ve been in love with one, but that was (somewhat) unrequited and fizzled out quickly due to very long distance. And being into mainstream Gay Pride doesn’t mean anyone is “seriously into white guys.” WTF? I dated a black girl who was all about that stuff, and no she doesn’t have a white girl fetish either. She just happens to be a black girl who likes Pride. I’ve known white people who hate the very concept of Pride, and not because of some critique of white/class/etc. privilege – but probably because they grew up around homophobes who told them Pride is obnoxiously flamboyant! I am not super super into Pride, and I definitely dislike some things about it, and I don’t run around waving rainbow flags. But it’s fun because I can go and…
This is old news and he and Gerald only dated a few months. Derrick has moved on to an older citibank executive in West Hollywood and is happy