Best Posts in Forum: Group Discussions

Hi, I’m Kwezizuva

I’m a student, artist, barista and am trying to break into the world of YouTubing or podcasting. I found out about this site through the podcast. I’m interested in talking to different kinds of people and having new experiences through the site.

I love to sculpt, paint, draw and make music. It’s all more of hobby rn, but if it ever takes off, a professional career would be great. I’m originally from Zimbabwe/South Africa and I’m in school for pre-law and Communications.

So glad to be here

 

What's up my dudes,

Franky here, new to the site.
I'm a little bit country, a little bit rock n' roll. A little bit reggae and a little bit neo-soul.
Age: 35 years old
Height: 6' 0"
Occupation: Screenwriter

Interests: I love a good movie, especially horror. Bowling, Billiards, Shuffleboard (the bar version not the cruise ship version) Lol. I enjoy travelling to new and familiar places throughout the year. I also love Charter fishing on the lakes.

Drinks of choice: Whiskey neat, Merlot, Domestic beer, Mojito

Looking forward to chatting with you guys.

 

HI THERE!! I finally decided to step out of the shadows and introduce myself.
Born and raised in Mississippi.
I'm 25.
A graphic designer.
Socially awkward.

 

Get a room, guys.


It goes down in the DM. Lol

 

LOL have been a longtime lurker and reader of CA and slowing coming in the playground to join the other cool kids

Age: 25
location: Seattle
interests: Technology , Music (the new "new" RnB/Hip-Hop a la Kendrick, The Weeknd, Jhene Aiko,..) , movies, outdoors, entrepreneurship, and finding a man.
height: 5'11"
your concentration in school: Bachelor's in Computer Science, -In Progress- M.S in Engineering Management
your occupation: Software Engineer
the foods I like: Mostly everything . I keep an open mind when it comes to food and so far, it has worked very well.

 

I got my brother when I was 10. Now that I'm 20 honestly he's my first born. No offense to my mom she's my angel but she's single parent and I've only ever known her to work or be sick, so a lot was left on me. I don't know how she even raised me by herself. Albeit I was a morning-afternoon care then latch-key kid. But fuck I've had to cover house expenses for months at a time between financial aid and my job, and then figure out how to synchronize drop off pick up for my brother at the same time with my work and school schedule--that shits a bitch. Now my brother's almost in middle school and I'm trying to figure out how to help pay for his sports league fees and tutoring to get him ready for high school. It's a lot, even with 1.5 incomes in the house (mine is obviously the half). And I don't know how my mom managed all of those things for me as a kid. So it just makes me want to ensure he gets the same opportunities I did. Makes me want to wait until he's in college for me to take any more attention away from him. And definitely makes me apprehensive about raising a kid. So I already understand the logistical anxieties towards children and the worry if your partner might become overwhelmed or resentful. Yet I am a little relieved having a child is a choice per say for me and not a risk.

 

See this is the kinda stuff I HATE. Many people think being more comfortable with your gay sexuality means becoming more feminine. This is probably not what you meant in general @mojoreece but I see this ALL the time in gay communities in person and places online. Gay means fem, if you aren't embracing that you are ashamed or hiding.

When filmmakers show a kid that might be gay, they show him secretly wearing his Mother's clothes or jewelry. They don't show him playing ball with his friends and his eyes lingering a little longer on the other boys. No, that would be too subtle and it doesn't fit into the narrative of "being gay." But its a reality. Its MY reality. I'm totally comfortable with my homosexuality and my masculinity. Even though I don't broadcast being gay to the public, neither do a lot of straight people. I've had two big client jobs this year, working at their offices. Not once can I think of a time when the employees there flaunted their heterosexuality. Not saying that it doesn't happen, but when it doesn't I don't accuse them of "hiding" their sexuality or being ashamed of being straight.

 

This dude still at it? Brih he really needs to let this go.
ALL this energy needs to be Focused on making his artwork better.

When he said "they keep talking about me" .....Where at?

 

I honestly believe that this is where @African King would have ended up if Discreet City didn't exist to steer him to the right path... Instead he turned out okay...

 

Just today the project leader at my job treated the whole team out to lunch. All Black people. Very casual work atmosphere. The whole time they teased one of the women about being attracted to the (handsome) Black male server. Then they started discussing dating and who’s attractive in the media, etc. If I had/have the “I’m Gay” conversation I have no doubt that they would be doing the same to me. There’s almost nothing more awkward than straight Black people in a group asking “the gay guy” if you think a specific man is attractive.

 

And ironically, the dude that @Lancer met up with is somewhere right now complaining about how hard it is to date too...

 

OMG I knew it! I was born on the 21st too and wanted to ask you but now I know!
CA Birthday Buddy!

My name is actually a combination of the site name and a naming conventions of my favorite MMO Game Star Wars the Old Republic

Cipher 9
The story and character I loved playing the most.


Except my Favorite Number is 21 soo changes had to be made. lol

 

Jordan Burroughs

 

If as a black man talking about homophobia that I experience at the hands of the black community, "what white people do" is not apart of the conversation. For me this deflection is beyond annoying as hell! Its as if to say because white people or other groups do it, lets talk about it as a whole society....NO. Let's stick to the subject and talk about it as it happens among black and brown folks. Tired of "what white folks do or don't do" being used as a benchmark.

 

My boy went from that to this:

 

Rant ahead.

TL;DR: Who are you to judge when you know that being gay is not like being straight?

I think this is a stigma that not only many older gay men face but also straight men as well. Who says that just because you turn 40 or 50 that you're supposed to "settle down?" Is your life over at that point?

Its as if gay men view older gay men who are single in the same light as judgmental straight women once viewed older women who were single in the 1950's...as if they are spinsters or old maids...

I think many men need to remember that not everyone lived the life you lived. They were not Out and proud at 18 years old "living in their truth." I'm a child of the late 70s and 80s, we didn't have Cypher Avenue, Facebook, Gay Video Bloggers, Michael Sam, Jason Collins, Gay Web Series, Gay Marriage, etc... We lived and grew up in a VERY homophobic climate. So you have to remember that many gay men my age and older had a lot of pressure coming to terms with and declaring their homosexuality in their 20s, 30s, and even in their 40s. Added to that, many of us are Out but STILL too private or discreet to let others know we're on the market. So we have to go to clubs, sites and apps to find partners, casual or otherwise.

Some men had whole families before they finally were able to accept it and get into the dating scene. So when I see a 40+ year old man who is single, I don't wipe away my imaginary bangs and say, "Gurl, bye...he too old to still be dating, he lacks commitment." Whether he's now a hoe exploring his repressed sexuality or a good dude looking for a compatible match, I look at him and say its dope that he's comfortable with himself now.

Unlike straight people, us gay men don't have a lot of options for social functions. Especially for black men who don't live in big cities...Even more especially for black gay men since the white gays are often prejudicial and discourage us coming to their events. Oftentimes our parties end up being mixed with young and old because there just aren't many options for black gay men who want to go out on the town.

Lastly, I would remind people that the VAST MAJORITY of 40 and over people on OKCupid, Match dot Com, eHarmony and PlentyOfFish are Heterosexuals. I say that to say, your grandparents' anecdotal uninterrupted 50-year-relationship does not represent the reality of all human beings, straight or gay.

 

I don't want anybody who doesn't want me either. In my experience, white gay guys don't like black men, so I usually don't even bother hitting them up first. I would date a white guy if we were compatible, but I'm not going to "chase" them like so many men of color do. They aspire to be with a white guy and I think that's sad.

It's racist if you completely exclude an entire group of people based on race. Think about why they're excluding them. It's because in their mind, there's a character or physical trait that they dislike about the group and immediately apply it to everyone in the group without giving attention to how everyone is different. That's one of the classical definitions of racism.

 

Age: 25
location: Florida
interests: urban music industry, TV series (Power, Empire, etc), business, healthy living (food, exercise, lifestyle)
height: 5'11"
your concentration in school: masters in anesthesia
your occupation: graduate student
the foods you like: many kinds like Nigerian (especially since I am!), Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Breakfast (Waffle House!!!), etc

And yes that is my real picture lol.

Random: Life is good but I do feel like I cannot connect with many students in my class at times. Many of them are in relationships (heterosexual) and I just do not find many things in common with them. Not like them being heterosexual has anything to do with it but we lack common interests. I do have some people that are like associates/"talk buddies" but no one I hang out with consistently. I am mostly a loner. I have met some black gay men out here that are very cool to see when I go to Pride Center Florida though.

 

It should not be looked at as permanent. You should be dead set on a On My Own plan at least by age 30.

You should be helping your mother pay the bills, first and foremost. That's just being grown and respectful. Aside that, you should be saving towards a security deposit and making at least $40,000-$45,000 a year, if you plan to live by yourself. Otherwise, you are going to have to look living with a roommate. That roommate should be somebody you trust and truly get along with, yet capable and responsible to pay half the bills with no BS.

In the meantime, don't focus on people's personal opinion or judgement on your current living situation, unless they are contributing to your income and livelihood.

 

Nazi memorabilia may have limited commercial value and white privilege is non-transferable. He may already be half crazy so that's a start...

 

don't hate the player, hate the game.

i never fully buy the fitness argument, the same way i rarely buy a woman's suggestion that "i'm only dressing like this for myself". but i'm all for freedom of choice: he can set daily thirst traps and navigate the potential shallow friendships and relationships that often come with it. we make choices. we live with our choices. we make new ones.

he isn't the most, shall i say, butch or attractive guy out there. if muscularity is how he attained self confidence in our culture of consumption and disposal, then i say, don't hate the player, hate the game. in my experience, everyone derives confidence from smthng and markets themselves based on it: dudes lead with their resume #datingindc, their education, their dick size, their cuteness, their money, their style/ wardrobe, their masculinity, you name it. some things, like muscles, just pop more on IG than other traits. looks like he even spun that phatty into a modeling career. get ya money, shawty. #nohateration

 

LOL why these straight dudes always trying to force they heterosexual agenda on us?

 

I nominate the late E. Lynn Harris. I remember discovering his books in high school, n literally sitting in Barnes n Noble reading them in their entirety. He def played a major part in my coming to terms w my sexuality. And its crazy becus I came to experience a lot of the things/situations he wrote about.

 

Like with all things is think "the gay voice" is more complicated and nuanced than most people think. From my observations the gay voice is natural for some gay men just like effeminate gay men but for others it's a learned behavior. I've also seen guys who started out as pretty "normal" masculine leaning guys when they first come out but as time goes on they surround themselves in a gay ghetto so they start adopting gay lingo, gay culture, and increasingly effeminate and flamboyant behaviors. They soon become unrecognizable. Of course people in media like to promote this stereotypical image of gay men because it gets laughs. I also have a hypothesis about whyany effeminate guys are often very bitchy and unpleasant to be around. It's a defense mechanism all their lives they're made fun of and disrespected so they rely on being a spiteful bitch as a way to pre-emptively lash out at people at the slightest provocation or even when aggression is unwarranted. This why I tend to avoid effeminate men whenever possible. I don't enjoy getting into verbal jujitsu matches with people and fems can be especially nasty and vicious because they're so experienced at it.

 

I have to admit, this has been the only social media site I'm actively on or care to be on. Prop to you Sir Delmacy^^

 

What did you expect? He is a heterosexual black male in sports. Those type of dudes are homophobic until proven otherwise. That's like going to a barbershop and being surprised when the inner Wesley Mohammad appears in all the bruthas in there when the subject of homosexuality comes up. You can either chose to deal or not put yourself in those places. It's why I no longer join black groups on internet platforms anymore. I'd rather not deal with that Hotep, BHI, Umar Johnson inspired bullshit.

 

I have zero reason to feel guilty about being a good dude. It's not my fault I accepted it my homosexuality, didn't do the DL thing, that I'm masculine, educated, and employed. I'm not here for chicks to "oh what a waste" over because very few of those broads were checking for me back in the day and even if they were it's not a factor now.

We are good dudes tryna have something worthwhile with other good dudes. I'm just as deserving, if not moreso because it's harder for us to find a dude that knows how to act rite, as they are.

 

I think it probably boils down to my interests - I like doing a lot of cultural things and frequent museums, underground music and art scenes and I like cooking, like really like cooking. I downloaded the ESPN app on my phone and review it daily so I can make small talk with some of my straight male colleagues and my boss.

 

Remember just a couple of weeks ago when the video of the Black woman being assaulted by the white guy went viral and folk were outraged? I doubt that will happen here because the dynamics are off for folk to care.

#1 the victim is not a white trans / queer person or a Black woman.
#2 the perpetrators are Black men attacking what many will still consider a Black man. This is basic hood-world-star-black-on-black crime...again no one cares.

 

I lived a true bachelor lifestyle for the past few years before I met my current partner. I ate out all the time and only purchased ready made meals. But now I met a dude who can cook and he doesn't mind making us fresh meals. He's been slowly teaching me though and now I can cook a little something. He still does the brunt of the cooking (bad habits are hard to shake) but I make it a goal to make us dinner at least once a week. We haven't been out to eat in a long time! It saves so much money and it's a cool activity to do. We'll look at those YouTube videos like Tasty and wonder if we can start incorporating some of the recipes. I like it.

 

What seems to be missed in all of this is that this struggling site is not our careers; however his wack ass web series with non-existent audio is though.