Best Posts in Forum: Group Discussions

I would go to support.

 

This is a real fucked up story. The father and the girlfriend should definitely be charged with child abuse. What makes it worse is he has autism. I'm sure that only adds to an already difficult and disturbing situation.

As far as the second part of the question. This entirely hypothetical for me since I don't have kids and probably will never have kids. But if I did have a son and he turned out to be gay I would be very concerned for his safety, mental health, and emotional wellbeing because I know how cruel people can be. It's important to be honest with kids and not sugar coat the truth because despite the progress that has been made he is still gonna have tougher time as black gay man. I'd definitely would put a lot of emphasis on him being confident in who he is and defending himself and not taking shit from anyone. I would be very concerned about his sexual health as far as avoiding STDs by practicing safer sex and having an understanding about issues surrounding consent, sexual assault, avoiding abusive relationships, avoiding fetishization etc. There are just so many pitfalls that come with being gay.

 

I don't mind trans-individuals and I'm quite comfortable but it does become really odd for me to see what I thought was man, turn out to have woman parts down below. I just feel like if you're going to go for it then go for gold and be the opposite sex.

I think the thing that forces me to be comfortable is the idea that I'm not only black but I'm gay - both were once absolute abominations and still to this day are unacceptable in some circumstances. How can I wield judgement on someone else living their truth?

The issue then becomes extending truths to folks like pedophiles...but that's a completely different conversation.


Edit: this post reminded me of a thread I created a lil while back - go look at your posts @Jai lmao Have your views changed at all since then?
Pregnant Trans-men?

 

Minorities and their unwavering loyalty to group think. Smh.

 

....ankh niggas are behind this

 

When I was younger, high school and college age I had female friends. Once I got into my mid 20s that seemed to stop. Most of the people I tended to befriend were straight men or masculine gay men. As I've gotten older and more comfortable with myself I find that I have tendency to keep women at arms length. Part of that is intentional and part of that is just my circumstances. I work in a male dominated career field so there aren't many women around to interact with. Also other than being attracted to men I have nothing in common with most heterosexual women as far as my interests and ideas. Also it's my observation that most straight women who seem to like having gay male friends do so because it gives them the comfort of having a man around but with no pressure to have sex. It's the "friend zone" that straight dudes dread being stuck in. The woman gets all the benefit you get nothing. She basically gets to use you as an emotional toilet. Fuck that.

 

Dude…. You have plenty of time to catch up. We are not all given the same opportunities to advance early in life nor as we make our way as adults. If you missed those early opportunities or certain options present themselves now that weren’t available before, make your move. No matter what, you will be better prepared for the future.

Our consumer driven society tends to distort the concept of age. Yet, 30 years old is very early in a career/job that is likely to span 35 years or more. As the article makes clear, planning early is key. If you don’t have a work sponsored 401(k), look into a traditional IRA or a Roth IRA. Consistently putting a little money away for retirement can make a big difference. An advanced healthcare directive is also invaluable. As someone who is single with a capital S and is unable to comfortably rely on siblings or nieces and nephews, I have a long-term care policy in addition to the healthcare directive.

Occasional sacrifices will be required as you seek to put yourself on solid ground for a comfortable and enriching retirement. However, you may not view them as sacrifices once you have achieved your goals. Try not to measure yourself against other people and what they appear to have achieved. They may have started in a much different place than you.

 

Wow, I love this perspective. That's a very valid point. We're so quick to demonize people without offering any solution. Sometimes you really just can't do it on your own and because of the way society is set up, you're not allowed to admit it before it gets to a bad place.

But I still think those individuals shouldn't be working in close proximity to their triggers.

 

... Hetero Supremacy

 

That video though

 

The way I was raised, no. But based on my surroundings and people I use to hang out with, and let's say I went that path...absolutely. I'd probably have a couple of baby mamas and selling drugs too.

 

What are some of your New Year’s Resolutions for 2017?

I gained ALL 40 pounds that I lost earlier in 2015 back over the past 4 or 5 months due to school stress and LIFE STRESS so I want to drop all that weight off again.

I want to read at least one new (non-fiction, [auto]biographical, and/or self-help) book per month this year. I want to empower myself mentally.

I also want to work on my thought patterns. Different events in life can cause one to be a bit more negative than positive at times.

Not giving excuses for not doing something that needs to be done.

Understanding what I can control and what I cannot control.

I want to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable in life in general.

I want learn how to be comfortable with my flaws and insecurities.

I want to go on more dates and DANG IT I'M KISSING A GUY THAT I AM ATTRACTED TO this year!

 

Btw,I'm claiming these two. MINE

 

Just wait; somebody bougie family member going to try to stunt at the Thanksgiving Dinner

Family: Oh who made dim greens
Boguie family member: "Oh they are special imported "Neah-moin Mah-keesh"

Family: (rolls eyes) you mean u bought them from Neiman Marcus.......... baaah lol


mean while your grandma and older autties looking at you like lol

 

I think you can push for fair treatment within existing frameworks while at the same time building similar or even very new and unique frame works that are based on non-white gay men. I don't think those things are mutually exclusive, but you definitely don't want to be stuck with just trying to fit into established systems that are focused mainly on whites. And those white dominated systems changing to be more diverse will benefit many (non asshole racist) gay white men as well. I also agree that at some point of beating your head against the wall, you have to say 'fuck you' to certain institutions that will not change and stop giving them your time, your money, your support, and your energy-when you realize it is simply being wasted. Cut them loose.

Anyone who would use 'no chocolate, spice, rice, mayo, etc' is an asshole by nature and should be disregarded. That they would use these terms and show their damn faces on dating/hookup apps with no apparent shame shows how they are even worse than they appear because they either are completely ignorant to their insensitive expressions, or they know and just do. not. care. Fuk them.

-Many white gay men are assholes.
-White gay guys named Brad are the devil(I was rejected hurt by at least 3 of those demons)
-I love mayo lol. but I love chocolate, rice, and spice too! It is all good- nice and attractive guys come in all types.

I don't think you have to let up the pressure on white gay institutions, you can keep complaining and demanding fairness at the same time as you are building institutions for non-white gays, as long as you see progress. At some point cut your losses and abandon them-if you do not see progress in a certain time frame, take your time/money/resources/emotions/energy elsewhere where it is acknowledged and appreciated.

*unless you are well connected, very attractive or very wealthy, being white and gay really ain't shit. You are in the majority group-but still close to the very bottom in many ways. The majority of what is out their representing white gays is not representing the majority of white gays.

JMO.

 

I am from Baltimore, MD. The crabs are ALWAYS good, home of the Ravens and Johns Hopkins Hospital/University (one of the BEST medical and research institutions in the country), and home of The Wire the area I live in, but will be changing soon.

 

This right here^.To an outsider,the rapport we've built around here can probably feel like a lot to jump into.And even now,sometimes I feel like I gain more by observing others' viewpoints and becoming aware of new perspectives.For now,the restrictions are pretty good.I feel like the more people see of what goes on,it'll encourage them to join in.

 

And with one thread,a mass existensial crisis was triggered.

 

I dont need a test for this. Been a night owl since I was 9/10 yo, tossin n turnin, because of a damn 'bedtime'.

 

Everything ur NOT supposed to do. Text, eat, get dressed, display excessive road rage, etc

 

You're absolutely right. I don't think any of the sh!t that's going on today with these kids is anything new. Only difference is EVERYONE damn near, has a video camera at their fingertips. I can only imagine the sh!t that would've been exposed at my high school (probably my middle school, too) had we had camera phones in the 90's. smh LOL

 

I really wish more African countries would stop the anti lgbt stuff and stop killing and arresting people for being gay. But one thing people dont realize is a lot of the anti lgbt ideas come from the west. Many of the countries were colonized by European powers who 1st set up anti sodomy laws ( also eurocentric Christianity, and Victorian values). Many western conservative Evangelical ministries send anti LGBT propaganda to these countries. The Evangelical miniseries are also sending money to the country and to some of the government officials those that support their ideas. There are conservative foreign groups who see Africa as the next frontier ripe for the taking. Some of it is the same ideology that justified slavery and colonialism in the 1st place smh. As a people we got to stop falling for the okie dokie. I dont care what any ideology or religion says I be damned if Im goin to kill my brother/family member over something just cause we disagree.

 

The thing a appreciate most about these is that the girl is played by a puppet and not just the same dude with a towel on his head like most of these Social Media comedians do.

 

If everyone were not so pissed(a common theme today apparently) I would ask for some descriptions of these hot ass men.

It can be hard in the workplace when you are gay and you do not fit in with the gays who hang with the women and talk about shopping and fashion and you are not one of their pet gays. Sometimes you can find a guy or gal who are ok with gays and are not like the 'gay pet women' but it is rare in my experience.

 

I watched this and some of the questions did leave me like WTF while others left me with the feeling of "well..." I also think that a lot of it was coming from a sarcastic place as well, yet because we are so strong and prideful in our blackness that a lot of people take offense to it.

Questions that were asked were very true to our ignorance and self hate. "Why can't we acknowledge that there are many types of black people?" That's a question that stuck out to me because of the fact that a lot of black people and non black people don't acknowledge the fact that black people can be multifaceted.

I was recently talking with a coworker about a persons authenticity in what's considered to be black. For him the stereotypical black person came to mind as loud, outspoken, and "ghetto". I asked him does he expect that behavior from me, as he's gotten to know me over the last year and a half and it left him kind of stuck because he couldn't. I explained to him, that type of black person is just one of the personalities that black people have. I pointed out to him that would you believe I grew up in the hood, literally jumped the fence and grew up with kids from the projects? He would have never guessed it because it's not the "type" of black person I decide to portray in my adult life. Even explained to him that my current way of speaking is not even what I come from. I think in that conversation I opened his eyes to the fact that I acknowledge that there are many types of black people and that were are not what a lot of us people of color tend to portray or have been portrayed as overall.

 

"I remember being late for the bus in grade school and a curse word slipped out my mouth; my mother slapped the pi** out of me. I dont curse in fornt of her still to this day."

When I was 11yo, apparently I slipped up and said ass in front of my mother. Quite frankly, I don't remember any details. I don't remember sayin' ass, I don't remember the subsequent repercussion, I don't even remember being a "curser" among my friends at the time. All I remember is being in the car, so that must have been a Slap Heard 'round the World that my mother gave me to wipe my memory totally clean of the incident. smh. LOL

 

This here....LOL

 

Mine is just a shortened version of one of my middle names. I couldn't think of anything "clever" at the time I signed up LOL

 

Not a fan of either one but Katt is another one of those that feels and is unfortunately supported in his butt backwards beliefs of
gay = bad for "us"
However pimping and selling drugs = good, that's how "we" do
and just keeping it real.

 

Spoiler: Could be NSFW

 

(Academic) Career

I need to just keep believing in myself to do amazing things in the classroom, clinical rotations, anesthesia lab, etc. I just finished 3 cases at clinic today at the hospital and my preceptors know that I am improving. They are happy that I am eager to learn and always taking initiative when interacting with patients. I just want to keep working hard and giving graduate school my all so that I can finish and finally start making money in the medical field like I've always wanted. Then from there use spare time to educate myself about investing and other financial things to build wealth.

Social Life

I want to put myself out there more with my classmates and other people I come across out here in FL. I have already started doing that which I am happy about so I want to do more. I went on my first "date" out here this year about a week ago (busts out into Schmoney dance lol) and it was amazing. The older gay men that I was around actually thought we were together and said I have good taste. I will see the guy perform at an open mic this weekend so I'm looking forward to that BUT anyway... I just want to be more vulnerable and open. Many people that I come across in life often think that I am perfect. The reality is that I am FLAWED. No one is perfect. I never try to come across as such but people will always be like "oh you're so perfect! oh you're so awesome!" But I am human just like them. I want to form more bonds with my classmates. I have been taking steps to do that by not being too big of a loner like I usually am. Going out to dinner, staying and talking after classes, etc.

Love Life

Along the lines of what I said about dating above, I want to just keep meeting people. I am more involved in events to meet more black/Latino gay men out here in FL so maybe something will come from that. Who knows? I just know that I need to keep doing what I am doing now so that the likelihood of coming across more guys that I am really interested in leads to something more than acquaintances/friends.

Health and Fitness

I just want to take things up a notch. I lost 35 pounds last year and I've been able to keep it off (from 220 to 185) so I just want to find the best eating plan and exercise program that will allow for more muscle definition and decreased body fat. Maintaining the exercise in graduate school is not an easy balancing act but I will keep going. All about time management and setting priorities.

 

This is also interesting...
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Question/Statement:
I'm just wondering why are so many comfortably feminine and flamboyant men in the MSM community nowadays. I have no problem with fems in particular, but it's a lack of truly masculine men available for sex, dating, etc. But when we look at females...plenty of feminine lesbians and "girl trade" out here for studs and other fem women. And studs get plenty of play from feminine women. They don't have to "faq out" like the fem niqqaz have to "dyke."

I'm just wondering how the dating climate changed so much with gay and bi black men. Back when I first embarked upon the gay lifestyle (online) 13 yrs ago, there were so many "no fat no fem no busted" demands on gay, bi and DL male profiles. At least 7 out of 10 of those black MSM profiles requested no feminine niqqaz and queens. Nowadays it seems like they coming out younger and flaming hot. Nowadays it's so hard to find a truly masculine man. I'm not talking about the "realness with a twist" type niqqa who front like a trade or masculine niqqa and later on you find out he the biggest queens, just fishy as fuk. I find that to be deceiving. Plus those types would be messy as fuk and tell everybody he slayed yo booty.

It's so many feminine men out here nowadays that it feels like I might as well be with a female. YES females don't have penises but when a dude act like he has a vagina and on his period all month long...it's just a huge turn off. I just prefer for my men to be masculine and women to be feminine. I like to see a bytch in a dress, tights, heels, and with longer hair than mine. And I want to see a man in manly clothing, b ball shorts, man jeans that's regular fit and not like leggings. I want to see a man with a manly hairstyle as well and NO arched eyebrows. I want a woman to be womanly and a man to be manly. He doesn't have to be super masculine and adhere to straight black community standards...just be a man about it and exhibit masculine behavior, mannerisms, aura, and attire.

It's not that I'm complaining, but I notice a lot of changes. Does liking men mean you have to queen out, be fishy and act like a woman? I always thought there were just as many masculine gay/bi men as queens.

I even notice posts about dyking among queens and transgender women considering dating butch queens when a gay man doesn't prefer a female face and body type. I just don't get a lot of this...real talk.
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Reply:
THE TIMES ARE CHANGING THE DEFINITION OF WHAT IS MASCULINE, WHAT IS FEMININE IS CHANGING SAME WITH RACE ATTITUDES ON RACE, RACISM, ETC IS CHANGING SOCIETIES DON'T STAY STATIC BACK IN THE 14TH-17th CENTURY EUROPE MEN WORE WIGS, HIGH HEEL SHOES, MAKEUP AND IT WAS PERFECTLY FINE THEN IT CHANGED AROUND THE 18TH CENTURY ALSO OTHER SOCIETIES HAVE DIFFERENT DEFINITION OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MASCULINE I THINK ITS GOOD THAT YOUTH THESE DAYS ARE ACTING HOW THEY WANT ESPECIALLY LITTLE BLACK BOYS WHO ONCE ONLY HAD FEW BOXES TO CHOOSE FROM COMPARED TO WHITE BOYS THIS WHOLE DOWN LOW LIFE STYLE IS DANGEROUS DISEASE RIDDEN, AND SAD LIFE IS SHORT WHO SPEND IT HIDING MOST OF YOUR LIFE REMEMBER TRUTH WILL COME TO LIGHT.
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The Clap Back:
A lot of genuinely masculine fully gay men are out there, they're just both hiding and hard to tell.

Hard to tell because their masculinity is genuine in the way we walk look talk and sound.

Hard to tell because we're not walking around switching hips and flailing hands.

Hard to tell because we're not carrying purses and pride flags everywhere we go.

Hard to tell because we're not talking DELIBERATELY SO FUCKING LOUD ABOUT WITH OUR BUSINESS BECAUSE WE WANT THE WORLD TO NOTICE WE'RE GAY AND THE ENERGY AND ATTENTION THAT COMES WITH IT.

Hiding because feminine out men love to expose a masculine in men's personal business and it's not even just the exposing part, it's the embarrassing part. Flaming fems DELIBERATELY always try to make it LOOK AS IF you're ONE OF THEM and JUST LIKE THEM in order to destroy our masculine image, especially from other masculine dudes.

Hiding because some feminine men are so extra and ratchet they create an embarrassing stereotype of all gay men and none of us wants to be viewed, treated and mocked as such.

Hiding because fake masc fem dudes have deceived masc dudes too many times just to get a taste smell sound and feel of genuine masculine high testosterone dick/ass.

Hiding because fake discreet/dl fem dudes deceive them too many times trying to suck them into their feminine company and the feminine crowd and the feminine community and their feminine chaos in hopes of making a feminine conversion of a masc dudes ways images and life.

Hiding because feminine men in general are hateful, envious, two faced, conniving, obsessive, impulsive, thieving, drama loaded, baggage loaded and the long list goes on down to my feet. Trust me I would know because I am a genuinely masculine and fully gay dude myself and have experienced and know the fuckery of feminine dudes.

So yeah, there are TONS of masculine gay men out there, it's the fault of fems so much masc men hide and don't want to take chances searching preventing us from finding and approaching each other and I also think SPIRITUALY AND SUBCONSCIOUSLY, this is what their bitter asses WANT! They want to see MASCULINE GAY MEN unhappy and better yet perish for both having it better than them and not wanting anything to do with them in any way shape or form!! We are envied and hated.

The same with straight women. Nothing makes them more bothered and envious than MASCULINE gay men. It's drives them up the fucking walls! They want to keep us apart and keep us miserable if it's not going to be with them. We are envied and hated.

Masculine Power!
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We would go to my grandparents home, which was hood adjacent, eat black eyed peas, greens, and cornbread until 11:59 then we would all pray into 2015 because my grandparents believed how you start the year is how you go out. Well I guess they were right because my uncles would go in the back yard and shoot guns in the air and they were getting shot at or shooting all year long.