Best Posts in Forum: Group Discussions

  1. machoBLKnerd

    The 100 Daps Club

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    1. stop living in the past, including visiting old dates' fb and instagram pages. #theyhotthough

    2. forgive my parents and rekindle a relationship with my dad

    3. pray more
     
    #11 machoBLKnerd, Dec 30, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2018
  2. Cyrus-Brooks

    Cyrus-Brooks is a Featured MemberCyrus-Brooks The Black Vulcan
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    How alot of straight black women act when you don't show any interest. Especially if a handsome gay black man turns them down. giphy (30).gif
    giphy (29).gif
    giphy (11).gif
     
  3. acessential

    Squad Leader Best Thread Creator The 1000 Daps Club

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    This was petty as hell. Don't get mad just because someone called your web series what it is, trash. I tried to support him, but I can't get over the cringiness of it all.
     
  4. sekou

    sekou I be Jamaican
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    5'6 rules hehe
     
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  5. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
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    My little cousin, who is now prob 22/23, I remember when he was a kid of like 5/6 he got in trouble for something at school, and somehow 'gay' was involved. He told my mom he was gay after school, and when she asked him if he knew what it meant, he said, 'yea, i like boys'. From that day forward I knew that ppl are born gay.
     
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  6. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
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    Creativity is something I want to play a bigger part in my life too.Even if I don't make money from it,I wanna get back into having it be a bigger part of my day and general mindset.I always feel more like myself,and generally better in every way when it is.Hopefully I can meet someone compatible to sit around and play with,even if it's in a living room or something.

    I've always over-thought everything,so I wanna get back into being less tense and trusting my instincts more.Life was always more enjoyable for me when I didn't stop and analyze every little setail and variable of everything.So basically I need to get out of my head a little more.

    Socially,I'm tying to get out more and find more people like me.I've been looking into cool and more unknown places around the city where people do things like comedy shows,art showcases, intimate music performances,and stuff like that .I feel like it'll do me a lot of good to soak up the vibes of more like-minded people.

    And lastly I wanna be a little more open to people I'm close to,or at least be more attentive to them.As I said above,I get lost in my own thoughts and it makes me too self-involed , so I have to be careful not to lose track of other people's worlds.
     
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  7. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

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    Black people can be prejudiced. Every race is to a degree and in different ways and levels.

    In America, no other race holds as much political and financial power than whites. And that's wouldn't be a bad thing if white people didn't spend so much time trying to make sure it stays that way with wielding that political and economic power. I think even when the Hispanics out number them, it will be many generations before they could "overtake" them,if ever, financially or politically.

    Very few people of color can go through a day without interacting with white people on some level. But many white people can spend all day and never interact with a POC. Not at the McDonald's. Not at the gas station. Not at the gym because there's plenty of towns and rural areas where diversity is just not there and most white people are not ever concerned with if something has diversity or not. Some are but most are not and if there's one POC, that's what diversity is to some of them. Not all white people are like that of course.
     
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  8. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
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    • Read more and exercise my brain more often, puzzles etc.
    • Update my style to be more contemporary while still reflecting my age and personality.
    • Be a more giving person even in my moments of lack. A monthly thing.
    • Have less casual/meaningless sex and be open to more substantial connections.
    • Commit myself to focus on what is going right in my life and only be interested in good news/energy.
    • Proactive Healthcare in my Mind, Body, Soul.
     
    #9 Omega Level, Dec 30, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2018
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  9. RolandG

    Bae Material Squad Leader The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

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    Nick trying to say the fake masculinity on dating apps but then queen out on their instagram/facebook pages. I can't say that i disagree, however, you could see his arched eyebrows in the very first pic so that should've told the end of the book. IJS
     
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  10. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

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    On one hand talking to a straight man about gay sex would seem odd. Like...

    "I can tell you if really want to know. So, he was sucking it and pulling it down and it felt like warm jello and he was playing with my balls with his other hand. And that shıt was feeling good as hell then we flipped it and I was sucking on his nuts and his hair was tickling my nose..."

    I'm sure a bonafide straight guy would be over there like... cpnoway:rocks::lupe1:


    Meanwhile... If dude's remotely curious... He's sitting over there like :ohhh::franko1::feedme:


    I'd not have a problem giving details about gay sex to a straight guy, it's just are they ready? I have told straight women about felatio as that's really all they could relate to but not really anything else. They never seemed interested in the other stuff at least the few I have spoken too.
     
  11. cypher21

    cypher21 Deactivated Account
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    Came for the Michael Ealy Pic, stayed for the great personal piece :umad:

    CAREER

    Literally go view my Choosing the Right Path theard I posted and you'll know what my career's current state...That being said I find it a highly important thing that I need to improve on but don't necessarily know how to exactly do that or have the movation to do so...moving on...

    PERSONALITY
    This is the area I plan of spend the most time in this year as I strongly believe it hold the key to unlocking all the closed doors in my life. Better health? Better career outlook? More(any) sex?? You guessed it. Personality and mental state reigns supreme! Odd how you described yourself as cold and unemotional at times because my friends describe me in almost the exact same way. I can be funny and supportive but overly rational too. I've also noticed that I tend to share similar opinions with you during podcasts. (great minds perhaps?) I think its a blessing and a curse sometimes lol keeps us from getting hurt so I see no real reason to change, maybe just balance it out a little.

    What I need improvement on at this point is my self esteem, and willpower. The first is somewhat self explanatory as low esteem affects several aspects of your personality. I can't sing this site praises enough, because you guys have done so much to help me with this (probably without knowing it) just by being great examples of men..gay black men.. that I look up to and enjoy communicating with and just make it ok to be myself so thank you...anyway (enough of that!) the willpower thing is trickier...I have alot of bad habits in my way of personal goals I want to reach (fitness, artistic, personal goals..) and I want to improve my consistency overall in the things I think, say, and do.

    FASHION

    For me this really is dependent on the amount of money I have coming in but I would love to upgrade my style. Currently I've adopted a minimalist wardrobe approach and only wear clothes that are monochrome (Black, White, and Grey with only color accents) I've found that this simplifies things considerably. I want to up my shoe game up because at any given time I only own 3 pairs of shoes period.

    PRODUCTIVITY

    And finally I feel this kinda going back to the willpower thing but for productivity my main focus is organization. This is something I greatly admire in others but have not been able to perfect for myself. Creating a daily plan and sticking to it. Having a place for everything and everything beening in its place...that sort of thing...

    I enjoyed this...feel like I needed to sit down and write all this stuff out thanks @Nick Delmacy
     
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  12. acessential

    Squad Leader Best Thread Creator The 1000 Daps Club

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  13. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    Attitude

    Hmm, I'd say my attitude towards guys needs to change. I'm not ashamed to say that I have trust issues & can be a VERY standoffish if a guy makes a pass at me, regardless of who it is. I know where the issue starts from, dealing with an issue in my childhood with a family member that warped my views on relationships, trust & sex. It leads to me being snappy, & despite my age, I haven't shaken it off yet.

    Sex/Relationships
    I'll be 32 this year & I've had sex only twice. Needless to say, the issues from so long ago & me not owning up to the fact that it still affects my perception of sex, relations & other men has caused a psychological problem that I really need to address and triumph over to obtain a healthy sexual & loving relationship. I have a very 'keep to my self' personality in this spectrum & it needs to change.

    Career
    Honestly, I haven't met my career goal per se. I work a regular job but my dream job is to be a prolific writer of fiction. I love shows like Xfiles and many otger creature features. I created a SciFi/Fantasy series a while back in 2014 & tried my hand at Epublishing. So far Ive completed three novels & I'm working on the fourth. I'm creative with entertainment skills but I like to write & care about nothing else in that regard, lol but I haven't exactly pushed myself forward to go all out promoting my series. It's a tough market in my opinion & it's easy for me to compare myself to J.K Rowling, Hugh Howey, & other successful scifi/fantasy franchises & feel a bit inadequate. I'm not supposed to, but do at times & I need to work on being more geared toward personal success & not obtaining extreme mainstream appeal.

    That's all that really needs to improve for right now that I can think of.
     
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  14. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
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    #7 SB3, Oct 14, 2017
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  15. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Couple of things...

    *Am I propping up dude and his video on some entrepreneurial sh!t...YES
    *Am I happy he didn't use make up to lighting or bleach his skin tone...YES
    *I'm also cool with a man who takes care of his skin.
    *Do I want a dude who wears make-up...NOPE.
    -I don't care if you look like Freddy Kruger, I want my ni@@a natural.
     
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  16. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

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  17. Tyroc

    Tyroc Deactivated Account

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    After this admission from what I've seen on the boards I might get banned but I've never been able to make it more than ½ way through either A Lord of The Rings movie or a Harry Potter movie without falling asleep.
     
  18. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    This is interesting. As someone who has frequently lived abroad through my academic and professional life, I do believe that black gay American men have a completely different experience traveling the world especially in places like Europe and Southeast Asia. I do think there are a lot of instances of fetishism but I also think that a lot of men do have genuine interests is one's blackness, and Americaness. For example, as a 23 year old, I spent a year living in Geneva, Switzerland where I was an intern at the United States Mission to the United Nations there. In many ways, I was a star there, there was never a shortage of European men (black, white, whatever) that was interested in me. On my days off, I would frequently travel to Switzerland's border countries too, Germany, France, and Italy and in each of those places there were plenty of male suitors. The American accent works wonders in many ways.

    With respect to these guys, I think that commentary is poignant. The video that was posted is a bit weird because I think the commentary gets lost in his presentation of being "frank." I think the comments on not being sure how to respond to being gay in a foreign land is something that I work on each and every day. There are many places around the world that I would definitely use extreme caution. On the other hand, particularly in Europe that is not the case. I think there are drastic cultural differences between how European and Asian men interact with one another gay and straight than we get in the United States. I use to play the game, is he gay or just European all the time. I haven't lived in any Southeast Asian countries for any extended period of time to comment on gay culture with any real level of confidence but I think that what this guy and his partner are doing does have an effect of how Americans are perceived. I use to get upset when people I would meet couldn't fathom that I was black and American and a diplomat charged with protecting and promoting America's interests. I remember my first time crossing the border into Italy where I was awakened by 4 police officers with guns who thought that I was an illegal African refugee/immigrant. Thank god, I can speak Italian well enough to say, "don't shoot, I am American."

    There is a big world out there and the more representation we get to exchange with other cultures the more we become humanized especially as black and LGBT. I am preparing to depart to France for the next two years, which is a culture that has a long history with America and Americans but I also think that me and my husband will probably be able to shape perspectives as soon as the meet us because we don't look or talk like the average American diplomatic family and that is something that is worth a whole lot.

    View attachment 1395
     
    #7 BlackguyExecutive, Jan 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2016
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  19. redsai84

    redsai84 For the night is dark and full of terrors.
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    nah man i had that happen to me before i was looking at dude like wtf
    [​IMG]
     
  20. Franky

    Franky Dreamer by day, Dreamer by night

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    I guess my resolution would be to check a few more items off my bucket list in 2019. A few of these items include:

    1. Attend the Sundance Film Festival.

    2. Get one of my screenplays "optioned" by a studio.

    3. Go storm chasing (I know, right?) Tornados intrigue the hell out of me.

    4. Ride in a hot air balloon.

    5. Do more volunteer work.
     
  21. mojoreece

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

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    1st I wish people would stop using top/bottom as nouns instead of verbs. They don't describe ur whole entire personhood. What u do in the bedroom has nothing to do with how u manage your personal finances (unless u escort haah lol).

    The heteronormative stuff is for the birds. With all the advancement in gay rights I dont get why some gay dudes still want to adopt them; just to be treated like victorian age women. :gucci:

    Thats what im talking about even modern day women don't follow that stuff.
    Ok so what if one dude pays the rent. There is still cable, utilities, cell phones, student loans, car note or monthly bus pass lol and other expenses u can help out with lol
     
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  22. grownman

    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

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    I guess since you MAN enough to admit your short comings than I can mine.

    Well, I have been repeatedly told that I have an attitude problem. That has come from my family, few friends and...alas from a couple of folks on here. Lol. It seems that this "quiet person" has nothing positive to say when he opens up his mouth . I am complaining about myself, other people, jobs, guys etc.



    I will start working on the negativity by getting back in touch with my spiritual nature. I believe in the law of attraction and feel that maybe the root of my issues. I am speaking from my perspective. I also noticed that I don't have to respond to every issue in my life or on this site-sometimes we just need a old fashioned "shut the fuck up". Reading what @HauteChocolat said the other day put me back in touch with what is important. Also, my buddy on here-my "CA bestie"(that sounds gay as hell right?) a wonderful guy that I rant to. Lol. He helps me put things in perspective.

    I have been humbled this year BIG TIME in my career, relationships, finances, in every area. But, that is also where some of the frustration has come from. However, I read a older post by @ControlledXaos that really blesses me because it is soooo close to what is happening in my life right now. I read that thing like it's a damn scripture out of the bible. He knows which one I am talking about. Lol.

    I periodically go back and read some of the older posts and see where my head was. I also discover some that were not originally seen when posted. It's some stuff out there...

    My things are taking at least 5 minutes out of my day to center myself.
    I am also going back to the gym and staying consistent. I get excited for a while and quit.
    Anyway, my point is and I believe that Nick's also that we don't have to be "perfect" in somebody else's eyes However be willing to notice we have some dust on the window of our lives- and try your best to clean it.
     
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  23. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    I have a few resolutions.

    1) I need to be a more consistent friend and keep my commitments. I have been real flakey this year and way less social. I think part of it is that I am in this weird space since leaving a dream job and being disconnected from the US.

    2) I want to remake my apartment to be more adult-like. I just want my living space to feel like two adult men live there. Right now, its a mix between part fraternity house, part diplomat quarters, part "millennials live here."

    3) I want to work a bit on fitness.

    4) I want to downsize my wardrobe and declutter.

    5) I want to be okay with not pursuing a PhD. Right now, I am slugging through it without passion and its draining but its been a bucket list goal.

    6) I need to be a more present husband.

    7) Take that trip to Argentina. Start planning now!
     
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  24. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
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    People like this are a special kind of draining. Vague questions get vague answers from me.
     
  25. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    The gag on this story is the church...If he would have been a gay man struggling, they would not have given him a dime...but just because he fukin some hopeful housewife with a hobby and three kids while raising his palms to Jebus every Sunday he is a man with to the highest degree.

    Mature me would ignore him...Petty me would probably curse him out, tell him to get a real job and get like me instead of sippin on Sunday's Jesus juice. It shows you how fake he AND the church system is too.

    He has a basic black ignorant mentality and the ever so aggressive church judgement syndrome.
     
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  26. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
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    It's interesting, because I went through a period of experiencing the reverse. I wasn't anywhere near comfortable or even sure enough of my sexuality in hs, so I had gf's for all of that exploration. However, once I hit my 30s, and having so many str8 coupled friends, I def went through a period where I started to isolate and pick and choose when Id hang out w them. No one ever made me feel awkward, but when you're the only party of one at the communal table, you start to not exactly want to be around as often.

    What I will also say is that their awareness (born out of privilege) of the amount of effort it takes to make relationships continue to work, really reinforced the reality of just how far behind the 8 ball so many gay men are. The whole kid in the candy store w unlimited options, or constantly red flag hunting approaches many guys take from living in an all app world is definitely not helping us get to date number 2.
     
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  27. acessential

    Squad Leader Best Thread Creator The 1000 Daps Club

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    "Cutie" sounds very kiddish. I know very few people who use that word. But I do use "cute" to describe dudes that I've found attractive. It might be a generational thing or just a personal preference. A lot of dudes don't have a problem with calling someone they find attractive "cute," because we can distinguish the difference between cute meaning attractive and cute meaning adorable.

    Example:

    Mahershela Ali: "Damn, he's cute." (He's physically attractive)

    A toddler walking for the first time: "Aw, he's cute." (He's adorable).
     
  28. Tyroc

    Tyroc Deactivated Account

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    Mine was from the first black super-hero that I was exposed to in the 70's that didn't have black in his name, spoke proper english and wasn't a derivative of another hero.
     
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  29. acessential

    Squad Leader Best Thread Creator The 1000 Daps Club

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    My high school wasn't like what you see in the movies. Being a jock or a cheerleader didn't automatically make you well liked or popular. And the nerdy kids didn't automatically get bullied unless they started shit themselves. Basically, people liked you if you weren't an asshole. I was fairly quiet, but I was heavily involved in school. Valedictorian, student council, national honor society, black student union, tv station, cross country. So I knew a bunch of different groups around the school and was nice to everybody. I got voted homecoming king my senior year. I don't think that made me popular in the stereotypical sense, I just knew a lot of people and didn't make enemies.
     
  30. acessential

    Squad Leader Best Thread Creator The 1000 Daps Club

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    Shit was awkward, but kinda funny. I'm not a fan of the whole narrative that "black people are so much more homophobic than everyone else." I don't think that's necessarily true. If you hang around mostly black people, you're gonna see more homophobic people who happen to be black. Even if you don't, if you look at the media, that's the image you're gonna see. Stuff like this video that try and make it seem like black people are unique in their homophobia. Go to a rural white town in the south or Midwest, you'll probably find toxic homophobia too. Go talk to recent black college millennials and you'll find folks who are more open-minded. There are different factors in play. Black people may say "ew" to your face. But everyone, mostly white people, will try to pass laws restricting your rights. Everyone's homophobic and I feel like folks try to make black people carry the full burden like we started that shit.
     
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  31. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

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    With any item / type of clothing, its all about the person wearing it.

    Blue collar working men wear jump suits everyday for their employment and men have been wearing them for decades. Fashionable ones I'm cool with as well. Like when we talked about it here on the main site.

    Dwyane Wade’s Onesie Jumpsuit

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    CAT SUITS THOUGH....

    [​IMG]
     
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  32. takeyourmeds91

    The 1000 Daps Club

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    Nah, all the dudes gay...the only one that can pass for straight is the one sitting at the top on the right (and MAYBE, the dude in the yellow/black plaid shirt)
     
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  33. DFW Brutha

    The 100 Daps Club

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    What happens/happened in the vehicle stays in the vehicle.

    [​IMG]
     
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  34. Champagne Papi

    Champagne Papi is a Featured MemberChampagne Papi side-n*gga paralegal
    Most Comedic Player The 1000 Daps Club Best Gifs

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    ....N*ggas can miss me with that hyper-masculinity bull sh*t....that sh*t is going to kill us.

    It's just a f*cking smile, not the proclamation to the cracks in your self-defense.
     
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