Best Posts in Forum: Mental, Medical and Sexual Health

  1. cypher21

    cypher21 Deactivated Account
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    This is why I chose Dwayne Johnson. All jokes and assumptions aside, he is an amazing man that anyone would be fortunate to know. I hope this message helps someone..thought it was worth sharing.
     
    #1 cypher21, Jan 11, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2016
  2. Jdudre

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    SO for the past few years now I have been dealing with depression. I have been seeing a therapist and doing things to keep my mood up and change my way of thinking but sometimes its hard. I guess I wanna know what do some of you guys who have gone through depression done to keep yourself from not being complete blue
     
  3. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Too late...the damage has been done.
     
  4. alton

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    I find this so hilarious when he goes in on Walter's face. LMAO

     
  5. thane

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    Man you right about dementia, you really can't know until you deal with it....You really got me with the truth of what you wrote.The thing I find most upsetting for those affect by the condition is a loss of human dignity and I suspect much of the outrage reaction spreads from this root. Like you said, if his friend had her own apartment it would seem more respectful of his wife and her condition.
     
  6. Sean

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    Yeah, I frowned on this ad too for all the above reasons already mentioned. But if asked my opinion, I would advise anyone who inquires if they should get their son circumcised, No. If I'm ever have a son, I wouldn't have him circumcised, even though I am. Americans always find a way to make themselves different for all the wrong reasons. And people who discriminate against uncut dicks fall into the same toxic ethnocentric mentality of white Americans. Every uncut dick isn't ugly (once you pull the skin back, they look like any other), every one doesn't smell (if they do, someone needs lessons in hygiene) and if you don't want to increase your risk of disease, it's no different than being cut...wear a condom or abstain. lol. Apparently, sex (and jacking off) is supposed to feel even BETTER than what it does, so honestly, I'm not mad at my parents. I'm just a little envious of the guys whose parents didn't take the route mine did.
     
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  7. SB3

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    I think it's rly important to speak up. Its common for us to not want to 'burden' others w our 'stuff', but thats just a part of reality. I had a college 'friend' (close friend to 1 of my close friends) commit suicide by jumping off of a building a few years ago. While I wouldn't have considered us 'close', I'd have loved to have been the ear for her 'stuff', if it could have prevented the outcome.

    Most of us have had our bouts, but I rly think the most important thing is to speak up. Get some of those feelings off of ur chest. Soooo many ppl can relate.
     
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  8. acessential

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    My mom is pretty religious, but also very loving. She's had gay friends, both male and female. I even have an older flamboyantly gay brother (technically half brother, but I don't use that as a qualifier). So I knew it wouldn't be a major issue. When I was 15, I had my very first boyfriend and was in that teenagey, hormonally charged, excitement phase and got enough courage to tell her. We were sitting casually at the dinner table talking about something unrelated and I managed to bring it up. She didn't respond negatively, she was just shocked and then told me, "It's okay. You still have time to change." That was surprising and slightly hurtful.

    Time had passed and in order to really drive the point home, I asked if my then boyfriend could come over. My older sisters always invited their boyfriends over with no issue so if she were to say no, she would have been a hypocrite. She said it was okay and when he finally came, we were all sitting in the living room. She was trying to be nice but I could tell she was mad uncomfortable. Me and my boyfriend broke up soon after and we didn't mention it for a little bit.

    A little while later we revisited the conversation. I explained that it wasn't a phase. She said that she accepted that it wasn't and shared with me that the reason she was shocked and didn't understand was because I didn't really have any stereotypical gay qualities. I was pretty gender conforming my whole life unlike my older brother who she could tell was gay since he was a little kid. She didn't think gay people could look and act like me.

    Nowadays, our relationship is great. She loves me and she loves my partner. And she even jokingly asks him to buy her stuff or to take her on a vacation. It's all love and acceptance. Just like I always thought it would be.
     
  9. Omega Level

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    Why do I feel like headlines like these come around every couple of years and then you hear NOTHING and people keep living their lives?

    Safe sex should definitely be imperative in ones overall holistic health, but I have to say sometimes it does make me wonder about conspiracy theories and the pushing of dangerous health, disease, and drug propaganda that may not be completely true only to have an ulterior motive at play.

    What the motive may be? Im not sure. And I agree why take a chance on it. But when I see headlines disguising themselves as informative, but may actually be trying to produce panic and fear, it gives me pause.
     
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  10. Winston Smith

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    Ok, whatevs. Just because I have a differing opinion doesn’t mean I’m “indoctrinated.” Is circumcision the equivalent of Hare Krishna’s and Scientology now?

    I’ve been round here long enough to know that you and I agree on just about most issues but every few months there’s like ONE issue you and I will
    [​IMG]

    I deal with the victims of FGM often in my line of work (as I’m sure @BlackguyExecutive might have in his). I personally can’t get worked up over dudes acting like circumcision is some major male issue (like Father’s rights, forced sexual slavery of young boys in the Islamic world, etc.) when it ain’t, especially when there are male issues that I (imho obviously not yours) think merit real attention unlike these weepy dudes on political billboard trucks. Some of that is just my general disgust with political trucks. Like anti-abortion christians who put pictures of bloody, mutilated fetuses on trucks in Ohio and all it did was make hungry for buffalo wings...

    But I digress.

    So yeah, I think circumcision is stupid in general, and often perverted due to religious/ethnic considerations (don’t even get me started on pre-slavery retarded African customs or Jewish rituals, mohels, and rabbis sucking bloody baby schlongs). Yeah, military doctors didn’t ask me or my father’s permission as a young serviceman when I was born on a base whether I wanted to keep a little on the top, but in the end there are, to me, more important male health issues ( where is the pink ribbon or walkathon for prostate cancer?).

    But that don’t mean I don’t love your concern and you for putting it out there, bruh...

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Omega Level

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    Reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from Harold and Kumar. :sabu:

    Bottom line is I don't give a fuck how you were raised, "toxic masculinity", or whatever the fuck ignorant reason, if a GROWN ASS man can't bother to wipe his own stankin shitty ass, he's a flat out crazy person with mental issues.


     
  12. alton

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    100% Psychopath. That honestly seems about right.
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. ColumbusGuy

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    Well naturally I have to be the odd one out. I had both parents, I had two older brothers. My mother stayed home from work(she left a lucrative job at Batelle Institute to marry my factory worker father)until I was eleven. Mom was not very 'girly' and besides my little girlfriend in elementary school, I was surrounded by guys. My brothers, their friends, neighbor guys, my father's friends. My own friends besides the one girl were boys. I tried to hang a bit with some of the neighborhood girls but we just did not click. After elementary school I did not have a female friend until my senior year in high school.

    With some notable exceptions, I have trouble with women. They never gravitated to me, I never really missed them, and as an adult the most problems I have had(especially at work) have been with women-most of them just do not take well to me. I have zero female friends now. None.

    Really Super loud posturing overly masculine men do make me feel a bit uncomfortable because I may feel a bit inferior, but I usually just tell myself they probably don't have a brain in their heads, beat their wives/girlfriends, have little d@cks and shrunken nuts due to steroids, so I end up not caring.
     
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  14. Omega Level

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    When I first saw this story I already knew the initial backlash, specifically when I saw that his girlfriend was a white woman. So I had to look further into the story which also had a video attached in which everyone (with the exception of B. Smith) spoke about the situation, including their daughter.

    After seeing the video, I 1000% agree with what he is doing and I actually find it very emotional and sweet as well as loving for ALL parties involved.

    First of all, not only did he not leave his wife, but his girlfriend helps take care of her as well. They are a family. Secondly, their daughter agrees with it and is happy for her father.

    You know what would be selfish as fuck? If you get fucked up in some way that your are totally incapable of being a proper spouse for your partner, so you think "well since I'm fucked up, you just better be fucked up with me." I feel that is what would be awful and selfish.

    Its one thing if he left her and went out partying it up with a new girlfriend, but that's not what this is AT ALL. You can tell that man still loves the hell out of his wife and can see the pain in his face he has probably experienced for years. So the fact that he can get any ounce of joy and companionship from someone else (while still caring for his wife) is freakin remarkable.

    Yes, one can say they could of kept it to themselves, not exactly sure what was the motivation to tell the story, but people that find fault in this story or think this man is being selfish should be ashamed of themselves.
     
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  15. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    I have no problem admitting that when I see "toxic masculinity", I'm triggered because of how dismissive and condescending it is. It along with "mansplain" are like catch all phrases.
     
  16. alton

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    Being HIV- Doesn't make one better than HIV+ people.[/QUOTE]
     
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  17. cuspofbeauty

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    I grew up with both parents but mainly gravitated toward my mother and aunts. One thing i will say is It has made me more comfortable around women than men though. Men that are uber-masculine make me a tad bit nervous and cause me to have anxiety. I wouldn't say it has affected be for the worse though.
     
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  18. Artistic Arsonist

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    Back when Facebook did that rainbow filter for your profile pic, I did so for mine, really just because of the legalization of gay marriage. My mom saw and bluntly asked as I was passing through the living room. I'd just come out to my friends the night before, so I hesitantly shook my head yes because I couldn't quite bring myself to say "Yes, I'm gay" yet. She reacted as if I told her I put the car keys next to her purse. Very indifferent. Very "that's nice to know", without the Full House sentimental moment.

    It's been 2 years since and my sexuality's only ever been brought up once. It's weird because it often feels like I'm not out to her even though I am.

    As for my dad, I haven't come out to him yet. Our relationship is oddly somewhat distant, so opening up to him is quite the band-aid to rip off.
     
  19. Nick Delmacy

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    I often wish that I wasn't circumcised but I'm not losing sleep over it.
     
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  20. bpaisle

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    I say just look out for #1. I'm not putting myself at risk for the next mofo. If condoms and Prep are what it takes, then so be it.
     
  21. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Re: Gif Usage


     
  22. RolandG

    Bae Material Squad Leader The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

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    It's complicated
    I mean, it's mainly a sign of immaturity on the dudes part. Sorta like anyone else who doesn't wash the dishes thoroughly or clean their room or wash the back of their necks so that their white shirts don't turn brown. Because we are sexual creatures, the thought of trying to be intimate and rubbing a dude's ass and coming up with some shit on your palms is a turn off.
     
  23. mojoreece

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    If people can learn to say Kardashian, Tchaikovsky, Stravinsky and such we can learn names from the motherland.

    I would even be up to hyphenate my last name w/ ____-Okorocha or Okorocha-______. That has a nice ring to it when printed on the wedding certificate lol.:p
     
    #8 mojoreece, Nov 1, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2017
  24. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    So basically I'm kinda exhausted with folk knee jerk reactions of being dismissive or low key mocking most males issues. Its even more of a let down when its gay dudes who will jump at any opportunity to support the most mundane female issue of the week.

    I had a weird human emotion...(idk call it empathy) as it relates to boys and men who have or could develop sexual / intimacy issues due to their penises not being sensitive (nerve endings) all because their foreskins were removed.

    Instead (regardless of the medium) discussions around the topic start to go into what the commenter finds sexually appealing in the penises they personally want or how this isn't really a concern because female genital mutilation is worse or how its not a big deal because their circumcised dick is fine.

    Believe it or not many males are exposed to this dismissive type of behavior constantly through out their lives and it not only prevents males from talking about medical issues but more dangerously not seeking medical attention for their illnesses or problems. Then folks want to blame it on toxic masculinity.

    Nonetheless, I'll keep using this platform and other social media platforms to call attention to issues that impact boys and men regardless of the disappointments.
    :martin:
     
  25. NewAfrikan

    NewAfrikan Squad Member

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    Unfortunately, I think for people who already believe that. It will further their beliefs
     
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  26. ControlledXaos

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    Sex Education

    Sex Ed should be comprehensive. These holier than thou people who only want abstinence taught in school are part of the problem. Americans have an odd way of handling sex education and children. Keep things age appropriate it's fine. But by the time these parents have the talk, only one of them usually, it's too late. Sex ed should be a continuous process. Parents can explain the emotional part and the raw penis in vagina portion but let teachers explain stds, birth control, masturbation and same sex sex if they are too prudish. Hell let them opt their kids out of the same sex part if they want.

    I think people are too worried that they are going to encourage teens to have sex but I don't think that's true at all. They should be happy to have them be informed instead of getting info from their child's friend's older cousin visiting from out of town.


    Sexy HIV Ads

    They HIV ads are either Sexy or with the urban targeted ones, the dudes look suspect. I get sex sells but I do think that the message can get lost if they are only trying to bring awareness. Someone could look at it from the pov that "I'm Sexy and I have hiv and you should feel bad for rejecting me 'just' because I have HIV."

    This is a serious disease. And no amount of sugar coating people being HIV Positive into "POZ" or "undetectable" changes that. It's manageable. But it's also totally preventable. It's expensive and there's a mental cost associated as well because there's stigma attached to someone for the rest of their lives for any potential partner they must inform them of their status.

    "Not a sentance"

    I think that part of the reason why people run to this could be that maybe originally it was meant to encourage people who are recently finding out they are positive. However I think it's been turned into "oh, well if you acquire hiv, you'll live." and people look at HIV as something that will eventually happen to them anyway.


    Active Participant for Prevention

    So I have mentioned before I watch Divorce Court and you really can learn how to deal with people in a relationship by some of the advice Lynn Toler provides. One that's really stuck with me is on one episode she told a couple that you have to be an active participant to prevent a pregnancy. You can't go "maybe I won't get pregnant this time." and expect to walk away baby daddy/baby mama free. This is how black gay men need to think about hiv or any std for that matter.

    The numbers show that young black non heterosexual men have a higher rate of acquiring hiv. so knowing that why are there not more people in this group doing what they can to make sure it's not them? These sexy hiv ads show that you don't have to "look sick" so muscular six pack abs having dudes can have hiv like anyone else. You can not tell by looking.

    Coitus Alternatives

    Ok so I'm definitely a fan of non penetrative sex. I don't care how I get my orgasm and I'm glad I don't require an orifice to reach it. I like intimacy and built up. Penetration is good, don't get me wrong but I can jack while your junks in my face and I am a whole lot more efficient at mastering my domain than anyone else. But I admit that I can tell there's more....product... if I'm penetrating or getting felated versus manual manipulation.
     
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  27. Winston Smith

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    I've seen this brother's videos before, hope he's in a good space with support. Yeah, I was there once, about the same age. Funny thing is, while I felt like next to zero at that point in life, I actually accomplished MORE after 30 than I did before that age. So, this moment in his life will be defining. The thing to remember is not to focus on age, focus on what you want and map it out. Don't get caught up in the age-milestone as much as ensuring your progress is sure and steady. For example, most of the big names in fast food (Ray Croc-McDonalds, Harlan Sanders-KFC, Dave Thomas-Wendys) made their names after 40 or 50. But before that point, they were working their plans.

    I just encourage folk to just keep on trying new things, evolving and changing goals, etc. Even the old plans you might have had still got a theoretical shot as long as you're living and breathing. You don't know what might be in store after 30. Glad I lived long enough to understand what Bob Dylan meant when he sang, "I was so much older then, I'm younger that now."
     
  28. Tyroc

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    I feel lucky to have grown up with the ideal dysfunctional childhood.

    With the exception of my Uncle's influence, I grew mostly around and taking care of females.
    My Father and I were never close and he gave me the basics, which as an adult I appreciate but it was my Mother that instilled most of the ethics, values and philosophies that shaped me, like working hard for what you want to achieve and standing by my word or doing the right as opposed to the easy thing, were handed down from her and served me more than "do what I say or else."

    There wasn't much materialism from her, the most important things to her was a decent, safe roof over our heads and the ability to travel during vacation time.

    From 12 to 17, I had 24/7 - 365 full responsibility for my younger Sister and my Grandmother who was losing her faculties. Two age extremes.

    My Mother always stressed that fair or not, it was the hand I was dealt so suck it up and deal with it.
    Not what or how my Father handled problems.
    Realistically if my Father had been more of a presence or influence in my life, I don't think I'd very much like the person I might have become.

    My Mother wasn't perfect but she was strong and loving without being an overbearing smotherer. I'll always appreciate everything she gave me mentally, emotionally and physically.
     
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  29. mojoreece

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    I just cant understand why grown ass folk refuse to use condoms.:ravetho:
     
  30. ColumbusGuy

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    One good thing resulting from the AIDS crisis back in the day(you know, back when if you got HIV you just died-that was t)was that guys were more willing to explore all kinds of other forms of sex and sexual expression than just fucking or sucking. Something that seems to have faded somewhat since HIV is not a death sentence anymore. It does not help that nearly all porn is focused on fucking and sucking, and almost everyone is defined by how they have penetrative anal sex(especially when at least a third of gay men do not even like anal any way.)
     
  31. ControlledXaos

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    I don't think things are going to be changing until two generations from now.

    I was with my ex for almost 3 years before we went raw. I don't regret the decision. I don't think 7 weeks anyone should be at that point. I probably will not be at that point with anyone else for a very long time if ever. But it's definitely a personal decision for someone to make.

    I also don't think it's that big of deal based on the risk versus reward to go raw with someone who you don't even have the social security number of. Same thing with these women who get pregnant off a one night stand. If you are in a high risk group you need to do what you need to do to stay negative. Condoms are free. Clinics and clubs dole them out like candy. You can also get them through your health insurance. Prep is free or heavily discounted through health insurance as well.

    And to whoever it is in this situation, your bf is on Prep but are you? I just wish there was more information that stuck about prep beyond it preventing hiv because it should not be used to just have raw sex to avoid hiv while neglecting the other stds. It's like that's all some gay men understand and forget the rest. All of this should be covered with thier doctors. Even on the followup visits.
     
  32. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

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    Did you see this @DreG?

    I feel a lot of different things after viewing this.

    When I talk to people about how dating is or was for me when I was in Mississippi, I always mention that there is a cut off age where once you hit your late 20s your dating pool becomes exponentially shallow. If you are not married by your early 30s "something is wrong with you." Which leads to all the DL dudes there.

    Jackson is a college town that doesn't know it is or function like it. Jackson State, Mississippi College, University of Mississippi Medical, Millsaps, Mississippi College, Tugaloo, and at least 3 JuCos. Plus it attracts other college students from the smaller towns in a 75 mile radius. So there's a constant flow of young people in and out. A significant amount of these college students don't stay after graduation. So you can date / have sex or whatever only for long as you can attract that demographic.

    I think HIV is so prevalent because you don't have comprehensive sex education and too many people think that it won't happen to them. HIV is sexualized and unfairly criminalized and heterosexual people are apathetic because it's not their problem.

    This was a little frustrating to watch because I knew exactly what everyone was talking about. When the HRC rep said he was white I had just said "but you white tho" a moment before. I am glad he recognizes that.

    I wonder what I could do to help Open Arms? I may be changing my Amazon Smile donations from My Brothers Keeper (also in Mississippi) to them.

    Also.... Dr. Mena, I see you ain't got no ring on. I love his accent.


    And for what it's worth, all of Jackson doesn't look like abandoned houses and ish all over. They literally picked THE worse places for that filler footage.
     
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  33. Tyroc

    Tyroc Deactivated Account

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    I hope he's able to fight off his depression and conquer his demons.
     
  34. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

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    :ufdup::ooh::mjlol::heh:

    See... This is something my ain't shit a$$ would do. Lolol
     
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  35. NikR

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

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    Last Thanksgiving, I walked into a room and found my patient actively dying. I tried to resuscitate him- he died anyways. It, along with a thousand other cuts, drove me to therapy.

    Therapy is not a dirty word. Neither is medication. Asking for help is the first step in the process of getting and feeling better.

    I'm glad that so many people here have lent their voices to ending the stigma surrounding treatment of mood disorders. It's my pleasure to offer mine too.

    For more information about depression and treatment options (including but not limited to exercise, psychotherapy, medication and support groups), visit Depression and How Psychotherapy and Other Treatments Can Help People Recover . You can also inbox me.
     
    #6 NikR, Dec 7, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017
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