CA Podcast #55 - The "Happy 5th Birthday" Episode

@Ockydub Thanks for clarifying that "dating str8 dudes" analogy because that's pretty much what it is for {most} of us. Its the attraction to the attributes and personality and desire to have that in another gay dude, but we not trying to bone. LOL What sad is when a n!kka can't even get a 'Str8 Date" smfh LOL

You also hit on something I've pretty much taken to heart... well not to heart but something I've become more conscious and accepting of, when you were talking about the average looking guy getting passed over for the "Alpha Male". It sounds f#ked up but me personally, when I'm on the train or anywhere in public, if I do happen to see someone attractive lookin' in my direction I immediately look around to to see if there is a lighter skin, stereotypically latino looking, or even white person near or behind me because from experience, that's usually the deal. Even in the gym, on the RARE instance that I do get some sort of attention from someone (looks, smile) when the light bright comes around that attention is immediately refocused to him.

 

CA born August 24th? Virgos rule!

Have you bruhs considered Patreon or other regularly scheduled donations to get to that point where you can take CA to the next level, whatever that next level is to you? i.e, get commitments from folk.

If money (i.e. you could quit day jobs) were no question, where do you see yourself taking the site, what more would you be doing?

The biggest value of CA (to me) is the real world info you relate to young brothers out there, giving them someone to hear and relate, somewhere to get real world info from men, not intellectual and cultural boys that just want to be Perez Hilton. That's what the 40+ crowd like me should be doing, giving resources for the next wave like CA to build on. We should want to see the ones that come after us, whether 5, 10, 15 years younger, so young bros have to struggle less and get to accomplish more.

As for the last question, if something is written well, crafted and entertaining, it'll find an audience, gay themed or not. Black folks watched super white shit like Friends and Seinfeld too (lol). But I would like to see a broadening of "gay media culture"; everything doesn't have to be a Freefall, Looking, or Noah's Arc. It'd be good to see a black gay/bi equivalent of Chappelle's Show or PBS Frontline, not just another stereotypical flaming or twink revamp of Sex in the City or Scandal.

Another great podcast!

 

That's an excellent idea.It's been a great avenue (no pun intended) for a lot of the podcasts and websites I frequent.

 

There should be more Carter Heywoods. And Rags. Just regular people (and their weird pets.)

Interesting....Ocky does not have any white friends!!!!!


I liked a lot of what he said. I loved the religion part...from both guys lol. 'Only Gawd can judge me!' lol. I like what he is saying on these podcasts...even when he is sober like this...but then on the site..lol.

I always want to bring up all kinds of crap(that is mentioned wayyy more in the Bible) and say 99% of us are going to hell then if this issue is so important. And why was it not a Commandment? And why didn't Jesus talk about it if it was so damn important? Been eating that shellfish and wearing blended fibers? It is gonna be hot down there!


Nick's story was kinda funny-they were acting like he was straight and they thought he was straight so they were not being 'gay friendly' because they thought that is what he wanted-for them to act like they had no clue. Never thought of that as a consequence of not being 'out' and all. Kudos for having the discussion though. After all these years I still get the feeling that with my parents there is still a bit of this feeling(we love you but, yeah, you are going to hell). I don't think they would come out and say it, but I think it is still kinda there from certain things...they do say the 'only God can judge' stuff but still....

I guess that stuff just comes along with religion with many gays in America.


Glad I am not dealing with serious dating and all of that bull of trying to find a life companion-without doing anything to really get to know the person or spending any time with them. How did we do it back in the day? lol. And it is not about time-it is about choices. If it is important, you turn off your device(smart phone, computer, TV, tablet, etc) and make time. Even if you find someone, how are you going to build anything that will last if you can't find time for them-to spend time with them?

* I really don't even know how these relationships last when people do not live together. I don't. Do you ever really become a family? We were a family-a childless family, but a family, a household, a unit. More than just a couple. That part of 'straight' stuff I buy. I think it would be better to live together and have an open relationship than to live apart but be sexually monogamous-that just seems like committed fuck buddies to me. Oh well JMHO. (not talking about anyone in particular or on here, more of people i knew IRL)

Good interesting podcast. Glad people are prefacing everything with positive comments. There is not another site like it...maybe for your next endeavor you can *Spin* off a..um....less melanated version of the site? lol.



*started with a reference to Spin City, and ended with one too.

...When Nick did that thing and tried to say two words instead of one and it came out as a lisp-I did that same thing with my neighbors a few days ago. They just looked at me like 'what'? and I just hung my head for a second or two and then went on...lol. I know they know by now. It will just be confirmation for them lol. Funny.

...Why do I make it hard for myself on here? smh.

...Black gays seem to be either gayer than white gays or not nearly as gay as white gays. A masc black gay guy makes a masc white gay guy look inbetween or like he is acting (butch queen?-is that it?)unless the white gay is like Chuck Norris or something. Does anyone else see this?
As if it almost seems like there is alpha, and then there is Omega...with black gays, and not so much of a 'continuum'. Again JMHO.

Black gays, white gays, bisexuals, etc. we are just like most people though-most of us ain't shit.




*Got caught up on the site and posting and reading and my jasmine rice just cooked for an extra 45 minutes dammit.

 

@Ockydub @Nick Delmacy
To combat the anonymity problem and photo taking gay terrorism threat have you thought of doing a Cypher Avenue costume anniversary party?

 

Really questioning who listened to this pod cast because some of Y'all clearly just skipped beyond the last section.

I'm all for the meet up. I'm OK with no photos. This needs to be a non messy "safe space" event. We can check all phones and cameras at the door and people can exchange contact info with post its or in the parking lot.

"Girls, girls! You're both pretty! "

I think one reason why Nick is viewed as more popular, at least on the site, is that he's openly single so there's a door open and mystery about that. Everybody knows Ocky is happily married AF for all intents and purposes so he's gotten the write off. Lol

College Campus Dude

Mane if you don't gone head and put your photo up there and be done. I say this because one, you'll get more responses. Which may not be all positive but you'll at least get quantities. I'm sure he's got some people who suspect him as gay anyway but many probably don't have any idea. One facial photo and leave it a that tho. Make the rest private. Can't guarantee that word won't get back to your home town but if you can't put yourself a little bit out there you won't find other like minded folks.

As mentioned if you are Mr. Frat, that may be something you don't want to do but likely a quarter of the dudes on campus probably engage in same sex activity anyway so there's that. Also consider if you are in a small college town or a 500k+ metro area. Or have a major city within an hour's drive. You may not have much of a spotlight in a larger area but if you are loading up the app in the dorm, people will know you are 769 feet away because I'm sure there's other classmates on too.

Older Dude Looking for Frawnds

It's never too late to make a connection with people. It just takes a little more work and effort when you have a full time job. My advice is to find people through a hobby. Sign up for cooking classes, paint and drink sessions, adult sports league, strike up convo by in boxing someone here on a comment that you agree with/like.

I won't say it's easy but it's doable and the same strategy used to meet people platonically can be applied for romance. A lot of the problem is many gay men I feel have a "No more Friends" policy which is hard to overcome but that's them, not you. Just make sure people are in their lane as mentioned. There is no Friends to Lovers upgrade path for most of us.

Dating Internet Popular People

I think I could handle it. As long as I know that you spend your time with me and I trust you. If you tell a follower "thanks, Sexy" it's likely just to keep said follower and boost them up. It literally doesn't mean anything. If you are entertaining DMs by sending questionable stuff that's different however. I'd say this is a case by case thing. I just can't see many IG models going after every DM they get and it not getting out that they're using IG for hoeism.

*edited for clarity

 

^^just because someone did not comment on certain things does not mean they did not listen to it. If it does not apply, let if fly. They(those guys) did not email me for my take on things, so I did not respond to the questions-that was meant for Cypher Avenue, not me. JMO. Not that there was anything wrong with your responding/responses. lol. I listened to the whole thing and some parts made me think or laugh and that is what I commented on. Although it was long-movie-length and I probably should listen again. I may have started multi-tasking/drifted off a bit after a hour or so I admit though.


You used to be such a nice guy on here! lol

 

I think our longer podcasts are def best as background noise while multitasking, commutes to work/school or cardio sessions at the gym...

 

I am just saying I would have thought there would be more excitement from the squad when they said they were open to doing a meet up. I know a few people would clear schedules for this.

 

Also I enjoyed the longer format. Only complaint is that I wish the background music was lower.

Or eliminated I was glad to hear it gone when it was but it came right back like a hooker gets the clap.

 

If I do that I need to listen several times. The other alternative is focusing but breaking it down into parts. I really do kind of miss parts or something strikes me but after listening for another hour other things have come up and I forget about what struck me before. It is like why people want to get their points in and not wait and listen in a discussion because they will be drawn off that topic and forget their response.

The other option is taking notes and hell no...well that might not hurt to pause and right some stuff down, now would it. Duh. lol.

'cardio sessions at the gym'....


I can barely get my lazy ass with my still somewhat painful but improving feet to mow my damn lawn. Thank Christ I am starting back to work Monday. Too much off time is deadly(and I have run through all of my savings-the savings my creditors know nothing about and really don't exist and have never existed-just in case any ever read this). And I have never ever worked tons of time off the books...Ya here that IRS?

*Just looked at Controlled's post* Ohh.. Ok. Well yeah I can see that. Especially since there are so many that seem to be in Atlanta/easily can get to Atlanta. Especially compared to the now famous 'NYC get together' stuff in the profile posts. Hell I might possibly go if I lived in Atlanta (after a vigorous diet/exercise regime, tanning(pale as fuk right now in high summer smh), Hair Club For Men, etc.)

I probably would not go even if it was one mile away who am I kidding. Back when I was 35 I would have though. *sigh*.

*I like the costume idea.

 

Music levels are always tricky...I edit on monitor speakers that make it sound too low at times, then when I re-listen later (after uploading) in my headphones the music sometimes overpowers the talking...Our first 5 or 10 episodes on Cypher Avenue were without music and that was boring AF....Some ppl said we sound like a ghetto NPR...Music makes me feel more like FM drive time, not AM talk radio, lol

 

@Ockydub is def related to Brenda Johnson! He just keeps it too real! Idgaf realness! I wanna say, 'Ima need u to get a filter', but I honestly don't want u to get one. This mofo just says whatever is on his mind. I can only imagine the unedited versions...

@Nick Delmacy ur mental rolodex game is no joke! And we see u being less guarded bro! Hell, ur a gaylebrity on here, say what u wana say!

Podcast was dope, enjoyed that it didn't feel like a 'rushed, by default' one.

If u have any std that isn't short term, u need to speak up before any sexual activity! No question. Ur personal life is no1's business before you decide to welcome them into certain spaces. As Ive stated plenty of times, protection or not, that's bs to not speak up abt ur reality. Thicken the skin, and realize that, just because it may change things for some ppl, you still have plenty of options out here.

I don't trust Ocky w a celebration (he's old, n just wants to fish n have a few beers) lol, so nick, ur gonna have to actually make something like that happen! I will quit this bytch and peer pressure all of my friends to, if it takes yall 10 years, 5 years from 50, to finally do an invite only sitch for CA.

And I better get in free and have open bar since the only birthdays on 8/24 belong to yall and me! Sooo sorry @DreG (u won Miss Congeniality tho...)

 

And yall are welcome for my @ColumbusGuy length comment! Lol

 

As do I.Most of the podcasts I enjoy from any website are at least 1.5hrs

 

I'll take it!

 

Don't believe the hype! U know they old! @Ockydub only wants to fish, n @Nick Delmacy want's to be able to keep saying that no one wants him/showed up/rsvpd/etc.

Then again, u might be in on the scams too! U ARE in ATL, n had the nerve to not tell us u were all wifed up, n stuff!

 

Right! He got a man and was days away from leaving the hood without telling us nothing.

 

It's u and I for the long haul @DreG ! Fuk these non loyal hos!

 

Ghetto NPR? NPR should be so lucky. Maybe if they played your soundtrack, Terry Gross wouldn't make me want to drive off the side of the road.

AM talk radio? (cues banjo music). "Here's Octavius and Nick with your Morning Farm Report, muhfuggahs..."


Well, if there is a CA confab, don't forget invites for us "old" folks out in the sticks. We'll just sit in the back and buy everyone drinks

 

I already got one foot outta the door on this gay-azz lifestyle anyway.

 

You are wrong for this and GAWD will get you for it.


I ramble therefore I am. Unless I got some early Alzheimers sh@t or something?