CA Podcast #57 - The "Instagram Thirst Trap" Episode

I feel for @Nick Delmacy and his IG suggestions.Mine were only Power Ranger and Guitar stuff at first,now that's all spaced out between posts of dudes on the beach or taking shirtless selfies.Instagram has clocked us.

 

IG is suggesting before and after photos of weight loss, thirst traps on the bubble (less than 5000 followers), NPC fitness dudes (which is probably due to the few that I have followed back after them following me), dudes with beards, and fitness ladies.

 

Tats....

I think there is a point where a dude can have TOO MANY tattoos. I don't mind them to a point. Like, I don't mind if the entirety of your tattoos is one are sleeve that goes up to cover your chest. There is just IMO, a difference between this:




and this:


We have now crossed a point of no return for me. Dude is legit attractive but I just can't deal with the photo above.

Personal Trainers...

I think people have to have a reasonable expectation. Some bodies are just never going to be a certain shape no matter what, but you have to look at your base, find someone with a similar build and become the best of that build for you. Personal Trainers are not miracle workers and as @Ockydub said, if you don't have a meal plan to really bring it home, you are not being comprehensively trained. You may as well just get a workout buddy. I really can't imagine going to a personal trainer who doesn't have clients he can refer me to to vet him or has at least been fat/thick before to know the struggle.

IG Dudes...

I think we don't see average guys posting up thirst traps photos is because they are average. Or they may be.... they just don't have a lot of followers to share their photos. It's like d!ck and ass photos. Only dudes with big eggplants and phatty phatty phat phats post their photos up so if that's all you see, you may think "Oh all these 2% body fat dudes are plentiful!" when it only takes one trip to the gym to see that for every 1 of those v at the waist dudes, there's 30 regular/average dudes and about 6 10% body fat dudes. lol

Freak Flags....

I definitely keep my cards close to the vest. I have anxiety and self consciousness about a lot of things sexually. Yep, there are things I want to explore and do but it's hard to open up (giggidy) to folks you are interested in or dating for judgement concerns versus TrapboiATL82 you just met on the Jackstr. However, I know very well that when people do not communicate their wants and desires, it can lead to many negative things.

Good cast, looking forward to the couples one.

 

Tattoos
If a dude had a tattoo I would prefer a dude to have an ascetic tattoo(simple star tattoo included lol) with the least amount tattoos as possible. Its quality over quantity. I prefer this

Over the ones below. Even-though everyone looks great (bodies included) the full body random tattoos is a is a huge strike against a potential mate not necessary a deal breaker though. It just would depend on the dude.


The whole personal trainer thing.
I believe most personal trainers are full of sh** lol. I remember going to one gym and meeting my white dizzy female coworker there. I was interested in a taking a kick boxing lesson with a personal trainer. Why did I go listen to my coworker when she told me she would introduce me to all the personal trainers (all black muscular a lil older then me). Even though they were good looking, all they did was flirt with her (totally ignore me) talking about how they do fitness contest and how oily and muscular they get. The girl was soo dizzy she didn't even realize they what they were doing (or it could be what she wanted). I said forget it. I remembered another personal trainer saying out loud that most gym machine equipment is useless. I also find it interesting that a lot of fit "personal trainers" clients are obese women. Like are they into some BBW stuff or something lol?

Freaky
As I have stated in another post . If I am truly in love with you I will try anything at least once. But there there is levels to freakishness so we would have to build up to some stuff.

Social media and IG looking
Sometimes I feel like there's not hope looking at everybody feeds of them traveling around the world, meeting great people, doing great things, super hero bodies with beautiful phat A***es and perfect white veneer "teefies" lol. I be like well I must be doing something wrong to not be living that wonderful IG adventure life too. I got a need together together before I even can think about dating smh.

 

I just don't wanna grow old with someone that has full blown body tattoos. I wanna see your sagging butt without the droopy dark ink marks.

 

I've come to terms early on in my gay black dating life that the images on social media are are no where near my actual dating demographic. On the the other hand I guess it can't hurt to hope and dream. On the topic of the tattoos, I have a few of my own but the few that I have there is some type of meaning behind it. I rather that from a dude then just random ink being placed on there body so they can be the thirst trap this week with the most likes.

 

I have four tattoos on my arms and each tattoo I got during my stint in the military. They have some sort of sentimental meaning. I don't mind tattoos on others as long as they are on your body. I HATE FACE tattoos.

Interesting commentary on drinking and sex. When I was a very young gay, I use to have to be drunk to engage in relations or feel free enough not to care. 10 years later, I drink because I enjoy a nice aged scotch or wine.

 

"Mushroom tip" LMFAO Speakin of mushroom tips, Jussie doesn't have a background in porn and really didn't do any salacious simulated sex scenes but, he did show his mushroom tip in The Skinny. LOL!!

 

Damn @Ockydub , we had the same f#%kin workout schedule. I did the 6-7 days a week, 2-4hrs at a time for about 6 months and the results were great, to be totally honest. I slacked off a little from listenin' to muhf$%kaz tellin' me "oh...you workin out too much"..."ohhh, you doin too much cardio, you gonna burn away your muscle"..."uhhh, duh duh duhduh duh duhhhhh" and then sadly, eventually I stopped altogether. But that was mainly because my freelance side hustle was pickin' up and that paper was lookin' good. I rationalized that I got this bangin' body and still couldn't meet er' muhf$ka so, might as well drop it and settle in and make some money. I've honestly been tryin to get back on it now for 2yrs but it's hard, dude. It's like I still got in the back of my mind "f@#k it, all that work for nothin', anyways so why bother" because on some real shit, I wasn't doin' it to be healthy, not with the way I smoke. It was purely aesthetic.

I tried/ am trying the Personal Trainer thing, and I took a break from him because I have some other obligations comin up but...my trainer is actually pretty good. I didn't get a meal plan per se but, he gave me pointers and recommendations on better eating, this veggie/fruit/fiber shake thing I need to drink 60oz of a day, and I get 1hr 30min sessions. He's not cheap, but he doesn't break my wallet either, but to your point, on some real shit it has to be 4-5 days a week, on a strict meal plan, and hardcore training to see any results with a trainer. Me and him have talked about that. I just cant afford 5 days a week with this dude, not now at least. I'll start back with dude in November but I do think about another point yous made. Not that I'm attracted to dude... he fly as f#%k, but I'm not in it for that, but...I do think that maybe in the back of my mind, I'm really just payin' to have a workout partner because I can't find a workout partner of my own volition. My only close friend here in NYC is my cousin and he can't work out with me (too weak). Everyone else I know is lazy as f#%k and/or can't work out with me because of their strength level or, they just don't want to work out with me. So yeah, maybe psychologically I'm paying for a workout buddy {that doesn't really workout with me smh LOL}

Last point, that whole thing about not dating because one thinks they aren't in optimal shape, definitely applies to me. I feel like with "so many" IG Model and Physical Trainer looking dudes and Runway Model lookin dudes walkin the city, who the f#$k wants a "ol' regular a$$ dude" like me (obviously no one LOL). So I kinda just stay off in my own little "world" and watch everyone else.

 

Very good podcast. Some very good points were brought up that are not usually talked about, especially the anxiety/differences about sex with a stranger/hookup and with a partner, and the 'gotta be buzzed or high to have sex and be myself' stuff. Both definitely worthy of posts and discussions of their own.

 

@Nick Delmacy 's gay voice made an appearance in the podcast and it never fails to crack me up! That and the comment about the IG algorithm! XD

 

Yeah, I love the gay Nick voice. Cracks me up every time.

Its funny tho, when I listen to them you can't help but notice Ockys loud ass laugh that is actually unique sounding. Kinda.

Yet, Nick rarely EVER laughs or if he laughs, it doesn't really translate as a laugh. Either he doesn't find Ocky funny at all or he doesn't laugh, like EVER.

 

Personally, I really like the tattoo thing. Im actually working on an arm piece myself. Not a sleeve but half sleeve and forearm art.

No stars or kisses,lol... As well as no hood like tats by mediocre professionals. I personally like to go to mostly award winning tattoo artist with big acclaim. My thought is, if your getting something that will last forever, try to go to the best. I would even pay extra and wait to get an appt with the top tattoo professionals in the biz. You can wait over a year sometimes for the appt, but its worth it.

But I agree with you guys on the fact that too many tattoos can be gross. Esp if they are crappy looking. Like they were done in jail or a garage.

Also, and I dont want to offend my dark skin brothas. But as far as tattoos are concerned, dark skin and tattoos? I dont get it?

I know you may like the art and want to be apart of the tattoo brotherhood, but the darker you are, it just doesn't translate AT ALL. In my opinion.

I feel like if your really dark skin, let that sexy smooth dark black a$$ skin speak for it self. When really dark skin men get tattoos it sometimes looks like a bunch of crap on their arms or like they have skin problems if its too many tats. You can't even tell what the art is sometimes. But guys with clear visible tats that are well done and nicely placed? I actually find that as HOT....

 

I'm usually laughing all the time...I have a quiet laugh like Muttley from the old Hanna-Barbera cartoons:

 

I don't really care for tattoos. I'm not impressed by them, nor am I turned off by them. The only body modification that turns me off are piercings in the public area and in the earlobe that leaves a big, gaping hole inside. It's gross to me. This was a very good podcast though. The both of you had some very deep conversations. Continue with your work. Cypher Avenue is growing more and more everyday, and you're reaching out to a demographic of gay men that no one has ever cared for. We salute you.

 

Tattoos are a HUGE turn off for me.

There is nothing like a nice smooth, tattoo-free body lol. I honestly think that a lot of guys get tattoos to give them that "edge" that they may not feel they have without the tats. There's a college basketball player who is my type 110%, but within the last year or two he went out and got these ugly, big ass tattoos. Just whyyyy?



...lol

Octavius brought up a really good point about sex that all people can relate to regardless of sexual preference. Why is it easier to let the freak out with someone who you barely know, opposed to someone who you are with & care about. I get it, because I'm kind of the same way. Why do we feel like our partners would judge us for some of the freak ass shit (lol) that we like to do?

I don't have an answer for it, but just wanted to point it out because it was a great topic. I think all of us know people who have cheated because they may not feel as "sexually free" with their partner. Crazy...