...love or money?...

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by Shon, Oct 12, 2016.

Tags:
  1. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    A very simple (and complex) question that has been on my mind lately, so I wanted to get your input.

    WHAT SAY YOU, CYPHER AVE?!
    medium._psXrcRhyTT-dsXUsrGE4Im1J65zpPLACWwO64_Hnkk.jpg
     
  2. Rah Brown

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2015
    Messages:
    118
    Daps Received:
    175
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    I always thought there should be a balance between the two. Everyone wants a stable partner plus an great professional life. I know sometimes that's not always realistic. I know life happens; if I know you're at least trying or making some kind of attempt I can be cool with that.
     
    Jdudre and Shon dapped this.
  3. Lancer

    Best Thread Creator The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2015
    Messages:
    1,263
    Daps Received:
    1,870
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Minas Morgul
    Do you mean if I could pick one to have, which would I pick?
    If so, FUCK love give me the MAHNEEEEEEEYYYYY!!!
    [​IMG]
     
    #3 Lancer, Oct 12, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2016
    DFW Brutha, Fanon, Jdudre and 2 others dapped this.
  4. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
     
    SB3, DreG and Shon dapped this.
  5. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    PHUCKIN RIGHT!! LOL
     
    Nick Delmacy dapped this.
  6. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    However you want to answer the questions. Outside of seeing which one people choose, by being a little vague, it's interesting to see how the question is interpreted, too.
     
  7. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,035
    Daps Received:
    2,482
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    If you would have asked me this 5 years ago, or 10 years ago, I would have said money hands down. Now I lean towards love because I personally know some pretty wealthy people who are also miserable and lonely. In my previous jobs working for wealthy attorneys and security industry execs, I saw that having money could not solve their problems, particularly with relationships and family.
    Now I am pretty much focused on cultivating meaningful relationships and the rest come. About two years ago, I decided to move me and my husband across the world and reduce our two person income household to a one person income household (that is decent but not like a 2 negros working full time) and I have to say that we are categorically closer than we ever have been before because we have to talk about money and make decision together. When we each had our own income we were a lot looser with communications because it was mine yours and ours. Now it is just ours for the most part.
     
    #7 BlackguyExecutive, Oct 12, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2016
  8. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Problem is, everything you just said could just be easily be applied to having Love without Money. So many relationships suffer or end due to finances and lack thereof. So it definitely is subjective.

    I think it's easier to find love & happiness when you have money than to find money when you only have love. Especially the older you are. Not too many ppl wifing up a broke 35-40 year old man, let alone going out with him on a date that he can't afford.
     
    Jdudre, Shon and BlackguyExecutive dapped this.
  9. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    Uh oh...I REALLY need to get my shyt together then. lol.
     
    Jdudre and Nick Delmacy dapped this.
  10. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,035
    Daps Received:
    2,482
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    Well played! Classic reverse and negate argument style. I think what you said is true. You need money. But I think many people believe that money can buy happiness and fulfilment. It doesn't. With that being said, being in love and being broke definitely, sucks. But finding love when you broke can be built upon, cultivated. It doesn't work the other way round. Finding love when you rich is a lot hard because intentions play a huge role. I definitely think there has to be a decent balance either way.
     
    Jdudre and Nick Delmacy dapped this.
  11. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    I guess that the problem with discussions and questions like this, its too black and white. We're having a debate on two extremes: Being wealthy and miserably lonely vs being madly in love while living in poverty. Most people live in between these two exaggerations.

    Having never been in "love," me personally, I can't value that emotion over money and income...especially when I've seen so many couples split over not having money or one person making more than the other. On the reverse, I've never seen a person lose or quit their job due to not being in love. LOL.
     
  12. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    LOL just make enough to support yourself...I think the problems with finances & dating lie with grown men who can't pay their basic bills and constantly need to borrow money (ie: living above their means).
     
  13. Aejae

    Aejae Socially Awkward Aejae
    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Messages:
    246
    Daps Received:
    500
    Location:
    Columbia, South Carolina
    Not to be vain or sarcastic about this, but I think money is very important and a necessity in this day in age. I think that with relationships, if that's what we're using in text of love, is not really that important because I feel that they somewhere down the line may end up being a late 90s R&B break up music video. So yeah, I agree with the majority in this comment section.
     
    Jdudre and DreG dapped this.
  14. mojoreece

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,381
    Daps Received:
    2,929
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC
    I want love eventually but right now just give me the money bags.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    #14 mojoreece, Oct 12, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2016
    DreG dapped this.
  15. Jaa

    Jaa
    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2015
    Messages:
    395
    Daps Received:
    665
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Interpreting this as I can have one and not the other, money. I don't really foresee me having love anyway, at least not in the common, traditional sense, so I wouldn't be missing out on anything anyway. It's always seemed a little weird to me, though I'm happy for people who happily have it. Money will provide financial security and allow me to more easily engage in certain pursuits with less stress.
     
    Jdudre, Shon, mojoreece and 1 other person dapped this.
  16. Rah Brown

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2015
    Messages:
    118
    Daps Received:
    175
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Hmm interesting
     
    Shon dapped this.
  17. jusrawb

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Messages:
    295
    Daps Received:
    460
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    "Can't miss what you never really had" I wasn't poor or maybe we were but my mother never made it seem that way. I had everything a kid could ask for. As adult I see what money can buy but I experienced love first, so I choose love over money any day.
     
    Jdudre and Shon dapped this.
  18. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,351
    Daps Received:
    6,031
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Jxn
    I've lived pretty contently without love.Can't say the same thing about being broke.
     
    Jdudre, SB3 and Shon dapped this.
  19. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    You better say that shyt!
     
    SB3 and DreG dapped this.
  20. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Im a virgo. We will be fine being able to take ourselves on solo vacations. Run them dollars > love.
     
    Shon and DreG dapped this.
  21. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,035
    Daps Received:
    2,482
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    I was reading the book on the five lessons we learned from the dying, and not one of those interviewed wished they earned more money at the end of their life. They all wished they cultivated more meaningful relationships, did what they really wanted to do in life, live more honestly, and learned to let go quicker...but when you dead you dead I guess so what does money matter at that point?
     
    LeMignon and Shon dapped this.
  22. NikR

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2016
    Messages:
    536
    Daps Received:
    1,195
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    Oh c'mon. Life isn't so binary.

    I'll say this- when you're born, you yearn for attachment. And when you die, you yearn for attachment. Somewhere in the middle we deny or lose track of the need for attachment- we become too proud, too scared, too jaded, too selfish, too...whatever. The thing that happens in the middle? Money. And hurt. We soon learn the cost of a lot of things but the value of few.

    My big fancy medical degree won't keep me warm at night- it hangs on a cold wall in my parents' house 300 miles away. Sterile. So I say yes to more relationships and yes to more love.
     
    #22 NikR, Oct 18, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2016
    LeMignon, Shon and ColumbusGuy dapped this.
  23. ColumbusGuy

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    When people are on their death beds, how many are opining about 'gee I wish I could have worked more or made more money during my life? And you are absolutely right-binary questions like this are usually starting with a flawed premise.
     
    NikR dapped this.
  24. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    ALL OF THIS!! I totally agree!
     
    Jaa dapped this.
  25. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    I too am a self-sufficient Virgo...and I approve this message. lol.
     
    SB3 dapped this.
  26. Shon

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Daps Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Dating:
    Single
    Let me just say this, in the long run, I would definitely choose love over money...absolutely. However, for people like me who really don't know if this whole love thing is every going to happen (from a significant other), ain't no sense in being alone AND broke. lol

    This was just a question asked out of curiosity to get other views and opinions on two subjects which seem to be in the forefront of most, if not all, major decisions.

    KEEP IT COMIN!
     
    Jaa dapped this.
  27. ColumbusGuy

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    My response was coming from the point of having had love. To know what it is to love someone unconditionally and to br loved back the same way. He died, and along with many people in that situation he was not regretting not having made more money. Maybe with other people it is different, maybe less people(overall, not just gays) are not finding lasting love or will not find it in the future. I don't know.

    It seems bleak to me to be honest, which is sad. I wonder how many people who love are going to even advance into the different stages of love? Again this is really a false binary-it does not just have to be love or money-they come in degrees and are not mutually exclusive. If I had to choose along a continuum where love is at one end and money at the other, I might choose 75% along the way toward love-more love but not 'broke' either. Some may want all the way at money- a millionaire who does not care about love and can buy what physical comfort is needed and does not care about emotional connections. Everyone is different.

    And large quantities of both love and money seem ever more elusive, especially for gays for some reason. How many really rich gays are out there...compared to how many gays in total are out there?...how many gays out there are happy and in love with someone?

    *'love' does not have to be romantic love either. It can also mean the love of good close friends, supportive and loving family members, and the most elusive important one of all-love of self.

    *end of long winding opining post lol
     
    Jaa dapped this.
  28. Fanon

    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2016
    Messages:
    181
    Daps Received:
    265
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kigali, Rwanda
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    Money. I'm not ready for love, but I AM ready for more zeros and commas in my bank account.
     
    Jdudre dapped this.
  29. Luke Evergreen

    Luke Evergreen Squad Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2016
    Messages:
    44
    Daps Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Trinidad and Tobago
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    I have some love, for myself, i think i really want the love of someone else, romantic love, i have family love covered. BUT, i need money to help me love myself, not by overcompensating with luxury shyt but you need money to eat, put clothes on your back and a nice roof over your head. Also i need at least some money to help find and keep romantic love, i can't go on a date and put down some Top Ramen in a plastic bowl for my date to eat, come on! BUT i don't want to go too luxurious to attracts takers and gold diggers, i need to make sure they enjoy my presence and what i have to say, regardless of how much i spend on them.

    Overall: I Need Balance. At this stage in my life, I'm a little more inclined to the money.

     
    Jaa and Jdudre dapped this.
Loading...
Similar Threads - love money Forum Date
‘I had the perfect life then both my husbands died’: singer Labi Siffre on love, loss and happiness Mental, Medical and Sexual Health Feb 28, 2022
Showing Holes Some Love Sex and Adult Dec 1, 2021
WATCH: ZERO (...Interest In Black Love) Movies and Shorts Apr 22, 2021
They Found Love in a Hopeless Place! Dating and Relationships Jan 7, 2021
Masks, gloves don’t stop coronavirus spread: experts Mental, Medical and Sexual Health Mar 17, 2020

Share This Page

Loading...