CA Coming Out Party!

I think more often than not (I say this in reference to the guys that were actually trying to hide their sexuality from the world), the person being told that "so & so already knew" probably couldn't have effectively hidden their sexuality if they wanted to, especially if the person telling them has that "snide snickering grin". I have a younger cousin that we all knew was gay when he was like 5 or 6yo. Lo & Behold, he came out a few years back and... surprise surprise, everybody already knew. I think some guys get so immersed in The Closet that they even manage to hide from themselves certain "give away" mannerisms, etc, that everyone else can clearly see, then when the "Big Reveal" is made, get pissed when people are not surprised. I remember when I left Korea to go back to Ft. Bragg and my best friend (at the time) were leaving some club and he revealed to me that everybody in the barracks back in Korea knew I was gay but didn't give a shit. I didn't get pissed, mainly because I don't have "give away" mannerisms. He let me know the only reason anybody knew was because my roommate found some pornos of mine one weekend when I was away in Seoul, and put me on blast to everyone. (which explained a LOT of actions on the part of my roommate during the year that, in hindsight, I wish I had taken notice of and acted on LOL )
Mind you, I was in Korea for a year and a half almost, and ALL these dudes were like my brothers the whole time I was there. I say all this to say, for those dudes that do get the..."mmpff...I already knew" from people, f#&k 'em. It is what it is. They all knew but never said nothin', so, they also knew not to try test you. LOL

 

I never really thought of my self as being in the closet, I've just always been me and liked boys. The only coming out Problem I guess you could say I have would be at work. Do to the fact that I tend to fall into "not obviously gay" type

 

I think it depends too, My mom said she already knew because she read my text messages after I had an oral surgery when I was 19 years old. My dad on the other hand was completely taken back, one that my mom never told him and 2 he had no idea. I officially came out at 21 and 1/2 my college roommates said they suspected something (since I was always disappearing) but the other had no clue. I think for some men, they simply can't pass because of their personality or other attributes and some men the idea never presents itself until it does.

 

I feel like even though I "Came Out" at 14, there's still always potential for that awkward, slightly condescending, probably innocent question of "Wait, are you gay?" I don't even think I've addressed my sexuality in person since sophomore year of high school. I told my two best friends and my mom on purpose and everyone else sort of found out through them. All of a sudden every girl wanted to make me their pet at school. My mom on the other hand had bigger fish to fry and told me to stop coming in her room after she's gone to bed. I've never received confirmation that my matriarch grandma knows, and I'm pretty sure she's cool with never telling me she knows. And then there was this one time a fight between me and this yoked straight boy senior year got broken up, to which he concluded with he held back because I was gay--go figure. PS as an adult I really try to steal clear of physical altercations, police, etc now. I think my biggest issue I had to overcome was my mom all of a sudden treating me like a young chaste maiden (to her avail my purity had been soured for at least a year) and practically forbidding me to leave the house for anything other than school and sports. Meanwhile I was trying to convince her that I wasn't all of a sudden weak and most punks wouldn't be able to smell my gay on the bus or train when I was by myself. Still my situation was WAY easier than most.

 

S/O to Texas!!!

 

Wait, are dudes still 'coming out?'

I never really came out. Just started doing my thing in MS. Mama knew early on but it didn't get any real traction of trouble.

Hell its been such a natural part of life that remains discrete.