Where are all the condoms in TV sex scenes?

Discussion in 'Television and Web Series' started by Nick Delmacy, Jul 28, 2017.

Tags:
  1. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    insecure_issa_lawrence.jpg

    Where are all the condoms in TV sex scenes? | theGrio

    Many viewers just couldn’t get enough of HBO’s breakout show “Insecure” starring Issa Rae. Watching her character navigate the journey through love, life and friendships has provided an intersection where blackness meets realness in a way that no show has been able to depict for some time.

    As brilliant as the writing and character development is, there is much left to be desired around the narrative of sexual interactions, responsibility and seeming disregard for safer sex practices on the show.

    “Insecure” brings many things to the table, but the sex scenes are enough to leave even the most comfortable in their sexual practices breathless. Take for example the infamous studio scene where Issa cheats on Lawrence with her “what if” guy Daniel. Within moments of working on music together, Daniel was fully naked and thrusting into Issa for all to see.

    Then there’s Issa’s BFF, Molly, and her love interest, Jared. When Molly woke up from a hangover in Jared’s apartment after a night of getting hammered, the scene quickly moves from talk over a morning bowl of cereal to Molly getting it from behind.

    This type of sexual interaction continued throughout the season, oftentimes shocking and seemingly coming from nowhere. Molly invites Jared in for dinner, back shots on the kitchen counter. Issa goes ring shopping with Lawrence, flashbacks to back shots in the studio. Issa comes in the apartment looking for Lawrence, to find he isn’t there.Scene flips to Lawrence giving back shots to the bank teller.

    All of this is for the making of great (and sexy) television, but at what cost?

    We often times hold the media to a high standard around the depictions of topics that we feel need to be held to a “moral” standard for the viewer, based on society structures around what “sex” should look like. But does this mean that media has an obligation to its viewers to promote better sex practices?

    When we have intimate conversations about sexual health and responsibility among our friends and family, we are talking to a very narrow audience in comparison to the millions of viewers many shows like “Insecure” could reach with that very same messaging. Messaging that could help provoke those same conversations in more places where traditional outreach efforts have failed to reach.

    Yet it is just as important to show the lived experience of those who partake in “riskier” sex, is it not?

    Speaking in my own truth, I enjoy sex. I enjoy sex without condoms, and although the preference would be without, I also engage in sex with condoms based on my partner’s preference. As a person working in the healthcare field, however, I also understand the importance of providing proper access, resources and lived examples of the promotion of better sexual health practices.

    I am often placed into an interesting corner with the work I do as a “do as I say, not as I do” when dealing with conversations around this interaction. It is interesting in media depiction of the “zero to 100” sex scenes how safe sex never seems to come into play, nor the discussion around it. I also have to remember that if “art imitates life,” then media may be showing the truest depiction of how the quickie situation actually goes down vs. the “sexual accountability” conversations we would hope to happen prior sex.

    I at first thought that I would truly be at a crossroads with this one; however, upon further review of the subject matter I feel it deserves a look at the totality of media’s depiction of sex at a macro level.So “Insecure” doesn’t do the best job of showing safer sex practices, but other shows like “How To Get Away with Murder” happens to do an amazing job of talking about sexual health, responsibility, HIV, treatment adherence, PrEP and many other conversations partners should have before sexual intercourse – sometimes to the dismay of the viewer and script.

    The contrast in the depiction of sexual behavior in these two shows, for example, points to the importance of showing the full spectrum of sex in media as an education tool that gives a total assessment around the subject. Even porn has changed over the years from an industry that seemed to always depict condoms during sex to one where condom-less videos have a much higher viewership and are produced at a much higher rate than those showing condom usage.

    This conversation even goes a step further into the nature of what a person thinks “safer” sex is versus what we are told it is. Condom-less sex doesn’t always mean “riskier” sex. Condom-less sex is often promoted in monogamous relationships yet shunned in relationships where there may be multiple partners.However, this doesn’t take into account whether these partners are being regularly tested, using PrEP, and having the healthy and necessary discussions before laying up in between the sheets.

    Furthermore, let’s face it, some people just don’t like condoms, and we as a society need to learn to be okay with that.

    Sex sells. Always has and always will. “Safe sex,” however, might not be moving off the shelf in high volumes. I appreciate the contrast in which shows are depicting our sexual behavior. I have come to a full understanding about the depiction of sex in television and film and the totality of the lived experience by all, which can’t be ignored in effort to promote safer sex practices.

    George M. Johnson is a journalist and activist based in the Washington, D.C. area. He has written for EBONY.com, TheGrio, JET, Pride.com, Thebody.com, and The Huffington Post on topics of health, race, gender, sex, and education. Follow him on Twitter: @iamgmjohnson.
     
  2. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,691
    Daps Received:
    15,036
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    It takes like four seconds (the way these sex scenes are edited) to show dude grab a condom and put it on.

    The raw doggin on the show didn't really hit me until last episode when her ex just came up in the house and seemingly cummed in her and jetted out...and she was happy.
     
    SB3 dapped this.
  3. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
    The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    1,060
    Daps Received:
    1,851
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Orientation:
    Asexual
    Dating:
    Single
    I never noticed the sex scenes in Insecure on the level of protection but it is strange that it isnt reinforced. Maybe that is a part on the Insecurity of the show..idk..Jay Ellis cute though....even so, he still gotta wrap it up before he smash these loaves.

    Hmm Im starting to wonder about Insecure now.
     
  4. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
    The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    Daps Received:
    1,658
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Dating:
    Single
    What world are y'all living in? Because Im thinking maybe the show is reflecting REALITY!!!

    Of course risk is involved with unprotected sex. But that don't stop people from doing it. For some time now, team RAW has been more active than team condom. And thats gay or straight. The percentage of people that don't use condoms have been pretty steady at beating out those that do.

    So as far as the shows "responsibility" for pushing a safe sex agenda that (I'm guessing) pretty much 75% of that shows audience don't do, whats the point?

    Im with the show not showing any corny ass trojan magnum grab or wrappers on the ground. Keep that shit as real as fuck for many of the audience members who live that life.
     
  5. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
    The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    1,060
    Daps Received:
    1,851
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Orientation:
    Asexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Haha...but come on just because most of the audience possibly participates in RAW sex doesn't mean others do. That reality is for some, not all. The sex life I engage in is strictly safe whether it be condoms, dental dams or whatever. However, I do understand the nature of the show...some people like raw sex, others don't. If the show wants to really toss out a dose of reality, let one of the characters catch something from their frequent slip ups. I'm sure that will get the forests talking.

    I do agree that it isn't the shows responsibility though but it sure as heck wouldn't be bad either to show that some people still do have protected sex. Something African Americans need to be aware of, more than anyone else possibly?
     
    OckyDub dapped this.
  6. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
    The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    Daps Received:
    1,658
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Dating:
    Single
    Now yes, I do agree with this 100%. As well as I don't find it wrong for a scene to show a sex hook up with a condom storyline also. Just like you state that you engage in strictly safe sex, of course others do also.

    I guess Im basically saying that when you have a show with grown ass consenting adults, of which a couple was once in a relationship and are now ex's, and something very quick and spontaneous happens, don't write in the storyline "hold up" and show him run and get a condom, open it, etc.

    Really? :rudy: Thats just NOT reality for many ex couples and for the demographic that the show is aiming towards.

    Again not saying all, but in doing a numbers game I'm almost positive well over 50% of that audience could relate to that scene with an ex. No condom and all.
     
  7. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
    The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    1,060
    Daps Received:
    1,851
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Orientation:
    Asexual
    Dating:
    Single
    I feel you on that. I know how it can be easy for folks to get caught up in the moment and all. I'd def like to see something of a consequence. Maybe Lawrence catch an STI and finds out Issa gave it to him or the side piece chick..hahha...lmbo.

    This show has the potential to get messy, with pregnancy and all day but may not touch those issues. Hahaha.
     
  8. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,691
    Daps Received:
    15,036
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    Melodramatic over romanticized sex scenes is "keeping it real" but showing folks putting on condoms (even though millions of us use them) is fake? Ok dude.
     
  9. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Yeah I can understand not wanting to show condom use for the sake of recreating fantasies (ie: watching supposed spontaneous sex in porn)...but if you're making a television show that claims to re-imagine the real life everyday dating struggles of Millennials, you should either show condoms or depict the repercussions of not using them.
     
    OckyDub dapped this.
  10. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,691
    Daps Received:
    15,036
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    I don't see why both can't be shown.
     
    Nick Delmacy dapped this.
  11. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
    The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    Daps Received:
    1,658
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Dating:
    Single
    And millions do not use condoms. Whats your point?

    If the act of putting on a condom doesn't fit the narrative of the scene, especially those that were in relationships with the person they had sex with in the scene, I just don't see anything wrong with it. Whether you think is "melodramatic over romanticized" or not.

    Ok, Dude? :whut:
     
  12. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
    The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    Daps Received:
    1,658
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Dating:
    Single
    Im not sure if they ever claimed to "re-imagine the real life everyday dating struggles of Millennials", but if they said that somewhere, OK.

    I take the show as not only "dating struggles'' but displaying career concerns, navigating friendships, emotional insecurity, etc. When you state there should be condoms shown or the repercussions, I agree there can be an opportunity there for that and maybe it will be in the future. The show has only been on for 1 season. But to make it seem like people don't have unprotected sex, really? They do everyday. And a character like Issa, she is a mess. She would definitely be a person who has raw sex with her ex. So who know, maybe in the next episode homegirl is taking a pregnancy test.

    The reality is that while many use condoms and have repercussions from no condom sex, there still are many people who don't use condoms and have no repercussions. I just don't think its the responsibility of the show to promote safe sex in an effort to hope their grown ass audience will say, "oh, since Issa pulled out a condom during that scene. Im gonna tell my boyfriend to do that too".
     
    #12 Omega Level, Jul 29, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2017
  13. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,691
    Daps Received:
    15,036
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    That to me your point didn't make sense. Millions don't but millions do (wear condoms). That's reality
     
    #13 OckyDub, Jul 29, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2017
  14. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,691
    Daps Received:
    15,036
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    While I agree, I would hope (and would expect better from) the writers and directors of the show, who have proclaimed and worn their "wokeness" on their sleeves would do better in regards to the health awareness of their target audience.

    If you on social media and showing love on HIV awareness day with red ribbon emojis but you can't spend 5-10 sec showing condom usage on your show...for me there is levels of hypocrisy there.
     
    Dante dapped this.
  15. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
    The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    1,060
    Daps Received:
    1,851
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Orientation:
    Asexual
    Dating:
    Single
    This might work Omega LMAO! If you go on Twitter you will see a plethora of Gifs of those sex scenes from Insecure and hashtags TeamIssa and TeamLawrence or LawrenceHive.

    It's so funny.

    I even saw a guy post something like "We only giving twelve strokes for the summer to yall." or something to that effect.
     
    OckyDub dapped this.
  16. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Mind you, the original post talks about Insecure, but the point was spread to other shows as well.

    So many films and television shows go out of their way to show more realism and relatable situations but stop short of the consequences of bareback sex. Especially in the Black gay community.

    Granted, even I don't want shows to be so realistic that they take timeouts for characters to go to the bathroom or showing them with indigestion gas after dinner scenes....but something as simple as condom usage, even just implied, is not a tough ask. It may also be a cool scene that shows more insight into the characters. Hell, many TV directors show the characters wearing seat belts in driving scenes, one could argue that is unnecessary too yet they still take the 10 seconds extra to do it nonetheless. Why, because it adds an extra layer of reality to the fantasy they are selling.
     
  17. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
    The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    Daps Received:
    1,658
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Dating:
    Single
    Word? Yea, now thats something to talk about. What was up with that? They were on the couch for 10 seconds. LOL.

    I liked Lawrence ass and stroke tho in the other sex scene. Shit was hot.
     
    Dante dapped this.
  18. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,691
    Daps Received:
    15,036
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    All this right here...:rejoice::lawd:
     
  19. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
    The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2015
    Messages:
    874
    Daps Received:
    1,245
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    First, I hope yall know that in non-pornographic filming, no one is actually fucking/having sex. Beyond kissing, they are "fake fucking/frotting/dry humping"...lol

    And it's very well expected in heterosexual scenes in film and tv not to show condoms or the acting of using them. Some directors and producers in film and tv think just like the producers and directors in straight porn (for the major). They are not thinking about sex education. Shit, some of them still think. HIV is a "gay disease".

    I'm past the personal expectation of film and tv on certain things, bc for the most part, people are just entertaining and looking at getting paid to do so.
     
    #19 Dante, Jul 30, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2017
  20. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Did you read the article? :whut:
     
  21. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
    The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2015
    Messages:
    874
    Daps Received:
    1,245
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Yes and what I said is still valid. You disagreeing is another story.
     
  22. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    How Sway? :what: Your responses had nothing to do with the article or the discussion we had in the comments.

    At what point did anyone say these actors were having real sex while filming? And the article is about touches on multiple reasons why showing real life sex and STI prevention techniques is valuable to the millions of people viewing the shows.

    No one is expecting them to make "a very special episode on the dangers of gonorrhea." All they have to do is show an opened condom wrapper on the floor after the deed is done.

    The idea that that small touch is viewed as oh-so intrusive sex education is likely a reason why many gay guys don't even ask a person's status before they have raw sex with hookups. Most of these young nikka's think their life is a movie anyway b/c cause live through the lens of social media images.
     
  23. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
    The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2015
    Messages:
    874
    Daps Received:
    1,245
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Again, I read the article and made a valid response to it. I respect your disagreement. If you want film/tv writers and directors to start turning sex scenes into safe sex PSAs, you go right ahead and sit in Theater 6 alone waiting for it, especially in Black gay web series. It would be great for safe sex narratives to be incorporated in general sex scenes in film and tv. However, they do not care about all of that. Nonetheless, they should care. But reality shows that entertainment trumps infortainment.
     
    #23 Dante, Jul 30, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2017
  24. OhSheit

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,136
    Daps Received:
    1,595
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Orientation:
    Bicurious
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    Well, this latest episode Issa just fucked a random off a dating app raw. Maybe a pregnancy scare somewhere down the line with Lawrence but I don't see the writers budging anytime soon.
     
  25. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
    The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    Daps Received:
    1,658
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Dating:
    Single
    Yea, she did do that right? I liked the episode. I thought about this thread as soon as I saw it. lol.

    Maybe it just needs to be understood that Issa can be a hoe at times with random dudes going up in her raw. I mean lets be real, its not like thats really unheard of in the real world. :iverson:
     
    OhSheit dapped this.
  26. OhSheit

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,136
    Daps Received:
    1,595
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Orientation:
    Bicurious
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    Wait a sec... Yeah, because it involves mainly the gay storyline of the show. Connor and Oliver were a couple, Connor hoe's freely with no repercussions and Oliver was tested positive for HIV the second they broke up (and I think he got it from his Black rebound, no?), now he's on PrEP.

    STI prevention is a non-issue in heterosexual film/television. A women getting pregnant...now that's easy to tackle and throw in there... tell her she got the clap, ain't nobody tryna hear that. :wtf:
     
  27. OhSheit

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,136
    Daps Received:
    1,595
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Orientation:
    Bicurious
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
Loading...

Share This Page

Loading...