Straight man contemplates hooking up with another dude after sex with the wife turns ‘boring’

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Nick Delmacy, Sep 17, 2017.

  1. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Straight man contemplates hooking up with another dude after sex with the wife turns ‘boring’

    Can a straight man have sex with another man and still be straight? That’s what one guy wants to know.

    In a letter to his local advice columnist, Herald, the man explains that he’s been married to a woman for the past 15 years, but lately things have gotten a little, well, boring.

    “Sex is fine but a bit boring and routine,” he writes. “She’s not into new things or experimenting so we do the same things all the time.”

    But it’s not just that. Lately, the man says, he’s grown curious about what it might be like to sleep with another dude.

    “I’ve been getting more interested in the idea of having sex with men recently and have started going to places to watch men have sex,” he says. “It’s really exciting and I’ve had offers.”

    Now he wonders: “If my wife can’t give me what I want, is it wrong to get it elsewhere?”

    Of course, straight-identifying men being interested in experimenting with other men is nothing new. Numerous studies have been done on this in recent years, including a 2016 study by the CDC that found around 2.5% of straight-identifying men have engaged in gay oral and/or anal sex. A similar study in 2015 found that one in five men reported having engaged in a gay sex act at least once in their lifetimes. Then, of course, there are all those titillating rumors about bro-jobs and dude-sex.

    Now, let’s take a look at Herald’s response…

    “The days of understanding attraction/orientation as binary are long gone, as we now know that orientation is a continuum,” he says. “At one end of the spectrum are the purely same-sex attracted, and at the other are the totally straight.”

    Harold explains that it’s totally normal to “slide up and down the scale at different times in our lives, depending on how open we are to our fluidity.”

    “There’s nothing wrong with gay sex or being attracted to men,” he continues, “but your situation is more complicated than that. You’re married, so going outside the relationship without the agreement of your wife, no matter who it’s with, is not okay. It’s cheating.”

    Harold’s advice: ” Tell your wife how you feel about your sex life and be clear that you need more. But before you do that, take some time to understand your attraction to men because I suspect it may be more than simple boredom.
     
  2. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    He should just get into swinging and call it a day. If he does "try" men, he'll be quick to act like it never happened. His straight privilege reigns on.
     
  3. mojoreece

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    OH sure just tell your wife you want to have sex w/ a man and see how she feels lol.:ravetho: :fantasia::maxine:
     
  4. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I could see a straight dude contemplating getting a side chick, having a side chick, or multiple side chicks if sex with his wife is boring, Contemplating sex with another man? I'm sorry this muthafucka is not straight. He's a closet case bisexual(DL). Straight men don't have sex with other men.
     
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  5. ControlledXaos

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    I'm old enough to understand that sometimes, 'the switch' isn't turned on until later in life. That being said, he's at the point where things are escalating for him. Eventually, he's going to act on the desire. Then, if he enjoys it and the excitement, it's going to be a 'new toy' for him.

    He *should* tell his wife, at the very least, that he needs more from her physically. If she's receptive to it, great, if not, I think eventually he's going to do what his nature wants.
     
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  6. BlackguyExecutive

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    I think it's possible for straight men to have sex with another man and still maintain his straight status. I think we should all know and understand that nothing in this world is all that binary. I know of a lot of men who have had same-sex experiences in adolescents and youth that have gone on to live fully straight lives. The ways in which we have conditioned sex in western culture has done so much harm to us as human beings.

    I don't know if Herald's advice is the best though....so many people both men and women have such restrictive ideas of sex and binary ideas of sexuality.
     
  7. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    We all know that you can have sex with anyone, regardless of your sexuality. But a typical straight man who feels that his relationship is "not fulfilling" isn't going to a man to immediately fill that void. He will either cheat with another woman or invite another woman into the relationship. If going to a man is his first option for needed fulfillment, there's a clear case of suspect, especially having gone to gay clubs "shadowing to find men" and having some definite sexual and physical attraction to men, to say he is at least a 2.8555555 or a 3 on the Kinsey scale. And if so, the "I'm a straight man..." safety net is out the door.
     
    #7 Dante, Sep 23, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2017
  8. ColumbusGuy

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    This is more than 'I am bored with sex with my wife'. And this is more than adolescent 'experimentation' too. He has gone way beyond 'thinking about it'-he has gone one step away from doing it(accepting an offer). He ain't just straight.
     
  9. Champagne Papi

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  10. Champagne Papi

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    ...maybe he’s just sliding up and down that scale? (no pun intended)
    [​IMG]
     
  11. ColumbusGuy

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    Of course. See: prison.

    Can a 'straight' man do this...
    ?

    Nope. He may not be gay, but he sure aint 'straight'.
     
  12. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    Issa NOPE!
     
  13. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    FACTS!
     
  14. Nicholan

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    I think that people get way too caught up with labels. You like what you like! Society has programmed us that "straight" = RIGHT and "gay" = WRONG. With that being said, from the perspective of someone with a newly found interest in the same sex, it probably scares him that he could be labeled "gay."

    ...

    Someone who has consciously been gay their entire life, like myself, is already use to being on the "wrong" side of the spectrum. LOL
    [​IMG]

    With that being said, CHEATING IS WRONG, unless you are in an open relationship. Maybe he should bring the idea up to his wife of bringing a 3rd party into the bedroom and see what she says. Easier said than done, but it is an option.
     
  15. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    The social construct we live in is cut and dry. Unless it is dismantled, gay, straight and bisexual (as primary sexual identifiers, not labels) will always exist.

    Unless you are a woman, you won't get a pass on a weekend trip to forfeit your straightness. And with that, him telling his girlfriend about bringing a man as a third wheel to do him is ultra dead. He might as well tell her he's gay trying to do that.
     
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  16. Jai

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    What I find interesting is that men using the "sex with my wife" is too routine and boring mumbo jumbo is just ugh. Tough titty. You decided to get married and either deal with it or get a divorce. If you're gay, see option two.

    These heterosexuals and their 'oh so destined' Adam and Eve relationships are so annoying... Are things too vanilla for you two now? Do you need Eve to put on a strap on and spice things up?

    I don't mind some labels. My personal opinion is that not having some is a problem. I don't mind identifiers to a degree. I'm gray and DEMISEXUAL but also a mental freak, go figure. I know one thang....straight doesn't equal right, well maybe from the outside looking in through church googles it does but the whole core is all fawked up. These heffas got as much issues as gays but they like to get by with "straight privilege" and all that meh..

    If my rant sounds a lil bouncy I'm talking like this cuz, One: I just got up from a nap and Im a lil cranky and, Two: I absolutely have zero tolerance for cheating. Some folks might think I'm harsh or selfish but if I catch you once, you are gone twice. Outta my sight and outta my mind.
     
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  17. Nicholan

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    LOL. This made me laugh. ^^^

    I love your thoughts on this topic!
     
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  18. SB3

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    Whatever! FOH!
     
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