Straight Women and Situational Homophobia

Discussion in 'LGBT News and Events' started by OckyDub, Apr 15, 2018.

  1. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Remember The Queens Court, that cyberbullying extravaganza popular YouTube show that vintage rapper Khia hosted with her homegirl Ts Madison? You know, the one where the “My Neck, My Back” rapper insulted everyone doing better than her which is the whole entire earth issued “hilarious” court rulings against your favorite urban celebs?

    Yeah, that’s dunzo.

    Things fell apart after a production dispute went full left, climaxing with a 25-minute video rant in which Khia basically dragged Madison—a transgender woman—by calling her a man in a wig.

    This after months sitting in Madison’s house and calling her sister.

    While the black vlog community has spent weeks dissecting Khia’s apparent treachery, I’ve been busy filing my nails.

    That’s because as a founding member of #TeamRainbow, I’ve been around long enough to recognize this same old pattern in which straight women befriend queer men and trans women, then show their entire ass when conflict arises.

    Excuse me while I aggressively wave this Mahalia Jackson fan in the air.

    If we ever want to mend rifts between the Rainbow Tribe and the Straights (and straight cisgender women and queer men especially), we need to start having an honest conversation about this dynamic. That involves holding all parties accountable, from the straight girls guilty of opportunistic friendships to the queer folk who enable their own exploitation.

    Of course, queer folk and straight folk can and do have real, healthy friendships every day.

    But today we’re talking about the vicious draggings so many queer men and trans women in particular have endured privately and in public at the hands of cis women they called friends.

    Ts Madison is just the latest casualty.

    The drama stemmed from a February Queens Court interview with comedian Mo’Nique. Problems with sound and recording led a frustrated Khia to roll out halfway through the live-cast show, leaving Madison literally crying in front of an online audience of thousands.

    A hot stankin’ mess.

    Soon both Khia and Madison posted videos explaining what led to the implosion. Except Khia’s videos got ugly fast: They started with her blaming Madison for hiring “sissies and punks” to handle production and hit peak ignorance when she called the trans woman “Mandie the Man Whore”—purposely overpronouncing “man.”

    She even tossed in a few “My Hotep friends told me not to mess with y’all gay asses” for good measure. As one gay vlogger recently put it, a queer man can be a straight woman’s best friend until he makes her mad. Then he’s just a faggot.

    This ain’t new.

    Just reference The Real Housewives of Atlanta, which has a long history of queer sidekicks, and an equally long history of homophobic comments when the shit hits the fan. Y’all may recall that this was blamed for the departure of Miss Lawrence, who complained about being a token gay person on a show where “the first time an inflammatory situation arises, the first thing that comes out of their mouth is ‘queen’.”

    Why hasn’t this gotten more attention? To start with, people don’t want to believe that cis women can be homophobic. Moreover, it’s easy to write off the occasional “Queen!” as isolated bad behavior, especially when these women so clearly love the Gays.

    After all, they adore their style and their makeup tips and their slang. I mean, that’s love, right?

    Yeah, screaming, “Yass, honey!” and keeping a few queer boys around to beat your face doesn’t mean that you love, appreciate or even respect the Gays, any more than a white supremacist wearing Jordans loves the Blacks. It just means you tolerate them as long as they have something to give you.

    A great lightskint man once called that fake love. Better known as bullshit. Better known as high-key phony with a dash of cultural appropriation that’s mind-boggling considering that this is one minority group accessorizing another.

    That speaks to the role that queer folk play in this. Khia has clapped back, saying that we only yell homophobia when it’s convenient. She’s right on one front: We need to start calling out homophobia the instant it starts, not just when it reaches a boiling point or when circumstances are no longer favorable to ignoring it.

    Ts Madison sat next to a woman who called queer people snapdragons and other slurs for months and did nothing. Was she blinded by the coins or the potential thereof?

    Maybe it’s time for Madison and all of us to consider the cost to our dignity.

    Where do we go from here? If you’re Khia and Madison, apparently it’s to your separate corners. After a failed attempt to revamp, they’ve called it quits and moved on. Well, kind of: In one of her latest videos, Khia shifts gears from anti-trans to anti-lez, accusing a reality-show star of “bulldaggin’.” Just in time for Women’s History Month. That’s beautiful!

    For the rest of us, I’m hopeful that this episode can spark a conversation that can lead people, gay and straight, to recognize and reverse their harmful patterns.

    And If you don’t like the Gays, that’s fine—just stay your not-liking-us ass out of our salons, makeup chairs, homes and everywhere else we beez around. Don’t worry, we’ll be OK!

    https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.co...ituational-homophobia-or-when-quee-1823740255
     
  2. Cyrus-Brooks

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    This is a perfect example of why I think most straight black women are just as homophobic as most straight black men. The only difference is they're willing to tolerate the company of effeminate gay men when it suits them.
     
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  3. takeyourmeds91

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    Those be the same chicks that turn around and tell you that you're too fine to be gay...
     
  4. Cyrus-Brooks

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    Bingo!
    hes-right-you-know.jpg
     
  5. jusrawb

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    This topic is definitely not talked about enough. The straight females can be just as bad or if not worse than straight males.
     
  6. ControlledXaos

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    This is why I keep straight women at a certain length.
     
  7. Dante

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  8. SB3

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    I mean...effeminate men are like accessories and/or pets to many of them. Personal cheerleaders. These women get to be the 'baddest (see: only actual) bytch' in their circle and be put on pedestals, w/o having to worry abt them stealing their men.

    Whats even crazier to me is how underground/ballroom gay culture has just let these straight hags run off to the bank w their lingo/style/creativity. But hey, I guess anything goes to be able to be one of Tamar/Nene/____ good jesters...i mean, Judys.
     
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  9. Cyrus-Brooks

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    For straight women being "girl friends" with an effeminate gay man is all upside and very little downside. They get girlfriend who will cheer them on right or wrong, give them advice, tips on clothes hair and makeup. They get some to use an emotional dumping ground when their lives or relationships(particularly with a bf, baby daddy, or husband) is going to shit. They pretty much get all the benefits of having a guy in the friend zone without any pressure for sex.
     
  10. SB3

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    And a 'girl friend' w/o the threat of said gf trying to 'take' her man.

    Ask any of those females what/when her 'gay's' (cus they're like pets, lil purse dogs, you know) last good date was, and see if she has a clue. It's crazy what some dudes will sacrifice to be one of the girls.
     
    #10 SB3, Apr 18, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2018
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  11. takeyourmeds91

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    You THINK she don't have to worry about getting her man getting stole.......
     
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  12. takeyourmeds91

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    That's so funny. This is the reverse discussion that was had previously about how some gay dudes love to exclusively be around straight guys at the expense of being fully accepted.

    What are we going to do?
     
  13. SB3

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    Thats a whole nutha convo...

    But what i will say real fast is that what I think some ppl (myself) like abt being around straight friends is the lack of pretense. Big difference btwn clowning on and with each other, and trying to thinly veil insults all day and keep up w who did it best. And yea, straight privilege may be the reason for the lack of chips on everyones shoulders, but i mean...oh well.
     
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  14. takeyourmeds91

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    YES. Keeping score is exhausting with the gays lmao.

    And I'm about to take an "oh well" attitude too lol
     
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  15. ControlledXaos

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    They also get sex advice from someone with the equipment that they don't have to worry about asking questions with expectations and a personal gay dar detector.
     
  16. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    LOL yall going in.
     
  17. takeyourmeds91

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    Would you play the gaydar for a chick though? I have for my bestfriend that I've known since middle-school but I try to not to do that with other females.
     
  18. SB3

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    Vets on the scene
     
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  19. ControlledXaos

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    Only if they are blood relatives. My cousin's oldest child is engaged to some dude who gives me the "he meah aroun" vibes by his look and photos but I have never met him IRL. But I have bad gaydar so I wouldn't say anything to her unless I knew for a fact beyond a shadow of a doubt.

    I have very little interest in hanging out with or talking to straight women who are not related to me anyway . I have a few females that I have known since grade school but we're not close. And I'd not give them any free advice or detection services
     
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