Things a dude does that pisses you the fuck off.

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by RolandG, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. RolandG

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    So I've been reminiscing about some of the fucked up things dudes have done to me in the past that got my blood boiling. So I'm talking to this dude now, prolly won't be for long, and he's doing a couple things that have definitely raised red flags.

    [​IMG]

    For instance, we can have a long text conversation sometimes and he might respond kinda rapidly but if I ask to meet up, he suddenly goes missing, only to hit me up the next day on a totally different topic. Or, If I send a text message with a couple things in it, he'll only speak on the thing I least care about. For instance, this morning I texted him, "Aye, what you got going on today? Seems like the weather is supposed to be good. Wanna meet up at the park and do some frisbee or something? His reply: "Yeah man, the weather is supposed to good summer weather?" Of course he ended it with a LOL. Why can't you just say I don't wanna go to no damn park and throw a frisbee? Shit pisses me off. Of course, I didn't respond to it so he texts me a few hours later asking me what ya doing? I still haven't responded and may not respond.

    What are some things guys do that grinds your gears?
     
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  2. takeyourmeds91

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    Let him go bro - I was literally in your same situation until about a week or two ago. I summed the dude up to just wanting attention. I talked to a good friend about the situation and my friend basically told me that I was getting gamed. When I thought about it, he was right. I also think about what Nick said a couple weeks back in a discussion, "I don't want a pen pal." I"m not about to sit up here and drag this stasis out forever. If somebody wants to seriously get to know you, you'll know. After the age of like 25, we shouldn't be communicating with no goal. Could it also be possible that he's dating someone else?

    Move on bro.
     
  3. ControlledXaos

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    He's just not that into you.

    If you are not going to call him out on him pussy footing around why he doesn't reply to you meet up requests, stop texting me him and keep it moving. I say to call him out on it because it's possible he's aloof but I'm thinking he's not trying to hang out.
     
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  4. Lancer

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    This simple sentence is SO TRUE! I go through the same thing with dudes. They will completely ignore a message and only answer what they want. I just quit and and say the sentence above to myself until it sinks in and I delete his #.
     
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  5. Lancer

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    Things that guys do that grinds my gears;
    1. Don't keep to their word. eg say they going to do xyz, but then they don't and then get mad at you for asking them why they did not do what they said they will do. I wholeheartedly believe the expression 'A man is only as good as his word'.
    2. Leave me on 'read', then two days later reply with 'sorry just remembered your msg'.
    3. Cancel 1hr to a date/meet up with some lame excuse.
    4. Act all into you when they see you or when you guys hangout but as soon as you apart, its all radio silence or one letter replies 'k'.
    5. Ignore parts of my msg, and only answer parts they want.
    These are just a few...lol
     
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  6. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    To be honest, the actions of dudes don't really get me to "grind my gears" territory...especially if they are randoms or dudes I haven't met in person yet.

    But if we're just talking about Pet Peeves, then all of what has already been mentioned applies. I'll add a few:

    1. Being silent and unresponsive during foreplay and coitus...I like being aggressive and move based on the feedback I'm receiving, when they are silent and just lay there, it messes up my flow. This directly corresponds to-

    2. Not reciprocating during sex. I've heard of Tops who don't kiss, suck peen or like anyone going near their rear...but when Bottoms just lay there and don't do anything besides moan and groan, it gets boring and I get soft. Usually that's when an attentive partner will "help" your lil man rise again, but so many dudes I've been with still just lay there. (Granted, I'm referring to the more masculine dudes, the softer guys have no problem with this).

    3. Being attached to the hip or their "Best Friend" at a party or club. I don't have gay friends who go out anymore, so when I get that itch I often go solo. And because I'm not on any dating apps anymore, these are the only opportunities I have to meet men for dating. I like to approach guys when they are off on their own like going to the bar or returning from the restroom. But so many guys become siamese twins with their friends in these spots, so a guy like me who wants to respect relationships doesn't just step to couples and try to holla at the one I like. I remember in that other thread @Lancer said he took the chance and stepped to a guy standing with a group of his friends and just starting caking right in front of them...I couldn't do that. I feel like that adds pressure on the dude and could lead to you being embarrassed if his friends disapprove or you get played in front of them.
     
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  7. ControlledXaos

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    Interesting.

    I have been out in Atlanta flying solo and never got approached by anyone. I would usually stay in one area for a few songs and then move around. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Maybe I wasn't there long enough or late enough? I think getting to the club at 1230 was OK still?

    I blame my RBF.

    But that I think the next time I'm in the club with my friends I'll definitely suggest we break off from the people watching and the spectacle and debrief a little later lol
     
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  8. RolandG

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    I shouldn't mention that fact that I had to google coitus but I'm a better man for it.

    I'm usually solo as well because I only have one gay friend and he stays in the gym practically all day. But I agree that I wouldn't approach a dude who is attached to his friends at a club. Usually that means they're not there for meeting a dude and wanna just have a good time.
     
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  9. RolandG

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    And i'm sure he just wanted attention despite what he was saying. I haven't responded to his last message and don't intend on responding period. More fish in the sea.
     
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  10. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Yeah there's an art to it...the key thing is to appear approachable and to make eye contact. One main indicator I use is eye contact...if a guy is just standing solo and we make eye contact but he quickly looks away no matter how many times it happens, I assume he's just not that into me... This doesn't mean staring, just the second or two lingering gaze that we're all familiar with by this point.
     
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  11. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    This is good advice but these nikkas are immune to being shamed on their flakiness.

    This is a real interaction I had just a couple months ago (blue texts are me) and I still haven't seen the dude since Jan or Feb after multiple plans made even up to last month (all broken by him via ghosting the day of). And this was a dude I had already been talking to off and on for years. I stopped responding to his messages altogether last month after he stood me up once again (hence the post I made about cutting ppl off). I do accept that he wasn't a good choice even on paper and that I have a habit of picking the wrong dudes off jump though.

    sms-flakey.jpg
     
  12. RolandG

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    Yeah, the laughing emoji is normally the kiss of death. It's like they know they're full of shit and now they're just having fun stringing you along. In fact, anytime a dude resorts to emojis when i'm trying to ask an honest question is a red flag.

    My issue is guys are just so fucked up that they get off on doing this. Why is it so hard to just say i'm not interested. Like I said before, my friends tell me that i'm stubborn and try to hard to understand why guys communicate the way they do instead of going based off their actions. I admit that sometimes, even when they're actions indicate they're not interested, I still buy into the bullshit lines they feed me. I've been impatient in the past so it chalk it up to me trying to just go with the flow and not show desperation or me not being judgmental.

    Another thing I know I have to work on is letting dudes back in after they pull stunts like this. Sometimes, I have a problem shutting the door completely so weeks later when they hit me up, I imagine they've come to their senses and realize they made a mistake. 9 times out of 10, they're just bored and either drunk texting me or want attention. Granted, I've never done this for a guy I met months ago like this dude you are talking about @Nick Delmacy. He been ghosting and canceling on you since February? Even I would've told you to let that nigga go. LOL
     
  13. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Well, yes and no. We've known each other for nearly 15 years and have kicked it off and on for for the last 10 (more off than on, though)....but its like you say, we get hot and heavy for about a month or two then he starts flaking and gets ghost...then all of a sudden I get a zombie text saying how much he misses me and so I only remember the good things about him, letting him back in. This was the last time though. Def no regrets, always had a good time whenever we eventually linked up.

    I think a problem you (and I) have is being a bit superficial and going after hot dudes, expecting them to have the attention span and reliability of the no-so-hot boys. This is just based on your past posts about dating models, trainers and actors.

    Thats not to say that the average looking guys can't be flaky as well, but there def is not the same level of disrespect there.
     
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  14. RolandG

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    Wait, but I don't just date the models, trainers and actors. I would prefer a regular dude. At this point, i'm making one of my requirements be that he has to have a little FUDA(Fat Upper Dick Area). LOL He gotta have a little pouch. But seriously, I don't mind a dude with an average body. Hell my body ain't the best on the block. But even the average-bodied dudes, with no car, no place of their own, sick and unemployed have the nerve to have a list of standards. WTF? I mean, I'm beginning to think that a hot body > employment and financial independence. I bet of OBJ came to town with no money, ride, crib, teeth he would still get play. LOL
     
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  15. Nick Delmacy

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    no-shade-refuse.jpg
     
  16. Lancer

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    I also go out 99.9% of the time solo, so I do this with the mindset of 'what do I have to loose?'. It is true that some guys are glued to their friends in the club, and this might hinder other guys from making a move but I don't think they are conscious of this. So I think they would appreciate my boldness approaching the pack, at least in my head. lol
     
  17. Lancer

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    My method, if I am with friends, is get drinks then survey the crowd while using them as over. If I spot a dude I like, I break off from my friends, dance by myself, then swoop in on dude do my thing. Rinse and repeat lol
     
  18. RolandG

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  19. Lancer

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. Nick Delmacy

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    Yeah, that's not to say that every guy who doesn't have as much material possessions and achievements in life should settle for whoever approaches them that has more than them. But many of them do act like they are God's gift to the Gay Community.
     
  21. RolandG

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    Ayyyyeeeee. I forgot to add another thing that pisses me off. Dudes trying to be sneaky. So how bout this one dude tried to figure out if I was ghosting him or not by creating a fake number and texting me from that number after I didn't respond to his text from his real number. He was acting real foul so i stopped replying. I'm quick to reply to a text so people know when i'm not feeling them or i'm pissed because i slow down. He texted me hello a few hours after his original text and of course i never block numbers once i delete a person so i figured it was someone I knew and responded. That nigga gone tell me it's him and he just wanted to know if I was iggin him. LOL Fuck yeah i'm iggin you since you can't act right. From now on, before I delete, i'm blocking and I'm not responding to no more random numbers.
     
  22. takeyourmeds91

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    Yes to all of this.

    Not "sick and unemployed" lmao
     
  23. OckyDub

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    @Nick Delmacy & @ControlledXaos
    I can count on one hand the times I was approached when I was going out. I mostly was the aggressor who approached dudes.
     
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  24. ControlledXaos

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    I don't think I have good aim lol like I'll approach a dude and usually it ends up being very awkward. Like I can pretty much talk to anyone even as introverted as I am because I can focus, but I can tell early if someone isn't interested and just kinda "ok well catch you later"

    However I just wish other dudes were as perceptive as I when I'm not interested in them. I don't be like "muh fuh will you get the hell up out my face?? "eventthough that's what I am thinking, but some guys don't get the hint or they're very persistent and I'm really A nice dude who doesn't want to hurt folks feelings. Lol but hell, I'll lacerate someone's feelings if I have to.
     
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  25. alton

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    I concur with everything you mentioned, Nick. Especially the quiet/ inactive sexual partner. I remember one dude I messed around with a while back, was quiet as a church mouse the whole time (foreplay only) and had busted but I didnt even notice because the muhfuka made NO noise. He was clearly into it judgin' from his peen, but was just annoyingly quiet. smfh
     
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  26. alton

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    "Like I can pretty much talk to anyone even as introverted as I am because I can focus, but I can tell early if someone isn't interested and just kinda "ok well catch you later"

    My problem is I feel like EVERYONE views me like this, so I purposely limit my interactions with people. I'll do short, spontaneous bursts of convo at work, like 1-2min, then I break out...because of the aforementioned sht, plus I rarely have the same interests as my coworkers so once I get my piece out the awkward silence comes and then I know I have nothing else to contribute so I just go back to my desk. smfh.
     
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