I think it's kind of silly to not want to be with someone based on 1 or two precieved flaws least of all ones that don't really matter nor can they control. I believe we are the only culture in which we believe someone can be too much of who they are. That persons too black, too gay, too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, too light, too dark etc all things people seem to use to cancel out otherwise great people then wonder why all they can get is a nut or a wet ass but can't seem to get love and commitment. I'm all for having standards but people have the prioritization of their standards fucked up.
Best Posts in Thread: Dating Guys That Aren't As "Not Gay" As You Prefer
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If I was dating/younger, I would be open to inbetween guys and even effeminate guys. It is not necessarily effeminacy that gets me. I have met effeminate men who I would consider to be dignified and admirable, even some who I would say would qualify as the strong and silent type. I could deal with a little lisp or a few extra hand gestures if the guy had many good qualities. When it comes to attraction I have a wide variety that I could at least consider attractive, I always have and I am grateful for that
It is the behavior that at least seems to often go along with the effeminacy that I don't like. The extra-ness. The cattyness. The attention whoring, the extreme outright dramatic girlishness is a sign to run away! run away! It is not attractive at all. I understand these guys are probably hurt, but it is a problem when they project that hurt onto others and everyone in these ways.
If 'Living in your Truth' is about being catty, nasty, attention-whoring, lying, treacherous. constantly involved in drama, twirling your hands in everyone's faces like an out of control teenage girl, causing scenes and taking the worst that femininity has to offer and wearing it proudly like a badge of honor, then I don't want any part of your 'truth. -
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I understand. Attraction is more than physical. Voice, mannerism, etc.. and impact your attractiveness.
There was a guy i dated for a minute... nice guy and what I would call naturally feminine.. not queenie. Among other issues, what was problematic to me was the fact that when he drank, he loudly referred himself as a girl ("This Girl...." or "this Bish"). Sorry, no, not sorry. I am dating a man. not a girl or a man who refers to his man-parts as p*ssy or cl*t.
I actually do not think it is discriminating. In my opinion (MY opinion), a lot of that behavior is LEARNED behavior.. that queenieness. it's one thing to be feminine, but the 'Guuuuurl' and "Chiiiile" stuff is just being a queen. Folks are NOT born acting like that.
For some reason, when some men come out and get comfortable like that, they sometimes adapt "common gay" behaviors. If you get the chance, check out "Do I Sound Gay" on Netflix. it talks about that nasal speech tone that "particular" gay men adapt to:
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With some of these guys and their lists, they have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than finding a good relationship. What is wrong with trying something a little different-you might like it.jusrawb, DC., Ishmal and 1 other person dapped this. -
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Dude I know exactly what you are talking about. I think this is one of the main reasons why I'm still single lol. I'm so critical about a guys voice and his mannerisms. I hate this about me, I try not to let it bother me, but it does lol. It really is a turn off for me when I get a fem vibe in their voice, mannerisms, or just how they carry themselves in general. And it really sucks when you see this in a guy that otherwise you are attracted to. I hate it when that crap happens.
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I'm curious to know if any of you have ever dated a guy that seemed almost perfect, but just had one or two things or ways about them that you just couldn't get over. There's one guy I was dating that would be ideal, but I put him in the friend box pretty quickly. Why? He has the voice. lol. I knew it within moments of us sitting down at the bar we initially met at, but kept going out with him cuz he is mad cool and I really have a good time with him. (We haven't had sex, but have been intimate and the head skills are lacking, so that alone is potentially an issue. lol)
Then there's another guy I dated. This was basically one of those guys that always knew he was gay, but was a jock all his life. Looking at him, he's all dude. Nice worked out legs and booty, goatee, swag and all. He's into guy stuff...sports, cars, games, etc., but he's also one of those types that became very comfortable with his sexuality and just kinda "lets his hair down" sometimes. He says "chiiiiile," in a high voice but his voice is deep. And speaking of voice, he has a touch of the voice too that comes out more strongly at times. And I picked up on excessive hand gesturing during conversation.
I kinda feel bad, because I'm not one to discriminate or be superficial and all. But is it ok to just prefer that a dude talks like a "regular" dude and not have the urge to "queen" out? What is an acceptable level of "gay" that you could deal with before its a dealbreaker?mysticalsoul, BrentForays, questforknowledge and 1 other person dapped this.