Best Posts in Thread: Should Grindr filter by HIV Status?

Ive never lasted morw than 5 mins on an app, so my opinion is irrelevant, but I think it's kinda ridiculous. All of this filtering and insta-results mess is a problem to begin with. I get the relationship btwn status and stranger sex, but where do the filters end? This is why grown mofos are socially awkward w new gay men if they're not in the sack.

 

Ok, well first I'll have to call out the author. He only thinks that this filter is ' "THE" most depressing thing ever ' because he's affected by it. Suddenly he's feeling what black, Hispanic, Asian and all sorts of other groups feel when we/they are automatically subjected to prejudice masquerading as "preferences". I wonder what he feels about those filters. He probably doesn't. Oh look, I just answered my own rhetorical question.

Anyways, I'm off that now. What do I think about it? It sounds absurd but then again, more ridiculous things have happened. The more important question is, what are you doing about it? How are you approaching future reationships and sex? I know what I do and I won't speak for anyone else. But I will say this-the people who are forthcoming about their positive status usually don't approach life like they are invincible.

 

I think the author of the article might be mad because he is HIV positive and probably been discriminated against because of his status. I understand his pain. But Grindrs aim for most ppl is to have no strings attached sex/short relationships at least this is what most informally know when using the app. To be honest I think it can be good and bad. On one hand, ppl who are HIV positive will find it easier to find ppl who are open to be in a relationship with HIV positive ppl. On the other hand ppl still lie about their HIV/STD status and sexual history which is dangerous. I think the author would have made a better argument with companies like OKcupid or match.com and chrisitanmingle which are mostly aimed at finding a long term partner.

 

Unlike racial or body type preferences and filters, HIV status disclosure is a legal issue in many jurisdictions. I'm not an app user, but I'm curious as to whether the implementation of such filters could trigger unwanted civil or criminal actions? Maybe, maybe not. 32 states criminalize transmission of HIV, although President Obama has worked to encourage their repeals. Adding such a filter could open up a can of worms if one is knowledgeable about a positive status and doesn't disclose; e.g. a HIV+ dude goes on Grindr, doesn't use the filter and subsequently passes on the virus to hookups. Some zealous (most likely conservative, asshole) prosecutor could make an argument that by not using the filter to disclose status since that would be the expressed purpose of the filter, the person criminally transmitted HIV.

I know the app Mister X encourages voluntary disclosure as they advertise themselves as a mature app for men who own up to or aren't afraid of their own status or others.

 

After dating an HIV positive dude at one point, I'm sympathetic to this guy's views. There is definitely a lot of ignorance and misunderstanding about HIV and I can imagine something like this only contributing to that ignorance. It's better to be able to have conversations instead of just closing yourself off. Nobody is asking anyone to date HIV+ guys, but I think being able to block them automatically might be a little excessive. I know Grindr is mostly for sex, but you never know, maybe you'll miss out on the one time you'd actually be willing to make an exception for someone you otherwise click with. If not, at least allow yourself to get to know someone outside of their status before you decide that it's a dealbreaker.