You're so lucky. I can only imagine the homophobic slurs that my parents would be slinging with their words at the TV. It has been on my mind to come out this year. I can tell that I sometimes feel like I am tired of hiding and I just want people to know. But I am scared of course.
I am happy that I have never faked one relationship in life and I at least got involved with work and extracurricular activities. I always kept myself busy.
I know my parents always wanted me to bring home a Nigerian woman. I wonder how they'd feel if I brought home a Nigerian man... would that make things just a LITTLE bit better as far as their homophobia? Lol.
Best Posts in Thread: Familial (dis)Comfort
It takes time. My partner and I's moms are cool and you may already know the four of us took a trip together this year. My moms and I have had LONG talks over the years. Still people (including our mothers) have their own opinions and views. Deep down I know my mom still feels its a sin and I'm going to hell. I'm still thankful for our relationship.
After watching that Iyanla Fix My Life w the gay pastors coming out, I texted my mom expressing how thankful Iwas that I didn't end up in either of those guys' tragic azz shoes.
I also let her know that my sexuality doesn't ever have to feel like egg shells for her, should she have questions, or whatever.
And she actually admitted to me that there is an element of 'out of sight, out of mind', since we don't, and haven't lived in the same city since I went to college at 18.
She admitted that she doesn't know how she'd feel if I brought a guy home, other than being welcoming, as she'd be w any other friends I'd bring.
This news def took me by surprise, but I guess it's because I never thought about it from her stance, since she never expressed any issues to me. I had to take a step back and think abt the fact that there might be a few more convos to be had in the near future, that I guess, just weren't on my radar.
So, Im just sharing a lil bit of recent real life, and wondering if anyone has anything to chime in with? Anyone cross that possible hurdle of bringing a man home/difficult convos w the fam/etc?
I brought my partner to my parents' home one Christmas (we all live in the same city, so this was just a visit of a few hours, not overnight or several days long). My mother, as always, was welcoming and charming, but my father (who is not a nice person in general, which is why he and I are not close) left the room when my partner walked in. However, far from being a problem, my father's leaving was a relief to everyone there: we were able to have a good time after that. I've always felt that, if my father can't behave, then it's best if he leaves- that way I don't have to get involved in an ugly confrontation (which would have happened had my father been disrespectful to me or my partner). After that, my family and I were able to enjoy ourselves, without my father's negativity. No one else had a problem with my partner or our relationship, other than my father- not my mother or my siblings- so it was better for the one person who did, to remove himself.
By the way, when my partner and I broke up some time later, I didn't tell my mother because I just couldn't break the news to her. However, she eventually figured it out when she noticed I had stopped talking about him. She asked me point-blank if we had broken up, so I had to come clean. So I guess that would qualify as a difficult conversation LOL