Best Posts in Thread: He's sticking to me like Clingwrap and I'm over it

  1. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Just seems like to me that the other guy is showing what type of person he is and what his needs are from the start. Especially his level of excitement. It appears that the feelings and personality types aren't mutual.

    Being self employed, I literally work everyday, but if I met a dude who I was really digging and was digging me so much that he wanted hang out every evening or call/text me...That would be cool with me. The key thing is, if I were digging him too.

    If I was busy one evening, I would say that. If I wanted a night to chill to myself, I would say that. Not really sure what the problem here is unless the other guy is stalking him or showing up at his door unannounced on a daily basis.

    Maybe I've dated so many guys who were on the far opposite end of clingy (getting them to meet up in person or return a text is like pulling teeth) that now I welcome a person showing extreme interest, LOL.
     
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  2. Sean P

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    I don't think it's a question of being old school in the world of modern dating. Some of us appreciate a level of independence and breathing room while others don't mind being attached at the hip. When two people with different needs meet and get to know each other, they will need to compromise if things are to move forward successfully. I'm like @takeyourmeds91. I occasionally need some breathing room so that I have a little time to appreciate you (and sometimes to simply live inside my head).
     
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  3. takeyourmeds91

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    Yea, I'm going to talk to him tomorrow - I don't have the energy today lol. And you're very right - if he's not down with it then fkc it, i'm not looking for a man anyway

    He's 26 and does have a job but not necessarily a career. Your guess is as good as mine at this point about hobbies haha. I think he just needs to find him some business - something to keep him busy. While we're on the subject, a man that has too much time on his hands is very unattractive. It's cool to chill sometimes but you need to be continuously working on yourself.
     
  4. takeyourmeds91

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    This is all I'm saying! It's hard bc I don't get a lot of time to myself so I'd rather not have ALL of it consumed with having to entertain. I really do like the guy - just give me a chance to miss you hahaha

    Update: Discussed my feelings with him and he understood so we'll see what his actions show
     
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  5. takeyourmeds91

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    Update: I pretty much ended it yesterday. It was starting to be waay too much. It ended with him asking what can he do to make it work in a way that I need. Honestly, I just need complete space. Great guy and would be amazing if I was in that head space but I have way too much going on in my life at the moment.
     
  6. Nigerian Prince

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    What I've learned about myself over the past month since meeting more guys and going out on a few dates is that I value my space and I like when the guy I am seeing has his own life just like I do. Then after we do our thing solo, we can come together.

    Like @acessential said just be straight up and see how he takes it and if he is not understanding of your grind then chunk up the deuces like Chris Brown, Tyga & Kevin McCall!!!
     
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  7. acessential

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    If you like the dude, I think you need to be straight up with him. There's nothing wrong with setting up expectations. It's okay telling him straight up that you have things to do during the day, so at most, he can probably get a 30 minute phone call at the end of the day. And if not that, maybe every other day. If he's mature enough, he'll understand and roll with it. But if he doesn't like the setup, then you're probably better off without him.

    Now, if you're really not feeling the clinginess and don't want to be with dude, you gotta be honest about that too. Dude has all the butterflies right now and he'll think everything's perfect unless you tell him otherwise.
     
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