Best Posts in Thread: Sexual roles

I could, but I'm weird. I don't think most could. I'm more interested in other things instead of making sure you can dick someone down or take dick. The way I see it I'm not going to be fucking when I'm using a walker and falling over and shit. I need someone that'll help me up not pound me further into the floor.

 

So I have a question for well I guess everyone. Would you be able to be in a relationship with someone that is the same role sexually as you? Why or why not? For the vers dudes a.k.a. Divergents would you be able to be with someone that is not vers? I could date someone that is the "same role" but I think that's only because I don't need to deal with penetration in order to enjoy sex. Then again I could be damn near asexual. I don't necessarily see the point in placing sex as a top priority when we can get that at any point in time from anyone.

 

At this point in my life, I don't think I can truly be with anyone who's a total anything. I truly believe that with your partner you should be open to and try almost anything (within reason). That's not to say you'll like it, but you won't know until you try with that person. I'm a true testament to not liking something with one person, and loving it with another, but I'm all about connection.

Now, have I been in situations with a total __, of course, but I was never quite fulfilled. Do I have a preference, absolutely, but I need options lol. (Even though I've said all this, I can renege on all of it for the right one LOL)

 

Not an issue. I've had relationships with individuals where there was not anal penetration. There is SO much you can do sexually besides that that is incredibly pleasurable. I think those situations push you to be more creative in giving and receiving pleasure.

I did notice that the longer we were together comfort levels and intimacy increased, the discussion of exploring the penetrative option started to come up... but not doing it was NOT a deal breaker.

 

I just want to pop my head back in here and just say that this thread is awesome! I am surprised to see or read that guys on here that are open to alternatives in a relationship. I didn't know their were guys "open minded" like this. Especially, my bruthas.

Also, I am almost done listening to the Bottoms podcast and it is a eye opener. I am so glad that I found this site. I really don't have any close gay friends. Besides my ex and two other dudes that's about it. The two guys, I don't associate with much because our lifestyles are too different. I don't really talk to my ex because the breakup is still fresh for me (even though it's been a year).

I don't really like gay men based on past situations. I feel sometimes that the only thing that I have in common with most is that we are sexually attracted to the same sex. I have felt that most gays are shallow, messy, and only focused on celebrities. I don't have tolerance for that. So, it's good to be able to come on here and this fulfill a need in me. It also is dispelling those stereotypes, that I have attached to the men in our community.

I will venture out slowly and try to meet other gay men (black men particularly) for friendships. Sorry everybody for the essay I just wrote, a brutha should have majored in English. I had to get this shyt off my chest. Alright, I am going to step back out.

Thanks guys.

 

I could date a dude that was the same "role" as me. I'm vers so it wouldn't be a deal breaker for a dude to be either a bottom or a top. Now if they say they don't give head...

 

Oral sex is sex...it has the word "sex" in its name...

If I can catch a Sexually Transmitted Infection doing it, its sex.

If I were dating a dude and we went to a party where it was discovered that he "only" had oral sex with everyone in the room in the past, not penetration....I would still think he had sex with all of them...

 

Sir the previews are sometimes the best part! I refuse to miss them and will be tight if I do!

 

I think everyone should try it at least once. You never really know until you do. There's a lot of factors in whether or not you can have a successful relationship with someone who plays the same role. The main thing is both parties have to be willing to step out of their comfort zone.

 

I understand where you're coming from....I don't want my exploration to be stifled and be limited to a certain role by someone who has a strong preference for a certain role.

This is going to sound silly, but, I wish I already had sex at a younger age. I feel this whole virginity thing at my age just makes dating even harder and more stressful for me.

 

I could be with someone who was the same position I was. I'm not hung up on penetration as much either. I tend to be attracted to more dudes who share my preference so I know there will have to be some compromise there. I have gotten plenty of people (dudes and females) off and not had to penetrate...

 

Lol hold up. So if you're not up in those guts you are just friends? You can be intimate and not be plowing someone. Basically, there are people out there that don't like to do either and probably feel pressured into doing one or both because of the way most people are wired. It's interesting.

 

Divergents? lol!!

That's a great question, I think I'm in a unique position where I don't exactly know what my sexual role is because I haven't had any yet so sometimes I wonder how much of a problem that might be down the line. If I'm with a guy and he's expecting me to be a certain role I might not enjoy I don't think I'd care as much as he would because he's already used to one thing. I agree with you that sex isn't the most important thing, but I get why others like to know these things early on though.