A Text Book Example of Toxic Hyper Masculinity

Discussion in 'LGBT News and Events' started by OckyDub, Jul 13, 2016.

  1. JohnDoe

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2016
    Messages:
    156
    Daps Received:
    185
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Africa
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Hold on. It's only taken as the "official" narrative because alternative voices are invisible or quiet.
     
  2. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,479
    Daps Received:
    14,823
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    OR marginalized, pushed aside, called fake, acting straight, and self hating because they aren't fem nor subscribe to the culture.

    How is having a website and producing podcasts for 5 years being invisible or quiet?

    If Cypher Ave (in its current platform and technical appearance) was like all the other Fem leaning Black Gay Websites and forums, this website and its membership would be through the stratosphere.
     
    SB3 and alton dapped this.
  3. ColumbusGuy

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    But WHY are they invisible or quiet? Because they would be vilified by the ones who control the narrative, and face unique problems (and possible a greater backlash) because they could be seen as more of a 'threat' to the black community because they are not as visible and easily identifiable-they might be labeled and blamed as 'DL' or even likened to spies. Many people want to know the gay people around them-to be able to spot them and identify them. They may feel threatened that they cannot do this, and the 'less clockable' gay men could face a particular backlash.

    Also there is a reason there is not a white equivalent to Cypher Avenue. The White Elite gays who set the agenda-which is again about 'queerdom' and can be hostile to views about masculinity(or anything that is against their agenda) is too powerful and would crush such a site. The black gay community that decides the narrative has not coalesced and strengthened to the point where it can do that IMO.

    The stronger, more well funded, more accepted and powerful and included an organization is, the more power it has to crush opposition within groups that the organization represents.
     
  4. JohnDoe

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2016
    Messages:
    156
    Daps Received:
    185
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Africa
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    Not looking
    My original assertion stands. @Ockydub there are more 'unclockable' guys than 'clockable' men, yet this minority is dominating the 'gay agenda' because the majority is too busy peddling the views of the heterosexual community as it's own. I would say Cypher Avenue is the exception that proves the rule on visibility. @ColumbusGuy you're absolutely right. The biggest challenge for the 'unclockable' community is the conventional straight community NOT the gay community. As @Ockydub has noted many times on the podcast the gay community has a complicated relationship with masculinity. I believe the current bifurcated status quo is optimal for both parties. It's incumbent on the 'unclockable' community to embrace their 'clockable' brothers not the reverse.
     
    #39 JohnDoe, Jul 25, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2016
  5. SwagJack

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    45
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2015
    Messages:
    154
    Daps Received:
    297
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Dating:
    Single
    That's implied. The fact that effeminate does not equate to "gay" is not something most folks can wrap their heads around.
     
    JohnDoe dapped this.
  6. TreDaDon

    TreDaDon King To Be

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2016
    Messages:
    48
    Daps Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ridgeland
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    You're right, I guess I meant every few weeks or months, not days. I enjoy the articles because I don't mind reading things written by people who share a different viewpoint than I do. I actually like it because it expands my thinking in ways I could never do by just being exposed to things exactly in my own paradigm.

    I wasn't necessarily speaking about a crime where someone is attacked because their perceived to be gay because of the way they walk, talk or dress. I was speaking more to people who want to vote on laws or write legislation that discriminates against gays in broader ways. I was speaking about the hatred that people have when you say the word gay. They don't care if it's two gym rats that are buff & masc or if it's two fems or some combination....they hate they idea of gay men or lesbian women or some other lgbtq individual being protected from job, housing or adoption discrimination because they have moral issues with those of different sexual orientations.

    The race stuff is much deeper. I've noticed for decades that when I'm watching a game the white commentators seem to praise white athletes as if they're God's gift to a league but the black players literally have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition. Some white parents would rather their daughters marry a poor & struggling white guy opposed to Daquan the multimillionaire. That to me is a blanket issue with race and not even considering the person. That's the relationship I was attempting to compare.

    And I agree with you about the Black Lives Matters/Blue Lives Matters comparison. There's no doubt that blue lives matter, but blue lives have not been systematically targeted and made to feel like hunted animals with a need to be fearful just for driving or walking down the street. And if so, that kind of comes with the territory or being law enforcement. I have a right to be black and feel safe and not feel like I might not make it home just because of the color of my skin.
     
    Winston Smith dapped this.
  7. TreDaDon

    TreDaDon King To Be

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2016
    Messages:
    48
    Daps Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ridgeland
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    I don't have a problem with the site, I wouldn't be here enjoying it if I did. This was just something I noticed. Maybe I'm wrong, that's a definite possibility. It's all about perception. I feel a site like this is completely necessary. There needs to be a place where guys who don't identify with things we mostly associate with femininity are able to learn that there are others like them that don't conform to the stereotypes most people have about gayness. If they want to write fem bashing articles every day all day, it's their site and their right. Is that their total agenda here? No, I don't think so at all. But a pro-masculine site by it's nature isn't fair and balanced. There are plenty of sites for people who are looking for the celebration of all things fem.

    If I offended the creators of the site or the readers by stating my opinion, I apologize for that. I'm just telling you what I perceived and again my perception could be completely off.
     
  8. TreDaDon

    TreDaDon King To Be

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2016
    Messages:
    48
    Daps Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ridgeland
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    For me it was just personal growth. It started with a guy I took accelerated classes with in middle school. He was very fem, flamboyant, loud & just out there when I was filled with doubt & self-hatred. One day we were on the floor acting out the roles of Julius Caesar & he kept looking at my crotch and smiling. I yelled out "what the fuck are you looking at dude?" Got in trouble behind it, blamed him in my head. But it bothered me that he seemed so free with himself and who he was. All I knew of gay at that point was guys who were sissies or dressed up like women & I didn't understand that a man could have the feelings I had towards men & not turn into that somehow. I just avoided him. Fast forward to college & we had a class together. Guys were subtly flirting with me but I was so fucked up in the head you would have had to put it out there plainly for me to react unless you were on my radar. So guys are getting drunk asking me to go running or workout with me, or study together and getting too touchy feely, saying more than they meant to & I'm just acting oblivious to it & not paying attention to the fact that they go out in rainstorms and mud wrestle (hundreds at a time) looking like some kind of mass orgy and exploring their sexuality in the most no homo ways possible.

    But this dude was still himself, always fem, always smiling and he was nice to me even though I'd been cruel to him. The only thing I can say is I saw his humanity & felt ashamed that I disliked somebody for being who they are. I apologized for how I treated him & he asked me what my problem had been and why I was so nasty to him. I told him flat out it was because I was ashamed of the part of me that I knew we shared in common, our sexuality. We talked through it and actually became really good friends. We've fallen out sometimes over the years but he's a great guy & I appreciate having him in my life. I was just immature & insecure about who I was when I was younger. I can't speak for issues anyone else may have with the whole masc/fem thing. Growing up & living in the south I just wasn't exposed to that much outside of what I read or saw in the media. Every real life voice I heard though told me it was wrong & I just didn't want to be associated with that at all.
     
    JohnDoe dapped this.
  9. Comment Imported From Main Site

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2015
    Messages:
    251
    Daps Received:
    148
    "the problems people here tend to have with femme gay black men is not that they are necessarily femme, it is the negative behaviors that seems to go along with femme gay men(a broad generalization of course) and the official 'viewpoint' of black gay men, the narrative of black gay men, being determined by femme black gay men." Ocky, you appeared to strongly co-sign that sentence especially the last part. Since you have such a big problem with femme gay black men determining the official viewpoint (narrative) of black gay men, you should put your own "narrative" (whatever it is) out there. But in order to do that, effectively, you have to "come out". I understand that you are about 40 years old and if you haven't come out by 40, you probably never will. I just don't think you can change this so-called narrative you're so dissatisfied with without coming out and putting your own "truth" out there. There are black gay men of all kinds on You Tube, for example, telling their stories/truths (like Walter Hampton, a masculine "out" black gay man). Ocky, you could be one of them but you choose not to be. My guess is that if you become frustrated enough with the status quo regarding the narrative for black gay men, as you see it, you'll make a move. PS: Femme or "clockable" gay black men, like the black gay man who was viciously slurred and had a gun pointed at him in the video, are the VICTIMS of homophobic abuse all the time in black or predominately black hellholes. What we all saw in the video is the daily reality for femme gay black gay men. Let's keep that front and center in this conversation.
     
  10. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
    The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    40
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2015
    Messages:
    874
    Daps Received:
    1,245
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    What the hell are you talking about? Lol Ocky is not on the DL/In the closet. What made you think that from his statement?

    Plain and simple, feminine gay men have set the tone for the "face of being gay". And with that has fed homophobia/biphobia, internal homophobia/biphobia and blatant ignorance to human sexuality, in general. That is a BIG problem from the roots.

    I don't comprehend the angle of Ocky you stated and where that is coming from.
     
    OckyDub dapped this.
  11. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Daps Received:
    5,401
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Obviously "fem" and "masc" dudes both catch different grief for different reasons, especially among black folk. It's not anti-fem prejudice to point out that black masc viewpoints are sublimated by mainstream straight and gay media. Nor is it wrong to point out masc dudes catch special kinds of brief because we don't "scan" as "stereotypical gay" which puts some straight males in a panic; if they can't "sort us out" from the general "gay population" it threatens their fragile masculinity to think we might walk among them, in work, gyms, military, etc. (someone should do a gay horror parody and call it "The Unclockable").

    This early episode of "All In The Family" addressed the whole fem/masc gay thing decades before it was even on most folk's radar, let alone general LGBT issues. Archie is doubly shocked to find out his ex-NFL, sports loving bar buddy is gay as opposed to his son in laws effeminate and foppish friend who is actually straight. His reaction at the bar (18:00 into episode) is something I can relate to, as most black folk in my life have the same reaction to me and other masc gay/bi bros
     
    alton, OckyDub, JohnDoe and 2 others dapped this.
  12. ColumbusGuy

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Walter Hampton is an example of a 'masculine identifying' black gay man who has the same negative qualities that are associated with the femme gays- he is hardly someone to look up to-he is very 'messy', judgemental, 'outing' people, spreading gossip, etc. When masc gay men come out they often get hell from the femme gays(who is he fooling, he is a acting, he ain't masc, he hates himself, he is in denial, etc. etc. etc.) and also exposes himself to the same hate that comes from straight anti-gay bigots.

    I also think that 'White America' prefers 'femme' black gay men because they are seen as less threatening-another hurdle for a black masc guy to deal with. It is difficult to make that choice to deal with all of that-a choice that 'clockable' gay men do not have to make-the choice is made for them and they are 'known' whether they want to be or not. Would the 'clockable' femme gay men hide if they could? It is not really fair for femme gay men to criticize gay masc men who are not clockable for not getting the same amount of outright discrimination if the femme gays would choose the same thing -if they could.

    I think this site is overall much more 'pro this' than 'anti that' also. It is also telling that some of the worst anti-femme actions and behavior come from femme gays themselves-particularly the 'extra' ones who are particularly adept at tearing each other(and anyone else) apart-no holds barred, anything goes.

    I just don't think that this site is anti-femme. Yes sometimes things are said(nobody or no thing is perfect) but the tone and focus is not on being 'anti-femme' and there are more attacks on 'hypermasculinity' and how it destructive than any occasional 'backhand' comment someone might make 'such as doing the gay voice' or writing in the 'gay way'(GURRRL, Ima gonna drag you to the filth, HUNTY)-which again is not just about being 'femme' as these comments are usually about the 'extra' femme gays-not femme gays in general. JMO.

    *I commented on this because the first part of what you posted was something I wrote. Also I would add that the 'narrative' is being mostly written not just by femme black gay men, but 'extra' femme black gay men. The same is true (but to a lesser extent) with the white gay narrative, which is pretty much the line of the Gay Elite and their agenda(which is all powerful and why there is not a 'white' version of Cypher Avenue IMO-this white gay elite has enough power to crush any gay media presence that is 'outside' of the 'official white LGBTqueer agenda').

    The black gay community does not have the cohesion, strength, leadership, history, resources, etc. (IMO)to accomplish this as it is less established, has less funding, has fewer powerful allies, and is generally 'not as far along' as it's white counterpart, for the usual reasons( part of which is white domination of wealth and institutions such as the media, and partly(JMO) because of a stronger backlash among straight blacks/hypermasculinity being more prevalent).

    And I am somewhat of an outsider in this so I can only go by what I have been able to gather, and I certainly could be off on some of this I readily admit.
     
    #47 ColumbusGuy, Aug 3, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2016
    alton dapped this.
  13. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Daps Received:
    5,401
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Yeah, I've seen Hampton. Like Kanye West, he is a prime example of someone who needs access to behavioral health therapy not social media. Writer Rafi D'Angelo is an example of an intelligent fem brother I dig. His "femness" is just his natural personality and he definitely doesn't engage in the "gay sambo" stuff that a previous CA thread cited.

    And I agree that CA isn't anti-that, just pro-this. Both masc and fem dudes have outliers who have psychological needs that need to be addressed, whether it's the snap-queen on the fem side, or the hyper-cisgender-presenting butch masc guys whose concept of masculinity is so easily fractured like some straight guys.

    Instead of no fats/no fems, my personal motto would be no drama/no bullshit/no morons (fem or masc)
     
    JohnDoe dapped this.
  14. ColumbusGuy

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    I should have said 'extra' femme gays or 'extra' gays...because I do believe much of the issue is not just about femme vs masc, but 'extra' vs 'not extra'. Being 'extra', the extra femme gays are going to make sure they are heard loud and clear and will dominate the discourse and the reaction to masc gays-and the narrative of black gays.

    Look at the video of Jacob Kohinoor and friends discussing masculinity-the blonde dude who seemed the most 'extra' and had the most attitude dominated that discussion and you could tell he dominated that group. There are guys on here( at least a few) who are masc and who have said they could be ok with femme gays, even as partners, but I have yet to see one say the same thing about an 'extra' femme gay ....and I don't recall anyone looking for a 'hypermasculine asshole' type who would have a tendency to beat their ass daily either, for that matter.

    In short, I think this site is misunderstood. The premise of the site, the reason for the site existing, is misunderstood. It is not an 'anti' space, it is an alternative space that was mainly created by the founders to express their own selves and viewpoints that they did not see being expressed anywhere else. JMHO.
     
    Winston Smith dapped this.
  15. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Daps Received:
    5,401
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Well, anything's possible with the Internet. Give it enough time and you could find that person. Lol
     
    ColumbusGuy dapped this.
  16. ColumbusGuy

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    One of the first gay guys I met was in 1986. The guy was a very handsome funny white guy who had just moved from San Francisco. He got off by PAYING black men to literally beat the shit out of him. I mean punch, kick, etc.-give him a real beating. And he paid for it. SMH. He had just moved and 'gave up' this particular behavior because he nearly got killed.
     
  17. alton

    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    44
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,790
    Daps Received:
    2,770
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    "...which puts some straight males in a panic; if they can't "sort us out" from the general "gay population" it threatens their fragile masculinity to think we might walk among them, in work, gyms, military, etc."

    Dude you ain't NEVA lied. This is SO baffling to me. You'de think they'de WANT to chill with someone who's damn near exactly the same as them personality-wise, but no. It disturbs them. I know this first hand.
     
    Winston Smith dapped this.
  18. alton

    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    44
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,790
    Daps Received:
    2,770
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    "Walter Hampton is an example of a 'masculine identifying' black gay man who has the same negative qualities that are associated with the femme gays- he is hardly someone to look up to-he is very 'messy', judgemental, 'outing' people, spreading gossip, etc. "

    Thank you. Not to get on a WH discussion, but I don't find him to be masculine at all and I never have. Only if we were at the gym and he was dead in the middle of lifting and didn't open his mouth to speak, at he was at somewhat of a distance, and the gym was crowded so I couldn't get a really good look at him, and since I don't find him attractive I really wouldn't pay that much attention so he would just fly under my radar. His "messiness" however, I feel is due to other issues both internal and environmental that he may have going on his his life.

    "I think this site is overall much more 'pro this' than 'anti that' also. It is also telling that some of the worst anti-femme actions and behavior come from femme gays themselves-particularly the 'extra' ones who are particularly adept at tearing each other(and anyone else) apart-no holds barred, anything goes."

    I agree wholeheartedly, but at the same time one can NEVER fully comprehend the extent of someone else's struggle unless they spend a significant time in said person's "shoes". I'm not fan of messy fem behavior but, I can only speculate as to what really causes it. So en lieu of judging and showing distaste, I just stay away from them (those that are outwardly messy) when possible.
     
    ColumbusGuy and Winston Smith dapped this.
  19. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Daps Received:
    5,401
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Playing dime store shrink, I think part of it is, unlike Masc guys, they can't hide in plain sight, so maybe you learn to be quick with the quip so as to cut people down before you get cut; or, if you're cast as the devils spawn, maybe you just embrace it and flame on?
     
  20. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Daps Received:
    5,401
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    That...is so...
    He must have had a lot of money because I'm sure he didn't have a shortage of takers!
    :flav:
     
  21. Comment Imported From Main Site

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2015
    Messages:
    251
    Daps Received:
    148
    The greatest unfortunate thing in all of this is the "masculine" gay men putting themselves on a pedestal as if the fem gay man is responsible for the gun being pulled on him. If it wasn't for HIM... WE would not exist outside of our deep, dark closets of shame and insecurity. Collectively, as a black gay community, out gay men have the greatest self esteem and confidence. They are not BELOW the "masculine" descriptive they are ABOVE it as demonstrated in this video. They are the BRAVE ones not the cowards who hide behind the belief that if you are masculine you are safe. Trust me, that crippled man would have pulled the same gun on a masculine gay man once he found out he was gay but what's MORE important is he would have NEVER pulled it on a white gay man. We have NO regard or respect for each other's lives as black men. You have a man here who is handicapped hating on an out gay man. What symbolism. It is no wonder that SO many of us in the black gay male community are alone, we collectively hate ourselves so got damn much. Live and let live and stop chasing what eludes you. The hunt for a disturbed self-hating DL masculine thug speaks volumes for deeply challenged self-value. Why not just date the guys who beat the shit out of you in grade school? Perhaps that's the sum of our value and that's really what we are looking for anyway. Someone to continue to make us feel worthless. Wake the fuck up black brothers.
     
  22. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
    The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    40
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2015
    Messages:
    874
    Daps Received:
    1,245
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    To be clear, just because a gay man is masculine does not mean he is on the DL/Closeted. There are gay men who are on the DL/closetd men, including feminine gay men who are actors giving women the "pseudo" masculine man to suppress/hide their gayness. You can be masculine and Out with your sexuality, gay or bisexual.

    You cannot concur that in order to be a gay man, you have to be feminine or else, you are closeted/on the DL. That is an assbackwards perception on being a gay man. And with that perception is the problem. The problem that gives the heteronormative world the notion that "that is what being gay is". And with that, misconceptions and stereotypes taint being gay or bisexual and gives fuel to unneccesary homophobia.

    I cannot stress it enough. Feminine gay men breathe the stereotyping of how a lot of people think of gay men, especially the ones who mimic the female existence. And that is a concurrent problem that does not help us showcase us as men amongst the other type of man that is only looked at as being "what a man is" amongst the masses.

    Ijs!
     
    SB3, OckyDub, alton and 1 other person dapped this.
  23. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    45
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,540
    Daps Received:
    7,168
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    [​IMG]

    Tryna find out who you talking about, Jewld.

    You know, there are masculine, out, gay men in the world. Are there closeted, gay black men? Sure. And they are not DL either. You are generalizing all gay masculine gay men. I thought we were trying to diffuse these ideas on both sides? Fem gay men usually can't 'hide' their "feminine" qualities from others. Masculine men can 'pass' for straight. Maybe this is viewed as a benefit. Maybe not. But if that gay man is really masculine and doesn't fit into the fem or 'queer' lane, he gets talked about and described as not "living in his truth." Why can't we accept that gay men are not all alike? It's not masculine gay men's fault that 'society' views feminine gay men negatively. However, we can speak up for those gay men. On the flip side, masculine gay men, even if they are not DL, get called DL because that same society doesn't understand that gay men can be masculine and also have zero interest in females.

    While I agree that many black people, gay, straight, trans, etc, don't value or respect each other enough to not kill each other is shameful. However, you out here calling this man 'crippled' and 'handicapped' which he probably takes offense to. Help yourself help your cause.

    You are referencing grade school. Well let me tell you, about 90% of the dudes in my high school who rattled out the terms 'f@g' and sugar booty... I have the receipts on their same sex escapades as I found out about them years later from different sources. If some dude in high school had some sexual repression and years later came to terms with it, how can you still pass judgement on someone who wasn't even a fully mature adult when it comes to matters of sexual identity? Sure, they could be bi, gay, DL or whatever now. But we can't be holding on to the same messed up stuff that happened before we had a high school diploma. You have to let some stuff go and move on.

    There's nothing wrong with wanting to date a masculine dude. Most here want masculine contemporaries but I don't think we are all looking for the 'thug'. Most off the dudes here want a regular, average Joe type of dude, not a roughneck.
     
    SB3, OckyDub, alton and 1 other person dapped this.
  24. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,479
    Daps Received:
    14,823
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    100dap
    and I would add many of them (feminine dudes) prop and put themselves up on a pedestal as the real true representation of what a real Gay is. If you don't fit that narrow standard, then some how you are not brave, DL or hiding. Fuck that.
     
  25. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,479
    Daps Received:
    14,823
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    :mjlol:

    Thank you. I fuking hate this generalization. I don't want a fem dude so therefore I must want a thug or a roughneck?

    This misguided logic is usually on display when fem film makers; many times if or when they include a "non-fem", the non-fem is the aggressor, victimizer, masculine, DL, thug rough neck type. In there minds this is what non-fem means or represents.
     
    ControlledXaos and SB3 dapped this.
  26. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Yall remember a few years ago when that blk, female blogger got her blog dome rocked after an article about how every woman needed 'a gay'?! She made it seem as if 'gays' were audible, purse puppies. N guess who it was taking her to task, fem guys! The same guys who clearly gave her the notion that 'this is what gay men will be to str8 women', were suddenly upset by seeing that they weren't 'one of the girls, afterall', in print.
     
    alton and ControlledXaos dapped this.
  27. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Because this is what 'ultimate masc' represents for these fem dudes who want to be treated like their home girls.
     
    ColumbusGuy and ControlledXaos dapped this.
  28. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,479
    Daps Received:
    14,823
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    :ufdup::ohhh:
     
    Dante and ControlledXaos dapped this.
  29. jpo

    jpo
    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2015
    Messages:
    328
    Daps Received:
    402
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    This knocked me back. I see @Ockydub already hit you back on this, but I have to say that since I have been following the site I've been struck by the depth of discussion around issues of the diversity of the community and frank discussions of our attitudes - nothing like clickbait at all. And that is a reason I keep coming back.
     
    SB3, ColumbusGuy and OckyDub dapped this.
  30. jpo

    jpo
    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2015
    Messages:
    328
    Daps Received:
    402
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    About that apology video
    • That ain't me
    • I wasn't raised that way
    • I was hanging out with the wrong crowd
    • I was intoxicated
    • I know the guy, he's my man
    An interesting list which is straight out of the playbook of crisis management, often consulted by politicians who get caught doing whatever, with some variations. The list of intoxicants is pretty staggering and I suppose the I know the guy point is a variation of some of my best friends are. As for the video itself > was he in a car? on his way to turn himself in?
     
Loading...

Share This Page

Loading...