Almost three quarters of the gays turned off by feminine men, new survey finds

Discussion in 'LGBT News and Events' started by OckyDub, Nov 9, 2017.

  1. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub Fair Use Nigga....Fair Use
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    Fem queers upset over the fact that the majority of them don't desire each other sexually OR that they give each other a bad name. LMAO! I'm holding my sides laughing at the disgruntled fem-centric gays across social media platforms upset by this survey. They blaming it on Toxic Masculinity and Masculinity Being Fragile. I can't LOL. Once I gather my thoughts and research this some more, imma have to do a commentary.

    :sabu::mjlol:
    Almost three quarters of the gay community have been turned off by feminine men, new survey finds
    Masculinity so fragile

    [​IMG]

    Feminine gay men turned off almost three quarters of the gay community, according to a new survey.

    In Attitude magazine’s Masculinity Survey, 71% of the over 5,000 respondents admitted they were actively turned off by a partner with typically feminine attributes.

    It’s part of the magazine’s latest issue, aiming to tackle attitudes towards masculinity in the gay community.

    The survey also asked: ‘Have you ever thought that effeminate gay men give the gay community a bad image or reputation?’

    A shocking 41% of respondents answered ‘Yes.’

    Editor-in-chief Matt Cain said the survey highlights some ‘troubling results.’

    He wrote: ‘It backs up the experience so many of us have had on hook-up apps or the dating scene. And it reflects the difficult relationship so many of us have with our masculinity.’

    He asked: ‘But why should we let expectations about how we should look or act as men make us feel bad about ourselves?’

    Gay community and ‘straight acting’
    These latest results reflect similar studies completed in the past, like one from last year.

    Authored by Cal Strode, the survey interviewed 280 gay men in the UK and the state of California. It found a third of ‘straight-acting’ gay guys think feminine gay men give the community a bad name.

    Of the respondents saying they never experienced homophobia, 56% also identified as ‘straight-acting’, compared to 26% of those who had experienced it.

    But that’s not all: 37% of men who identified as ‘straight-acting’ also said they agreed with the statement that ‘Feminine gay men give gay men like me a bad reputation.’

    And they’re not just acting the part of a straight guy. They’re also more likely to identify with the straight community, according to 35% of survey respondents.

    Almost three quarters of the gay community have been turned off by feminine men, new survey finds
     
    #1 OckyDub, Nov 9, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2017
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  2. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Funny you just asked me this question on the last podcast and here is the result from their survey:

    Screen Shot 2017-11-09 at 11.12.42 PM.png
     
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  3. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    I hate the term straight-acting. It is as if in order for you to be legitimately gay, you supposed to be feminine (the stereotype).

    I believe that most feminine gay males do not see how their heteronormative perception of SGL men (fem gay to masc gay is to straight female to straight male) is the problem.
     
  4. Cyrus-Brooks

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    The fem mafia which controls gay media and online conversation like to talk out both sides of their mouth. On the one hand constant bitch and moan about hyper-masculinity, toxic-masculinity, or just plain old masculinity at every opportunity but are the main ones I see lusting after "trade" or bragging about sleeping with a "straight" dude. They want to have it both ways.
     
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  5. ColumbusGuy

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    I don't like 'straight acting' either...for several reasons, but among them is that the correct term would be 'masculine'-there are plenty of masculine gay men and there are also 'not-so-masculine' straight guys.
     
  6. BlackguyExecutive

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    I am having trouble finding the reverse argument here...what is the results of the poll were 3/4th of gay men liked feminine men? What would that say about the culture? I having a feeling that surveys like this immediately fall into the fallacy and false equivalency trap.

    The term "Straight Acting" is stupid. If you are a man who likes men and like sex, with men you are not straight, Although that doesn't mean you are gay either.

    Also, would it be normal for men who like men, who identify as gay want to be attracted to men (the hardness and masculinity of men), the more feminine you are the closer you get to construct of womanness and that is obviously less attractive to men.

    What is the actual point of this discussion?
     
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  7. ColumbusGuy

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    That reminds me of the whole argument that the more gay men are attracted to masculinity, the more they are actually like women, because that is what straight women are attracted to(masculine men), and really masculine gay men would be attracted to femme men, as they would see themselves as the 'dominant, male figure' desiring the less dominant, less 'male' figure(I don't really buy this argument).

    And there are some very masculine gay/SGL/etc. men who only want femme men or even only want MTF transgenders.

    I think it is natural overall for men desiring men to desire qualities that have typically been defined as male, but a significant part of that is societal conditioning that male masculinity is good, and male femininity is bad. And a big part of this discussion is defining exactly what we mean by 'masculine', 'feminine', 'straight-acting', etc.

    Is a 'masculine' gay guy absolutely unclockable by most of the population? Where do 'in-between' gay men fit in? How feminine is 'feminine'-is it only the extreme?-what do most gay men 'think' when they think 'masculine' or 'feminine'?


    *this whole discussion made me think of something I heard when I first went to a gay bar. Someone said, 'today's trade is tomorrow's competition'. lol. I did not know what 'trade' was.
     
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  8. mikeyllo

    mikeyllo Writer, Humor Blogger, Creative

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    This is a interesting topic because I feel as though the focus is on those who are not accepting of a particular thing while ignoring those who are. Every person, straight, gay or otherwise has traits that they are attracted to in a mate. Although we don't directly address who feminine men are attracted to, they, too, often have types as well--and their types may not be feminine. Here in lies a portion of the problem. We often want others to accept in us things that we wouldn't ourselves accept in someone else.

    As I scroll through the ads and messages searching for cross dressers or feminine men, I have to realize and understand that me and that person are not a match because I am not those things. As I scroll past the ones that want muscles, I have to do the say nope, that ain't me. As I scroll past the ones that want whites, or latinos, or asians only, I have to just sigh and keep scrolling. I'm not entitled to their affection and I doubt I can verbally talk, pressure, or shame someone into being attracted to me if they naturally aren't. Instead, why can't we focus on the ones who are looking for whatever traits make us...well...us.
     
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  9. Omega Level

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    Exactly. I mean really, thats pretty much it in a nut shell to me. How could anyone be surprised with this statistic?

    If you are a gay man and you see very feminine gay men, aren't they basically a woman? I.E. the very sex you are not attracted to? It has nothing to do with disrespecting them, its just the sheer fact that if they are wearing make-up and heels, thats a traditional woman atheistic.

    There are gay men of course that like feminine men, but yes, as the survey says I believe the vast majority of men who identify as gay are attracted to traditional if not even stereotypical male attributes. Nothing here is really New news.
     
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  10. Omega Level

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    This post actually brings to mind someone like EJ Johnson for me.

    Great gay man or person (not sure what he wants to be called now a days) and I actually love his "I give zero fucks" confidence. But its pretty obvious that many gay men would not be attracted to him because what if anything about him says man other than whats between his legs. I look at him as basically a woman and I think HE even looks at himself the same way.

    If I were attracted to women, I would probably try to holla at EJ. :holeup::pachah1:

    EJ-Johnson-X17-Online.jpg
     
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  11. ColumbusGuy

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    This is very true. Nobody is entitled to anyone else or to have anyone else. That is just the way it is in life.
    Another thing to note about EJ is how many people would be attracted to him now that he has lost weight vs how he was sans the weight loss. Masculinity is just one quality that may be a dealbreaker-you do see 'no fats, no fems' so frequently together, now don't you?

    I also wonder about how many of these 'straight acting' men who are rejecting femmes don't also have some sugar in that tank lol. How many times have you ever in your life seen gay guys identity as 'masculine' and then you meet them and they do not sound or act very masculine to you lol.

    That is why I don't call myself 'masculine' in the same way that some guys do(not that I think I am femme or seen as that either)-I self-identify as in-between* because even though some people may have no clue that I am gay, I don't see myself as 'dripping with masculinity' like some of these straight guys are. To me really 'masculine' is pretty much the same as unclockable not only in place but also with the passage of time. JMHO.

    *also I think the standard of what is 'masculine' is different per race/ethnicity/culture, and I think Caucasian guys are just generally seen as 'softer- especially compared to Hispanic or black men.
     
  12. eli94

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    no, at the end of the day a fem gay man is still a man. i have been with fem men and women. softness in a man is attractive to me, does not mean i want him to be a woman or pretend he is. jmo, im bi tho.
     
  13. Nick Delmacy

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  14. Aejae

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    See for me, I don't have a problem with "hyper-masculinity." I actually like them :troll:. And if I could ever pull off sleeping with a straight dude, nobody will know:sass1:. (But just to think about getting away with somebody like that:rejoice: )
     
  15. ColumbusGuy

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    O.M.F.G. Did they really have to put that 'toxic masculinity' tag there? They are probably just pissing themselves over the comments lol. Damn if you do not rigidly conform to their gay agenda and ideology, you are a bad gay and misogynistic, self-hating, in need of 'repair' and 'therapy', etc.

    The main question is just about what people are attracted to sexually, not about who is valuable and who is not. And with the question about 'femme' guys giving gays a bad name, I wonder how many responded not thinking about 'femme' gays, but about extra, loud, obnoxious, inappropriate, and 'messy' femme gays?(hey if they can make broad leaps and assumptions so can I...right?)
     
  16. Boaxy

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    I can understand preferences. I can.

    What I do not understand, is hidden agendas, and just ignorance.

    To me when you hear tropes, "Gay men want men and not women." "Feminine men give gays a bad reputation." "Just because you're gay, doesn't mean you have to act like a girl." etc. I don't see that as preference towards making statements, and having values such as that.

    It's more they don't' want to be associated with gay men like that.

    As a feminine gay man, that's where I have an issue and problem.

    Everyone who is gay, is going to be ostracized for being gay. Just masculine and straight men, just have maybe a few more instances and circumstances, to where they can have their moments of adapting into acceptance into heteronormative society. As opposed to feminine gay men, who on a daily and constant basis, are more pin pointed to their sexuality, in a more noticeable way.

    But you are still going to be seen as a gay man. I don't care how macho you and your network are, you are still gay.
     
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