Are "Tops" going extinct?

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by BlackOnyx1, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. BlackOnyx1

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    24
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2015
    Messages:
    119
    Daps Received:
    131
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago,Illinois
    Dating:
    Single
    So this maybe random but i'd like to know what everyone's thoughts are, so a few days ago i saw some memes on IG (instagram) on my explore page that was posted by gay black men and the memes were saying that "strict tops" are going extinct in the gay community and a high percentage of the rest of the community are bottoms with a small percentage being verse. my question is do you all think that it is true and that "tops" are going extinct? the reason i use the quotation marks is because i honestly think guys who only top are boring in a way because what if the man who is a bottom has a big penis as well or he wants to top you then what? see where i'm going? anyway that's just me, i want to know you guys' thoughts on this topic.
     
  2. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,341
    Daps Received:
    5,859
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Jxn
    When you and a guy are casual,it's totally understandable to stick to the lane you're most comfortable with.Outside of that ,when you're with another man you have to adjust to the reality that he has a penis too,and wants to be pleasured. . If the connection is anything serious,then I think compromise has to be achieved.

    A lot of guys who are posting about a lack of tops are often turned off for some reason when hey find out their desired top(s) bottomed for another guy at some point in their history.Really as long as the person you're wtith (for just tonite or long-term) is compatible with your sexual needs or willing to conform with them,then worrying about their label as some type of defining trait is pointless.
     
    #2 DreG, Jun 9, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2016
    Tyroc, bpaisle, NikR and 9 others dapped this.
  3. BlackOnyx1

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    24
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2015
    Messages:
    119
    Daps Received:
    131
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago,Illinois
    Dating:
    Single
    WORD! I agree it's the whole bullshit with labels that's got these dudes missing out on what could be a long term relationship. dudes just being too petty these days
     
  4. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    36
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,495
    Daps Received:
    8,042
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Too many gay men are running around wanting to pretend they're ladies w their prince charming. They all want a masc dude, but no one wants to be a masc dude and act like he has a dik!
     
    Tyroc, alton, Winston Smith and 2 others dapped this.
  5. OhSheit

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,138
    Daps Received:
    1,594
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Orientation:
    Bicurious
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    I want 12+ inches, chiseled adonis, who can pick me up and power slam me into a comma, degrade me and call my ass pussy. Never took a dick in their life, matter fact don't even wash back there that's gay. :what:
     
    Tyroc, SB3, ColumbusGuy and 2 others dapped this.
  6. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,341
    Daps Received:
    5,859
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Jxn
    If he already has a girlfriend then you hit the jackpot.
     
    Tyroc and SB3 dapped this.
  7. mojoreece

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,307
    Daps Received:
    2,723
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC
    I get we need labels to describe things for sexual logistics purposes but the whole characterizing someones whole personality just cause they are top bottom vers stuff.... smh. They should be used as verbs not nouns. They are just sexual performances for what ppl like not their total personality. Which means it can change. Who said ppl got to stick to one thing? We are gay which means we dont have to follow that weird hetero-normative bulls****.
    [​IMG]
     
    Winston Smith, takeyourmeds91 and DreG dapped this.
  8. takeyourmeds91

    The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    724
    Daps Received:
    2,822
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    FL
    Ain't nun wrong with a lil choke-slamming every now and then..I always wake up...



    (completely kidding)
     
    Winston Smith dapped this.
  9. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    1,882
    Daps Received:
    4,850
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Let the choir say a-MENS!!

    The labels and age thing with gay men has bothered me since accepting my same sex attraction. I haven't bottomed yet but if it comes up (pun!) with the dude I just met and the relationship progresses, he can get it. Secure enough in my masculinity/manhood that it's not a psychological thing at all. Although I'll probably have to suppress laughter as, being bigger, taller, and sarcastic, and I'll keep thinking of Eddie Murphy's "Gay Mr. T" routine.

    "Slow down, boy....unnnnnnnnnn!!!!!"
    :dead1:
     
    DreG dapped this.
  10. alton

    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,755
    Daps Received:
    2,719
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    "A lot of guys who are posting about a lack of tops are often turned off for some reason when hey find out their desired top(s) bottomed for another guy at some point in their history."

    This is the crux of this whole stupid a$$ theory (@BlackOnyx1 I don't mean stupid in regard to your post, but in the direction of the subject itself lol) I can't count how many times I've heard bottoms voice their literal disgust in regard to guys that top but like to bottom on occasion, as if that physically mars a dude. smh.
     
    DreG dapped this.
  11. alton

    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,755
    Daps Received:
    2,719
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    I didn't want to take the convo there but, thanks LOL

    "I needs a MAN! A MAN, I tells ya! Not no GOT...DAMN Top that wonna be gettin' POKED in his a$$"
    [​IMG]
     
    SB3 and DreG dapped this.
  12. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,341
    Daps Received:
    5,859
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Jxn
    :deadmanny:
     
    alton dapped this.
  13. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,341
    Daps Received:
    5,859
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Jxn
    Please don't :heh:
     
  14. jpo

    jpo
    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2015
    Messages:
    306
    Daps Received:
    338
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    This is one of those debates/issues that comes and goes - sort of like the God is dead bit, or to quote a 60s song, is the theater really dead, which is not to say it is not real.
    Putting a label up front can be justified as a way of not wasting time - his or yours - or of avoiding unpleasant situations. But there is a coat in terms of experience. Even in a simple hook-up, there are all sorts of possibilities - do we really believe that two bottoms can's have great sex, or two tops.
    Rico, above said
    I agree but I think the possibility is there whether or not the relationship progresses. Sometimes we get ourselves in a rut (no pun) and then things become routine and then we all start to overanalyze what's going on.
    I did not always think this way, I admit. But as I've got older I find the unexpected a big part of good sex.
     
  15. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    36
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,495
    Daps Received:
    8,042
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    I smashed a dude who was abt 6' 3", super masc, has 2 sons, n he was a power bottom!! Wanted me to spit on him n the choke out n errrthang! Good times.

    But, I was a lil confused on how a man who clearly has smashed the puss, puss, puss enough to produce 2 kids just wants his dik completely ignored when he's w another dude.

    But whatever. I'm a white, str8 man, as of this year...
     
    Winston Smith dapped this.
  16. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    1,882
    Daps Received:
    4,850
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Because the ass is always greener on the other side
    *snare*
     
  17. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Charge D'Affaires
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    33
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,021
    Daps Received:
    2,439
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    I don't understand this top drought nonsense. I feel like any man with a penis can top, it my not be good topping but a top nonetheless. I guess I never really noticed this apparent abundance of total bottoms. I get people have their preferences in sexual position but this absence of tops seems absurd to me.
     
  18. OhSheit

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,138
    Daps Received:
    1,594
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Orientation:
    Bicurious
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    But this is what we're talking about...How do you know he's not using his dick with other dudes? The same thing you did to him he's probably doing to other guys and girls. How do you know he's not doing that to me? You just never know.
     
  19. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    36
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,495
    Daps Received:
    8,042
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Becus when I asked him this same question, he said he only bottoms, and hasnt been w a woman since his bm years ago. He has a thing for being completely dominated.
     
  20. OhSheit

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,138
    Daps Received:
    1,594
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    Orientation:
    Bicurious
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    Oh, then I guess he's been repressed and found his calling. More power to him.
     
  21. Dreamwalker

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    284
    Daps Received:
    384
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    Well...there's always prison lol
    image.png

    image.png
     
  22. Dreamwalker

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    284
    Daps Received:
    384
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    Some interesting points in this article....
    Who's On Top?
    "Who's on Top

    The surge in Internet dating has enabled straight singles to delineate their romantic requirements in no uncertain terms—religion, income, smoking policy—but in gay men’s personals, there’s another category in the mix: top or bottom. (For those not in the know, the bottom is, sexually speaking, the one on the receiving, or “catching,” end of things.) In a city where it’s hard enough to figure out how to get sex, gay men must also figure out how to have it. The wrong position in the right guy can be an automatic deal breaker, making an already complex dating world even more difficult to navigate. “I’ll be online,” says Jason, 33, a financial consultant, “chatting with some guy, we’ll be getting along really well, and then I’ll say I’m a bottom and he’ll say, ‘Me too. Okay. Good-bye,’ and sign off.”

    Though many men despise being labeled, offering up their versatility as a selling point, like a six-figure income or well-defined lats, others say a versatile’s just a bottom in denial. “New York is a bottom town,” says Jason. “When you’re on manhunt.net and the profile says ‘versatile,’ you know that guy’s a bottom. It means he will top but doesn’t like to. I’m a bottom, and my profile says versatile.”

    Jason will top on occasion, when he loses the game known as “Race to the Bottom,” but he doesn’t enjoy it as much. “One of the reasons I don’t top as much is because I don’t have to do as much work—not that I’m a lazy bottom who just lays there.” When he finds himself being asked to top by a guy he likes, he takes Viagra. “That way, there’s not as much potential for it to fall through if I’m not totally into it. There’s not as much riding on the erection factor, and I can just enjoy the sex.”

    Some surmise that the Big Apple’s bottom surplus is a reaction to the daily grind of making it in the city. “I have to be on all day,” Jason says. “At night, I don’t want to have all the responsibility on me. And the responsibility is on the top because he has to have an erection in order for sex to happen.” Other men say it’s only natural to want to be a bottom when it’s the bottom who has the most fun. Contrary to what many straight people assume, bottoms are not necessarily submissive or masochistic; any man who’s done some exploring knows the pleasures of the prostate.

    Some bottoms call themselves “power bottoms,” which means they take pride in bottoming and are extraordinarily picky about the anatomical endowments of their partners. “A power bottom,” says Stan, 38, a literary agent, “is somebody who can take it pretty easily and likes it a lot. I know a guy like that who’s only topped four guys in his life. I said to him, ‘That’s one per decade!’ ”

    With so many proud bottoms in this town, it’s enough to make even the most committed tops question themselves. “My best friend and I are both active tops,” says Dennis, 26, a stylist, “and we’re always talking about how unsophisticated and tacky and eighties we feel, like we’re missing out on all this pleasure. We feel like we’re in the service industry. The bottom gets the good end of the deal.”

    Dennis has been thinking a lot about position lately because he keeps getting bait-and-switched: He meets a guy he’s certain is a bottom only to take him home and find that he’s a top. “It’s made it hard to get in a relationship because it seems like every time someone seems right for me on other levels, he turns out to be a top. We’ll try switching, and it’s not satisfying, then fast-forward a month and we’re talking about the other guys we’re dating.”

    Some gay men are reluctant to define themselves as top or bottom. Stan fell for his boyfriend when the subject of position came up on their first date. “He said, ‘Are you top or bottom?’ I said, ‘Both,’ and he said, ‘Yay!’ I would never date someone who said he was one or the other.”

    Bill, a 36-year-old journalist, spent time in Amsterdam, where he found that most gay men were versatile, then moved to New York, where everyone was obsessed with top/bottom. “It’s very American to have to decide, like ‘McDonald’s or Burger King?’ Why should you limit yourself that way?” Versatility benefits everyone, he says. “The best tops are also bottoms because they know what it feels like.”

    The issue is made more complex by that fact that looks are no indication of proclivity. Gone are the handkerchief codes of the seventies, where a hankie in the left pocket indicated a guy was a top, and the right indicated a bottom.

    Some say there’s a reverse correlation between appearance and position—many short guys and drag queens are strict tops, while steroidal gym rats can be devoted bottoms. “All those Chelsea boys are bottoms!” cries Adrian, 28, a filmmaker. “I remember being at Barracuda one night, and this drag queen was going around to different guys saying, ‘Bottom, bottom, bottom,’ but no one was willing to admit it.”

    Some men are tops when they’re single but become bottoms once they fall in love. Adrian considered himself a top when he met his current boyfriend, Mike, who had never bottomed. “He had issues about it,” Adrian says. “But he was willing to be a bottom with me because of the emotional connection.”

    The first time, Mike was nervous, so they joked about it to make things more comfortable. “I said, ‘Honey, it’s going to hurt me as much as it’s going to hurt you.’ We were laughing hysterically. He speaks five or six languages, and he was going back and forth between them, saying, ‘Why do you gay people do this?’ ”

    Since then, they’ve been jockeying for position. Adrian now calls himself “a bottom who’s not willing to give it up.” “I’m a white boy with a Puerto Rican butt,” he says, “so Mike’s always saying, ‘Look at your butt! You have to be the bottom!’ We’re always chasing each other around the apartment, these two 145-pound guys trying to pin each other down.”

    For gay men who haven’t yet found their Mr. Right, the difficulty in New York may have less to do with position than competition. “I do yoga four times a week and have 7 percent body fat,” says Stan, “and I still can’t get guys to say hi to me. The real challenge in New York has nothing to do with being a top or bottom. It’s getting a second date.”
     
  23. alton

    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,755
    Daps Received:
    2,719
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    "I’m a white boy with a Puerto Rican butt,”

    [​IMG]
     
    SB3 and Winston Smith dapped this.
  24. Jai

    Jai I'm honing in on my inner freak.
    The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    849
    Daps Received:
    1,406
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Orientation:
    Asexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Well, he should wash back there. I wouldn't be opposed to rimming a top at all...Just saying..
     
    BlackOnyx1 dapped this.
Loading...
Similar Threads - Tops going extinct Forum Date
No TOPs Sex and Adult Mar 3, 2019
Dear Tops / Vers Tops...Please read and Take Notes! Dating and Relationships Jan 11, 2019
Black Hero Stops Mass Shooting and gets Murdered by Police Race, Religion, Science and Politics Nov 12, 2018
Question for Tops Sex and Adult Jul 6, 2018
NSFW Tops that Play in the Booty NSFW Sex and Adult Jun 12, 2018

Share This Page

Loading...