Are You a "Gold Star" Gay?

Discussion in 'Sex and Adult' started by ControlledXaos, Nov 4, 2015.

?

Have You Ever Had Sex With A Female?

  1. No.

  2. Yes, but only oral. I identify as gay.

  3. Yes, full vaginal intercourse. I identify as gay.

  4. Yes, full vaginal and anal intercourse. I identify as gay.

  5. I'm bisexual.

  6. Yes. I identify as straight.

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. ControlledXaos

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    "Gold Star" basically means that you've never had sexual intercourse with a female. Some gays think this makes them 'better' than gay men who have had sex with women before or bisexual men.

    This poll has been set so that you have to vote to see the results.

    This can also be used a point of discussion on this topic.

    I don't care. I don't think anyone outside of gays care about this, if they care at all. In light of things where men who have sex with men, even once, get labeled as 'gay' by many in the heterosexual world, this is just a non scientific way to see demographics on this site. To me, it doesn't matter because we all can experience some form of discrimination and we all also make our own paths to accepting ourselves for who we are and moving forward with our lives.
     
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  2. SB3

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    No gold star for me. Shyt, Im 5 mins away from goin str8 again since yall gays dont know how to act right.
     
  3. acessential

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    Gold Star all the way. I came out too early to be corrupted. Although I do think it would be interesting.
     
  4. African King

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    LOL haven't had any sexual contact yet except with strippers at Swinging Richards. Not sex but of course coppin' a feel hahaha.
     
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  5. Kouncelor

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    Interesting. I had a hard time the survey because I had been in different placea at different points in my life. Nope...no "Gold Star" Gay here...and don't care to be.

    Labels are so limiting. I dont let the straights put me in a box and I wint let the gays do it either.

    Just note, due to the limited options to choose from, you will not good sample. Many, many black men who have slept with men do not necessarily use labels define themselves.
     
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  6. Jdudre

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    Not a gold star gay. when I was growing up I hung around with mostly girls and we would play, hang , and sometimes fool around.
     
  7. Dante

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    Yet? Do tell!
     
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  8. Dante

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    If Gold Star means not ever having sexual intercourse/relations with a female, then I'm definitely a Gold Star gay, even though I don't care for that terminology. I would like to see myself having a child, but I'll let that be between that female and the doctor's office. #TeamLoveMenAllDay LMAO!

    As for "labels", I really get confused as for people who have issues with the actual words that define individual sexualities. For me, saying that you "don't get into labels" being either gay or bisexual isn't going to exempt you from how a lot of heterosexual people view being sexually/physically attracted to the same gender, alongside the discrimination, stigma and negative perceptions they have/will execute in regards to not being straight. We are all human; however, we all have definitions. Even when Raven-Symone said she was just an American and not Black, at the end of the day, she is Black (i.e. she's from all of the continents in Africa). And even when Rachel Dolezal said she identified as a Black woman, she's still a White woman, no matter who much she tans/bronzes her skin tone. It's ok to be real with yourself and what is. For any of the members on this site, whether having had at least one sexual encounter with a female or not, you are not straight if you are sexually/physically attracted to the same gender.
     
    #8 Dante, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
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  9. BlackguyExecutive

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    Not a Gold Star but have limited experiences with women. 3 to be exact. Tried it. Didn't feel right. Got with a guy and it was all she wrote. Interestingly enough, my husband is a Gold Star gay man. He told me he never had any desire what so ever to be with a woman.
     
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  10. African King

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    LOL your hubby and I are both gold-star gays. I don't look down on gays who've been involved with women at all. All a part of life experience. I just knew that I never had desire to be with a female. I went on dates with them but I ended up cutting ties myself. I made work and school my focuses and had a faithful relationship with porn.
     
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  11. ControlledXaos

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    This poll isn't intended to be scientific or taken that seriously.

    The basic question is... "Have you had any parts of the ¶u$$¥?"
     
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  12. Kouncelor

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    LOL...ok.. cuz bruh sounded kinda angry... LMAO... and yes, I sho did.
     
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  13. SB3

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    Paaaaaaarts....
     
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  14. bpaisle

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    Yeah I guess count me as a gold star gay. I can appreciate a beautiful woman but I've just never had the desire to have sex with them. I think that term sounds kind of corny though. Who gives a fuck really. If your gay, it doesn't make you any more or less gay if you've been with a woman.
     
  15. Kouncelor

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    This is true. In the same light, just because you have slept with a man does not make you gay or bisexual. These are all just labels.
     
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  16. tigerbreaux

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    I've been with my fair share of women (I was a bit promiscuous in HS)and I guess I identify as gay, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have sex with a woman again. I'm a firm believer in the Kinsey Scale, so I see sexuality as more fluid than rigid. While I don't see myself being in a relationship with a woman at this point, my attraction to them has never gone away, but simply ebbs and flow, just like my attraction to men.
     
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  17. Kouncelor

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    Yes... my words exactly. A Kinsey-Man.
     
  18. Michael

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    I had no idea what a "Gold Star Gay" was until this post. I've only had oral with a female and at this point don't foresee it going beyond that or tit play.
     
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  19. Dante

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    So is there a such thing as sexuality, being that everyone is not gay, not straight and not bisexual? I say that because it's one thing to be in denial of your sexuality, but there's another thing to exempt yourself from it altogether as if sexuality (your physical/sexual attraction to either one of or both genders) doesn't exist. For instance, I'm a man. But if I feel that gender is fluid or doesn't exist, I can say I identify as a woman. And then, at any given time, I can then say in the future, I identify as a man. Or just say that I "I don't get into gender". Just asking.
     
    #19 Dante, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
  20. Nick Delmacy

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    I'm not a Gold Star Gay I guess...I love tittays too much...so much so that I don't even like dudes with hard plump chiseled chests. Hard muscle bodies in general are a turnoff to me unless its just because the dude is super slim and can't hold on to the cushion. But I'm already way off-topic so I digress...

    [​IMG]
     
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  21. cypher21

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    LOL same, I've never been with a woman, been attracted to a few but the girl to guy crush ratio is terribly one sided especially by High School!

    Have any of you "Gold Stars" been hit with the question/statement "But if who've never been with a woman, how do you know you're not straight?"

    :fantasia:
     
  22. tigerbreaux

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    Let's take a step back one second. Gender and sexuality are two completely different things. The things I've seen being referenced here are based on sexuality. Some of you believe in the singular way of approaching sexuality for yourself, that's fine. I am a scientist, so I look to scientific research, which is why I referenced the Kinsey Scale. It's scientific research done on sexuality and it was concluded that sex and sexuality isn't so black & white. Everyone has preferences and biases, but that may not be exclusionary of other things at different points in their lives.

    It is because of this that it would explain how some people weren't born gay and came to their sexual awakening later on in life, and vice-versa. It also explains why I don't consider every man who takes part in some homosexual thoughts/actions to be gay. I'm getting WAY off topic so I'll end it there.
     
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  23. Dante

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    YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! And I hated that damn question. It's like "If you never been to jail, how do you know its bad inside?". And that question is an easy question to ask from anyone who can't understand being sexually and physically attracted to someone of the same gender and think that the "physical act" of having sex and sexuality are the same. Sexuality is predetermined and it's realized/presented internally/mentally before or around puberty. And there are gay men who have and are having sex with women. If having sex with a woman was the turnaround, then we would have been "cured" by now.
     
    #23 Dante, Nov 5, 2015
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  24. Dante

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    I get it. It will have to be a agree to disagree stanch with you on this one. For me, if you are sexually and physically attracted to both sexes, you are bisexual (all the areas between 0 and 6 on the Kinsey scale). I only asked because I've been talking to a guy who said that he doesn't get into labels and I was just curious. I only threw gender into it, because of Transsexuality. We'll see about him, because I'm not about to be in a situation where I'm dealing with a "I don't get into labels" guy and he's playing with my emotions and that's his justification.

    I respect your opinion.
     
  25. Nick Delmacy

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    Yeah just like you can have a child and still not be a mother or father. Or like you can have a Caucasian parent but still not be considered "white." All these labels and names for things are social constructs, shyt people give names to to help them place people in nice neat boxes to help them understand the world.
     
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  26. Michael

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    I wouldn't jump the gun and say that a man is "gay" because he slept with another man just like that wouldn't make me "straight" if I slept with a woman. I just think not having labels or being able to pigeon-hole people is terrifying to many.
     
  27. tigerbreaux

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    I agree. Our brains are wired to stereotype, make snap judgments and put things in the simplest terms to understand, but that's also something you can train yourself not to be conditioned to. I do agree that sometimes labels are necessary and came cut down on some confusion. So most times if I don't feel like getting into a whole discussion I'll just say things like "I'm gay" or "I'm a top" to cut down confusion. Especially if the convo or person isn't worth in-depth analysis lol
     
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  28. D'Elle Brothers

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    True Kouncelor! No matter how much puntane I've had, society would label me gay just for watching gay porn. I could be fooling myself according to society by identifying as bisexual since my desires are stronger for men. But I've intentionally deal with men versus women because I won't have to explain to him why I view gay content, have gay and bisexual friends.
     
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  29. Dante

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    I wouldn't advise doing that, especially when people take what you say seriously...lol For instance, if you are in a conversation dating a guy and you tell him, to cut down the confusion, "I'm gay" and you are indeed bisexual, you're lying and on the flip side saying "I'm straight" and you are indeed bisexual. No need to do that. Just say you are bisexual and if they can't accept that for that it truly is, keep it moving. It may just be a conversation. However, if more comes from that conversation and you are not real with that person, who knows what can happen. But anywho.

    And for the most part, "labels" which are indeed terms, are very necessary, because that's the way life is. It's not to complicate things and yes, to make things understood. No one should have time for complications. Even in our everyday lives, there are "labels" that define us, man, tall, fat, clumpsy, dumb, etc. We can't live life like there's no dictionary or existence of definition.
     
    #29 Dante, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
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  30. tigerbreaux

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    But I'm not lying. I don't consider myself bisexual. I'm a gay man who still finds women attractive, and could potentially have sex with one, but I choose to be with men predominantly.
     
  31. bpaisle

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    I agree. The same can be applied to both sides. No double standards.
     
  32. Dante

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    Yes you would be, because saying you are still sexually and physically attracted to women confirmed you are not gay. And even if you said to a female "I'm a a straight man who still find men attractive", you would be on that end, too. Or since you don't get into labels, just say you are a man who finds women and men attractive. Even in all of this, even with your response, you still used gay (which is a "label"), but gay men aren't sexually/physically attracted to females.
     
  33. D'Elle Brothers

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    I just dapped you man! I'm wearing the same shoes. I've explained my position to a bisexual female friend (who I had the pleasure of having a couple of sexual encounters with). She prefers men tho but she considers me bisexual, she met one of my ex girlfriends.
     
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  34. Kouncelor

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    How can you put a label on someone else? It's not your right. And who said that a gay man can't be sexually/physically attracted to females? We need to open out minds a bit here with our thinking and how things are defined.
     
  35. bpaisle

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    I think that it's best to let people label themselves. Let them identity as whatever they want to be. If a man has sex with women and wants to identify as gay, then that is their choice. If a man has had sex with another man but wants to identify as straight, then let him. We can't make those kind of choices for other people. Truthfully, I don't really care to either.
     
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