Black Women Create the Men They Complain About

Spot on. This topic has been discussed before. Here's another comprehensive article on this topic Ways Single Mothers Destroy their sons
Many single black mothers refuse to take head. Instead the popular discourse online is "patriarchy" and "toxic masculinity." Women, particularly single black mothers would rather deflect the blame. Heterosexual black men are also a huge part of the problem as well. They'd rather blame gay black men for the bullshit they are responsible for.

 

@Nick Delmacy what you know about the negro manosphere ? While I agree with many of their points, they extra anti-homo... cause we destroying the black family and turning African Warriors into Laverne Cox's

 

Many single Black mothers raise their sons to be their boyfriends or the man of the house because they're tired of the "no good niggas" they keep attracting.

 

I partially agree but I also think that the destruction of the black family was designed through racist structures and white supremacy. Before we go blame one another we have to accept that this prognosis was designed by others as a mechanism of control.

With that being said, I am never one to simply blame white people and racism and white supremacy for all of our woes. After the 1970s there really hasn't been good modeling of families...when did it become acceptable to have children with men with no intention of marrying them and vice versa.

 

I also think many single black mothers are simply not honest with themselves in that they are simply not equipped to handle the challenges associated with raising a boy. They think they can teach a boy to be a man on their terms. That more often than not has disastrous consequences. There is this pervasive feminist "logic" that says boys and girls are the same. They are not. You see this alot in public education. Which is why acedemic stats for boys is not so great when compared to girls. For black boys the situation is especially grim. But to acknowledge that boys need to be treated differently and that they need, leadership, guidance and discipline from men is regarded as heresy in today's social environment. Only a man can teach a boy to be man until that simple truth is acknowledged the situation won't improve.

 

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE!!!

I remember one of my Black male teachers.

The bass in his voice shut shit down.

He never wrote anybody up nor sent people to the principle's office. For the males in his class, he would pit a sturdy firm grip around the back of your neck take you outside or to a secluded hallway...let you have it and march you back to the class and tell you to have a seat.

This was after he would grit on you HARD and that didn't work. I remember he easily had the most disciplined class I was in while in middle school. No female teacher could accomplish this. I even remember the female teachers requesting either to have unruly boys moved to his class or requesting him to quiet down their classes.

 

@Cyrus-Brooks you are right! Until we recognize that the educational disparity between Black Boys and Young Men is our own creation because we should be treating them differently.

I listen to NPR's Podcast called Code Switch and they have been covering a story of a controversial new school in DC Ron Brown College Preparatory High School. @Ockydub @Nick Delmacy check out this school its worthy of commentary



'Raising Kings' - A Year Inside D.C.'s Prep School For Boys Of Color | WAMU

 

LOL I just created a thread earlier today with the last in the series. Coincidence or happenstance?

 

Great Minds. It's the male version of our periods syncing. Sorry for the visual.

 

LMAO

 

It's both a cultural problem and a systemic problem. I think more men (black men in particular) need to challenge the accepted orthodoxy of public education which is very femalecentric. There also needs to be a monumental shift in black American culture to place more emphasis on learning, intellectualism, practical skills and less emphasis on entertainment and sports.

 

I've been married for a long minute to same woman and we got kids together. I used to be all about the sista you know...on they side. But after being married and my experiences I see things different. Not bad just got a different view that "woman bring about what they don't want."

 

Oh well shit lol! That hit my heart like Mike Tyson in Punch Out! That unfortunately is me, but I will always defend my momma in raising me. My dad committed suicide when I was a year old. My momma and daddy was married. It wasn't like she was a baby momma. Both of my sisters and i have the same father. So in her case, I do think in a way she really didn't know how to raise me to be a man by herself. All I know is (in my case) she did her best, she worked hard AND took care of us, and I love her for that.

 

I feel you Nick. Taking care of boys isn't a bad thing, mums and dads should do that rather than raise boys like Spartan warriors The challenge is not to "spoil" them. I think in some cases black woman in the hood treat their boys special and (this may sound sick)...but its like treating the boy so special is the young mums way of doing for the kid what she wanted to do for her dude...not sure if that makes sense. Yes, its a demented thought. I'm not saying mums are sexing their boys but its def something to think on. So, as a dad my challenge has been getting my wife to stop baby'ing our boys. The attachment of black mums to their boys in America mostly likely stems from racial issues, but I think it causes problems later in life for both involved. My point is Sistas gotta keep it balanced to make sure they aren't leaning to far to left or right in any of their relationships.

 

Your case is exactly why I say most single black mothers are not honest with themselves about not being equipped to raise a boy. Because they don't understand the informal rules of masculinity and manhood. Most don't understand the world doesn't GAF about men's or boys feelings especially black men and black boys feelings. Encouraging boys to be emotional,(as women often do) is counterproductive. Many don't understand that schools systems treat boys, especially black boys very harshly. The legal system treats men more harshly once again especially black men. The world in general treats men and boys especially black men and boys harshly. The consequences for run ins with law enforcement are often catastrophic even if they don't result in death. Coddling boys doesn't prepare them for these harsh realities and sets them up for failure. Most don't understand male sexuality they definitely don't understand their gay or bisexual son's sexuality. Many black women take their sons being non-heterosexual as being a personal affront. Many single black mothers don't understand the importance of consistent discipline and are often times unable to balance being strict and lenient.

My mom understood certain things but certain things she just didn't get like the informal unwritten rules of masculinity. I got lucky in that I had uncles to step in when my dad wasn't in the picture. I know my mom did the best she could but since she isn't a man there is certain things she just couldn't teach me.

 

@Cyrus-Brooks Ya def correct Cy, mums can't raise boys without help from men...spot on!