Here lately I have been trying to not have sex since about May and really working to save myself until I turn 30, which is when I plan to begin to accept offers to be in a relationship. I have been communicating with someone that we have arranged to have sex on Sunday and I feel bad about doing it. Any comments?
I think that is an noble thing bruh. My question would be, when do you turn 30? Maybe you can have an early birthday...lol
I want to save myself for a relationship. I'm praying that when I turn 30, I'll be more available to truly entertain a relationship. I want the two to go together, but I'm thinking I may have to try a different way of viewing my sexual activity. Here lately I've been paying for sex in many different ways and losing a lot of money and satisfaction.
I know that I would love to have sex with someone when we both care for each other. I am actually a 25 year old virgin. But now I am not sure if I am a virgin anymore because I touched d*ck and @$$ while in Swinging Richards last weekend while I was in ATL. But anyway lol, I think saving yourself is a noble thing to do. If you are losing money and satisfaction, ESPECIALLY money, then you will want to find other ways. Holding yourself back from having sex requires discipline and focus. I've been tempted quite a bit but I just cannot bring myself to having sex with someone I just don't know very well and don't care about but then I wonder.. does going to the strip club and having 3 private dances mean that I don't have discipline?
What's stopping you from being properly devoted to a relationship now? Is it school or are you trying to establish your life a bit more? Maybe this means you're ready to start trying to find a connection with someone now rather than depriving yourself.
I'm trying to get myself established and doing what I ant to do for the rest of my life. That means I'm going to be doing a career switch next year to follow my dreams. The thought of entertaining a relationship is hard to fathom with all that right now.
If you feel like abstaining is something you really need to do,I'd say try to channel that energy into productivity. But I think part of your problem is feeling deprived.Sounds like you need to find a balance between dating/romance and work that is practical for you( and doesn't cause you to lose money and satisfaction ).Maybe you can date and meet some guys for now until you're ready to commit.
Nothing magical is going to happen the day you turn 30 if that's what you are thinking. Now, waiting until you get yourself stable in your new career direction before entertaining relationships is a smart move, less distractions. But TBH, nothing wrong with some fun along the way.
First off I want to congratulate you for abstaining from sex. Noble move. I abstained fromm having sex until I was 26 when I got married. I valued it and to a degree still do to this day. After being divorced and single for 3yrs, I can't say abstaining is the first thing on my mind. But I will say valuing sex as an act of love is an awesome mindset. Don't put a date on it because life and the universe don't work that way. Be organic and just flow with life objectively. Don't use sex as a fix. While some may disagree with me, it can be emotionally draining in the long run. I suggest you have fun, stay focused on the big picture and know that while abstaining is great not becoming a whore is greater!!! Find a balance that morally works for you
Are you sure nothing magical is going to happen? Dang I was kind of banking on that. Stability by 30 is the goal to allow me to entertain a serious relationship. I think I have changed my mind about this whole not having sex thing too.
Trust me and @ControlledXaos , nothing magical happens at 30 - other than your entry into the greatest decade of your LIFE!!! Go at your own pace bruh, but once your Harry Potter gets some...voila...magic
I decided based on the conversation here and the urge in my pants to go ahead and break that whole no sex thing and went through with the guy on Sunday.
Well I hope it was good too. Not trying to contribute to your delinquency... just saying it's okay to just bust one and be done.
I have to agree with a lot of the guys in this post. I did the same thing you did and thought turning 30 was going to some how change my life and make me more prone to dating and having some lasting and meaningful relationships with guys and that did not happen. For me now, just being open more to things and knowing who I am and what my boundaries are, has help me in this field more. Good Lucky Out there!