Confused or Conflict on an approach to a relationship with women

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by Desh92, Oct 21, 2016.

  1. Desh92

    Desh92 Squad Member

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    There is a young woman at my job who is really smart and out going and I aspire to do as much as she has at a young age. I have told her that, and I ask questions (She seems to have opened herself to me and is honest and I just listen to what she says. It's almost like "if I could just touch the helm of the garment maybe some knowledge could rub off on me. I could really see myself from learning from a person as herself because I want to do great things as well. She is only about 4 years older than Myself, I'm 24. (But she looks very young) If i were straight she would definitely be a great person want to know deeper.

    But I'm definitely not straight. Reason I mentioned this is that... though I really want to learn from her and think that taking an opportunity to build a friendship would be something to not miss out on

    She has said we should hang out several times
    Gotten my number
    We always end up talking (following your heart and life path stuff) & other folks have clearly noticed.

    But she had said she not that into men and seemed to not be looking get married to anyone anytime soon

    I want to know this woman in friendship. But I don't want to even in the slightest mislead her into thinking other things.

    Help! How to approach and friendship with a women.
     
  2. Jdudre

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    My two cents:
    As someone who has had several mentors and has gone through a few programs you have to know what you want from a mentor first and can they actually provide it.
    Second thing women go through a lot everyday all day a lot of it because of men and even though you may not be " like the others " and she may know it she may still be subconsciously a bit weary of what you real want from her cause seriously how many times have man used the I just wanna be friends line on someone
    The best thing you can do in this case is be as honest, open and understanding maybe she feels she can't provide you with what you want or need in that case move on to someone else and at a later time she may be more open to it.
     
  3. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

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    Men and women can have platonic relationships. It's not hard.

    You don't even have to let her know you're gay, yet. But if she's going to be a true friend, it's possible she'll figure it out or you'll end up telling her eventually.

    You said she's not that into men and it's possible that she's so busy doing it big, she ain't got time for no man. lol So I'd say just keep it as it is. If you want to just keep it business and a professional development/networking type of deal, you can do that as well. Find an event that you both would be interested in that's in the day time around lunch. Yall can hang out, do the event, eat, then go separate ways until you are back at work. Early enough to not be confused with anything else because you both can still have plans for the evening.
     
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  4. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    I do feel where you're coming from. In my past work experiences, I've found that women who were trying to befriend me were looking for more (sex, boyfriend, husband).
     
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  5. SwagJack

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    Too bad you can't delete comments.
     
    #5 SwagJack, Oct 21, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2016
  6. SwagJack

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    FUck.
     
  7. SwagJack

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    Definitely relatable. Even when I had a girlfriend.
     
  8. DreG

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    You can remove the text if you wish.Click "edit" and leave it as a blank comment.
    Screenshot 2016-10-21 at 23.09.29.png
     
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  9. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
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    Treat her the way you treat other friends,and the way they treat you.Approach this like any other friendship.If you feel like she's starting to feel more comfortable with you than you'd like,just put a little more distance between you two.Do like @ControlledXaos said and meet during the day instead of making evening or late night plans.
    Maybe her statements about not being open to romance are her way of saying she doesn't want you to ger your hopes up,so there may be nothing to worry about.
     
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  10. Luke Evergreen

    Luke Evergreen Squad Member

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    While It should be easy for gay/bi men to be friends with women, we tend to be more sensitive, share interest in men, I've personally found that most females at least at my age group 18-25 are too emotional and shady. I'm a very shy conservative guy so maybe it's just me. They love gossip, drama, and get offended and break up friendships with other females over petty things. And they use A LOT of sarcasm, never saying exactly what they mean, always hidden meanings. I don't want to generalize, so i would say a lot but not all are like this. I've found that the best friends for me would be either other gay guys or sensitive, less macho straight guys. I get that balance between the good qualities of both sides: straightforwardness and realism that men tend to have with the sensitivity and intuition expected of females.
     
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  11. LeMignon

    LeMignon Your Favorite Nephew
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    If it feels like there's more than friendship, then typically there is.
     
  12. ControlledXaos

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    "Chile, his thirsty ass tryna talk to me. Uhmm humm. Yeah, girl. Well I told him I wasn't in to men. Guuurrrrrllll yes! If he only knew. But uh... He did invite me to lunch and a B!tch is hungry so... We finna go to this Ruby Tuesday and imma gets me a salad and some tea. "

    download.jpg
     
  13. mysticalsoul

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    I would still try to be her friend even if she is crushing on you. If your intentions are clear that you think she is a genuine and inspiring person to be around, then it's your responsibility to make sure you do not lead her on by not being aware of how you coming off. Just be mindful of the situation overall. You should be good
     
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