CP, Convicted Felon & BiPolar

Yeah all of those details individually are workable for me...all of them together though...not so much...To have all of those attributes he would have to be someone I'd already known for a long time and kinda just "fell for" over time....Otherwise, him and I wouldn't be a good match.

 

What if he was still employed? To my understanding (absolutely could be wrong) doesn't cerebral palsy and bipolarism happen in infancy? Just curious, what makes you think he has cerebral palsy? Aren't there medications that can be taken for bipolar?

 

I could probably handle all except the unemployment. Hell. I didn't want to bed ate anyone during a time when I was unemployed. I am fine with the CP, amd even the BPD (if under active drug and psychiatric therapy)..and even the conviction, but that unemployment is a problem.

 

My ex is bipolar, and I don't think that I could deal with that going forward, unless they are actively trying to manage it. But add in the cp, felony, and unemployed.... That's defiantly a no go for me. It would take to much work to upgrade him to where I need him to be.

 

Last statement is truth, never date someone you feel you have to upgrade.

 

The bp would be the biggest concern for me, tbh. However, like many of u said, the biggest potential problem is the whole combo.

 

I could work with 2 and 4. It's probably because those situations are familiar. I have family members who have been able to bounce back from being locked up. I have humbled myself to guys who my be strugging with unemployment.Times are rough. I won't deal forever but the situation has happened to me. I am working now but currently without my transportation because of medical reasons has me set me right now. I will be back on the road in March. But it give me a tad bit more understanding to these situations.

 

I think I can deal with him being a felon and unemployed. As far as unemployment is concerned, I personally don't like how other guys put off others because of it. Stuff happen, people lose jobs & with a felony on his background, most companies are reluctant to hire you.

It only takes one mistake to get on your record for folks to look at you with their noses up in the air.

Yes, I'd date a man that is unemployed. I will help him get on his feet as long as he is TRYING to help himself in the process.

I could probably work with CP as well....the bipolar thing might take a little adjusting to depending on how severe it is.

 

Maybe because I'm young, naïve, and inexperienced....but each or a combo don't really kill things for me.

Unemployment: I'm cool with, I don't need sh*t from him so I can't see that as my concern.

Felony: Ehh, as long as it's not rape, child molestation, murder, or something like that, I'm cool. Second chances are nice, right?

Cerebral Palsy: Yeh, uhm, I would worry about it in the long-run because it concerns my partner's health but I wouldn't lose interest because of it.

Bipolar Disorder: This would be the only one that is a concern for me, especially if he is a person of colour. Mental illness is seen as a weakness and not an actual illness in our culture, so it would be tougher to adjust because we wouldn't be dealing with just his illness, we would be dealing with a lot more you know.

 

....that's kind of f*cked up, innit?

 

Yeah I think it is a bad idea to get with someone who you think you can 'upgrade'. The person who is felt to be in need of an upgrade will probably resent the idea that they are 'not good enough' as they are and it will cause problems. I dated one of these 'fixer-upper' guys way back when, and besides the insulting nature of being thought of as in need of improvement, there is usually a power imbalance-they have more and you have less.

I do want to point out that there is a difference, however, in just being a decent guy and trying to help someone achieve their goals, and seeing someone as basically inferior and in need of a serious 'upgrade' so they can meet your goals for them.

And the guy who was the fixer upper?-all of his relationships failed as the people who he chose got fed up with being 'less than' and hit the road. And he never really 'got' why that happened.

 

I can work with all, except BP, unless it's like the stage/type the Andre character in Empire has and can maintain.

As for unemployment, if he doesn't have a Life Sentence Unemployment Plan, that isn't a dealbreaker. It's optional to take care of me or assist in helping to do so. I will always do for self, but won't turn down someone willing to contribute to my fundraiser/liferaiser.

 

I definitely see where you're coming from. I don't see the need to "upgrade" anyone that you're dating. Don't get me wrong, if you're wanting better for your partner and trying to help them become better, I'm all for it yeh....but the "I gotta upgrade this n*gga" thing is very demeaning and kinda a dickhead mentality.


I'm sorry, I'm probably sensitive about this yeh. I've been on the receiving end of being told I'm "too good to date" and it's always been a problem for me....personally, I don't want nor need sh*t from any n*gga I'm dating and I surely not need nor want him to being anything for me....all I can really ask for is that you actually like me and be there for me the way that I am there for you....and that's literally it.

I don't know, I guess I don't want anyone to ever feel inferior to someone else....especially someone they are dating. It's just kinda f*cked up to me to look at someone that likes you and be like, "let me upgrade this n*gga."