dealing with very inquisitive mentees

I was apart of a community service program in college where we would go to local schools and education programs to tutor and mentor kids. I also briefly was an adviser at a high school. It really depends on you on how open you are to to share your personal life. Kids are very inquisitive especially if they see an highly educated young black male (its surprisingly rare for some of them to even see this) they feel they can relate to and want to know Everything about you lol. They will want to know if your dating or seeing anyone but I told my kids I was single and working on school and make money they understood. But they prob though I was just f*** randoms lol smh. I know when I was dealing with urban high school students one girl tried to openly flirt with me in Spanish (her teacher caught on right away and stepped in). One boy asked did I go to the strip club (I acted like I didnt hear the question). Only one HS boy asked if I was gay (I lied and said no) but I think he secretly had a crush on me cause he called me his baby once and thought I didn't hear it smh. So its just up to you on how much you choose to reveal.

 

I had one student openly ask in a group of girls recently if I had a boyfriend. And I replied "no." Then if I had a girlfriend. And I replied "no." If I liked men. And I replied "no." Then she asked do you like girls. And I said "no." Then I asked "why is this information helpful for you in anyway shape or form?" Then she just left me alone afterwards. I'm actually glad that she was so straightforward though, because I hate when people are thinking things, will talk for days about you behind your back but never ask, or create their own stories.

 

Kids today are a lot more open with personal questions towards adults than in times past.
I didn't feel it was appropriate or neccessary to be that honest with the kids because a moments honesty could have a lifetime of severe repercussions.
Deeply personal questions like dating and stuff like that I kept simple and redirected the questions and it is inevitable that it will come up at some point.
My first mentee was 10 and he and his sister were trying to hook me up with their mother as soon as they found out I was single.
My second unofficial mentee that I wound up with by default was a little older at 14 going on 27 and was extremely curious and precocious.
Every word or question from him always needed to be paid attention to because there was always something leading behind it.
He never came out and asked me if I were gay or whatever but he would drop a lot of hints that I ignored because I didn't feel it was a safe or wise idea to let him open up to me like that.
The third mentee was a slightly flamboyant large picked on kid who was finding it hard to find a mentor and asked me to be his and I of course couldn't turn him down even though I knew it could be very difficult but as soon as I said yes, he messed up somehow and was out of the program.

 

Such a tricky situation. On one hand, I believe anyone in a kind of mentor position should be honest with the mentee, respond to all questions wisely, and keep the relationship at the mentor/mentee level. However, if you are at a professional job as a mentor, I would suggest keeping things as minimal as possible with personal questions. Lucky for me, my mom introduced someone to me as a mentor when I was around 17, since she knew no other black, gay men who led responsible lives; therefore, we were able to go deeper with personal questions because my mother understood the situation.