Depression

Discussion in 'Mental, Medical and Sexual Health' started by Jdudre, Nov 5, 2015.

  1. Jdudre

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    SO for the past few years now I have been dealing with depression. I have been seeing a therapist and doing things to keep my mood up and change my way of thinking but sometimes its hard. I guess I wanna know what do some of you guys who have gone through depression done to keep yourself from not being complete blue
     
  2. OckyDub

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    To my understanding (not Googling) there is a difference between chronic and situational depression. You stated "past few years", so it may seem for you it may be chronic or long term situational (by all means correct me if I'm wrong with my terminology here).

    Anywho...I have said to myself "do I want to be happy and what am I willing to do to make myself happy because I deserve it?" That is what started me down my path. The only recent "depression" that I had was with my job and I quite that bitch 2 months ago.
     
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  3. acessential

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    Depression is rough. I can see you're already on the right track with talking to someone about it. I don't really have anything profound to say. I just know it's a struggle. I've seen other people go through it and I've dealt with it in the past. The thing about having someone to talk to is it has to be consistent. You build on it each time you discuss. Different techniques work for different people but one of the things I did was keep track of things that made me happy each day no matter how small they were. It could be something as simple as a person smiled at me when I walked down the street. It was nice to try and find the silver lining even when I felt like everything was going wrong. Good luck man. I wish you all the best.
     
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  4. Jdudre

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    Its more of a situational depression, from what I have been told, long term manly due to transitioning out of the army and trying to find my place in the world. It didn't help that a few " hard life knocks" came calling during that time.
     
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  5. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I've dealt with bouts of depression. I've been seeing a therapist. At one point I was even on Paxil. I stopped taking it because it made me gain weight. How I deal with depression is going to the gym. The therapy helps, but the gym is how I deal day to day stress. It also helps that I've set a goal on improving my employment situation and have been sticking to it.
     
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  6. Jdudre

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    I feel you on the gym front going to the gym helps alot
     
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  7. Jaa

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    I was diagnosed with depression many years ago. I'm not sure it ever left, I just stopped seeing doctors and taking meds after a few months because I questioned whether it was necessary and didn't feel a substantial change, though the afflicted are often not best at diagnosing themselves. I did continue seeing counselors for some time afterwards. It felt good talking and venting to a neutral party.

    I tried to address issues that seemed manageable and minimize damage to other areas of life. I left school because I had just failed most of my classes and there was a possibility that I could return if I could prove I improved my state of mind. Eventually, I began looking into changing my diet and becoming more active and lost a substantial amount of weight. But despite some ups like going back and getting my degree and the weight loss, I've made a lot of questionable decisions and often have a fairly dark mentality that I keep somewhat concealed from most.

    I'm not sure what I'd suggest. Try not to isolate yourself. Maintain a comfortable distance from those close to you if you feel it's necessary but shutting people could make you lonely and them confused. They say exercise helps. I know I often feel better when outside breathing "fresh" city air, walking around and people watching. When I have the opportunity to get away from the city and out into nature, it's relaxing. Talking with my nerdier acquaintances about stuff that most people I know don't care about is comforting.

    I'm not sure. Part of me thinks you should try to do healthy things that you enjoy and reach out to your closer loved ones, but I've also been in states in which I don't want to talk to anyone and feel that I've lost interest in most, if not all, of my hobbies. Then after some time and reevaluation, I decide to change my outlook. Maybe mine is more situational than clinical, though it's lasted for quite some time. And I know it can sometimes be frustrating repeatedly hearing similar advice.

    Take care of yourself. You took the right step by finding a therapist. If you ever come to the conclusion that they aren't helping, seek other alternatives rather than giving up on therapy altogether. I've found that I enjoy working with some much more than others.
     
    #7 Jaa, Nov 6, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2015
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  8. OckyDub

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    Interesting. My partner has had bouts of depression steaming from the military and takes medication due to PTSD. He also was on some meds that he had to stop taking because they made him gain weight.

    My point...a lot of times we are more similar than you know AND a majority of the time, your problems are not unique. We as black people and men don't like to discuss parts of our true selves.
     
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  9. Jdudre

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    That is so true all around. The hardest part for me out of the whole thing is trying to be positive and not let my mind wonder dark and twisted roads which can be hard at times. But I am getting out of it slowly but truly
     
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  10. DreG

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    My advice for countering depresion is always activity.Stimulation is the exact opposite of depression so literally work through.Some kind of activity that keeps you moving helps you to work through it ,even when you don't realize it.Otherwise the stagnation fells like it's swallowing you whole and you can't escape it.You gotta work through those hard moments and days,so the best way to do that is by moving forward.
    And do things that give you some sense of obligation.Being needed will help you to not dwell unnecessarily on yourself,or rather your issues, and do something progressive.
     
  11. African King

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    I saw a psychiatrist and therapists. I was never diagnosed with clinical depression or clinical anxiety by them but they told me to keep talking it through and the treatment given to me by the psychiatrist was to begin an exercise regimen. I started that and I have not looked back.

    My anxiety and depression (possibly "situational" I guess) was mostly tied to my sexuality and living a lie to please my parents. I went so far as to believe a story that I told myself over and over again. Long story short, I was in medical school for one year and the experience was tough. I ended up leaving that program for medical reasons, mostly tied to the anxiety and depression. Then during my downtime from school, I realized I made the wrong choice so I am finding my way on the right path in graduate school for anesthesia. I still get to do the medical field but have time for other things I want to do when I finish this 27 month program. Medical school and becoming a doctor would not have allowed me that freedom. I would not have been happy. My parents would have been happy to have the first doctor in the family but then I would have most likely been miserable. I started to really form my own identity outside of the one my parents created for me from childhood around 22 or 23 years old.

    The key is management. We are all built differently so while you might think you're the only one going through it, others are dealing with mental or other health issues too. For me, I manage it by healthy living, exercise, fueling positivity into my life... I hope you find what works for you buddy! All the best!
     
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  12. Nick Delmacy

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    Its a coincidence that this was posted because on my list of podcasts to do is a whole episode on Depression and Black Gay Men. A heterosexual black friend of mine once told me, "suicidal thoughts have haunted me since I was 18." So its not even just gay men that are affected by this.

    Even I have been (and continue to get) depressed. My depression is like a Caribbean rain though, it comes and goes within minutes. I joke to my brother that I'm probably a lazy bipolar. I've never been so depressed that it was diagnosed or that I seriously considered suicide, but I think all black men have thought about suicide and have been depressed at least once or twice in their lives for various reasons.

    I may not be much help in this thread, but I'll repeat what has already been said. What gets me out of a funk is activity. Tearing my attention away from the causes of my low feelings to things that actually make me feel good about myself and the rest of the world we live in.

    Unfortunately, other people are the causes for our depression. So separating yourself from others can help, but isolation can eventually exacerbate feelings of loneliness so its a double edged sword.
     
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  13. SB3

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    I think it's rly important to speak up. Its common for us to not want to 'burden' others w our 'stuff', but thats just a part of reality. I had a college 'friend' (close friend to 1 of my close friends) commit suicide by jumping off of a building a few years ago. While I wouldn't have considered us 'close', I'd have loved to have been the ear for her 'stuff', if it could have prevented the outcome.

    Most of us have had our bouts, but I rly think the most important thing is to speak up. Get some of those feelings off of ur chest. Soooo many ppl can relate.
     
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  14. @yahoo.com

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    Depression is serious. I have dealt with it at various points in my life. My approach is now holistic. I try to eat right, I pray and meditate. The biggest thing for me and one other person I knew was to stop drinking (not saying that you do) but that is something that worked tremendously for me as well as working out regularly and finding a spiritual community that works for me (I chose one that motivates and empowers, rather than condemns and makes one feel wrong for everything.) Good luck to you man. It truly is an uphill battle but I know you can conquer this and be victorious.
     
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  15. grownman

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    I am glad this was started because it's something I have dealt with for years since I was a teenager. It gets really bad during this time because of the holidays. I have made one attempt when I first came out in my early 20s to leave here. It was not successful and I got scared, never tried it again. But, I try to talk with folk I can trust and my faith has helped me a lot. Good topic-especially after watching the short film featured on the main page.
     
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  16. DreG

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    Talking is always good.When you let the thoughts fester they're more likey to turn into behaivors.
     
  17. DreG

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    We need to start some kind of support thread where guys can post their issues or just say they need someone to talk to and then we can reach out from there.
     
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  18. Tyroc

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    For myself, it's like what @DreG mentioned

    Knowing that I'm needed. This has been a major cause for depression not hooking in too deeply and the blue keeping me.
    I wear a lot of hats when it comes to my Sister & Niece and that sense of love and responsibility to them and even my dog is stronger than anything I've gone or am going through.


    When I was going through an almost overwhelming bout of a situational depression a little while back, I found that isolating myself from pretty much everybody with the exception of my Sister made the situation more manageable for me to deal with.
     
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  19. GaTekno84

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    #1 get professional medical help.

    A lot of people get the winter blues. I go down to miami 2-3 times every winter to counteract it. Even just planning and getting ready for a trip gives you something to look forward to. Also, I havent tried this but a tanning bed may give the same effect.
     
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  20. SB3

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    Never sleep on what 'opening up' to the ppl in ur life can do. @DreG is a real life homie. Met him here, on CA!
     
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  21. grownman

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    How have you been doing since this was posted? I admit that I haven't been dealing with mine to well. So, I am sitting back and let good people surround me.
     
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  22. Sean P

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    @Jdudre, I can be a guarded MF, but depression is such a serious issue that I want to speak up. I am so glad that you posted this thread and are addressing your situation head-on. That is strength!

    My brother committed suicide 7 weeks ago as of tomorrow. The outside world would never have known that he was struggling. I wish that he hadn't been the stereotypical Black man who thought that seeking help was a sign of weakness.

    It appears that you have a supportive community on this site who not only understand the challenges of depression, but can recommend available resources to help you and others stay on track (THANK YOU Cypher Avenue!). Congratulations for recognizing that this is not your fight alone. And, as many others have said already, all the best to you. We've got your back!
     
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  23. SB3

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    Btw, dont hesitate to reach out on here! We're a rly big group of guys who live/work/operate in diff lanes.
     
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  24. grownman

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    Thanks for sharing this.
     
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  25. NikR

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    I am really, really sad that this happened and I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're feeling.

    A lot of times suicides go unnoticed and unrecognized. And this really hurts the people who are struggling afterwards. I don't know what your comfort level is, or if you're even ready, but if you do become ready to talk to others going through this really difficult time, you should think about visiting a bereavement group. If you want more info, check out SAVE | SAVE Suicide Bereavement Support Group Database .
     
  26. alton

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    I've suffered from "depression" ever since I was about 10-11yo. Whether it's "medical" or not, I don't know, but I can pinpoint the start and the cause of it now, in hindsight. I've never taken drugs for it (well...ONCE, I took some anti-depressants for like 2-3 days and they made me feel 100x WORSE) and it is most times a struggle to deal with it from day to day. For me at least, its not always as easy as "well find something that you like to do..." because there's not a lot that I like to do. The gym helps, when I get into a routine, gardening helps during the warm weeks here, but other than that, eh...
    But along the lines of drugs, I watch a really good YouTube video on Psychotropics. It's a LOOOOOOOOOOONG video and I'm sure some don't have the attention span to watch, but for those that do it's an eye opener.

     
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  27. ColumbusGuy

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    I would advise anyone to not watch this, or watch it with a huge grain of salt.

    This video is from The Citizens Commission on Human Rights. This group was founded in 1969 and is a branch and part of Scientology. Scientology is not a science, it is not a religion-it is a cult. Scientologists are strongly against the use of ANY psychotropic drugs and this commission is heavily agenda and propaganda driven. You have to be sure of where your info is coming from. If you have concerns about psychotropic drugs, do your research for sure, but know where the info is coming from.

    Also almost all psychotropic drugs take more than two to three days to be effective in treating depression and there is no way to tell based on that time frame. Some of them do have side effects that can be immediate and severe in certain cases so I am not questioning the 'feeling worse' part here. IMO psychotropics are often overused and used for the wrong reasons, but the science behind them shows that they do far more good then harm when taken appropriately for the right reasons. Countless lives have been saved by them.

    Do the research and come to your own conclusions. *might be reaching here but...this is particularly important in black communities where there appears to be a greater stigma attached to mental illness, the acknowledgement of mental illness, and the treatment of mental illness. I would hate to have a piece of propaganda from a cult cause someone to not seek appropriate treatment of a mental health issue.

    *Sorry @alton ...This is not an attack on you or your beliefs, but I have very stong opinions about Scientology and the damage that they have done and continue to do-especially when it comes to this issue.

    Scientology is and has a long record of being anti-gay.
     
    #27 ColumbusGuy, Feb 29, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2016
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  28. Jdudre

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    I have been doing good talking to somebody has helpeda lot. Don't get me wrong its not all sunshine and rainbows nothing is but one of the things that you have to know and they say is that its okay to be sad and depreesed, its a natural part of being human and it will left with time, and friends, and family. You just have to be able to speak up and try to communacate with people how you feel and a lot of people want get it because for whatever reason. That is not on you its on then, you have to find the thing that makes you want to keep going however small or stupid it might be .
     
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  29. Jdudre

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    Thank you for sharing and I am sorry for your lost.
     
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  30. alton

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    I'm no supporter of Scientology by any stretch of the imagination, nor did I realize this video had any ties to them however, I can speak personally on the negative effects of psychotropic drugs. My younger cousin (he's in his late 20's now) was put on Ritalin when he was about 8 or 9 yo and was kept on it well into his high school years, because of "Hyper Active Disorder and ADD". The effects the drug has had on his brain are CLEARLY evident as he is to this day crazy as bat sh!t. I know of a few other more distant family members and family members of close friends around his age (that was the "thing" in the early 90's to slap kids on Ritalin) that were also on the drug for most of their young lives and now have a few screws loose in their adult years. Maybe these drug are beneficial to some, but there is no way it can be denied that this is an industry being peddled on to the public. One would honestly have to be a complete fool not to see that. Again, I'm no fan of Scientology however, the info in this video regarding the shady side of the Psychology/Pharmaceutical Industries I'm sure is more fact than fiction.
     
  31. Jdudre

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    sounds like the psychiatrist that was treating your cousin did not know what they were doing or did not care.
    every single person biochemestry is unique to then so when a person takes a drug anything real there is a chance it will fuck then up. That is why personalezed medicen is such an imporant and exciting thing because when it works we will be able to give drugs to people that are made for then and them alone. Till then we have to work with the model we have now.
     
    #31 Jdudre, Feb 29, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2016
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  32. alton

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    Not to drag this thread off topic, but ColumbusGuy and myself were speaking of SCIENTOLOGY, a psuedo-religion, not science overall. And it wasnt just one psychologist and one doctor that dealt with my cousin, there were many of each over the course of the years.
     
  33. Jdudre

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    Oh I know, but a lot of people hold the same belife about drugs and about science genral without the benift of scientology.
     
  34. ColumbusGuy

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    I agree that there is an industry now that profits off of these drugs big time. I also agree that psychotropic drugs are overmarketed, sometimes overprescribed, and often prescribed for the wrong reasons. Psychotropic drugs are not for everyone who suffers from depression(or other issues), and they can be prescribed for a limited time as well(some people, if not most people, with depression do not have a long standing clinical depression), and can and in many cases should be used with other forms of therapy besides drug therapy.

    I was speaking about psychotropic drugs related to treating depression fairly specifically, given the thread title and all. Most of them are not drugs of abuse. Ritalin is not used for treating depression, as you noted, and is a drug of abuse and has had all kinds of problems with being overused(IMO). Hell technically cocaine and caffeine are psychotropic drugs. I was responding particularly to that video by that group. I don't want anyone to get drawn into that group for any reason. Again that is why I said that my response was not an attack on you or your experience or beliefs, but more regarding that video and that group exploiting the times when drugs for depression have not worked or have been misprescribed in order to further their stated agenda that all drugs for depression are bad-that is the scientology belief. People have died because of that. I do not want anyone to get inadvertently drawn into that cult.

    Again the debate about the effectiveness, necessity, etc. of drugs prescribed for depression(and other psychotropic drugs) can go on, I would just prefer to leave the cult called Scientology out of it. And just from watching a small part of the video, I can see that it is agenda driven, when what is really needed is information that is from an unbiased(or less obviously biased) source, so again I would caution anyone interested in this subject to forego that video. Find the info you need from a more reputable source.

    *Also I have worked in and around the health care industry for the past 20 years and I have heard lots of bad things about Ritalin and other meds for ADD/ADHD being over prescribed and being used incorrectly overall. These do not work if given to people who do not need them, and since they are drugs of abuse for those who do not have ADD/ADHD, there have been lots of problems with them-give my kid(I just know he has ADD..he is a handful for me) some Ritalin(so I can abuse it myself) etc. You have brought up good points about this, as well as the real problem regarding 'Big Pharma'-and I agree there is a problem with it. I think the $cieno thing just got in the way.
     
    #34 ColumbusGuy, Feb 29, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2016
  35. ColumbusGuy

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    I just want to thank you, as others have, for sharing this very personal information. You have my condolences and I hope that you have people to talk about his with, and if you need it, there is grief therapy available as well.
     
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