Dude is Suspect

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by acessential, Dec 14, 2015.

  1. acessential

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    By virtue of the theme of the site, many of us don't immediately set off other peoples' gaydars when we walk or talk. But we're not completely knuckle dragging Neanderthals either. What is a character or personal trait of yours that might lead someone to think you're gay? It's usually something that you probably wouldn't immediately mention when you're hanging around a bunch of straight dudes. Obviously it's based on stereotypes. I'm sure straight men could list some of the same things. It's just fun. Anyway, the first thing that comes to mind is some of the shows I enjoy watching. I'm the type of dude who enjoys Scandal, Charmed, and Sailor Moon. I'm sure people who know me could probably point out other things as well.
     
  2. cypher21

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    Lol Sailor Moon is the biggest red flag XD! (Joking I liked SM growing up too!) That's a great question, honestly like you I'd say mainly my interests or lack of certain interests. Not into sports and if you were to ask me my favorite artists I'd mention MC or Sade vs a rapper or some band although I enjoy all kinds of music. Really the one thing that has always made me stick out like a sore thumb is when guys (or females) talk about girls or ask me what I think of someone!!

    Now I do find women attractive, I can tell when one is obviously but I'm just not good at being thirsty for one lol!

    Straight Guy: "MAN she got a FAT A$$ don't she brah?!?"

    Me:
    "OOh Yeaaah I-I suuure would hit that...mmhhmm"
    [​IMG]
     
    #2 cypher21, Dec 14, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2015
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  3. Nick Delmacy

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    Music is always eyebrow raising...although I know it shouldn't be. In theory, a straight man should be able to appreciate a sexy female singer since their image is usually geared towards attracting them. However when I see men being super-fans of Beyonce, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, etc...It's Suspect...

    This one handsome str8 dude on my Facebook timeline was posting A LOT about the last Brandy album when it came out...I suspected he was gay...So I started liking random comments on his page to get his attention...Sure enough, soon after, I got a message in my inbox for small talk, eventually he said he had a crush on me and asked if I was offended by that (yeah, I know). Told him that I got down as well and that I thought he was attractive too. Then we went out on a (weird) date. Point is, that music gave him away...I even told him that was how I knew...
     
  4. Dante

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    When you're in the "hood", if a guy walks passed you, you look back and he's still staring at you in a checking-you-out way, that's very suspect. I had a few guys who are well known hood n****s in my neighborhood do that to me over the years or so.
     
  5. BlackguyExecutive

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    I think it probably boils down to my interests - I like doing a lot of cultural things and frequent museums, underground music and art scenes and I like cooking, like really like cooking. I downloaded the ESPN app on my phone and review it daily so I can make small talk with some of my straight male colleagues and my boss.
     
  6. Artistic Arsonist

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    Even then, you said more than I ever did. I would just say yeah and smirk before changing the topic lol.

    I think the biggest red flag is having little to no interest in women. Never a comment, a crush, or anything like that. At least, that's how I was. As for kids, an early sign is when, while shopping, they only appear to be interested in toys and the men's underwear department. One time, I was staring so hard, I walked directly into a huge sign! Everybody who saw started laughing lol.
     
    #6 Artistic Arsonist, Dec 14, 2015
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  7. SB3

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    Lmao
    :deadmanny:
     
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  8. Dr. Strange

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    A friend of mine says my mannerisms give me away, but he's never really fully explained that to my satisfaction. The lack of interest in women might do it as well. I've heard the "you walk differently" which again, not quite sure what that means. My voice sounds a bit nerdy and most nerdy things are not considered "manly" usually.

    I don't know, maybe @Nick Delmacy @ockydub @Discordant @JodyBell87 or @hannibal could give more insight since we've all heard each other.
     
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  9. cypher21

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    Lol wow that must've hurt! Yeah I don't actually say stuff like that I usually just nod or say yeah too. I recently had this super awkward conversation with the drummer of my church one Sunday after service where he kept commenting on how fine some of the girls were and how he would do this and that if they were older (the girls are high school age, he might be in his mid twenties) and he kept nudging me and egging me on for validation I guess but I was like..:whut: Can we not in the church please Tyga!?! LOL! I didn't know what to say, I just laughed nervously and excused myself from the conversation. I literally just walked away. Haha
     
  10. SB3

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    I was gonna say, my spotify is prob the only thing that could give me away. I'm not a typical gay listener, lol, but I have music that could make someone think I'm either 60 or a gay. I also sing when I'm on the elliptical machine...
    :yeshrug:
     
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  11. Cyrus-Brooks

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    Any dude that's over 30 who is handsome, in shape, doesn't have a wife, girlfriend, baby mama, kids, and is very secretive about his personal life. Sends up a red flag. Also dudes who are meticulous about what they wear, are always "fashion forward," and always well groomed are suspect to me.
     
    #11 Cyrus-Brooks, Dec 14, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2015
  12. SB3

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    This.
    :rejoice:
     
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  13. Cyrus-Brooks

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    Another thing I forgot to mention bruthas that are very polite and or friendly are also suspect to me.
     
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  14. Artistic Arsonist

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    The members of your church need to keep an eye out on this dude! He's trying to get some May-December action when the girls JUST entered February lol. I would've walked away, too.
    But I remember this one time in the worst years of my life (middle school), my friends tried to get me to stare at this one girl who was bent over picking something up. I did just that. for 10 seconds, too. But I had the blankest, most unimpressed, I-just-can't-feel-the-magic-y'all face ever! I couldn't bring myself to fake it lmbo!
     
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  15. grownman

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    Hahahahaa! I am sorry Cyh, damn that was funny as hell!
     
    #15 grownman, Dec 14, 2015
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  16. alton

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    This is my red flag, then. I'm an a$$hole, but I'm a very polite a$$hole.
     
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  17. bpaisle

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    This is exactly what I was going to say. I feel like any guy who somewhat takes care of themselves and care about how they look is suspect. I also had a conversation with my cousin one time about calling women b*tches and black people calling each other the N word and I offered my opinion on both and at the end he said, and I quote, "that's gay".
    image.gif

    "Tha fuck"
     
  18. alton

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    My red flags would be...
    1. Everything Cyrus mentioned (minus the gym body and dressing. Th My body fluctuates between "gym" and "str8 thin". The meticulous dress, as mentioned in a previous post, I really don't give a f#$k about now in my "old age" LOL)

    2. Distinct lack of interest in the opposite sex and sports. I will PLAY sports without issue, but I refuse to watch it on TV. Sh!t is boring as hell to me. It kinda pisses me off when chicks try push up on me. Mainly cause I'm just like, damn, why can't DUDES hit me up like this? And the few times a do end up in a conversation with a str8 dude and they start gettin into chicks, I pretty much get the same face Mariah has in that GIF. One, because I don't wanna hear that sh!t and two, because its disgusts me how dudes talk about chicks sometimes.

    3. Musically I guess I give signs but, I like so many different types I could just be viewed as eclectic.
     
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  19. grownman

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    I would say that I wasn't into girls. Here I am 16 and starting to get hair on my chest and chin. My voice started to get deeper and I was coming out of that awkward looking stage. Everyone and I mean Everyone around me was dating, having sex, some even had baby mamas or daddies. My ass was into damn Power Rangers, sci-fi/fantasy, and soap operas. Yeah, I know. Huge red flag.
     
  20. acessential

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    Shit, I still like Sailor Moon. I was watching that shit this week. And that Mariah gif is all the evidence I need, bruh. lol
     
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  21. acessential

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    I'm guilty of assuming this sometimes too. It's sad.

    *Meets a guy who's nice*
    "Is this dude gay?"
     
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  22. alton

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    Funny thing, I usually use that as the "Not Gay" indicator. Anytime I meet a guy who's handsome, genuinely friendly, and not judgmental, just all around cool, that's my indicator that he's straight. Hasn't failed me yet. Gay dudes (at least here in NYC) tend to have inherently shady undertones, and are not generally known for being polite or nice.
     
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  23. Discordant

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    I'd say you definitely sounded "nerdy." There's also a "nerdy" walk that can translate as gay to black people @Dr.Strange.

    I never get suspected of being gay by anyone EXCEPT by (a certain subset of) black people and even then a lot of them just assume I'm boogie. I have heard that my "niceness" can give it away which I don't quite understand. And the fact that I'm really into the arts doesn't help things either. Since I'll be 30 in March and have been single since high school as far as they know, I'm sure that will start to get the church folks to wondering.
     
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  24. BlackguyExecutive

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    Yeah, that is my problem. I am polite. I always say thank you and generally very friendly.
     
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  25. GaTekno84

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    More than one of these and he's gay or thinking about being gay:

    2 door car
    On a diet or super health conscience
    Abs
    Lives downtown
    Has a roommate
    Moved to Atlanta at one point
    Secretive
     
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  26. BlackguyExecutive

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    Ok, explain have a two door car and lives downtown?

    [​IMG]
     
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  27. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I'll preface my remarks by saying this applies generally to black men. In my observation most straight dudes I come in contact with tend to be either stand offish or rude. Sometimes they're friendly but rarely are they polite. On the other hand dudes who are very friendly and well mannered tend to be be gay. That's not to say gay men can't be assholes because I'll admit I'm an asshole.
     
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  28. GaTekno84

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    2 door car - says he doesn't have kids or planning on having any. Women prefer guys with sedans because they look more ready to start a family.

    Lives downtown - this Isn't exactly a tell, but I would investigate more if this was true.
     
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  29. African King

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    I am guilty of this because I have had a few women during my time in college mention that gay men are always polite. For some reason no one ever asked me if I was. I was crushed on like no other. I didn't get it. I was picked up from pre-K all the way up until about maybe 10th grade. Then I had girls say that I started to "look like a man now" then guys that used to pick on me would try to have some type of positive rapport with me. Had me looking at them all crazy.

    Yeah I same here. People know I am polite. Since I've been in grad school, people notice that I am polite, hard-working, a loner, very private, etc. I still have guys joke around with me about going to King of Diamonds (all-female strip club) out in Miami. I sometimes think my classmates must know for sure that I am gay but then I wonder if they really think I am not. Who knows?
     
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  30. African King

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    LOL @Nick Delmacy I've had these conversations off the site with @DreG & @JNH412 about how music is a clear giveaway. Both of their stories made me laugh about how they got to know if a guy was gay based off his musical interests.

    I was posting and posting about Brandy back in 2008 when her 5th CD dropped and people wondered if I was getting paid to promote it lol. That was also the time when Facebook had that DUMB @$$ app called "Honesty Box". I had 2 random "friends" on FB tell me stuff like "you don't know you're gay" on there. Maybe posting about Brandy gave me away but I don't know lol.

    I don't come across many black guys out here but I will test that next time I come across more. I will just drop the bait about Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, and see what happens!
     
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  31. grownman

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    It's like that here in FL too. I know people always think that I am being critical-maybe. But it's been my experience, at least that I can remember.
     
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  32. cypher21

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    Then I chose the right one! Haha don't get me wrong I still love and watch my anime now! After reading other responses I kinda think it's sad that a friendly or polite guy has to automatically be suspect but I guess I would fall under that category so..:yeshrug:
     
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  33. alton

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    Well, I need to meet some of the gay dudes you run into, bro. Because these gay negroes in THIS city are something else completely. That's why I get tight most times because I'll (albeit rarely) become friendly with a guy (usually because said guy had the balls to approach me and ask for a cigarette, that's always an ice-breaker) and we talk, shoot-the-sh!t, become madd cool, eventually after a few weeks go grab a drink or two, exchange numbers, learn about each others like/dislikes/history/childhood/hobbies/etc and actually have some intellectual conversations and find out we got mad shit in common. I start feeling a dude based on all this 'ish, plus his personality, mannerisms, overall "it" factor is bomb as hell and BOOM, dude turns out to be straight. EV-VER-RY single time smh LOL
     
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  34. ControlledXaos

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    You have to be specific when its comes to two door cars.

    A Solara, Eos, Mini Cooper, Smart car.... Suspect.

    But with a Camaro or Challenger, they could be just typical black folk cars. Or a 370z and Vette definitely does not mean gay.
     
  35. Tyroc

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    Where to begin.

    I’m an irregular Russian National Interest

    A way over 30something, attractive (with really nice teeth ;) semi-articulate, adequately employed black male with no living children.

    I live in a “gayborhood” with an Italian Greyhound!

    I’m constantly referred to by all co-workers and neighbors as a true gentleman. I smile…a lot and am very polite AND speak proper (if not always accurate) english.

    Always offering and carrying a stroller or bag up or down train stairs.

    I get a lot of offers and attention from women on the job that I do not reciprocate, which pisses off my Lord Henryish co-worker who wants me to indulge in the freely offered debauchery.

    I can participate minimally in bullshit talk about sports and sports politics but hold no vested interest in watching or getting into the fantasy or gambling ends.

    I’m a huge, huge fan of movies, particularly old films.

    I’m not flamboyant, carry and conduct myself as man at all times and don't do much in the way of pretense on gay subjects, might be why despite all of the above “suspect evidence” I usually get the straight default.
     
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