Food for Thought: The Gay Guy Dating Straight Men Only Dilemna

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Dante, Jan 15, 2016.

  1. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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  2. Nigerian Prince

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    Very good read. I don't ever seek out straight men. I don't have that fantasy. My thing is just be "man enough" so to speak. At the end of the day, no matter what all men in general have masculine and feminine qualities and characteristics to varying degrees.
     
  3. Tyroc

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    I have a big crush on a married with children, straight coworker of mine.
    If he weren't married with kids, he'd be a damn near perfect match for me.
    We have a lot in common and enjoy each other's company. The things we don't have in common or agree on brings out intense, fun debates.
    He's a dude that likes campin', hikin', fishin', bowling, movies, shootin', playing catch (with a football, pervs!) comics, drinking & driving...not together, has a sense of humor and gets my perverse and sardonic humor.
    All of that coupled with his straight masculinity is highly attractive. Physically he's also got a solid build that I like.
    I don't harbor any foolish hopes on him but if I ever encountered his not gay, gay counterpart
    I'd do a 180 in my partner stance and drop to my knees and send u-haul for his things.
     
  4. cypher21

    cypher21 Deactivated Account
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    Yeah that was a great piece...I've fallen for straight guys but now I put up a wall when a encounter one. A lot of the points the author made about acceptance and internalized homophobia spoke to me because I don't get turned off by gay men at all but I could slightly understand where the writer was coming from..but he'll never be happy if he keeps feeling that way about men. *sigh*
     
    #4 cypher21, Jan 15, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2016
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  5. acessential

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    That's a really messed up paradox. You wanna be with a dude, but if they want to be with you too, that would make them gay, and that's a turnoff. Maybe he should date a bisexual dude.
     
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  6. alton

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    Interesting article. I've mentioned on here before, like many on CA, I'm very attracted masculine attributes and as such, unfortunately about 95% of the guys I find attractive end up being str8 (or, if gay, are not feelin' me). On the surface I can't say that any of the reason that dude listed are my own personal reasons for it. I'm just attracted to dudes that mirror my own masculinity. But for gay dudes that purposefully seek out str8 guys for whatever-ship, then yeah, there's some deep rooted (or maybe superficial) sh!t goin on there. Just like bottoms who wont get it in with a versatile guy. LOL Smh. A bunch of psychological sh!t that I don't have the patience to decipher and deal with.
     
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  7. ControlledXaos

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    I am glad that the Dr used "masculine" to define "straight acting" because that's what people mean. They want masculine men when they use that term.

    I saw several dating app ads where the bottoms wanted strict tops. Strict to the point where if the top had ever had penetration ever, was into performing felatio, or wanted to touch the bottoms penis at all, he wasn't masculine enough.

    I just found that really odd.

    I have found many straight men attractive because they are men, not because they are straight. I have also been turned off by wimpy straight men. My straight cousin had a birthday party for his daughter and he and his wife's house and most of the dudes there were setting off my gay dar. Not so that they were gay, they were just really soft, pushover type dudes. I bet only one of them could change a tire.

    The guy writing in clearly knows that there's a lot of baggage with any relationship with a person who had had only heterosexual relationships. That's just some therapy that I'm not willing to help someone through.
     
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  8. alton

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    Yeah man, I never totally "got" the whole "masculine acting" concept. Why the f$%k would I want someone who's acting masculine (that's half the dudes walkin' around here). I want someone who's genuinely a regular ol' man's man. LOL
     
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  9. OhSheit

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    smh, I just hope that nigga and anybody that's like him knows how to fight.

    Even though I haven't dated much I don't think finding a masculine gay man is that damn hard. I initially thought that I wouldn't find any masculine dudes to talk to but damn near every guy that I've talked to has been masculine enough for me, and I didn't seek for them it kinda just happened. Some people just have some crazy ass standards, but I guess masculinity is subjective so I'll give em that. I just don't understand the fuss sometimes.
     
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