GQ Suggests ‘Having Sex with Men Doesn’t Make You Gay’

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by OckyDub, Sep 1, 2016.

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  1. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    In 2016, it’s weird to think that straight men are still asking the question, “Does having sex with a man make me gay?” Our friends at GQ recently investigated a bit deeper into the subject.

    GQ interviewed a few guys who identify as straight who’ve all had same-sex sex with other men (gay or straight). Even after having sex with men, they still lean towards the straight side of the spectrum and identify as heterosexual.

    So, what makes someone gay? According to GQ, it depends on how you define the “label.” In this day and age, everything has a label — too many if you ask me. Regardless of social labeling, it’s important to recognize how people associate that label within their self-identities — “if we remove the label of ‘gay’ from sex acts we traditionally assume are only the domain of gay men, does this mean you can take part in them and still be straight?”

    James, a 28-year-old man who participated in the study, said he used to get regular blowjobs from a gay pal when he was a teenager. As a 17-year old, blowjobs weren’t exactly hidden around every corner, but for a coming of age teen with raging hormones, it seemed like the perfect deal for both him and his straight counterpart.

    Another participant named Mark, also 28, said that his colleague’s boyfriend once went down on him in a club bathroom. Another time, he got a blowjob from a stranger in front of his girlfriend at a sex party. Even now, he says he knows he’s straight.

    GQ asserts that at the end of the day, having sex with a man isn’t a sign of queerness — just as imagining pushing your evil boss under a truck means you’re a homicidal maniac. When people find themselves in sexually charged situations, primal instinct takes over, and shit happens.

    Is sex just sex? If you ask me, the answer is yes.

    There’s a difference between sexuality and orientation. Sexuality exists within us all; sometimes, we have sex with people we don’t necessarily find physically attractive; at times we do it to pass the time, and other times we have it because we crave sex. This is normal human sexuality — gay, straight, male, female; we can get off on all of it any given time.

    However, orientation is the sexual compass we use to navigate the sensual universe; it’s who we are in our hearts. It’s how our spirits identify itself in life, and that affects whom we love, how we love and how we live. It’s larger than just sex.

    “Gay sex acts aren’t something to be ashamed of,” GQ suggests. “If you’re man enough to do it and still call yourself straight, be man enough to talk about it. Don’t let it be a dirty little secret; own your sexuality — whatever that may by — with pride.”

    Men are sexual people. Why have we created this stupid notion that getting off diminishes our manhood? Trust me; it’s an ideology crafted by religion, cultural norms and, most importantly, habit.

    Let’s break the habit.

    David Artavia is an actor/writer from New York City, and founder of The Real Gay Guy. He loves living vicariously through his friends. Follow him on Twitter and Like his Facebook page.

    GQ Suggests ‘Having Sex with Men Doesn’t Make You Gay’ – Gayety
     
    #1 OckyDub, Sep 1, 2016
  2. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    Yes the physical act of sex and sexuality are their own department. But I am so tired of these 60/40 bisexual men and their gay on/gay off bs.
     
    #2 Dante, Sep 1, 2016
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  3. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    #3 OckyDub, Sep 1, 2016
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  4. JohnDoe

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    Human sexuality is fluid but most of humanity pretends it's not because discussing sex is taboo.
     
    #4 JohnDoe, Sep 2, 2016
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  5. GNerd2012

    GNerd2012
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    I don't think a few GQ interviews qualify as "investigation." I believe some neurological research is needed for a study like this. It's already been proven that the hypothalamus is different between gay men and straight men which shows a physiological difference; thus adding weight to the born this way argument. Next, we will need to examine if men whose hypothalamus matches the size of the heterosexual men's hypothalamus will gain an erection from stimulus from a male. Finally, is the stimulus visual or physical? I believe deciphering which mode of stimuli causing the erection will be important. Sometimes the penis will erect itself when stimulated by something minute like the breeze of wind, or the inside of our jeans. If the penis is erected from the visual of a man, then that will lead to great insight into whether sexuality is truly fluid or not.

    The statements toward the end of the article are profound. I do believe one of the core elements of masculinity is freedom of expression. When a man has to hide his "dirty little secret", then that is not manhood. Owning your sexuality and admitting that another man is turning you on is a great part of the psychosexual development of young men and older men. Religion has always been a bad idea, and I think it's primary purpose was always to effeminize the majority of men, subjugate the majority of women, and only allow a few to be the "supreme ones." That's why I'm a supporter of the Atheist movement.

    If a straight man is unable to be straight without having gay encounters (I assume being scientifically bisexual), then I want science to answer that. Not someone's made up God.
     
    #5 GNerd2012, Sep 2, 2016
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  6. SwagJack

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    I mean..what's your real issue with it? The fact that they're bisexual or your feeling that some bisexual men are "opting out" of gayness by choosing to sexually identify as bisexual? I'm more 70/30, but I get that from some folks who feel like I should "pick a side" or "stop hiding from myself."
     
    #6 SwagJack, Sep 4, 2016
  7. Dante

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    I have no issue with bisexuality. My issue is when (some) bisexuals will not keep it real ("I like what I like...I don't get into labels...I'm fluid....I'm gay, but...I'm straight, but...etc.). It is ok to be gay or bisexual. Just keep it real, whichever it really is.
     
    #7 Dante, Sep 4, 2016
  8. SwagJack

    SwagJack
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    I'm fine with folks defining themselves. However they see fit. Keeping it real is a mater of perspective.
     
    #8 SwagJack, Sep 4, 2016
  9. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    Keep it real is a matter of either you are or you are not. And if you are not, you are full of bullshit, even if you don't smell it.
     
    #9 Dante, Sep 4, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2016
  10. SwagJack

    SwagJack
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    It's subjective. Your truth ain't their truth and vice versa. Live and let live.
     
    #10 SwagJack, Sep 4, 2016
  11. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    And that is some bullshit.
     
    #11 Dante, Sep 4, 2016
  12. SwagJack

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    Ok.
     
    #12 SwagJack, Sep 4, 2016
  13. JodyBell87

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    I think defining sexuality amongst humans, is stupid. I think that if one human is curious about sexually exploring another, it should just be sex. Period. Everyone should try sex with the same sex, or opposite for that matter, at least once in life....my opinion.
     
    #13 JodyBell87, Sep 4, 2016
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