Have you ever been betrayed by someone you love ?

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by sekou, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. sekou

    sekou I be Jamaican
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    4 years I was in love with my best friend who was straight. Unfortunately at the same time I was in a relationship with my long time girlfriends, which was on the rocks. A scenario i knew wouldn't workout to be honest but the pain of hurting her, a genuine love and accepting my attraction was too much to express, so I stayed in the relationship and friendship.

    We met as friends a year prier, and hit off like best buds like that. We played video games for hrs, I helped him with his studies, We mentored each other through hard moral conundrums. He is the ladies man type having 2 -4 women at time and had one of the sickest bodies I have ever seen. Sometimes we would even sleep on the same bed and stare till we fell asleep, sometimes at each other. He stayed over my mom's place, where i was staying at the time, even more than my girl. He practically lived there, having his own room and shit. We played video games some more and he had this habit of walking around the house without shirt, (death) . Or he would randomly entertain a hug. (death) He would be there when I couldnt move in the bed from a gym injury, even going as far as holding my hand the entire night, when the pain was destroying every fibre of my being. (death) One day i couldnt bear it any longer and i told him how i felt (some Frank Ocean shit) He responded " I am straight bro, but we are still buds" couple months later he would tell me, he gets that feeling sometimes but he deletes it (I was destroyed)

    When the inevitable happened and i broke up with my girl, confessing my feelings for dudes...(long story) I and understandably she was crushed. I told him we broke up, leaving out the details. 2 days later she called me and told me that my friend, my best friend... who knew everything about me, began texting her that he likes her and immediately began flirting on the phone and in a meeting there after ...Told her my mom didnt like her...... He also told her that i was into dudes, not knowing i told her before hand. A secret so deep i told no one else... A cut so deep that still cant believe he of all people wielded the knife... he practically took my heart, my girl and took my soul, my secret. who knows who else he told. I confronted him immediately .... and he was silent .... the pain in that moment has never been surpassed ..... the feels ...... i just had to leave.
     
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  2. Tyroc

    Tyroc Deactivated Account

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    Man, that's rough.
    I've been betrayed in friendship and it also left a lot of pain and to be honest, I've also betrayed and hurt friends in kind.
    I know it won't lesson the feelings but I find it helpful in situations like this to look on it as one of the unfortunate life lessons to learn from.
     
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  3. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
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    I have been betrayed as well - I think to some degree we all have. The painful thing about it is we tend to think that we are smarter and a good judge of character, and the people we chose to be in our lives also have our best interest at heart and would not do anything o hurt us, including talking to our past lovers. @Tyroc summed it up best for me - it is a lesson, and deeper than that I tend to ask myself what I did to aid and assist this situation, or does Karma play a part in this betrayal. Hell, I deal with it in part by saying this is something that has come back to bite me in the ass.

    This past year I have been betrayed twice, and it cut deep. At work and with my ex. I do not let it stop me however, I use it as ammunition to move on and take the lessons I learned from those betrayals and arm myself better in the future. This feeling is new to me and it hurts but it is just validation that I was in the wrong situations and needed those events to show me just how much. the pain does pass, but the memories of how it made me feel makes me a bit less care free than I have been in the past with certain acquaintances and friendships.
     
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  4. BlackExcellence

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    Can definitely relate this past year I've been betrayed by my ex and 4 former best friends...the 4 former best friends I found out we're all talking about me and spreading my business and such. I've definitely become harder and I have much less patience for people. But I'm also more cherishing those in my corner.
     
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  5. ColumbusGuy

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    This was a terrible betrayal given this was someone you trusted with something that you had told no one else-and with something so incredibly personal. This will be hard and you just have to get through it-there will be more friends and more experiences to replace this loss

    I don't know your situation and I cannot imagine what it is like living in Jamaica being a gay or bisexual man, but It might be best to try to find actual gay men to befriend if you can-even if you are in the closet. You can't help who you fall in love with, but you can try to help how you decide to act on it.

    This betrayal must feel terrible, but I hope you can grow from it and know that you are young and have much more to look forward to in life. There obviously is a price to pay for being more open-certainly in your country, but even with that there is a price(maybe less of price there) to pay by remaining closeted. There is always some kind of price to pay for being 'unseen' and 'unknown' as who you really are. I am not judging you-your personal safety may be at stake for all I know-which is the most important thing really.

    Stay safe and well and let the people here know if you need support. You will get over this-you can get over almost anything in life if given enough time-people are incredibly resilient. Just hang in there and take care of yourself and do what you need to do to for yourself right now.

    I also speak from the experience of being both the betrayed and unfortunately, the betrayer as well.
     
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