I think he is hitting on me...

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by BlackguyExecutive, Dec 11, 2015.

  1. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    So I am sitting at my desk this morning working on a report plan and I get a call saying that we were getting an new staff analyst and that I needed to welcome him and get him settled and plugged into the program. So I go and meet this guy and he just seemed way to friendly for it to be his first day working with our team. After I showed him to his new office space and gave him the briefing book on what we are currently working on he was like....so what do you all do after work.....I was like "I usually go home to my husband and dogs" and the guy was like "oh that is nice"....then he was like "hopefully we can get together and you can show me around."

    Now, I like to think that I am a good reader of people, that is part of my job but I don't know what to think of this guy. Is he just being friendly because he is new? Was it flirting? It felt like flirting but that could be my own projections on the encounter? I don't usually engage in flirting. The Gifs below depict what just happened in my office.

    [​IMG]
    The New Analyst

    [​IMG]
    Me being bashfully confused....
     
  2. ControlledXaos

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    Well clearly he wasn't put off by you mentioning that you had a husband so that at least means he's gay friendly. But... This could be some Single White Female level stuff.

    Tread with caution, sir.
     
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  3. Dante

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    IS HE CURTE?...lol jk

    There's nothing wrong with flirting. However, in the workplace, you have to make sure you are cautious with everything that goes on. At this point, put the situation in a miscellaneous folder and keep it moving. If at anytime in the future he makes it very clear that he is flirting, just be smart about whatever you say to him and whatever you do. Not because there's no such thing as being gay and you are going to get fired. However, you want to avoid any miscommunications and wrong inferences that can be at your disadvantage.
     
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  4. acessential

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    It could be flirting, but it could also just be being polite. People have misconstrued my actions before as flirting when I really wasn't. Maybe dude is just gay and is happy to be working with someone who is also gay. I think I've done that before.
     
  5. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    Maybe he is just trying to make new friends at work?
     
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  6. OckyDub

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    This is coming on way to strong for the FIRST day at work.
    :whut:
     
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  7. BlackguyExecutive

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    That what I was thinking. I was talking with another FSO about it and she said that he just may be an eager beaver. It was funny though. I am just surprised by my reaction it is a mix of confusion and flattery. Nice to know I still got that swagger.
     
  8. BlackguyExecutive

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    Yeah we got some pretty strict rules about fraternization at the State Department. I am just gonna keep it professional and get back to work.
     
  9. tigerbreaux

    tigerbreaux Polymath In-training
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    If this is your very first, very brief interaction with him it's way too soon to tell. You haven't seen how he interacts with others or his personality style. While I'm sure you're good at reading people, I am too, I think you need to give it more time. It even sounds like he's not only new to the office, but new to the city as well, so some people get extremely friendly when they're nervous and trying to make new friends.
     
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  10. BlackguyExecutive

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    True. My work wife, saw me laughing at my computer screen and she asked me what I was doing so I told her that I posted my interaction on this site (she knows about CA) and she dead assedly responded with "I can tell you what the problem is, its that you are Awkward AF" and walks out of my office giggling.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. SB3

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    I was completely thrown once the 'so what yall do after work' comment came, on the first day...
     
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  12. BlackguyExecutive

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    Yeah, I don't think its his first day with the State Department, just his first day in our unit. The thing out the diplomat life every two years you move somewhere else.
     
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  13. Nick Delmacy

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    This is what I was thinking...I think it says just as much about the person who perceives the alleged flirting...A lot of people mistake being nice for flirting if they think the friendly person is attractive (eg: Heterosexual men with ANY friendly female server or bartender).
     
  14. Tyroc

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    Which is why I've been told that I confuse and frustrate a lot of people.
    I'm friendly, I smile and will ask questions like the analyst did.
     
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  15. DreG

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    :deadmanny:
     
  16. grownman

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    I just want to add-hate bringing up color. I've noticed in my experiences that white people don't seem to have all those social hang ups that many of us do. What many of us consider flirting most of the time is just a freedom of self. I can't really determine because I wasn't there but I don't think it's that serious. It is strange for a lot of black people because we don't act like that-most of us. I have noticed in my experiences that we are always on defense-especially black gay men and straight women. For example, I have a dude in my speech class (can't wait till that shit is over with) that is clearly gay. No if, and or buts about it. The professor gave us a group exercise and of course I got put with him. So, I try to make the best of the situation and ask questions based on what he instructed us to do. I asked for his input this is what I got from him:





    He was giving nonchalant answers and had what @DreG calls "resting bitch face." Just acting real stank and stupid. This is why I am always on defense around "us" until I feel comfortable and it should not be that way. So, he probably was giving me what I gave him. The energy seems to be different with other nationalities in social settings, at least to me.
     
    #16 grownman, Dec 11, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2015
  17. DFW Brutha

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    He could be HD'ing you...[​IMG]
     
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  18. SB3

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    I'll def cosign that white privileged has allowed them to be way less pretentious and concerned w what others think. Is what it is. BUT...u cant be running around here w the handle 'grownman' if ur putting ur own folks in a box by default. Go figure, a dude who u immediately peep as obvs gay has a chip or 2 on his shoulder...IJS
     
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  19. grownman

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    I agree.
     
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  20. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    At first I didn't know what you meant but thanks to the internet for clarifying. I think you may actually be on to something. Honeydicking or Honeypotting is something we in the diplomacy business call statecraft or better yet they call an extreme version of honeydicking Tradecraft. He could be trying to figure me out, I sometimes forget that I am in a business where getting a more powerful persuasive position is essential to one's success.
     
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  21. Discordant

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    I was just going to say, from what I understand of the FS, it is very competitive and most of that competition is social. He could be looking for allies or just trying to see where you stand. Or he could just be really friendly which I've heard sometimes gets misconstrued as flirting. Might be a combination of both. Just keep an eye out for now; I wouldn't react to it yet.
     
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