I'm A Feminine Gay Guy. Not Your Girl-Friend

I JUST CAN'T!!!

 

I love this video at first I was kinda of hesitant to watch it but i did and after wards I would defiantly say it was good and it brings up a lot of valid points that I are true about how people view gay men and fem gay men in general.
If someone is fem it does not mean that they are women just like not all women are feminine
and not all men are masculine

 

I feel you on this but you could ask if they get offended move along

 

lol I hear you. you can't do anything about that like I said if they don't wanna talk move on you can't do anything about it

 

From my understanding of him, I might be wrong, is that the straight dudes treat him like a girl, based on how they see him express himself. Its not in a derogatory or homophobic way, like 'when i am about to leave to go to the toilet, they stand up out of politeness', which is something straight gentlemen do to ladies. These guys he talks about I am guessing, are people he hangs out with 'they try to pay for my drinks'( btw i need str8 friends like this that will always try to pay for my drinks, then I will move it up to pay for my phone,then car, then my apartment in the South of France). Which in my opinion, would just be simple if he explained to them how HE wants to be treated, make-up/lipstick/lashes/blue contacts and all. Instead of painting a wide bush, like its all straight guys that do it or putting it under some kind of gay oppression by straight guys.
As society becomes more acceptable, in developed counties, people open their minds to things they might not have before, so their questions might be labeled 'stupid' and 'uninformed' but they ask to know. So we should not shut them down, but use that as a teachable moment so the next 'different' person they meet they will be well informed on how to address the situation.

 

I get what he was saying. Regardless of the fact that the man is feminine doesn't mean he is not a man. I think his comments were a critique of the identity politics we play.

 

Ok. I think he has some valid points but my takeaway is, these legit straight men are cool with him being a fem gay man. Pulling out a chair should be the least of his worries .

They are not making a big deal about his sexuality or feeling like they have to prove their manhood. Granted , it could be because this is the UK and the fact that he's fem his sexuality isn't an issue and he's perceived as a non threat. So if this is the case he should be comfortable enough with addressing his grievances to these guys .

"Aye, I ain't no b!tch ! Don't be opening no doe for me ! Mind the gap muh fuh ! "

 

You just can't win with some people. No matter what you do...you will offend. You can do the exact same things and be the exact same way with people who are nearly identical clones of one another and one will be pleased, the other pissed. smh.

My problem (with women also)is that I usually assume they are feminists and treat them like they are equals and not any differently, as in trying to treat them in some genderless way and not in some special way like they are 'female'. Which is fine with some, but then you have the hypocrites who want to be feminists but then want to be treated in a special chivalrous way at the same time(while being treated equally of course) smh. You can't have special rights and equal rights at the same time-but they don't get that.

I try to be the same around everyone. But it does not work, just like going into 'man mode' does not work-some feminists will get pissed at being treated differently, and having had my female friends being feminists(not the crazy kind) and wanting no special treatment, this is how I tend to act with women- nice but no special treatment. But there is always someone(usually a hypocrite) who is offended.


Regarding the video, yeah I get it, but really, over all can't you just be glad that you are being treated well, even though the treatment you get by some may be a bit stereotyped by some and less than ideal? Life is never going to be perfect.

 

Yeah. I mean if you want to be treated like a man , present like a man.

For example, this Young MA chick comes off very masculine. I'm sure she's not waiting for dudes to pull out her chair for her. If his mannerisms and dress read 'fem' that's going to be the way people perceive him and that's how they are going to treat him.

 

So....here's the thing. I WISH I could find some dudes that are as respectful as the ones he deals with. It is TOO MANY fuk niggas out here that couldn't give a damn if you gave them a spare.

However, I do understand it can be a little much to deal with constantly and starts to get annoying. I've had a similar experience with a "straight" guy that I became friends with and he would ask me very suspect questions (do you swallow? how does it feel?) and act so weird around me to where I'm wondering if he's just curious or CURIOUS...and I don't consider myself that feminine.