I'm having a hard time...

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by Jai, Jan 31, 2018.

  1. Jai

    Jai I sexual person that doesn't have sex...Slap me...
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    I have tried and tried but I am having a very hard time of accepting transwomen and transmen. I find it so bizarre. I just saw this vid of what I though was a dude and the pants come off and he has a whole vagina.

    I don't mind expressing things with folks on here cause I'm just being honest and everyone seems level headed enough but the whole thing made me feel uncomfortable to see someone look like a guy and then they have a you know what.

    Is this what some Str8 guys go through when they see transwomen. Like of I find a guy attactive but then find out that he is actually a she...I'm not posting the vid in here in case not to offend or anything but..& I know some of you are grinning at this post as folly but I feel hoodwinked again.

    Has anyone ever been with a transman or slept with one?

    I'm seeing it get put in the gay porn category as well...while transwomen are placed in the straight category and I'm so confused.

    Folks tell me that gender and sex blah blah and it's complex...but is it or are people just making it like that?


    but he was born a woman and looks like a guy, a nice looking one but still has a you know what? So how is that gay now? He/She still has a vagina?

    I think it's so hard for me to understand because I like guys, I like the you know what. I naturally like dudes...okay let me calm down. I almost had a heart attack.

    Halp!!!
     
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  2. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I can understand where you're coming from. When I was younger I didn't understand or get the whole transgender thing. How I've come to understand transgender people are just people who feel their brain doesn't match their body. That has to be a really fucked up feeling. So as I've gotten older I try to be empathetic. It doesn't bother me that there are some trans men who can pull off a very handsome and masculine look. Hat's off to them. Nevertheless on a visceral level I just don't find a vagina attractive so I can't ever see myself being with a trans man. Oddly enough I have watched porn with trans women and trans men. I think it's more curiosity than anything.
     
  3. takeyourmeds91

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    I don't mind trans-individuals and I'm quite comfortable but it does become really odd for me to see what I thought was man, turn out to have woman parts down below. I just feel like if you're going to go for it then go for gold and be the opposite sex.

    I think the thing that forces me to be comfortable is the idea that I'm not only black but I'm gay - both were once absolute abominations and still to this day are unacceptable in some circumstances. How can I wield judgement on someone else living their truth?

    The issue then becomes extending truths to folks like pedophiles...but that's a completely different conversation.


    Edit: this post reminded me of a thread I created a lil while back - go look at your posts @Jai lmao Have your views changed at all since then?
    Pregnant Trans-men?
     
    #3 takeyourmeds91, Jan 31, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2018
  4. Omega Level

    Omega Level DRACARYS
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    I have indeed seen some transman that have fooled the FUCK outta me. I dont knock them or judge them if they feel thats who they are in the inside. Its just an amazing site to see when you see either the transman or transgender woman that can actually pass to the point you would NEVER know they were born a man or woman.

    The difference to me however, is the men who transition to women can get surgery and make a vagina that basically completely passes for a real vagina. (from what I am told and pictures I have seen)

    Born women who transition to men dont have such luck. Its NO WAY to fake real dick or build a real dick that will work naturally. It will always look funny in some way and be less than the real thing.

    So I guess for me I can understand the men who transition to women and get a vagina, but the women who transition to men? They will always have a pussy or something there that looks crazy. So I really dont get their reasoning. But like you said, the sex and gender thing is the difference. BLAH BLAH BLAH
     
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  5. Jai

    Jai I sexual person that doesn't have sex...Slap me...
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    Yes, I remember it being on here and I try to be like not judgemental.

    I mean I like dudes and I feel that folks are born in their right gender from the start but a person can like who they like whenever but we can't just change genders without surgery. I think it makes me feel like I do now because I was actually attracted to that person looking like a man but it's a woman masquerading as a man and I felt betrayed like I can't even trust my own eyes anymore. Now I'm not saying I hate them, I just find it rather a bit way too misleading.

    I don't want too say you're judging them either. I think that the whole gender thing (forgive me for saying this) seems very wrong because people just don't swap genders in reality. The thing that gets me is that it's like people want to normalize it. Animals do gay things, that's been documented, some animals can change genders naturally but they gain the reproductive organs of that change for their species survival...People can't just do that naturally and that's why I think it's strange someone is under the impression they are born in the wrong body... I may like peen but I can get a woman pregnant if needed if I slip and fall on her or something but I can't get a transwoman pregnant and a transman can't get a woman pregnant?? It really is a confusing choice to me and kinda seems really odd.
     
    #5 Jai, Jan 31, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2018
  6. jusrawb

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    I kind of understand where your coming from but I would probably sleep with a transman but never a transwoman. I'm not attracted to vagina specifically but I've seen some vids/pics of transmen that turned me on. The trans situation is interesting and is very complex. I feel like some want to be just considered a regular woman but is that fair to biological women and the men who want them? idk. In sports wouldn't a biological male naturally have an advantage ? I assume so. With that recent Ginuwine incident, I didn't like her trying to force him and then label him transphobic. If a straight person turns them down because they are trans, no matter how unclockable and beautiful they are, that's not transphobic to me. Also I don't get those videos when they talk more fem like then switch to their "man voice" to emphasize don't mess with me I'm still a man. Doesn't that just goes against what they are fighting for? So many questions, I just hope they stop getting murdered and putting themselves in those positions to get murdered.
     
  7. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I think you have a point. Ginuwine was unfairly trashed in the media as being "transphobic" for not wanting to date or have a sexual relationship with a transwoman. That's the kind of crybaby social politics that's become all to commonplace these days and it pisses me off. It similar to black gays and other non-white gays who bitch and moan because white boys don't want to date of fuck them.
     
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  8. BlackguyExecutive

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    I think if you spent some time with transpeople both men and women you would learn a few things and definitely become more empathetic to their existence. I think a trans person would say that people spend way to much time worried about genitals and not enough time examining the whole person. Human beings are complex. J

    Most people don't know a single transperson nor do they interact with them. What you know is limited to what you see on TV and the internet.

    I remember back in the day when I was a kid watching Talk Shows like Jenny Jones and Maury, the people on those shows were my introduction to transgender and that is not accurate at all or representative of the community.
     
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  9. alton

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    Not to make light of the subject, nor tear down Transmen, but this immediately made me think of Family Guy. LMAO
    "...They will always have a pussy or something there that looks crazy."

    'An absolute casserole of nonsense'
     
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  10. Cyrus-Brooks

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    Jesus H fuckin Christ.....I forgot about that episode! I'm hollering! :dead1::mjlol::mjlol: black-guys-laughing.gif
    tumblr_o7a6phxspq1qgf1i8o1_500.gif
     
  11. Sean

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    Gender is a social construct that is assigned to us by virtue of the sexual organs we are born with. Just like sexuality is a social construct, based on the sexual organs we are born with. Males, by virtue of their penises are supposed to be attracted to females, but we know that not to be the case all the time. Males--ones sex--are also supposed to be men--ones gender--but trans men--females who identity as men--were born without male parts. (To this point, the reason why we ascribe the word, "feminine," to men who "act" like women, is because males--people with dicks--are supposed to be men--a gender--and act like men are socially expected to act.)

    Some trans-men "fully transition," meaning they have had surgery to create a a penis, but the overwhelming majority do not...mainly because it is too expensive. Nevertheless, they will do all they do to become as man as possible (hormones, other surgeries, etc.) but will still be stuck with their coochies. Male or female--dick or pussy--any being is gon get horny and gon wanna have that itch scratched. Trans men can identify sexually as hetero, meaning that its basically, two females are together, but not lesbians. Sexually, who knows what they doing, but we assume the trans man is primarily the agressor and probably strapping on. lol. Trans men can also be gay, which is convenient for any TOP man (gay, straight, bi, dl) who does not mind not having a dick.

    Regardless of how one identifies and regardless of what sexual parts a person has, someone is bound to be attracted to it, which is we see porn the way we do, and in the categories we see them in. It can get confusing and misleading, which i think can be problematic in real life situations...to say the least. And lastly, despite the confusion those who are not trans feel, we are not entitled to understand why certain individuals choose to live their lives as they identify, as oppossed to how they were socially constructed to be. As long as they are not perpetuating confusion by intentionally misleading others, no harm, no foul.
     
    #11 Sean, Feb 3, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2018
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