Kinsey Scale Test

With all due respect perhaps we aren't reading the same thread because everything on this post is negativity being thrown at bisexual men. I respect anyone's experience and if they've been as negative as it seems you alls have been that's sad but to have a pow wow lighting into bisexual men in general is insensitive at least to many of the guys that participate and enjoy your site. We could play semantics but in the end this thread was negatively charged and it shouldn't be. I wouldn't speak to the gay experience as I have no knowledge of what that means for myself and most that have commented can't speak to the bisexual experience because it doesn't speak to them. It seems that you all are merging DL and Bisexual and they are not one in the same. Not misdirecting just going off what I read and expressing how I felt attacked by it and also feel misunderstood in a space I view as welcoming.

 

I'm with @Nick Delmacy on this one. I just don't see anyone bashing Bisexual men as a hazard to society. Sure, there are a few guys who expressed that they have had poor experiences with Bisexual men but they never said that it didn't exist or was somehow bad. It just didn't work for them. I'm a little shocked that you've taken it so personally though. You should just do you. I don't think anyone here has a problem with you or guys like you as people.

 

I will be who I am but imagine walking into a safe space and you're being discussed in such a wildly harmful way. You'll take that personal or at least be taken aback. That's the same way I felt seeing these post. It did feel personal as I would assume if a group was sitting around speaking to gross stereotypes about gays no one including myself would stand for it. I don't expect to have anyone agree with me about it as most share these opinions, that doesn't make it right, but by all means I'm not hurt by it just didn't know these thoughts were this ingrained. Sad to read about you alls negative experiences and how they have shaped your views.

 

I will say this, when this site was known as Discreet City, a lot of guys felt the same way you do now when the founders discussed effeminate men. Granted, some of those discussions were a lot more blistering than anything discussed on the site currently, including this thread. I keep trying to read the comments to see if I could find the "gross stereotypes" that you see. I just can't find them. Maybe you can highlight a few as examples. Trust me, Cypher Avenue, in it's current form, makes an effort to discuss experiences and not bash people or groups individually for the sport of it.

 

This won't happen because the comments just don't exist. I'm honesty stunned at his perceived feeling of personal attack.

 

I can see how you are feeling some kind of way about the "tone" in which some of us are speaking about bisexual men in general. Bisexual men do get a negative rap whether it be because of the DL lifestyle, alongside gay men or a lot of people's perception of sexuality (especially some being phobic) in general. However, no one is attacking any man for being bisexual. Even though being a bisexual man you like fish, we do rock with you, because when we go to the market, you hang with us in the meat section.

I think you are assuming that another member, Nick, Cyrus's comments are stating that as members and members in general on Cypher Avenue, we are saying "Bis Should Die", but that's not the case. As gay men, they personally choose not to deal with bisexual men. It's not to say that's a good or bad thing. It's to say that it's a matter of preference. Their preference in not dating or just dealing with bisexual men regarding relations is directly analogic to someone preferring not to date tall people, guys with dreads, people with tramp stamps, someone who smokes, eats meat or is a vegan or vegetarian, who doesn't go to church, who is feminine-acting, who doesn't drive, who still lives at home with their parents or a roommate, etc.

Remember that there are hundreds of men who are a part of Cypher Avenue, a handful who are bisexual men, too. Don't assume that someone's preference for any reason is being hateful.

 

I'm with you, however, the whole "preference" thing can get a bit iffy when it comes to being hateful. Don't think it happened here though.

 

Its there, or at least the last time I looked. I understand that you don't get it. Unless you're in those shoes I suppose you'd never understand.

 

Agreed. Its one thing for guys to say, "I don't date fat guys because they are gross human beings with no self control." That's being hateful. None of that happened in this thread regarding Bisexual men. All I read were guys saying they didn't want to date a dude who was also interested in women because in their experiences it never worked out in their favor.

No one said Bis are deceitful men, no one said Bis are liars or cheaters, no one said they are going through a phase, no one said they are pretending to be Bi when they are actually gay.

Dude seems to be reaching. This thread was a serious Rorschach Test for him...

 

Thank you for the understanding you offered. I appreciate the clarity. Everyone is entitled to their preferences and can have their personal reasons for them.

 

@RolandG Told you...

 

*Something Delmacy said that I can't find but is quoted on the 1st page.

None of this can be taken as insensitive to bisexual men that may be reading? As I said I felt slighted. No issue of any of you guys just wanted to express how that made me feel coming in on this. It felt negative and I did personally feel my sexuality was being vilified and misunderstood because YOU ALL have had negative experiences. Experiences that can't possibly speak for an entire group. It's a touchy subject so I don't want to carry it on and on. I see I'm not being understood and there's more that share this experience than those that don't so thanks for the interaction on the subject.

 

Ok, they were saying they've met "some" and "a lot" but they also said not all bisexual men are like that. They're only speaking from their own personal experiences. You are correct that unless you are bisexual, you wouldn't understand what a bisexual man goes through, but you being bisexual can't understand what these gay men go through when dating bisexual men either.

Look, I won't prolong the discussion any further if you don't want to but I will say that I've always thought that Bisexual men were highly desired, at least in the gay community for many reasons. Maybe a lot of gay men fantasize about dating a man that passes as straight or that is "partially straight" for lack of a better term. I'm sure you get more hate from straight black women than anyone on this site. We're not your adversary on here my man.

 

I got the same thing and I am surprised. I guess since I am not a gold star gay man that means I am "Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual." I mean I guess....I don't think I identify as bisexual simply because I have had sex with a woman at some point.

 

I can understand why you feel some type of way about what was said. However I assure you it doesn't come from a place of malice. I'm just relating my experiences and observations. From what I've experienced and observed of bisexual and the gay men who get involved with them. Often times for the gay men it's a waste of time or ends up being a disappointment. Does this mean that all bisexual men are DL or "want to have their cake and eat too, " No. But a lot of them do. Many that I've encountered really only want sex from gay men that's it. Relationships is what they have their wives or girlfriends for. It would be dishonest of me to pretend that doesn't happen. Some gay guys are okay with this arrangement. I'm not which is why after a couple of negative experiences I avoid them. It doesn't mean that they're horrible people I just don't want to become sexually or romantically involved with them. There are lots of categories of people I wouldn't date. Just like I'm sure I fit into categories others would find undesirable for whatever reason. I don't take it personally I just keep it moving. This is not a personal attack on you. I don't know you well enough to say anything negative about you. My comments on this matter are about me and what I choose not to deal with.

 

The only thing I said about Bisexual men on the first page was agreeing with @Cyrus-Brooks that I too no longer date them based on past experiences. That is far from the hateful "stereotypes" you claimed we were spouting.

Anyway, this is Cypher Avenue bro, while we don't "throw shade" and attack people here, we're men who also don't let debatable opinions and statements go unchallenged for fear of hurting someone's delicate feelings.

You haven't been on here that often but you'll get used to it and grow a thick skin eventually. This site is good brain exercise for articulating, defending (and sometimes changing) your opinions

 

I get that's been your experience and apparently alot of others as well. I don't deny there are some men that identify as bisexual that have those issues but it's hardly the majority and unfortunately most of what everyone said came off as a generalization rather than their own specific negative experiences. Maybe that wasn't the intent but that's how it was received so it did rub me the wrong way but I do understand you all have had your experiences and although I hardly believe they were with truly bisexual men and more sexually confused guys I respect your preference.

 

I understand, just wanted to have a dialogue about what I felt was a generalization. I try my best to express myself but not to leave anyone harmed in any way afterwards as I'm sensitive to others feelings and things that may be triggers. I'll just not join in on conversations that I know you all will state strong opinions on that you don't wish to have push back or debate on. Duly noted.

 

Man, playing the victim like this is not how we close out discussions here. If anyone didn't want push back it was you bro. We're legitimately trying to understand the slight but your response has repeatedly been a vague use of the word "generalizations." Based on this thread it appears that you will always feel offended anytime anyone says anything about Bisexuals in a non-positive light.

Read a few of the other threads, both gay and heterosexual men are picked apart in negative ways on the site, we all debate our POVs and keep it moving.

If you choose not to engage in conversations, that's your choice...don't put that on the rest of us though. This civility in this thread has played out like a British tea party compared to the "shade" and vitriol seen towards black Bisexual men on many other gay and heterosexual black sites.

 

Huh? Wait a cotton picking minute. We don't want to have push back? Dude, I can assure you that @Nick Delmacy has no problems defending his position on these here boards. He's really not that sensitive. What is this? Reverse Psychology? I believe we were trying to get you to understand that our conversations weren't personal to you. My feelings weren't hurt but I assumed yours were. It's all good though. I encourage you to visit more and definitely offer up your opinions. Just be more prepared to defend them.

 

Yeah I'm definitely being taken wrong here because I wasn't under the impression that this was anything that was to defend of not. For me it was just expressing a personal offense, seeking understanding and offering my thoughts. Nothing to defend. I see how what I said comes off passive aggressive so let me be clear. I meant that I would stear clear of topics I may be easily offended by as to not get caught up in a back and forth when I don't believe it's ultimately going to be helpful. I have no doubt that Delmacy has no issue defending his stances it's HIS WEBSITE after all so I respect his abs everyone else's thoughts.

 

Okay cool. That's your choice. In the future when you make a statement like this:

Be sure to expect the people accused to defend themselves...IJS

 

Word. I guarantee you black heterosexuals, both men and women are saying far worse things about bisexual men. I'd bet my next paycheck on that. But don't take my word on it feel free to visit the comments section or social media posts most straight black people make online anytime the subject of male bisexuality comes up.

 

I can understand how you can feel that things said were in poor taste towards you as a bisexual man. I will say that I was only speaking from my own personal experience. I would be mad if I were dating a man that I knew was attracted to me to later find out that he really desires to have a wife and children after investing my time. That is why I said what I said. It is not really an attack against you but simply speaking from my personal experience dealing with a young black man who labeled himself as confused. Maybe he is really gay or maybe he is bisexual or pansexual. Not so sure. #NoH8 @NickAuzenneNOLA

 

If you're interested in understanding the history behind the Kinsey scale I invite you to watch the movie Kinsey: Let's Talk About Sex you can view the trailer for the movie by clicking on the hyperlink.

My Kinsey Scale Results:

0 Exclusively heterosexual.
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.
6 Exclusively homosexual.
X Non-sexual.
F The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person.

 

0 Exclusively heterosexual.
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.
6 Exclusively homosexual.
X Non-sexual.
F The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person.

 

I took this a while ago and got a 4 on it. Probably because of a drunken encounter with a girl in a car at a drive in movie that was showing 'The China Syndrome' back in 1979 or so. Actually I am gay as hell-but when I meet new people/work/whatever they often seem to think I have a wife and kids for some weird reason and I always seem to have to 'come out'..again and again...*sigh*