Lion injures Christian Prophet's Ass

Discussion in 'Race, Religion, Science and Politics' started by OckyDub, Mar 10, 2016.

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  1. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Alec Ndiwane was filled with the Holy Spirit when he decided to “challenge” lions at the Kruger National Park.

    The Zion Christian Church Prophet was at the park with his fellow church members when, according to GhanaWeb, he went into a trance and began speaking in tongues. The group approached the pride of lions while they munched happily on an antelope, but that’s when Ndiwane ran toward the lions.

    Once he realized what was happening, Ndiwane made an about-face and immediately ran away. Unfortunately, lions are fast and fierce animals and when one of the lions snapped her paws on him, Ndiwane sustained injuries to his buttocks.

    The ranger fired his gun into the air to scare the lions off and rush the prophet to the hospital where he underwent emergency surgery to ensure he didn’t lose a majority of his buttocks.

    “I do not know what came over me,” Ndiwane confessed. “I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals. Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth.” He was eventually stitched up and discharged after spending the night in hospital.
     
    #1 OckyDub, Mar 10, 2016
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  2. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
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    “I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals. Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth.”

    I hate this stupid ass fuckin theory that Christian Fundamentalists have. No, ass...we do NOT have "dominion" over animals. You can't rightfully dominate something that has been in existence for millions of years before you came into existence. I believe this thought process is a big part of the cause of Animal Abuse.

    Gon' head Mr. Ndiwane...go'n be DAN-YUL A HAH!! In THE LION'S DEN HA HA!! Let THE LAWD'S HAND GAAAAD' YA A HA!! PUT that hand...HA!...on that lion's HEAD JEEEZUHS, AHA!! And you TELL that Lion, ha! LION...BOW DOWN for The BAAAABLE SAYS I HAVE DOMINION, HA!! OVA ALL BEASTS OF THE LAAAAND A HA!!! GLOOWWWWRAY HALLELUJA!!!
    [​IMG]

    A F@#KIN IDIOT
     
    #2 alton, Mar 10, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2016
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  3. ColumbusGuy

    ColumbusGuy
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    Feel good story of the day.

    :bronbad::heh::babylawd:
     
    #3 ColumbusGuy, Mar 10, 2016
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  4. Tyroc

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    Maybe the lion was an atheist.
     
    #4 Tyroc, Mar 10, 2016
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  5. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    Man has dominion over the animals??? Only in Disney Movies.

    When I was a child my mother took me to church....I was 3 or 4 and remember quite well that thr members were breaking out in tongues & jumping...I thought they were a bunch of insane fools babbling like a bunch of mornic possessed demonic entities.
    The man that got threaded by the lion is an idiot...
    Seems to me "their God" can fix everything but their stupidity.

    Oh well...back to eating cookies now.
     
    #5 Jai, Mar 10, 2016
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  6. grownman

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    Wait a minute...lol. Are you speaking in tongues?
     
    #6 grownman, Mar 10, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 10, 2016
  7. ColumbusGuy

    ColumbusGuy
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    Well at least I can enjoy the fact that for once it is not one of us getting hurt by doing stupid shit with dangerous animals. lol.

    *do not make the mistake of going to the original article and reading the comments. smh.
     
    #7 ColumbusGuy, Mar 10, 2016
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  8. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    #8 OckyDub, Mar 10, 2016
  9. Dreamwalker

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    He just picked the wrong animal. I'm sure he'll try again
    image.jpeg

    image.jpeg
     
    #9 Dreamwalker, Mar 10, 2016
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  10. grownman

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    #10 grownman, Mar 10, 2016
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    This blasephemy on this site is ungodly and below the values of such smart and educated men. I want no part of it. I'm going over to the NSFW section to hang out with the other members with values.
     
    #11 RolandG, Mar 10, 2016
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  13. Jai

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    What is it with some white people and animals. They are always trying to be wildlife whisperes. Living with wolves, walking with lions, swimming with Sharks.

    It's like an open buffet...

    It must be that superiority complex thing..
     
    #13 Jai, Mar 10, 2016
  14. Sean

    Sean
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    Maybe he shoulda changed his name to Daniel before he did that.
     
    #14 Sean, Mar 12, 2016
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