Male Feminist #MeToo #TimesUp Proponent Accused of Sexual Assault

Discussion in 'Race, Religion, Science and Politics' started by OckyDub, Jan 14, 2018.

  1. OckyDub

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    Golden Globe winner Aziz Ansari was accused of sexual assault by a 23-year-old Brooklyn photographer Saturday.

    The accuser, who identified herself as “Grace” told the publication, Babe, that she finally decided to share her story after she saw Ansari wearing the “Time’s Up” pin at the Golden Globe Awards, where he received the much-prestigious “Best Actor” award.

    “It was actually painful to watch him win and accept an award,” she said. “And absolutely cringe-worthy that he was wearing the Time’s Up pin. I think that started a new fire, and it kind of made it more real [...] I believe that I was taken advantage of by Aziz. I was not listened to and ignored. It was by far the worst experience with a man I’ve ever had.”

    Grace met Ansari for the first time at an after-party for the 2017 Emmy Awards. Both of them decided to go on a date after they enjoyed each other’s company.

    Golden Globe winner Aziz Ansari was accused of sexual assault by a 23-year-old Brooklyn photographer. Aziz Ansari attends the Official Viewing and After Party of The Golden Globe Awards hosted by The Hollywood Foreign Press Association in Beverly Hills, California, Jan. 7, 2018. Photo: Getty Images/ Greg Doherty

    However, she alleged that after a quick dinner, the comedian took her back to his apartment and tried to force himself on her, despite her repeated verbal and gestural signs making it clear that she was not interested.

    Ansari is currently single, last known to date Courtney McBroom, the owner of Large Marge in Los Angeles.

    Originally from Texas, McBroom told Food & Wine magazine in 2015, that during their first encounter, she did not know who Aziz Ansari was.

    “I was working at Momofuku Milk Bar in Manhattan. Someone said, ‘Aziz Ansari is here!’ I didn’t know who he was,” she said. “A year later we met at an event and bonded over Hokey Pokey cookies. They’re made from smoked oats and a weird New Zealand toffee candy called Hokey Pokey. Milk Bar created them for Band of Outsiders fashion shows. Basically, the Hokey Pokey brought us together.”

    Although Ansari refused to reveal McBroom’s name in an interview with Billboard, he did explain what attracted him to his girlfriend.

    “I met her years ago when she was seeing someone,” Ansari said. “I thought she was really cool. Then I ran into her randomly and she was single. I’ve kind of settled down. I was the guy eating Skittles and having lots of fun, and then I was like, ‘I need a nice nutritious salad’ — she’s the salad.”

    After two years of dating, Ansari and McBroom broke up in January 2016. At the time, it was rumored that Ansari’s busy scheduled – with his acting, stand-up comedy gigs and book tours – was the reason behind their split.

    Following his breakup, Ansari told People magazine that he was happy, despite being single. He also said that he would prefer to have a partner with whom “I would be thrilled to do nothing with who would be as equally thrilled to do nothing with me.”

    Grace — who gave a pretty graphic account of the alleged sexual assault — said that after the encounter, Ansari acted like nothing had happened, texting her: “It was fun meeting you last night.”

    “Last night might have been fun for you, but it wasn’t fun for me,” Grace wrote back. “When we got back to your place, you ignored clear, non-verbal cues; you kept going with advances. You had to have noticed I was uncomfortable.”
     
  2. Lancer

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    I do not know how to respond.
    So I will say what's coming to my head. I think Aziz SHOULD have stopped immediately she expressed her repeated verbal and gestural signs that she was not interested.
    By my understanding of her recollection of events she still hooked up with him, and after regretted it however to use the word 'Sexual Assault' I think is TOO heavy for something like this.
    I can't put myself in her shoes and feel for her, however isn't this just case of one of those bad hookups that one encounters?
     
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  3. BrentForays

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    I read the article that "Grace" wrote. While he was too aggressive, she kept consenting. He never raped or sexually assaulted her. He was just way too aggressive and horny. With that said and this is terrible to say, please dont cancel Master of None.
     
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  4. Nigerian Prince

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    Man..... Russell Simmons would use his "#NotMe" hashtag right about now...
     
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  5. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I also don't know how to take this. She put herself in a situation where she was alone with him knowing she didn't want to have sex with him. She wasn't forceful in stopping the sexual encounter and even went along with it. I'm also mystified as to why she didn't leave when she felt uncomfortable. I'm don't think this rises to level of sexual assault. The real test will be if more women come out of the woodwork to accuse Aziz Ansari of sexual assault. He can join the ranks of Kevin Spacey, Louis CK, Harvey Weinstein, Al Franken etc. and kiss his career goodbye.
     
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  6. OckyDub

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    Aziz Ansari Responds to Accusation of Inappropriate Sexual Behavior: 'I Was Surprised and Concerned'

    After being accused of "aggressive" sexual behavior that left a woman feeling "violated," Aziz Ansari has released a statement regarding the allegation.

    "In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual," Ansari's statement read

    The statement continues, "The next day, I got a text from her saying that although 'it may have seemed okay,' upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said."

    [​IMG]© Getty Images "I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue," he concluded, seemingly referencing the #MeToo movement as well as #TimesUp, which he supported at the Golden Globes, wearing both all black and the pin.

    The woman, who has chosen to remain anonymous, shared her story with the website Babe. According to the 23-year-old photographer, she met the 34-year-old Master of None star at an Emmys party in September 2017 and then went on a date with him in New York City about a week later. After dinner, the two returned to his apartment where they engaged in sexual activity, which she says left her feeling "violated."

    She claims she gave verbal and non-verbal cues that she no longer wished to engage in sexual activity. “I know I was physically giving off cues that I wasn’t interested. I don’t think that was noticed at all, or if it was, it was ignored.”

    After telling Ansari she felt "uncomfortable" and didn't "want to feel forced" to do anything, she claims she ultimately "felt really pressured" to engage in further sexual activity.

    The next day, the woman texted Ansari about her concerns. "It may have seemed okay. But I didn't feel good at all," she wrote.

    Ansari appears to respond in a screengrab provided by the woman, apologizing for the alleged misunderstanding. "I'm so sad to hear this," the text reads. "All I can say is, it would never be my intention to make you are anyone feel the way you described. Clearly, I misread thing in the moment and I'm truly sorry.".

    The accusation against Ansari comes one week after the Time's Up movement kicked into high gear at the Golden Globes.

     
  7. BlackguyExecutive

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    First, I believe most of these women and men. With that being said, I think we are dangerously close to a process where due process isn’t happening. Some of these accusers are liars or trying to get their moment and we as a culture need to figure out how to better manage allegations. There is a fundamental fairness that is being lost in this movement.
     
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  8. NikR

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    @itsumoconfused and I were talking about this the other day.

    This is what Caitlan Flanagan of The Atlantic said about due process, or the lack thereof. And with it, calls out numerous people, like the woman who posted this account of...I seriously don't know how to classify it other than "3,000 words of revenge porn".

    "Twenty-four hours ago—this is the speed at which we are now operating—Aziz Ansari was a man whom many people admired and whose work, although very well paid, also performed a social good. He was the first exposure many young Americans had to a Muslim man who was aspirational, funny, immersed in the same culture that they are. Now he has been—in a professional sense—assassinated, on the basis of one woman’s anonymous account."

    ...

    "I thought it would take a little longer for the hit squad of privileged young white women to open fire on brown-skinned men. I had assumed that on the basis of intersectionality and all that, they’d stay laser focused on college-educated white men for another few months. But we’re at warp speed now, and the revolution—in many ways so good and so important—is starting to sweep up all sorts of people into its conflagration: the monstrous, the cruel, and the simply unlucky. Apparently there is a whole country full of young women who don’t know how to call a cab, and who have spent a lot of time picking out pretty outfits for dates they hoped would be nights to remember. They’re angry and temporarily powerful, and last night they destroyed a man who didn’t deserve it."

    The Humiliation of Aziz Ansari
     
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  9. NikR

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    Because it doesn't. It just doesn't. In fact, this piece cheapens the experiences of women and men who fight back and are actually sexually assaulted and raped by powerful men.
     
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  10. itsumoconfused

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    I was following up on this as well. I am thinking back through reading that piece and thinking about the issue in which access to escape the situation that she was in were more readily available than many of these other stories we hear about people being sexually assaulted. This is NYC we're talking about, endless cabs, ubers and trains/buses are 24hrs.

    I think there are also issues with how sex is a pervasive yet simultaneously taboo thing in our culture and therefore we have somehow developed strange ways to not be more straightforward about wanting to do the deed or not. Which is really what this story is about. Just as much blame there is to give Aziz for being a horny dude trying to get his acorns and actually being fairly explicit about what he wanted, she could have also been more explicit in the first 1000 interactions by just saying "nah son." So what was her original thought? You go on a date and then go to their home, you don't think they're going to want to screw?
     
  11. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    #MeToo male Feminists like Aziz Ansari were apart of the "we must believe all women" crowd. As a matter of fact, his feminist outspoken co-star Lena Waithe recently said to Buzzfeed and I quote, "believe every woman who comes forward."

    So using THEIR own words...we should believe 'Grace' and Aziz is a sexual assaulter / rapist because (again by their sentiments) women are virtuous creatures who are incapable of lying when it comes to this issue.

    Now that the witch hunt has turned their eyes and pitchforks towards one of their own male ilk (who happens to have some melanin); now all of a sudden people feel encouraged to PUBLICLY ponder and use common sense and question if the victim is in fact lying in addition to juxtaposing this with racism. Nope...no double standards or hypocrisies to see here.
     
    #11 OckyDub, Jan 16, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2018
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  12. BlackguyExecutive

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    I also think the Aziz story is different because the Feminist Article that exposed him tried to conflate the issue in a victimhood 3000-word essay. In all reality, the Aziz story is one of a bad date and internal regret not one of a powerful man using his power to assault women. The article tried to capitalize on the momentum of this moment and what happen was actual critical thinking.

    With that being said, I do think that there is a significant history of women not being believed and sidelined or downplayed. That is a real problem that deserves acknowledgment. But OVERREACH always results in snapbacks which could derail any meaningful progress women and feminists have made.
     
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  13. itsumoconfused

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    Which is why I feel really uneasy about this whole particular situation in the first place. I don't find her to be a victim similar to the people that bought up this particular movement; however we all need to learn how to communicate better for the sake of sex. As we transition to a more sex-positive mindset it isn't enough to just make this transition without also learning how to be healthier emotionally, mentally and communicatively about the concept of sex.
     
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  14. machoBLKnerd

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    it matters that babe.com approached "grace" for this story -- #thirsty -- and not the other way around. it also matters that such retellings have been handled primarily by feminist websites in the past, but suddenly they've been launched into general interest media which unlikely has the expertise to adequately frame such a delicate issue. so i dont think we can fully understand this moment separate from other variables, like profit and our culture's investment in public spectacle and shaming.

    monied interests has always found ways to fuse itself to social justice work. and we, the public, are carnivores in our consumption of spectacle, often failing to ask critical questions: who is this serving? who profits from this? would the story be told differently if the identity of folks involved were different? why now? (i could go on).

    this is one of the unfortunate realities of movements and this is true well beyond #metoo and feminism. (it's been equally true of black lives matter). so i don't think feminists can be blamed for these broader realities, especially since many female writers and several feminist websites have responded by challenging grace's recollection and/or babe's decision to pursue her for this story.

    also, consider that one of the negative consequences of the civil rights movement is that we have extracted and canonized very neat anecdotes from a deeply messy time period. and this ahistorical neatness has become a standard and filter through which current social efforts are judged. #metoo doesn't have the same luxury of our hindsight afforded to civil rights folks, as we are living and social media-ing while #metoo is happening in real time. that's an important difference. there are going to be missteps. there are going to be individuals who see this as their moment. these things should be addressed obviously, but they also should not detract from the intention of what the majority of women are trying to accomplish.
     
    #14 machoBLKnerd, Jan 16, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2018
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