Best Posts in Thread: Marriage and Monogamy Overrated?

It isn't if it's something you genuinely want. A lot of people do it simply because it's expected of them. And for that reason, they end up regretting it and forming toxic relationships. Just let folks make their own decisions. As long as they're not hurting others, it's all good.

 

I don't think marriage is necessarily good or bad. It is troublesome that roughly half of all marriages in divorce and the reasons for those divorces vary widely. I think it is a misnomer to suggest that marriage is synonymous with monogamy. That is simply not the case. With that being said, there are many benefits of being in a marital unit and fosters greater stability in society and communities. People in martial units have greater wealth and it is has been reported that marriage foster a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment.

With that being said, marriage is awfully patriarchal and is used as a mechanism to control. I guess what I am saying is that, no I don't think marriage is necessary. I don't think marriage is synonymous with monogamy. I do think marriage is a useful institution that can lead to more stable and prosperous communities that could improve the lives and outcomes of us in the black and brown communities.

 

I think I mentioned this a while back, but I’m not stuck on traditional notions of monogamy, especially for gay men. My whole thing is honesty and fidelity. If two people want an open marriage, fine, long as both of them agree and concede from the start of the relationship. If two people agree to a monogamous relationship then no one should be creeping. I’m currently in a monogamous, non-married relationship for the first time in my life (which still shocks the hell outta me) and I knew going in what the terms were. It’s about what people agree to. Just don’t say “I do” and then you don’t.

 

This is where I am with this.

We're not suddenly unattracted to people the instant we get into a relationship. However we do control what we do with that attraction We're not compelled to act on it.

New booty doesn't give a fluck about you. But that boodee that has been custom molded to your wang after so many years does. That's something to consider. On the other hand, sex can be just sex with no commitment or feelings of attachment involved. It really depends on the people in the relationship.

 

I concur all the way; marriage and monogamy were never meant to be synonymous. most people need to work on what marriage means for/to them and if they can find another person to agree then to each is own