Best Posts in Thread: QUESTION: In High School Were You Openly Gay, Openly Bisexual Or Were You Pretending To Be Straight?

  1. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    [​IMG]

    Many of us are Out and openly dating men now that we're older....But was that the case for you even in High School?

    To be honest, in hindsight, I had a feeling that I was gay as far back as Middle School...but it wasn't until High School that I started to realize that I was bisexual or gay...

    But I came up in the Midwest in the 90s...no black kids were openly gay back then...even the ones who were obviously gay (ie: effeminate men on the cheerleading team).

    So I became the kid hiding my growing hormones in the shadows. But the boys just seemed to get better and better looking to me as we all got older. And it didn't matter what race they were.

    There was one blue-eyed Jewish kid that I was friends with (I had even gone to his Bat Mitzvah) who suddenly had become mesmerizing to me. I would see him talking and stare at him like:

    [​IMG]

    There was a skinny underachieving light-skinned black kid with freckles and curly hair that I would miss every time he skipped class (which was often, he eventually didn't graduate on time with our class). When he was absent I would be like:

    [​IMG]

    There was a tight-bodied dark-skinned upperclassman who was very frisky with his hands and would cop a feel on me from time to time when no one was looking. I was so paranoid about being "found out" that I never reciprocated, always pulled away and feigned disapproval (I still regret that to this day).

    But I was also attracted to girls (and tittays...I love me some tittays) so I pretty much focused on them for most of my matriculation through high school. I dated a few girls but no one I would consider a "high school sweetheart."

    [​IMG]

    Although I was somewhat popular among my classmates, I didn't date much...I kept myself distracted by joining up with as many extracurricular activities as possible (except sports, I was always pretty tall but never very athletic). Even still, I definitely wasn't "the gay kid" or even suspected to be by classmates back then (my mother is another story, a long one).

    As the years in High School went on, the attraction to fellow teenage boys (that I tried hard to suppress) had grown stronger.

    I got erections while learning to wrestle in gym class and changing in the locker room showers...I manipulated attractive guys into friendships just so that I could be around them more...I even secretly sketched caricatures of my dude crushes in my notebooks (yup, I can draw).

    I was horny, repressed and became a straight up bitch.

    The kind who you imagine reading Sweet Sixteen Magazine. I even kept a secret journal about my overwhelming crushes for these nikkas since I didn't have ANYONE to actually talk to about it.

    I became Drake before Drake even existed.

    [​IMG]

    I wasn't doing this kind of extra stuff with the girls I was dating or liked...So by the time we graduated I knew I had to accept that I was mostly gay, not bisexual. Definitely not Bisexual enough to become a dude who would eventually get married to a woman and never have or act on homosexual urges ever again in my life.

    Once I left the Midwest to attend college in the Dirty South...I knew that I had to have my first gay experience as soon as possible.

    [​IMG]

    This ended up being delayed by 6 months because a fellow classmate FROM MY HIGH SCHOOL decided to attend the SAME college as me. So of course we hung out in the same small group of freshmen friends.

    Being that I was still (unnecessarily) paranoid about people from my high school finding out about me, I was handcuffed. He ended up dropping out after only one semester, so then I felt like I was finally free to explore that repressed side of my sexuality.

    I still didn't become "the gay dude" or have tons of whorish gay sex, but at 19 years old I finally got that first taste of what gay intimacy and intercourse was like with another dude. It was marvelous.

    The rest is history. It was on and popping from then.

    [​IMG]

    In hindsight, I do kinda wish I had taken more of a risk in high school to explore my sexuality. While we didn't have Jack'd, Grindr or sites like Cypher Avenue back then, I did highly suspect that some other classmates were down as well.

    And while I may have been rejected if I made a move or just became overly touchy, at least word may have gotten out to a kid on the down low who actually wanted to experiment and/or possibly date...even in secret.

    However, I have heard horror stories from men who were outed as a kid and even had to change schools because of the torment that came as a result. So maybe it's for the best that I didn't come Out in High School.

    So what's your story?

    Were you Openly gay in high school?

    Were you openly Bisexual?

    Were you paranoid like me?

    Did you have gay sex at all as a high school student?

    Let us know your journey through adolescence....
     
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  2. sekou

    sekou I be Jamaican
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    Life in high school in Jamaica was a mashpot of testosterone so any sign of homosexuality was and is looked down on. The only out students were in music club and they were generally left alone because they banded together. I on the the other hand generally sticked to myself, avoiding all relationships. At this point I was committed to finding a girl to be with so no guy was on my radar. But there was the occasion where a random attractive guy would come by and i would try my best to look from a distance. then immediately got a guilt of doing something wrong. So to save myself I avoided all such individuals.

    Luckily sports/ physical education was not mandatory here so I wasn't tempted by the freaking hot dudes on the track team. Track and field is pretty big in the country. and these track guys wore the full track suits...... the ones that show everything..... and all these fuckers were

    [​IMG]
    ....damit .so i stayed away from sports .

    My adolescent years I made it a point to hang out with the straightest, manlyest dudes I knew. Luckily they remained good friends even when I told them I was bi.. That's rare in this country.

    It wasn't until i started gyming hard in the last 3 years that I have tried anything.
     
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  3. Nigerian Prince

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    Nick you already know I was openly gay in HS. LOL. But no seriously... explain this long story about your mom being suspect about you???

    This article was a great read by the way.

    In high school, I was there with my twin brother. Looking back, we both could have taken a lot of boys down. We had dudes that were VERY touchy feely with us and guys that were even BOLD enough to ask if "we were packing down there" because we are Nigerians lol. But yeah there were guys that would just stare at us and smile that were on the sports teams or whatever. They would be hot and cold. Be cool with us one-on-one then around their other overly hypermasculine acting sports buddies they would maltreat us. As high school drew to a close, we had guys that used to pick on us start warming up to us and complementing us on our clothes and our looks. I was like...."??????" I asked myself, "why are these people so wishy-washy?" Didn't understand why back then but we do now.

    If we were both as confident back then as we were now, man... high school and especially college would have been very memorable. Both of us really just stuck to overloading ourselves with work and extracurriculars to distract ourselves then when we came out to each other it made sense why we kept so busy.
    Both of us pretended to pretty much be str8 but my twin had a sexual experience with a guy when he was 20 I think. Thank goodness it was just over the phone back then lol. When he told me that he had phone sex, I had to clutch my pearls! LMBO JK. But yeah I was still getting used to him being openly gay with me and I was getting used to myself still accepting myself for who I was until I came out to him when I was 22. I am now 25 and so much further along in my journey. Still haven't had sex yet but it is fine. Porn will have to just do the job until I find a man worthy of me.
     
  4. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    I grew up in a slightly less homophobic country in eastern Africa(relative to its neighbors) . I was definitely not openly gay, since that was and is still a taboo and shunned upon. I went to boarding school; all the boys lived in one huge dormitory, meaning there were bound to be some homoerotic play. Surprisingly enough, this is considered a normal transition into adulthood in my country as "teenage boys will be teenage boys" is the usual reaction when these stories floated around in living rooms conversations.

    I knew that I was attracted to boys at an early age. I never accepted and thought it was something that just going to pass. I thought it was more envy than attraction, since I always admired the dudes that were athletic and physical fit while my lazy fat ass was out there nerding it out 24/7/.

    I went private catholic elementary and secondary[high] schools(two different locations) and I met my high school best friend/crush there. We literally did everything together when we were young and ended up being selected to attend the same high school. We became closer and closer as the years went by; we were inseparable and to me his smile, demeanor, and physic was to die for.
    [​IMG]

    I didn't know what the relationship meant and neither did he. but, we played along and nobody really questioned us. I had a "girlfriend", but I wasn't really into her like that lol, but we kicked it here and there.

    Well, all good things come to end. I graduated high school, took a job as a cashier for this little hardware shop next our house until I got my visa to come live in the U.S. I haven't dude in 8 years but we talk very sporadically on Facebook. He has changed and it doesn't look like he has a girlfriend or fiancé or wife either. Maybe, this might be a good time to drop in and ask how his dumbass is doingkobeb

    Now, the real juicy story comes in college. Let me know when that thread gets created lol
     
  5. acessential

    Squad Leader Best Thread Creator The 1000 Daps Club

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    I had already come out to a handful of people before freshman year. None of whom went to my high school, so I decided to play it completely straight and even had a girlfriend for a little bit. We soon broke up. Sophomore year, I reconnected with a childhood friend who I hadn't seen in years on MySpace. He was openly gay. After a while, I came out to him and he invited me to this LGBT youth group. At the group, I ran into a guy from my high school who everyone suspected was gay. He pursued me, but I was hesitant because he wasn't really my type and I had never been with a guy before. I gave in and we dated for a little bit. We broke things off and he basically outed me to the rest of the school through his group of lesbian friends. Rumors started spreading. Soon people we're coming up to me asking me if I was gay. I denied it at first, but eventually stopped caring. I guess I was "discreet" because people knew about it, but I never announced it. I never got shit for it. People were cool. I was heavily involved in school and was nice to people so nobody really had any reason to hate me. I think being more "gender conforming" also helped a lot. The more feminine gay guys did get teased a bit. And I think a lot of guys had crushes on my sister so even if they thought about starting shit, they risked making her mad. I don't have any salacious stories about random guys approaching me for sex. I just dated two guys from high school and that was it. High school was chill. I was voted homecoming king and most likely to succeed, so I guess it wasn't that bad.
     
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  6. cypher21

    cypher21 Deactivated Account
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    No I wasn't openly gay, infact I would deny being it when asked, as I shamefully remember it. I wasn't normally asked mind you, but could always sense when the question was coming before it was asked and I always hated it and myself for it because at the time I told myself and everyone else I was straight...but it always felt like a lie, like I was rejecting apart of myself.

    I kept myself from having (romantic) relationships with anyone all throughout high school because I didn't want to hurt anyone or waste their time with someone that couldn't make up their mind about what they like so sometimes I regret not being able to enjoy myself more back then. We had plenty of gay people at our school, but that wasn't enough to persuade me and no one ever approached me so I just tried to focus on other things like school! Lol

    But I definitely knew by high school that I was attracted to guys, before middle school really. I had crushes on girls, but they were few and far between compared to the guys at my school. My high school to this day has one of the best basketball teams in the state so there were the finest, big and tall dudes you could imagine that went there! It really made it hard for me (literally) lol

    [​IMG]

    So definitely by the time I got to college I was starting to get antsy. Then, in my second sophomore semester I had a class with this freshman. You guys. When I tell you he was the most gorgeous man I had ever personally laid eyes on! GOD DAMN!! (And I don't even curse! XD) He was so cool, down to earth, creative, and unique too, so he was a serious game changer for me. I had no choice but to stop and reevaluate my life after I met him because, even though I've never been in love or anything, I was catching major feelings for him that I'd never felt for anyone else before!!

    [​IMG]

    He had a girlfriend though, I met her she was nice and beautiful naturally, so I figured there was no reason for me to maintain a relationship because I felt like my feelings would just get in the way and I honestly just lost my cool whenever he was around. I haven't heard from or seen him in a year now and it sucks but I guess I did the right thing *shrugs*

    I guess if I hadn't met him though, I wouldn't have been able to be more honest with myself even though I'm still not technically out in the open so that's a good thing.

    Sorry for writing a novel but y'all got me over here reminiscing!! lol
     
    #26 cypher21, Oct 19, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2015
  7. JNH412

    JNH412 I'm everywhere | I'm hard to find
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    I wasn't truly open in h.s. I wasn't exactly good at covering my tracks either though. I was 16 when I started kickin it on a same sex level with this freshman in the band. He was messy. Had me on 3-way with a notoriously gay dude from our school as I spit all this game about how much my 16 year old heart cared for the freshman guy. I was passed a note in class from the gay dude saying how he knew I was gay and how he wanted to talk to me. Smh... So I went the remainder of my hs years trying to be as lowkey as possible, even though there were rumors about me going around. I was the drummajor of the band my senior yr and was told that a band dude from another school said he was my boyfriend... Trying to defend my fraudulent ass heterosexuality, I ended up checkin ol boy at the Battle of the Bands... I made it out of h.s. without too many people thinking or knowing I was gay, or at least without it being a big topic of convo for all of Flint Northern High School. I dated a dude that lived in a whole nother state. I stopped going to school sometimes. After graduation though, I stopped caring and went out to the only gay spot in the city where people were sure to notice you. Now that we're about to hit our 10 year reunion, a lot of folks know about me but dont really care. Wish it had always been like that...
     
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  8. OhSheit

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    I guess I was closeted but it wasn't a big struggle. I never tried too hard, never had a girlfriend and was never questioned about it. If you had asked me I probably would have told you but since you didn't... I was whatever you assumed I was.

    Plus I kept myself occupied. I messed around with dudes when I was in ROTC (first gay kiss and bisexual experiences) and some were also on the Varsity basketball team so both groups were pretty tight. After all of the shenanigans we all identified as straight and treated it as nothing. Whatever happened in the locker room, auditorium or at your homies crib stayed top secret. I enjoyed myself rocks
     
  9. Comment Imported From Main Site

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    In 1983 in the Dirty South, you had BETTER NOT be black and openly gay, LOL…I had known since middle school but mentally confirmed it in 11th grade. From that point forward I read everything I could get my hands on. If Janet Jackson’s song “He Doesn’t Know I’m Alive” had been out then, that would have been the perfect descriptor of my feelings for this hispanic friend named Sean. Oh how I would have loved to have been sexually active but I valued what shred of a reputation I had. My high school was exactly like the one depicted in “Clueless” and my social capital/swag was -0. Although my black friends (a VERY loose term) suspected (so much as to ask me if I would consider the priesthood), I never said anything to anyone or even tried to find like minded individuals. I just read everything I could about homosexuality while desperately trying to fly under the radar and be what everyone considered “normal” – including not dispelling any rumors about perceived “girlfriends” that I had. For a period, I thought gays only lived in big cities and black gays only lived in DC, Philly, NY and Los Angeles. I hated high school and black males (because that’s where the teasing came from). So I gravitated toward non-black students. I, too, was determined to end the physical virginity in college and did. My undergrad alma mater (an HBCU) even had a copy of Mapplethorpe’s infamous Black Book!!! Talk about picking the “right” school, LOL…that was like a sign from heaven. I will never forget how stupid I felt about all of this when, after dancing at a local gay bar I spotted some acquaintances (white) from high school. We greeted each other and they said “we thought you were gay in HS but we weren’t sure so we never said anything. Think of all the fun we could’ve had if we had just known…” Ugh…but life got better :)
     
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  10. DC.

    DC.
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    In high school I was out since I came out in eigth grade. And looking back on it I kind of wish I would have waited. Because when people started finding out, everyday of high school felt like a day of mortal kombat for me until junior year came around. Because I was always having to defend myself. And once I even had people follow me


    Home from school. Planning to jump me. And as a 14 year old that sh** is scary dude. And it made me think to myself "what have I done"? Lmao I never announced I was gay, but of course in high school close friends have the biggest mouths. My first encounter with a guy was when I was 12. So while I wished things could've been different it has allowed me now after 10 years to be comfortable with my sexuality whereas most 22 years old are now attempting to try to become comfortable with it. Now coming out younger is easy. But at the time I wished I would've had say a helping hand or a mentor, or someone who I felt could look out for me, but I had none of that.

    I had my brother and he would stand up for me but that was it. He didn't understand what challenges I faced. Not to mention I was trapped in a house with parents with old school Haitian thinking that didn't embrace homosexuality, so things were tough and I felt like it was me against the world. Because at that time gay people on time were just tokens on tv, such as the "cartoonish gay best friend" and that was really it. So it made
    Me question a lot. And some
    Of the people who put me down as being gay in high school I came to learn years after graduating were gay. Which while it makes sense..., I still feel that why do that? Like even though you couldn't intervene why jump in to those kind of things. That timeframe was good and bad, I would say. Lol but it's made me
    A stronger man, and I never hold ill feelings or build up any resentment because at the time
    I was a kid and so were they, so they didn't know any better. And I'm sure for some
    Of those who identify as gay are hopefully choosing to do better
     
  11. JodyBell87

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    I knew I like men in Middle School; 6th grade to be exact. My first crush was a tall, light-skinned, nice bodied guy who rode my school bus. As middle school went on, I had more and more crushes, daydreamed about other boys, and even had them in my dreams. I had gF's......many. But those crushes never died. I was the somewhat popular guy who girls liked, so I never had to worry about if ppl thought I was gay. Even in HS I was on the homecoming court twice and was asked to be girls' dates for the Cotillion and Jabberwock (Spell check?). I was the guy who suppressed his feelings by joking on the gay guys while secretly wishing I were that brave. Looking back, if I could change not being out, I would. But, you live and you learn.
     
  12. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    This is great. I feel like I had a completely different experience in high school. I attended a Performing Arts High School so there was all kinds of people gay, straight, bisexual, weird, popular you name it we had it. I had openly gay teachers and administrators and despite all of that, I was not open. I just didn't acknowledge my sexuality at the time. I had friends who were girls and boys and always actively remained marginal. For example during dances I would ask girls but only as friends and we always went out in big groups. Because of our environment, no one really asked if I was gay or not because it really didn't matter. We were all Arts kids. In many ways I was a confused teenager, I remember fantasizing about boys and girls and didn't do anything with anyone until I was 17 when I hooked up with a Ballerina Dancer a few times. I didn't hookup with a guy until I was 18 years old and that is when I confirmed I liked men. It felt more normal to me. I was out of high school then and people just assumed I was bisexual until I came out at 21 years old.
     
    #14 BlackguyExecutive, Oct 19, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2015
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