QUESTION: In High School Were You Openly Gay, Openly Bisexual Or Were You Pretending To Be Straight?

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by Nick Delmacy, Oct 18, 2015.

  1. Comment Imported From Main Site

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    I was the one who was Gay and there was no hiding t. At that time in my life I had to be the Loudest, have the brightest hair colors and have the baddest chicks in school as my besties.... I was the only one in my school of that nature, hell I was damn near the only one in the city of Boston of that caliber.... By day I was called a Fag and Tormented and by night the boys would come over and we would do unspeakable things that we vowed to take to the grave... In my school I dealt with 3 Types of Boys: 1- The Wannabees, they wanted to be accepted by the real nukkas so they started trouble with me and we ended up fighting. They always got that ass whipped, but everyone wanted to be the first boy to whip my ass... (Hasn't happened.) 2- The Toys, my toys had girlftiends and claimed that they was cool with me cuz their girl was cool with me... HOWEVER, when she went to sleep, Babeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... The things I played withhhhhhh. Yes Gawddddddddddddddddd. Ooh, memories. 3- The Fronts, the fronts dogged me in the hallways and made me appear as less than human. They called me all types of names and chose to always ensure that they made my days hell. When day turned to night they all wanted their dicks sucked, balls licked and they wanted to fuck. We played around for YEARS and we ended when high school ended. I don't know what type of a zone I was in at that time but I was really dealing with a lot of acceptance issues and trying to figure out what it was to be gay and figure out how I was suppose to navigate as a black male. Thanks to high school, I refuse to date. I hate all men. I look at men as property and I have an extreme lack of emotion......... BooM
     
  2. Jdudre

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    I knew I was gay since I was a little boy I would mess around with boys and girls while growing up, but by the time I got to high school I knew I was gay. I didn't say anything cause am naturally shy and don't speak or express my self much.
     
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  3. Comment Imported From Main Site

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    I was not openly gay in high school. Being gay was very taboo back then ('70's). I did not want to be labeled a sissy or queer. I had many friends, both male and female, but never had a special girlfriend. I was very popular in school and excelled academically. I participated in extracurricular activities, such as marching band, student government, elected class president, and voted "best personality" for my senior class. I did all the things to make sure my college applications looked great and to fit in with everyone. However, I did have a crush on one guy in high school. I felt I was in love, but never expressed my true feelings to him. He was a year older and we both had a different set of friends, so we never got a chance to "hang out". We would only share secret glances when we passed each other in the hallways or other parts of campus. This lasted for two years. Neither one of us wanted to let our friends know that we liked each other. We did have one class together where I had a chance to sit near him. But we never had a chance to actually be alone where we could have talked about our feelings. Needless to say, there was no sex. However, I would have jumped at the opportunity if I had the courage. When he graduated, I felt my only true love in high school had departed. We never connected after high school. I never knew what could have been. So I guess by default I pretended to be straight, a part of the status quo.
     
  4. Michael

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    No I was pretending to be Asexual. I didn't do anything with anyone. Whenever a girl would show interest I would just shy away. Whenever a dude showed interest I would...oh wait...that never happened lol
     
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  5. Quentin Bell

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    As someone who's only been out of high school only a year ago, I always had an attraction towards guys, but never really identified with any sexual orientation in high school. Just recently I'm now comfortable with acknowledging that I am a black gay man. Unlike most closeted gay males in high school, I never took a chance in dating girls because I didn't see the point in trying to fake it. In high school, I never dated because 1. I didn't find females sexually attractive and 2. Nobody in my high school came out as gay without repercussions. The only gay person that I knew of in my school was a black guy who wore makeup and beads in his hair. What really got to me was that while many of the students ( I went to a predominately black school who were even suspected to be gay got teased... most of the athletic guys or jocks horse played in a gay manner and nobody said anything. There was a guy who I had a crush on in school who made it an effort every class period to feel me up under the desk and flirt with me. But when the day ended he returned to his jockish ways and handled the girls. So in a way I was quiet about my sexuality because I didn't know if my feelings back then were real or if I was just getting played.
     
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  6. Comment Imported From Main Site

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    From South Africa here. I went to an all boys high school in Johannesburg in the mid 2000s. The senior English teacher was gay and married to his partner. So being openly gay was not anything new or much of an issue. There were a few of us (openly gay/bi boys) in every grade, some of us got along some hated each other. The difficulty was being put in a box. Once you came out, you had to convince others that your interest in contact sport was genuine. Yes there was constant name calling but the school was a meritocracy. So it became pointless calling the openly gay top achieving students "fags" or "fudge packers "... Looking back I think it was easier to be out in an English speaking Boys school in South Africa. The culture is liberal and emphasis is on individual development rather than assimilation. Sex. Boy there was a lot of sex. The DL, fems, curious boys all got sex in and outside school. Being openly gay meant you'll be cornered and have your numbers asked for or made to answer stupid questions about gay sex. Flashing was a thing back then so it wasn't so hard to flirt with a straight guy. Or suck off a closeted senior. Yes, gays/sgl boys were definitely a minority and the majority were definitely straight but it definitely was common to hear classroom discussions about "if there were no women... I would only allow another guy to suck me off etc". I have to mention that I was lucky in that the mid 2000s were a special time for LGBT in South Africa. For the first time gay marriage was legalised and gay kisses were all over prime time television. So classroom conversations were often following these developments and perhaps that's what made it easy for me to come out so early in my teens. There was no culture of repressiveness. The big issue came up with us black students having to come out to our black families (who mostly hold traditional African values i. e reproduction is good for the family etc). Few of us did and those who did, found it easier to do so in urban areas than in rural places. Paranoia was/is always there. There will always be that straight guy who will give off confusing signals and the fear of rejection. I was rejected ALOT in high school, I tend to be attracted to guys who manly in their habits and boyish in their looks. So it hurt to be rejected but by the time I got to varsity it made me confident.
     
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  7. Mendizi

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    I pretended to be straight at high school even though a couple of ppl had a gut feeling that I was gay.
     
  8. BlackOnyx1

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    for me i thought i was bisexual so i said i was bicurious however by the time my senior year rolled around i knew i was fully gay. however i found this very disturbing that everyone from my class to the seniors during my freshmen year were so concerned about my sexuality in hindsight i found out that my high school was and still is the home of down low motherfuckers as far as the men, the girls that were gay/bisexual no one cared but all these motherfuckers were so thirsty to know who i was with like WTF. anyway my friends knew and I told them and they didn't care and we are still good friends till this day. i wasn't so much paranoid around them it was just my parents that's all. and till this day i have not had sex with another man and there are many reasons why (another story for another time)
     
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  9. Mendizi

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    The one thing I find interesting about my high school was that everyone new all the girls who were lesbian. Even at the other high schools near by. And the funny thing is, no one would mess them about or even think of giving them abuse. They would simply knock you out if you tried lol. Glad to say that years later (many years) when I still see these women now, they always stop and we have a chat.
     
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  10. KritiKal Analysis

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    When I was in high school, I didn't have romantic or sexual attractions to dudes. I was always able to say that dudes were handsome, but never had any other desires outside of that. I didn't realize my attraction to dudes until about 5 years ago.
     
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  11. uptown177

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    In HS i never messed with a guy. I was always curious really young but the whole religious thing scared me. In college was when I first started messing around with guys. I was on BlackPlanet and Migente.com. Come up with a creative name and stay in the chat room and you will get someone. My impressions of gay bi guys were all flames to be honest. When I started meeting guys like myself I was taken back and surprised. I would do my late night runs and I compared it to being like a vampire. DO the deed at night and bounce before sunlight. It turns out people I went to school with are the same way as well so I found out.
     
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  12. Tyroc

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    So what's your story?

    I was always more attracted to other males inside but I played along with what society and my surroundings deemed acceptable.

    Were you Openly gay in high school?

    Not at all. I was quite popular with the horny rebelling Italian and Albanian girls. I looked old enough to be a senior when I was a sophomore with my wrap around beard and baby mustache.


    Were you openly Bisexual?

    Closeted bi-sex in cruising areas but when I had a girlfriend, I was faithful to just her.

    Were you paranoid like me?

    Extremely paranoid. The 80's in Da Bronx were a funny time. Homosexuality was rampant but still taboo.

    Did you have gay sex at all as a high school student?

    Not with other high school students. The cruising spots were always adults, older dudes.
    I've been sexually active since I was around
    9 or 10. Curiosity has always been one of my worst traits.

    Let us know your journey through adolescence..

    It was a fun but dangerous time. Anal sex at that point in my life wasn't a pleasing option on either end (pun intended) I did try pretty much everything multiple x's to know honestly whether I liked it not.
    Outdoor sexing was for a long time during my formative years the only option but it was always fun.
    I was able to say to myself that I tried different dudes and girls and knew that as fun as they were, I liked sex better with a connection and I wanted to connect that way with a dude permanently.
     
  13. Champagne Papi

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    It was kind of weird for me....now, I knew I wasn't straight because I was attracted to dudes but at the same time, I didn't like or have any romantic feelings/lust for boys. Truthfully yeh, during high school, I found myself being attracted more to girls and getting butterflies when interacting with them. And when it came to boners, it was mostly for girls....Like Nick, titties were my weakness, I loved me some boobs. And going to high school in the souf, the girls down here were thick from the cornbread and the cabbage. When it came to guys, it never passed more than "he's f*cking hot" or "he's got a really nice a** (till this day, a dude's butt is my ultimate weakness!).

    So in that sense, I never ventured out or explored anything with dudes (or girls for that matter)....not a kiss, not holding hands, not even copping a feel. I just didn't care nor had the need for exploration, I mostly was like "f*ck that."


    In university is where I started having strong romantic feelings/lust for guys. But even then, I still didn't have the feeling or urge to explore it, I still had that "f*ck that" attitude. And it wasn't because I was ashamed or I was scared to try things with a guy, I truly did not have the desire to. Don't get me wrong, I kissed guys and did homoerotic things with other dudes, but mostly all cases were because of college and frat parties.

    I didn't start dating till months after I graduated and got my degrees, which was like a year and a half ago....But, I do regret having that "f*ck it" attitude and regret not having the desire or interest to explore in general with guys....I think it would have made dating now a lot easier for me.
     
  14. Champagne Papi

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    [​IMG]
    ....Aww, Nick, this kind of made me sad. :(
     
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    Now that I think about it.... I got more action in HS than in adult life. what the fucks good? :dafuq3:
     
  16. lancem451

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    Pretending still to this date
     
  17. DC.

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    In high school I was out since I came out in eigth grade. And looking back on it I kind of wish I would have waited. Because when people started finding out, everyday of high school felt like a day of mortal kombat for me until junior year came around. Because I was always having to defend myself. And once I even had people follow me


    Home from school. Planning to jump me. And as a 14 year old that sh** is scary dude. And it made me think to myself "what have I done"? Lmao I never announced I was gay, but of course in high school close friends have the biggest mouths. My first encounter with a guy was when I was 12. So while I wished things could've been different it has allowed me now after 10 years to be comfortable with my sexuality whereas most 22 years old are now attempting to try to become comfortable with it. Now coming out younger is easy. But at the time I wished I would've had say a helping hand or a mentor, or someone who I felt could look out for me, but I had none of that.

    I had my brother and he would stand up for me but that was it. He didn't understand what challenges I faced. Not to mention I was trapped in a house with parents with old school Haitian thinking that didn't embrace homosexuality, so things were tough and I felt like it was me against the world. Because at that time gay people on time were just tokens on tv, such as the "cartoonish gay best friend" and that was really it. So it made
    Me question a lot. And some
    Of the people who put me down as being gay in high school I came to learn years after graduating were gay. Which while it makes sense..., I still feel that why do that? Like even though you couldn't intervene why jump in to those kind of things. That timeframe was good and bad, I would say. Lol but it's made me
    A stronger man, and I never hold ill feelings or build up any resentment because at the time
    I was a kid and so were they, so they didn't know any better. And I'm sure for some
    Of those who identify as gay are hopefully choosing to do better
     
  18. NickAuzenneNOLA

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    I first became fully aware of my SGL feelings in high school. I wasnt out because I guess you have to perform a certain kind of identity in order to fit in. I was a popular kid, played most every sport, held most offices, Homecoming King and was always playing some instrument or another so the lens was often on me! I never felt I could be myself because I represented more than me which I believe is why once I got to college I eventually came out as bisexual in a big way. I had a girlfriend and boyfriend off and on in High School but the "boyfriend" at that time wasnt necessarily understood to be that to me but from conversations when we were both adults I can see how that was definitely my first experience with same sex intimacy although I would not consider it my first relationship. I didnt have my first serious and out relationship with a man until I was 20.
     
  19. acessential

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    Nice to see another dude who came out super early like me. Sorry to hear about the issues you faced though. But you're right, it DEFINITELY puts you in a better position in terms of accepting your sexuality by your 20s. Sometimes I forget how difficult it can be for other dudes my age because I've been out for so long and pretty much have gotten over everything. I hope that younger dudes coming up now are able to adjust even better than we did.
     
  20. DC.

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    What age did you come out? And yeah it does, I feel it puts us ahead of the game, because all of the ugly stuff we don't have to deal with as much anymore. But sometimes I ponder upon the question, would I have been more better equipped coming out at my age now than back then? And yeah sometimes I forget too, how it is for people our age. I'm just surprised though more people within our age ranges arent as out.
     
  21. acessential

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    I started when I was 13. I feel you though. Better "equipped?" Maybe. But like I said, I do think it overall puts folks in a better position if they come out earlier rather than later. I know a lot of dudes who say they wish they would have come out sooner.
     
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  22. lancem451

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    I was in the closet in High school and 30 years later I'm still in the closet
     
  23. Deacon

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    I wasn't openly gay I wasn't in the closet and I wasn't play straight, I was me. I was cool with the majority of the people I went to school with, your typical non-threatening all around nice guy. Being cool with females in all different types of clicks I was alway hooking my males friends up with female friends of mine. I knew I was gay and had a few guys I messed around with but at that time people didn't asked me if I was or wasn't. Some may have assumed I was because I never had a quote unquote girlfriend but I guess because I wasn't effeminate I was left alone. Mind you this was in the eighties, we did have Gus in my high school that were gay but nobody fucked with them in a negative manner, they were cool with everybody. I was once asked why I never came out in high school and response was I didn't see a need for me to do so, notion I ever did was done in the dark, the guys I went out and hooked up with were all masculine your typical jock, popular BMOC types that at the time would say it was just messing around and we kept it between us.
     
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  24. SesaWoSuban

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    It pains me to think of High School, I would change so many things If I could do it all over again. I graduated High School in 2004. I grew up in a rural, predominantly African American town in Maryland; a town where I had only seen a few gay people. Coming out was not an option. There were a few guys in high school who were undoubtedly gay; even these guys had "girlfriends." I knew I was gay in the 6th grade, the time I got a boner at the urinal, when my crush took a piss beside me. Ever since, I decided to use the stalls. However, I was definitely in the closet in High School. I had the occasional girlfriend, our relationship would end abruptly after I failed to visit after school. I had straight friends that I lied to about who I had sex with. I was so stupid. I had the opportunity though. There was this blue eyed, white guy who I'm pretty sure rubbed his leg on mine in art class, offer to take me home from school. I denied. The closest I came to having sex with a dude was.... I'll make this short. There was a girl in our neighborhood who was very generous with her services. She regularly gave head to me and all of my friends. One summer, I think I went and got head daily, just to watch her suck off other guys. lol. We practically had our d**** stacked over one another. Had it not been for that, I would've chucked the deuces. Anyway. I was very much closeted until I went away for college.
     
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  25. jpo

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    I went to an all-male, Catholic high school in NYC in the early 60s, had my first inklings there that I was attracted to boys, but never acted on it. Had a tight circle of friends, about 1/3 of them later came out. Our common interests involved Manhattan movies on the weekends, occasional Broadway shows, museums - you can see the stereotype forming. But I was never sexually attracted to any of the boys in the group. So, it was all pretty closeted. I don't recall any conversations about sexuality but they must have happened. I did have a serious crush on one guy. Nothing really special, not an athlete, not an above average student/achiever, good looks but not model type. Could I explain it to myself? No. I just could not take my eyes off him when I was around him.

    About 15 years later, I moved back to NYC for a while, was at a party with friends. I did not know the person whose apartment we were partying in and I did not know most of the men there. I heard a voice I thought I recognized, I looked for the speaker and when I saw who it was I thought he was familiar but could not place him. A friend told me his name and then I remembered. I introduced myself (again) to my now grown boy crush. He remembered me. We talked for the rest of the evening. He was/is straight but he was still a turn on. I told him about my crush (after all it was pretty much a gay crowd at the party). He was surprised, asked why I never said anything. It struck me as odd - really in 1965 in a high school hit on someone - not likely, as least not for me. In high school I was still trying to figure it out.

    Like all good parties and food, it's really best to enjoy them the day after and the next day my friends were curious why I spent so much time talking to him. When I told them the reason, one friend who knew the guy a little, said that I may have been the first to have an unrequited crush on him, but a very long line followed me.

    It took college, weekends in Boston and back in NYC to figure it out and act on it, but even then it was still undercover. It took a while longer to blow the doors off the closet.
     
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  26. Rico

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    Well, as usual, I'm the outlier in the statistical population. My life is a lot like Kevin Kline in "In and Out." While a lot of bruhs here were open or discreet at that age, or at least knew and repressed, I had no damn idea that it was in me. In high school, I thought my destiny was to get married, have kids, wear a cardigan sweater and dispense wisdom like Mike Brady (considering his real life, the irony is delicious). I'm very cisgender masculine in daily life, and church women still hit on me (which is hilarious as I'm both gay and at least knew I was ATHEIST since high school). I knew I appreciated the male form when younger, particularly the black male form, but I thought it was just an art class thing, as I appreciated drawing fine female bodies, too. Years later, it starts unwinding slowly and I realized how so much shid from teenage years onward was a repression of that side of myself (it all came out in therapy). So, I envy a lot of you all, as you were at least cognitively aware what was going on. My conscious mind was repressing subconscious desires BIG TIME, like my superego was some closeted Republican hypocrite oppressing the id and ego. After you realize what's going on consciously, it's strange to see how things were going on around you and you didn't have a damn clue; e.g. Professors and grad students that were intimating things and making moves on me, particularly as a freshman and sophomore, and me clueless as hell!

    In retrospect, unlike Nick, my dik might have regrets as to not being aware about my orientation when younger, but my soul don't. A lot of those same people I knew in college later died of AIDS and I went to college right before AZT came on the scene. Knowing me, I would have belly flopped in tha life and probably be dead myself. So, coming into your true self later ain't so bad. If you got to be the colonial era farm peasant that gets the pox, better to be exposed AFTER Pasteur shows up than before!
     
    #61 Rico, May 22, 2016
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  27. Naturally10Me

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    There wasn't anything but thoughts of f****g dudes and chicks at the same time in my head in high school. I was a preachers kid. So if it didn't happen at church, it wasn't happening!
     
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  28. jusrawb

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    I was openly straight in high school but it is when I started to experiment with another player on the basketball tea but it was on and off because I wasn't ready to accept doing gay stuff. I had some females throughout high school and one serious relationship. I wish I was openly gay though just to see how different it would have been.
     
  29. JohnDoe

    The 100 Daps Club

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    Late to the party, as usual.

    Openly gay? Not in my school. But I was suspect.

    I wasn't confused about what I liked in high school: masculine guys, girls for company and big tits.

    I was a nerd so girlfriends weren't on the menu even if I wanted them. I wasn't part of the "in" crowd so the jocks never got the opportunity to grill me about my masculinity (or lack thereof). Maybe alot of my classmates suspected me but they weren't going to get me to confirm it.

    I had a HUGE crush on one of the jocks. He taught me the art of watching without staring. Came in very handy in college. Lol
     
    Cyrus-Brooks dapped this.
  30. Nicholan

    Nicholan thencrowd14.com
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    Just finished reading your story Nick and it is AMAZING how similar a lot of our stories are.

    I pretty much knew that I was attracted to the same sex since nursery school. Lol! That's young right!? By time middle school hit and all the other guys started going through puberty and having a strong attraction for girls, I realized that I still didn't share that same attraction. That's when I thought,

    "okay, something must be wrong with me."

    I use to justify why I wasn't attracted to girls by thinking that I could just be a late bloomer and once high school hits, I would develop nicely and just be a complete ladies man...and into sports...

    yeah, that didn't happen... lol.

    Damn...

    So in high school I was just confused as hell. Growing up, my hobby was drawing so I decided to attend a high school for the arts. This made my process a little easier because I was surrounded by SO many different types of people. People who came off as being comfortable in their own skin.

    During 9th and 10th grade, I was completely closeted. I tried to act like I had crushes on girls just because they were pretty. You know how that goes, the pretty girls are always the easier targets because "in my mind" they would make me look more "hetero" if I liked them or could even get with one. I dressed in extra baggy clothes and all that bs, just to through people off. Baggy clothes were in style back then though lol.

    In 11th grade I discovered chat groups on the internet. This started getting me more comfortable with the idea of being "gay" because I chatted with a lot of different type of guys. One reason I always struggled with the idea of being gay is because I never saw other "gay guys" who I was attracted to. My thought was,

    My future isn't looking too bright for this whole gay thing, smh...

    I use to chat with my best friend from school and Yahoo Messenger a lot. Good ol' Yahoo Messenger. That is the moment I had the courage to finally "come out" to someone. Her response was PRICELESS. She was completely unbothered, lol, which made me feel a lot better about myself.

    12th grade was when I was basically out to a lot of people.
     
    acessential and mojoreece dapped this.
  31. Nicholan

    Nicholan thencrowd14.com
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    Wow, I can't even imagine how life would be growing up gay in Jamaica. I've heard stories. Btw, which movie or show is that GIF from? lol
     
  32. sekou

    sekou I be Jamaican
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    you get use to how to navigate the environment, but every now and again you hear of a scenario. as for the movie , just a random gif i found somewhere
     
    Nicholan dapped this.
  33. Pawl See

    Pawl See Lurker

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    Yeah bruh. Same here I must've been twelve or so. Got sexualized early on and kept it moving throughout middle and high school. Then got really quiet and booed up in college.
     
  34. Pawl See

    Pawl See Lurker

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    Bruh, I definitely connect with much of ya story.

    I was sexualized at a very early childhood age. I played house with a lil neighborhood girl all the time.

    My middle school buddy formally introduced me to much more. Actually, I was fucking everybody in middle school. Dudes and chicks.

    I created a Lil special group of dudes in high school and kept em in rotation, while also focusing on knocking down lots of the popular cats, athletes, and sexy niggas that seemed otherwise unattainable.

    Thinking back on it, I wasn't openly anything. I was just getting it in-school bathrooms, gym locker rooms, stadium bleachers, cars in parking lots, auditorium and cafeteria.

    Damn the shit sounds pretty sad when I put it out like this.
     
  35. Boaxy

    Boaxy SO FIERCE
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    I was openly gay, subconsciously. I dind't have a choice. If I wanted to straight act and fit in more, not get bullied as much, and just let it not be an issue, I would have.
     
    BlackOnyx1 dapped this.
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