Same Sex Flirting: Using What You Got to Get What You Want

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by ControlledXaos, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. ControlledXaos

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    [​IMG]
    When at a restaurant, I usually flirt and smile and be extra nice so that I can hopefully get nice service. At stores I'll do the same thing. Having lived in Atlanta for a little bit, the opportunity to same sex flirt is frequent. I don't do it a lot but I will.

    I have smiled at the more feminine guy at the Taco Bell drive through, complimented the server at the Applebee's, asked for the opinion of the dude at the TJ Maxx... All for the purpose of getting good service.

    Now, I have had some bad experiences with The Gays and this. Not often. Maybe 2 percent of the time. I have had some really bitter type feminine men give me the stink face. Or have a really bad attitude. It's just being a little nicer. Not trying to get with these guys so sometimes people just can't receive it the way you are intending it.
    [​IMG]

    In my experience I can not think of any instance where a female service provider negatively received the flirtation. I am thinking half the time they are probably just glad someone's genuinely being nice as opposed to harassing them.

    Does anyone have problems with public same sex flirting?


    I will admit that I'm more open to it here than Bugtussle, TN for example, however if the service provider is obviously gay, I have no problem with it in a smaller town.
     
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  2. DFW Brutha

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    I'm amicable with all waiters/waitresses (even the mad-at-the-world types) so hopefully they (or the cooks) don't treat my order like this...
    [​IMG]
     
  3. grownman

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    See...uhh I don't know. I guess my answer would be yes. I don't feel a sense of warmth from gay men or women. Lol. (But that's a whol notha thread-someone else can do.) I've noticed that too. I try to be nice-just in the form of being pleasant. Uggh...I think that I probably give off a stank face too. I do automatically to iced down-before they get me. You know what I mean?

    I guess to answer from my perspective their is nothing with flirting at both sexes. I do more it often with straight men and women. Of course, with the men it's not so direct.

    Just today, their is a new leasing manger that just arrived here at my current complex. He is straight for what I know but the energy was fun and lighthearted. I loved his bald and goatee with the side burns connected. He was a white dude. But I felt totally comfortable. On the other hand, me and my sister went out to eat and the server was a black, feminine dude. When we were ordering he avoided making eye contact with him. He mostly dealt with my sister and only looked at me to get my order.

    I think he sensed from the deep look that I gave him we were on the same team. I wasn't judging him but that's how he took it. I always look into everyone's eyes.
     
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  4. bisonboy

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    I do it but didn't know it had an actual name. Now that I know, I will probably step my game up just a little bit more to try to get a number and maybe a date out of one of these RARE "same sex flirting" moments
     
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  5. bisonboy

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    I do this a lot too just because I want to see their reaction and I like EYE CONTACT!
     
  6. DreG

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    I flirt with men in public ,but I think other people besides my mark aren't fully aware of the intentions behind the attention I'm giving the dudes.
    I'm so mad at you about this subtitle btw.
     
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  7. Tyroc

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    I've always found a smile opens many doors for me.
    It takes people's guards down and it usually makes them more compliant, which in my line of work had been the difference between a good day and unnecessary roll around.

    Smile at the cashier in a department store and you may get a friends and family discount or they'll take that extra time out of their frustrating day to go look for that item in the back.
    I once had the gate ticket taker upgrade me to first class, only the once though.
    I've had the best and easiest cell phone number for the last 16yrs because I was flirtatious with a sales rep who took the time to pick out a number that I liked, I thank her forever for that.

    I've noticed It's confusing to mostly black straight women and black gay effeminate men. They always fish for more, as if the smile and slight flirtation might mean more.

    ALL servers get a smile and a good attitude from me to a little under flirting because I am crazy paranoid of what perceived unfriendliness will bring to my food or drink.

    Aside from my commute to and from work on the NYC transit system where smiling is usually reserved for the unstable, I'm known for my smile. image.gif
     
  8. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    In general I flirt more with straight men than gay men, ironically. You'd be surprised how much guys like a little attention. I do go overboard to make fem and trans men I meet in public places like restaurants and stores feel comfortable too.
     
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  9. ControlledXaos

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    See I couldn't really flirt with a confirmed straight guy. They are like forbidden fruit and I may forget where I am and take it too far. Lol
     
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  10. SB3

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    I inadvertently flirt w str8 men all the time. Work certainly creates opps for it, but a lot of the time it's just natural. Eventho I know it's a dead end, lol.
     
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  11. alton

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    LOL I'm mostly looking at the signs/ advertisements the whole time I'm on the train, dude. (I refuse to be a societal clone and bury myself in my phone) Eeeeeeeevery blue moon someone will catch my eye and I may look and give a slight nod and 1/4 smile, but normally I maintain a very nondescript expression. I'm normally only on the train at the two times when nobody is in an amicable mood, mornings (people mad because they're on the way to work), and evenings (People madd because they're dealing with rush hour crowds). LOL I feel funny smilin' at people, unless it's a little baby. LMAO
     
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  12. acessential

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    I sometimes find myself being extra friendly to white men who are obviously gay. I guess it's my way of combating the view that black men are dangerous and homophobic. I wouldn't call it flirting though. And I don't always reveal my sexual orientation.

    I would never flirt with a straight dude though. Even with ones who are supposedly comfortable with gay people. I had a straight friend this summer who wanted to dance with me at this straight salsa club. But I told him I felt like it was too awkward and couldn't do it.
     
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  13. Tyroc

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    On the flip side, I'm not a big fan of men, gay or straight flirting with me in public.
    I never quite know how to take it and it makes me slightly uncomfortable.
     
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  14. ControlledXaos

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    Yeah I'm not over doing it. It's really rather subtle. I am probably more expressive with the body language, smiles eye expressions and such over actual words.
     
  15. Tyroc

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    With you on that. I stare at the ceiling, blank walls, the lights, or like you say the adverts. There is a recurring "trainger" that I ride with in the evenings and we went from nods to him cheesin at me when we catch eyes.
    I'm on 3 trains both ways and two of them are fighting trains, where 9 ½ out of 10 riders are the mad folks of NY, NO SMILING allowed!
     
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  16. alton

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    LMFAO One of those has got to be either the C or the A. A bunch of angry ass West Indian folk
     
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  17. Tyroc

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    Check and check! The G also.
     
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  18. alton

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    Im on the J/M (and N/Q if I catch the J, xnfr at Canal St.) to and from work. Used to be a bunch of 'angry" minority folk, but now it's a bunch of happy-go-lucky, sunshiny white folk, which just makes the remaining minority folk even angrier. LOL!!
     
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  19. Tyroc

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    Yep, J is one of my morning trains but I catch it going to canal from Fulton and it's nice and empty for those two stops.
    The only train I never have to scowl on.
    If I take it in the evening to back to Fulton, still not so crowded but I take it with co-workers and with me, there's always gonna be laughter during the ride.
     
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  20. alton

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    Lucky you. LOL I'm "alone" for both trips (and subsequent destinations)
     
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  21. OhSheit

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    Sometimes I wish that I would have gotten braces when I was younger.
     
  22. Tyroc

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    It's never too late.
    A lot of adults I know have done it.
     
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  23. Champagne Papi

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    I'm the same with fem men and I don't know why though....I'm inadvertently more kind to them and more likely to go out of my way to be nice.
    [​IMG]
     
  24. Champagne Papi

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    When I used to go to frat parties while in school, it would always be the straight white dudes that would ask to kiss....I used to hate that sh*t. I used to feel like they thought I could be their guinea pig to try out gay sh*t with; it was annoying.

    I feel you on the never flirting with straight dudes....I'on know, to me, straight dudes repulse me in a way (when it comes to developing any feelings, crushing, flirting, etc.)....it's probably because I don't see the point of it or I hate to boost up their ego and perpetuate the idea of them believing that all gay dudes want them.
     
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  25. Cyrus-Brooks

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    On occasion I will flirt with straight women or men I perceive to be gay get better service. Case in point I flirted with a chick at a rent-a-car place to get an midsized car for compact car rate. Also flirted with the server at Fridays to get extra fries with my order. It's harmless and fun. Life can be filled with unpleasant interactions especially when you work in customer service so there's nothing wrong with being flirtatious to get what you want. Having worked in retail for a while I've had people flirt with me, even people I would expect to do so any other circumstance and that made me more inclined to to help them out as opposed to someone who is rude or unpleasant.
     
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  26. bisonboy

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    This is me a lot when someone may be trying to flirt with me lol
     
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  27. bisonboy

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    I have them now, for the second time.
     
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  28. bpaisle

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    It can be fun, sometimes even just to see how the other person reacts. I won't openly hit on a guy, if I don't know his orientation, but I'll do more subtle stuff like smiling and shaking his hand for just a second too long. Women are a lot easier.
     
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