Sexual roles

Discussion in 'Sex and Adult' started by Michael, Nov 16, 2015.

?

Would you be able to be in a relationship with someone that is the same role as you sexually?

  1. Yes

    31 vote(s)
    72.1%
  2. No

    12 vote(s)
    27.9%
  1. Michael

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  2. SB3

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    Tone Bell looks like a dread-less version of 1 of my closest friends. Its crazy
     
  3. Michael

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    Is your friend hanging out with us?
     
  4. SB3

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  5. bpaisle

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    I could date a dude that was the same "role" as me. I'm vers so it wouldn't be a deal breaker for a dude to be either a bottom or a top. Now if they say they don't give head...
    Emma-Stone-Bye-Bye-Gif.gif
     
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  6. Discordant

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    I dated another bottom before. We had an issue because both of us like penetrative sex, but he wasn't willing to top me and I wasn't open to letting others in our bedroom. I can only top but so many times before I need a bottom recharge lol. If the next bottom was open to being more versatile, I might be open to dating another one.
     
  7. Michael

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    Okay, so basically you'd need someone to be a top or versatile.
     
  8. Discordant

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    Pretty much.
     
  9. DFW Brutha

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    To each his own...
    [​IMG]

    As for me...
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Champagne_Papi

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    This is something we have in common....Although I haven't had sex yet nor know my role, I have a feeling that I would probably enjoy being a top more. But since I don't really know, I worry about the problems that might create in the future.

    And to add, none of the dudes I've talked to have allowed me to explore that side of me to see if that's what I'll truly enjoy more because mostly all of them have been tops....and with that, they haven't been opened minded about it and excepted that I'll become a submissive bottom for them (which I wouldn't mind if I truly loved the dude....but what's the point of making him happy when I'm not getting the same consideration?) since they're already a top.
     
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  11. Champagne_Papi

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    ....I'm going through that right now. I've been "talking" to this dude for a minute now yeh and I'm afraid to to ask....mostly because I'm afraid he'll say he's a top....and I'm fine with that....its just that, I truly don't want to date another top right now at this point.
     
  12. cypher21

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    Yikes, this is my fear...(this sounds so ridiculous to say but) I feel like I would be a bottom but I just don't want to be forced into that role because you're "strictly a top" Now again I don't have any personal experience with this but I feel it's like you said at the end what's the point of have sex if both parties don't get any pleasure out of it??
     
    #82 cypher21, Dec 21, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
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  13. Jaa

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    If you're lucky, the next guy you're into could be versatile to some degree and you could try both. Or you could specifically seek a vers dude if looking for a guy with an app where that info may be available in advance. Since gay men haven't adopted sexual versatility as a rule, I'm not sure he would be "forcing" you to be a bottom. As long as many guys have strong preferences for certain roles, it could just mean you're sexually incompatible if you discover that you don't like bottoming, unless you like the guy so much otherwise that you're willing to take one for the team. If you want to bottom and find you like it, it's probably best to not dwell on the dynamic and meaning of bottoming for a strict top. Just go with the flow and enjoy it if you like it or have a discussion at some point regarding your interest in topping, possibly ending whatever you two are doing if he won't go for it.

    I've heard arguments for and against being forthcoming with sexual roles early in dating. Some say it shouldn't matter or early dates should be about getting to know one another nonsexually, others say it's best to get it out of the way early because, if one or both of you will only feel satisfied when dating a top/bottom/versatile, why find out you're incompatible later after multiple dates. Something straight people don't have to think about because they have physically defined and expected positions (at least until you get into nontraditional sexual interests and kinks).
     
  14. cypher21

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    Thanks for the advice! That's what am looking out for hopefully someone versatile if it gets that far. I know things aren't completely back or white but based on so many stories I hear on the site and beyond I guess I've developed this notion that something like this could get in the way of a good relationship...idk. I guess if you let that get in the way then maybe it isn't that good...
     
    #84 cypher21, Dec 21, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
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  15. Champagne_Papi

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    I understand where you're coming from....I don't want my exploration to be stifled and be limited to a certain role by someone who has a strong preference for a certain role.

    This is going to sound silly, but, I wish I already had sex at a younger age. I feel this whole virginity thing at my age just makes dating even harder and more stressful for me.
     
  16. cypher21

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    same.
     
    #86 cypher21, Dec 21, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
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  17. Dr. Strange

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  18. Champagne_Papi

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  19. Deacon

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    For me the sexual role isn't as important as him being masculine, I've been relationships where there was no anal penetration and ones where one was a top and one was a bottom. Lucky for me the guys I've been in serious relationships with were at least open sexually to trying things out that they weren't seriously comfortable with. As long as you're willing to give something a try (within reason) there most likely no to be any problems when it comes to sex.
     
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  20. JohnDoe

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    Granted I'm late to this conversation. I wanted to ask this in a separate post but since you brought it up let me add this question: If this imbalance is real does it justify some of the infidelity (d sharing) that's observed?
     
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