Should Grindr filter by HIV Status?

Discussion in 'Sex and Adult' started by LeMignon, Jul 13, 2016.

?

Do you use any gay hookup/dating apps?

Poll closed Jul 27, 2016.
  1. Yes

    3 vote(s)
    25.0%
  2. No

    6 vote(s)
    50.0%
  3. On and Off again

    3 vote(s)
    25.0%
  1. LeMignon

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  2. mojoreece

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    I think the author of the article might be mad because he is HIV positive and probably been discriminated against because of his status. I understand his pain. But Grindrs aim for most ppl is to have no strings attached sex/short relationships at least this is what most informally know when using the app. To be honest I think it can be good and bad. On one hand, ppl who are HIV positive will find it easier to find ppl who are open to be in a relationship with HIV positive ppl. On the other hand ppl still lie about their HIV/STD status and sexual history which is dangerous. I think the author would have made a better argument with companies like OKcupid or match.com and chrisitanmingle which are mostly aimed at finding a long term partner.
     
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  3. acessential

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    After dating an HIV positive dude at one point, I'm sympathetic to this guy's views. There is definitely a lot of ignorance and misunderstanding about HIV and I can imagine something like this only contributing to that ignorance. It's better to be able to have conversations instead of just closing yourself off. Nobody is asking anyone to date HIV+ guys, but I think being able to block them automatically might be a little excessive. I know Grindr is mostly for sex, but you never know, maybe you'll miss out on the one time you'd actually be willing to make an exception for someone you otherwise click with. If not, at least allow yourself to get to know someone outside of their status before you decide that it's a dealbreaker.
     
  4. NikR

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    Ok, well first I'll have to call out the author. He only thinks that this filter is ' "THE" most depressing thing ever ' because he's affected by it. Suddenly he's feeling what black, Hispanic, Asian and all sorts of other groups feel when we/they are automatically subjected to prejudice masquerading as "preferences". I wonder what he feels about those filters. He probably doesn't. Oh look, I just answered my own rhetorical question.

    Anyways, I'm off that now. What do I think about it? It sounds absurd but then again, more ridiculous things have happened. The more important question is, what are you doing about it? How are you approaching future reationships and sex? I know what I do and I won't speak for anyone else. But I will say this-the people who are forthcoming about their positive status usually don't approach life like they are invincible.
     
    #4 NikR, Jul 16, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2016
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  5. ColumbusGuy

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    HIV status usually means that if one is a minority, they are not a 'visible' minority. It is not so easy to hide/lie about race, weight, age, 'disposition'(masc or femme), etc. Also if you are about dating, you should not have to automatically disclose HIV status, and if you are just about sex you should automatically disclose HIV status of your own accord. I can see where the guy is coming from, but it is not quite the same.
     
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  6. DFW Brutha

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  7. ColumbusGuy

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    I have never used any 'app' but I looked at those sites where they 'shame' the people who do and post crap of people who post rude stuff. SMH. They have no shame really. They are either totally stupid and oblivious or they are just racist as hell and do not care. It is bad enough to have that stuff, but even worse that they go ahead and post their pics(if not catfish and all) as if they do not give a shit. And other gays(who are not on the exclusion list) on these apps do not even care and respond to these people.

    No wonder white gays look so bad. We don't just ignore gays of color, we do stupid shit like this that is openly racist and antagonizing. I don't know what the answer is...if I start thinking about this stuff too long or too hard I just start hating all of humanity-like humans are the worst thing to ever happen to this planet,

    * I did use sites before 'apps' and even going back to the newspaper days...but I tried to use sites, papers, etc. that did not allow this stuff. Most would reject this stuff and some would not allow 'straight acting', etc.-you had to use 'masc' or 'masculine' instead of 'straight'-they would not tolerate that either(self hate and all).
     
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  8. SB3

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    Ive never lasted morw than 5 mins on an app, so my opinion is irrelevant, but I think it's kinda ridiculous. All of this filtering and insta-results mess is a problem to begin with. I get the relationship btwn status and stranger sex, but where do the filters end? This is why grown mofos are socially awkward w new gay men if they're not in the sack.
     
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  9. Rico

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    Unlike racial or body type preferences and filters, HIV status disclosure is a legal issue in many jurisdictions. I'm not an app user, but I'm curious as to whether the implementation of such filters could trigger unwanted civil or criminal actions? Maybe, maybe not. 32 states criminalize transmission of HIV, although President Obama has worked to encourage their repeals. Adding such a filter could open up a can of worms if one is knowledgeable about a positive status and doesn't disclose; e.g. a HIV+ dude goes on Grindr, doesn't use the filter and subsequently passes on the virus to hookups. Some zealous (most likely conservative, asshole) prosecutor could make an argument that by not using the filter to disclose status since that would be the expressed purpose of the filter, the person criminally transmitted HIV.

    I know the app Mister X encourages voluntary disclosure as they advertise themselves as a mature app for men who own up to or aren't afraid of their own status or others.
     
  10. LeMignon

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    I agree. I never completely knock the idea that love can come out of the apps. It's unlikely, but I think it's possible. And like you said, HIV status, at least for me, wouldn't be a dealbreaker. And I'd like to think that anyone who's educated on it and PREP also wouldn't make it a dealbreaker, but that's me being optimistic.
     
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  11. LeMignon

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    This issue is very conflicting for me.

    On one hand, I'm for all inclusiveness, understanding, and openness. I generally don't discriminate on the basis of race or status when it comes to dating. So the automatic answer when viewing this was: "No, grindr shouldn't filter via HIV status." And moreover, I could stand to learn a lot from people who are different from me whether it be race, status, area of town, tax break, age, etc... But then I thought more about it in terms of dating and hooking up...

    I do discriminate when it comes to dating. I scrutinize a lot--how he dresses, talks, his voice, his presence, drug use, is he mobile, is he employed or looking, age, previous marital status, etc... So dating, actually, is at my personal discretion. Who I hook up with is also at my personal discretion. And if I wanted to discriminate on those things too, I could... I see it as part of my own rights of choice and, because I'm educated and not closed-minded, I don't discriminate based on status... But I know oh so many people that are ignorant... And I kinda feel like those ignorant people are the majority unfortunately...

    So I have no real answer. It's just very conflicting for me! LOL
     
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  12. Dante

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    I think that this is where the buck stops with filtering, unless we can filter other health conditions/diseases.

    People on dating/sex apps should be honest about their STD/STI status. However, filtering isn't going to help enhance or to elevate the honesty.
     
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  13. alton

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    :umad:
     
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  14. SB3

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    As we discuss the lack of relationships amongst the gays, n @Nick Delmacy acting as if gays are crazy for wanting love.
     
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  15. ColumbusGuy

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    I had such a good reply to this all done and could not hit 'post reply' because I said I would stop trolling him dammit.
    :sadbron:
     
  16. alton

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    Well, you know @Nick Delmacy be chillin with the "Millennial" (and possibly GEN Z) crowd and their "turn around" rate is monthly (weekly in some cases). Ain't none of them lookin' for anything except the next fly a$$ IG Model so, you can't blame him for thinkin like he does LMAO
     
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  17. SB3

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    BS! I've been around this hood for a minute, n I fux w @Nick Delmacy tuff! Thats exactly why I will call him on his bs!
     
  18. ControlledXaos

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    Ian got nothin to add that's not already been said but I'm just tag @Nick Delmacy cause Ian bout sh!t and just want him to have a zillion notifications.

    :franko1::franko1::franko1:
     
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  19. alton

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    LMFAO!!!
     
  20. ColumbusGuy

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    SMH. See if I do this and @Nick Delmacy I am trolling.
    :nopekid:

    Of course I am only doing this @Nick Delmacy thing so I can accurately express what was in your post and all.
    :mjlol:
     
  21. SB3

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    I honestly just want somebody to bring me a Popeye's special right now....
     
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  22. alton

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    Here you go....
    [​IMG]
     
    #22 alton, Sep 6, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2016
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  23. ColumbusGuy

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    I want one of those....delivered by Rob Riley...without his shirt on....and he can stay awhile and I will call off work and break out the Titos. And he can't bring Chris Evans with him cause then they might get it on and I would just have to watch...well.....ok he could bring Chris Evans I could make popcorn and keep the Titos to myself.
     
  24. Nick Delmacy

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  25. alton

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    LMAO!! All I see is a link with the word "bullsh!t" in it, so.....
    [​IMG]
     
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  26. Nick Delmacy

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    Actually, my experience is the younger guys are the ones more so with the relationship fantasies, they also pretty much accept you for who you are if you have a working peen...The older guys I've met are the hookup IG model thirsters who want a nikka with PhDs, 401ks, muscles, Six Pack Abs, a house or condo downtown, a new car, sleeve full of tattoos, trendy clothes, an urban edge yet still business casual sophisticated...if you don't meet all those requirements, you're just hookup material.
     
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  27. alton

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    Well ATL must be "Bizarro World" because its the exact opposite here in the NYC, my nukka LMAO
     
  28. Nick Delmacy

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    Yeah ATL is full of older red carpet walking dudes who feel like they should be on one of those opulent reality shows
     
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  29. alton

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    [​IMG]
     
  30. Nick Delmacy

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    [​IMG]
     
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  31. SB3

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    Where is all that anger coming from?! See, u play entirely too damn much!
     
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  32. alton

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    LMAO
     
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  33. SB3

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    Brenda Johnson realness! I own my crazy!
     
  34. cuspofbeauty

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    I'm on the fence. With all the education and medication in the world some folks still feel some kind of way when meeting someone HIV positive.
     
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  35. SB3

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    And thats ok. Convos abt this kind of thing are ok, and necessary.
     
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