Stop asking black victims of white violence if they forgive their victimizers

It's part of the larger frame of the larger conversation white America wants to have with African Americans about everything involving white domination and privilege. African Americans are expected to forgive white America for slavery. In fact, most assume that African Americans have forgiven them. Because with forgiveness comes forgetfulness. And what is forgotten can be filed away at the back of the closet - the white American closet.

 

I don't think that forgiveness automatically means forgetfulness. I really don't think most white Americans believe blacks should just 'forget' that slavery happened. And I don't get this whole thing about 'forgiveness' either....I agree with Ocky and you on that. Why are they asking that?

Forgiveness, btw, is not for the perpetrator, but for the victim. You forgive for YOU so you can move forward and not be caught in time, suspended in hate and anger. Forgetting is not the same thing. What has happened has happened and you come to terms with it but it really is like history, forget it and you may be doomed to repeat it/go through it again, and you cannot learn from/teach others from what you have forgotten.

But again, you cannot be asked these stupid questions by the media unless you are ON the media. Why not just release statements saying what you want to say, and avoiding the media circus? I have never understood why people (even in ordinary situations where they have suffered a horrible loss), can be talking to reporters on tv just hours after the fact? I would want privacy and to hell with the media. I would be half out of my mind with grief and so many emotions I would avoid the media like the plague-if I felt I had to say something, I would have a statement released and that is it.

'You particularly don't see this ridiculous question being asked of white people when a person of color was responsible for the violence.'

No, but sometimes they offer it themselves:

Jennifer Trapuzzano on husband’s killer: ‘I forgive’
Why Davey Blackburn opted to forgive Amanda Blackburn's killers

These were just in Indianapolis alone and not that long ago. And this was done much after the fact.


*unfortunately, these two incidents have been used by white supremacists and other messed up whites/messed up white media/etc. to help demonize blacks and black men in particular-which is something the victims would never have wanted smh.

 

Yeah white people can be full of it and act like Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz when they're called out on their bullshit.

 

This is one of the many reasons that caused me to reject Christianity. This emphasis on "turn the other cheek" is philosophy of cowardice and weakness. Even when I was a Christian I didn't subscribe to this because even from an early age I knewe that's not how the world works. Passivity in the face of aggression only invites further attacks. This is why racists, be they groups like the KKK or even law enforcement behave the way they do because they know they can attack even murder black people with impunity and nothing will happen to them. We're the only group of people in the world expected to forgive who do us grave harm......that's bullshit. We are fools for going along with such nonsense for centuries.