So shortly after Mr. NWU* aka "work crush" switched from the math department to the reading department (he's a writer/journalist after all), I got another guy that was willing to help out in my classroom. Great right?! Well, not exactly...you see it's REALLY awkward between us. It's awkward because he's trying to figure me out. I can tell the new guy is trying to figure out whether or not I'm gay. It's a little unfair for him because I know he's gay because he's...*how do I say this without someone's panties getting in a bunch?* a little on the feminine side of things and, like I do with every other volunteer who helps me, I did a little background check. Btw, your Facebook tells all...lol. Anyways, his gaydar is sending out certain kinda frequencies (non-verbal communication) that only another same-sex attracted man would pick up and I'm intentionally pretending I don't hear them. Why? Because I'm worried about the rest of my coworkers finally knowing, without a shadow of a doudt, I'm gay. I know, I know, I know! But before you whip out the torches and pitchforks and burn me at the stake, lemme explain first... For those who don't know, I'm discreet. Basically, if you don't know I'm gay it's probably because I feel that's none of your fucking business. I personally prefer my coworkers not know what I do and who I do it with in my bed. Plus, I've clocked that many "ain't down with dat gay shit." I've seen how they've treated and subtly distanced themselves from the one or two openly gay guys we've had since I've been working there and it's not fair nor something I personally want. And because heterosexual logic presumes the following: one's proximity to homosexuality is homosexual. I've kept a safe distance from them as to maintain my cover. But, here's the problem: unlike the other gay men, the new guy is working with me in my class. I can't distance myself from him even if I wanted to. I was extra worried last week because old ass Miss Edwards just kept coming into my classroom just spying on us and it was so obvious as to why she was doing it too. So I know she has her suspicions... And it didn't help that I went and had to be a dick at last week's math department meeting and leave him to grade all those papers by himself because I didn't want it to look a certain way. I normally don't care what people think of me regarding my sexuality, but that's usually after I've told them I'm gay. This is different. I'm not in control of what they'll think of me and the things I know they'll say behind my back... So what do I do? I'd like to maintain my discretion, but not be so stand-offish towards the new guy. Has anyone else been in a situation similar to this? Am I even making any sense...? Lol Sidenote: *Mr. NWU is straight and recently married! *le sigh* Oh well, his wife's a very lucky lady.