What Are Your Thoughts on Dating “Busy” Men?

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Nick Delmacy, Nov 5, 2018.

  1. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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  2. Mrmack8913

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    I agree with homie. And this has been argued ad naseum. I used to deal wit dis dude who stayed "busy" and would reply to texts late af. Then I found out he jus smokes and plays PS4 like any other dude. Moral of the story: you always make time for wat u want. And no one can convince me otherwise. If ppl are so damn busy stay to ur busy self and don't engage wit others.
     
  3. RolandG

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    Yeah, I don't waste time on dudes who are "too busy" anymore. Why are you even online or a dating app if you know you don't have time to actually date? If you're working three jobs just to make ends meet then you should have self awareness and understand you shouldn't be out in the dating market wasting people's time. The first time a dude tells me he's too busy to simply respond to a text, I delete and move on.
     
  4. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    I'm too busy to talk to busy dudes. Although, I'm not took needy I require communication upfront with all in my face. I'll stop fooling with a guy if he's too busy. Men aren't complicated. They make time for what they want.
     
  5. ControlledXaos

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    You mad, huh?
     
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  6. ControlledXaos

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    I actually get tired of these guys who sits up there and talk about other guys to pander to females IE, Steve Harvey. It's true that people make time for what they want but that's really simplistic. Usually things are more complicated than that.

    I look at it like this if they are busy you can in turn be busy as well. However there should be some middle ground. Also people don't just suddenly become busy If you knew they had things going on at the jump you should plan and expect things accordingly.

    I'm the type who will forget to respond to a text but if you can't deal with a text coming in 5 hours later than oh well. If you text me when I'm driving I may not respond right then but I could accept a call, if one comes in.

    As a person who has hobbies and one who tends to enjoy quiet time, solitude, and planning in advance yes my hobbies may take up more time than you'd like especially if you are not interested in the same things as I am.

    One thing people forget is relationships and dating end up eating into that free time you have to do things other than work, church, working out, school, volunteering, etc. Once you're dating your start slacking off on the working out, the eating right, the book writing etc if you're not careful.

    It's really about finding the balance where you can invest time in your personal goals, hobbies, work, relationship, etc. All of the things that take up time in your day What takes priority when takes time to figure out.
     
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  7. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I agree with a lot that has already been stated, both in the video and in the comments.

    I just feel like a lot of people act like dating is no different than a hobby or playing a new video game: "I'll get around to it when I have time." Building a relationship with another human being takes time and work. So many people say, "You don't really know the person until after 6 or more months, sometimes longer." Yeah, of course it will take a long time to "know" a person if you spend more time/energy LOOKING for the date than you do actually DATING that person.

    I don't think that means spending every waking moment texting, talking and being with the other person...but if a man's desire is to do all of the things with his free time that he did when he was single, he should just stay single.

    As an entrepreneur and self employed freelancer, my livelihood depends on spending time in to get rewards out. I view dating as the same. If I want to build something with a guy so that he becomes my best friend, my closest confidant and my trusted monogamous sexual partner...At the least, that requires prioritizing him over my PS4 time.

    But what do I know, I'm currently single.
     
  8. Mrmack8913

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    Ummm I guess, if you want to put it that way sure. I'm livid lol.
     
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  9. ControlledXaos

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    I agree, if you're trying to forge a relationship and a combining of worlds it is going to take some compromise and investment of time that would have gone to gaming or underwater basket weaving. However as horrible as men generally are at communication in relationships (and I admit to being guilty of this at times myself) and expressing their feelings verbally, we need to sometimes accept the inconvenient truth that he's just not that into us. He's not going to tell us that and he'll string us along for a minute to see if the "better" options he's working on come to fruition or we'll be some ICE sex for them.
     
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  10. RolandG

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    I really believe most guys want companionship "sometimes" and not consistently. Very few actually want to date in the sense of spending quality consistent time with one person. As men, if we can get a consistent fuck buddy when we want it and somebody to text every few days, we seem to be fine with that. So it really isn't a matter of guys being too busy as much as guys simply are selfish with their time and don't want to be tied down or feel obligated to share their time and space with another dude simply because the other dude expects him to. I pay attention to how a "busy" guy reacts when I stop reaching out consistently.

    Most of the time, they pretend like it's me who is failing to keep contact when we both know that's not the case. In my opinion, they appear to want to be chased and pursued beyond reason without reciprocating. It's that old feeling of if you want me bad enough, you'll fight through my bullshit to show me how bad you want me. As I've said before, if OBJ or someone like him was reaching out to any of these niggas, I doubt it would take 2 days to get a response from a text or call. IJS
     
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  11. ControlledXaos

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    I don't want to be chased. I would like to see if the interest level is the same on both sides. I want to call and be called. Text and be texted. Suggest dates and be invited to a date. I am not gonna put up walls and be with the BS to see what someone will tolerate. That's what playing games is or is part of it It's wasting time time imo.

    I do think guys are happy with Situationships and limit "feelings. " it could work that way for a little while but eventually someones gonna get interested in someone else because that type of thing doesn't really involve investing time, effort or emotions.
     
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  12. Mrmack8913

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    I totally agree with all of this! The situationship is replacing traditional dating. It's just funny because u see and hear all the time guys claiming they want consistency. Well if everyone wants that then why are so few giving it? It's so ironic. And to your second point I've been saying for a while gay men love to be chased. They want to be wanted and desired while giving nothing in return. Personally I think its dumb af, if I feel u fuck with me I'll return that same energy, no need for circus tricks.
     
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  13. OckyDub

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    still valid points nonetheless

    :lawd:
     
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  14. Nigerian Prince

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    I agree with all that was said in the video because there are many people who make excuses. If you don't have the time or the desire to build with someone then spare the other person of their time and feelings.
     
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