Why I will end up with a 48-yr old dude

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by NikR, Feb 19, 2017.

  1. NikR

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    This has been an absolutely fascinating year. Well, 9 months anyways. I joined this site, started mingling in my city (and others), made friends, had WAY too much fun and progressed at work. Along the way I’ve realized something about dudes I’ve gotten to know, dated or had fun with.

    #1 The vast majority of 20-somethings have no idea what the fuck they’re doing in life. The uselessness is breathtaking. Yes, the good ones are actually trying and are actively becoming even better dudes. But there are only about 3 of them-all socially awkward. Except for me of course; I’m delightful.

    #2 30-somethings seem to have their heads stuck up their collective asses. Ok…maybe just their faces- which is why they’re always mumbling. Lemme tell you about a bunch of seemingly grounded dudes, who, at 4.5 years my senior (yes, oddly all the same age), either couldn’t make up their minds after months of talking/meeting/etc, thought chiding was an effective strategy of making me care, or wanted prolonged “butterflies”. Butterflies! Which is what a 12-year-old says. Head. Ass. Bye.

    #3 Which brings me to the 40-somethings. I suspect a dude between 10 and 20 years my senior would be perfect. Why? We’d probably be on the same page regarding relationship desires and goals. Life cycle stuff would align- he’d be established in his career and could actually support me in mine. And his mom would be almost 70. Little old ladies LOVE me- I cook, I clean, I have nice teeth, I speak in a low, melodious voice, I’m rather charming AND I make house calls.

    So I’m gonna start (almost) exclusively dating older dudes.

    This plan will go into effect sometime in July or August, once life settles down.

    As always, send those sexy daddies my way.

    Anyone in mind @King Zorro @jpo @Rico @African King ?
     
    #1 NikR, Feb 19, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2017
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  2. King Zorro

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    Well @NikR you know how I feel after I told you about my piercing story so we're in the same boat. We talk about this all the time.
     
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  3. Nick Delmacy

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    This is interesting and true in many ways. I think you'll be surprised to find many 40-year-old men who are full of shit too. I say that to say, its all subjective. There are tons of men in their late 20s and 30s who are dope, the problem is actually meeting at the right time. Like I'm considered a "good dude" but at sporadic moments in my life I purposely take myself off the market...or when I am down to meet dudes, I don't make a serious effort or I'm not in a position to meet other guys. Jack'd, Apps, Clubs, Parties, etc many "good guys" are not doing these things or if they are, they're not doing them at the same time as the other "good guys" so they can meet each other.

    Its a conundrum but I promise that I hear the same from a lot of straight ppl, they have a (somewhat) hard time meeting compatible ppl too.
     
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  4. ColumbusGuy

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    :foxxxy:




    Nick D is also right-there are plenty of messed up 40 somethings(and older!) You never know who the right one will be-keeping an open mind will give you a better chance of finding him-but you know this of course lol. How old are you anyway...I have forgotten. You don't seem as young as you are(or look)?
     
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  5. NikR

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    lol yo I am! I'm surprised how long it took for someone to finally call me out on how self-congratulatory this was. Thank you haha.

    And yeah, I get where @Nick Delmacy is coming from. So I'll keep an open mind.

    I'm still 28- gonna be stuck here for another 1/2 year.
     
  6. African King

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    I have been meeting more men. In their 20s up to their 40s like at a singles mixer (speed dating) event I attended last night. I am down to date men typically from age 25 and up. I am 27. The most I would do would be 35 ideally but if he is up to 45 y.o. and he is FINE and like-minded then we can talk.
     
  7. acessential

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    I'm a firm believer that if two folks are compatible and like each other, age shouldn't be an issue (As long as both are consenting adults).

    With that said, I don't think it's a good idea to simply give up on dudes closer to your age. Yes, there are a lot of 20-somethings who ain't about shit, but as mentioned earlier, there are a lot of 30-somethings and 40-somethings who ain't about shit neither. And if you discount younger dudes, you might miss out on something good. I always thought I was a well put together dude for my age. I'm 25, finishing up my Masters in May, got a job lined up following school. Then I met my current dude who is one year younger than me, a doctoral student, and a university lecturer. Some of his students are older than him.

    My point being, I think folks should keep an open mind. Know exactly what you want, but don't think that you have to set up an arbitrary age range.
     
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  8. MegamanX

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    Don't give up on the 20-somethings! Haha. Sometimes I find myself in the same headspace as you. I look at the dating scene and it does appear that most people our age are preoccupied with frivolity. But the optimist in me says that if I exist, then there are people like me looking for the same things in life that exist as well. I think it's all about time and place as Nick stated.
     
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  9. jpo

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    Okay, so you've had not great luck with your own age group - but I'm not sure that's a great reason to go looking either up or down the age ladder, although you make a pretty interesting case for looking at 40 somethings - having a 70 year old mother you can please - I mean, that could be the most interesting criterion for dating! But, since I was asked, if I come across anyone I will send him your way with a great recomendation.
     
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  10. BlackguyExecutive

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    Just to echo the things previously mentioned. I think relationships and age and finding mister right or mister right now is all relative. I know plenty of more mature gentlemen who are in that ain't shit category. On the flip side, I know several 20-somethings that are doing things I couldn't imagine doing when I was their age. I often think about my parents. By the time they were 21 and 22 years old they had two kids and military careers. When I was 21, I was busy trying to figure out which pizza spot I was going to hit up.

    With that being said, I think it is about finding someone that offers balance in life and love. Find someone with similar values and trajectories. Some of the biggest mistakes I made in dating were trying to conform to someone else's life or trying to make something happen that simply wasn't meant to be, despite love.

    In my marriage now, my husband is a few years older than me and was initially more established, he allowed me to play catch up, earn an advanced degree and now he travels like the king he is. But at the end of the day, we compliment each other.
     
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  11. African King

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    I love this! I hope to find something similar
     
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  12. DC.

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    I think it definitely is all relative as well. However I will admit, I never date younger. At the same time I'm always leery about dating guys who are past the age of 33. However I can see myself getting married three years from now truth be told, and I'm turning 24 this year, so basically in my mind im already 25. lol. But i do agree with @NikR 's initial post because most of these millennial s arent about it. I really have yet to meet one on my level. Besides the ones who are my closest friends who are all married mind you. Because with these millennials they're always "going with the flow" or on some wishy washy sh** which I dont have time for. I work 40 hours a week and work full time so I'm going to need you to be about your business and not waste my time, since I have such little of it. lol

    But I'm always open to dating older on the scale. Because truth be told most millennials won't be where I'm at mentally. And at the same time, I can't force them to be there, I really can't because people evolve differently in life, and for some it's just not their time yet. However I will also acknowledge that any age group can be just as full of crap as the next one. lol.

    But all I truly desire is someone who is humble, relatable, handsome), family oriented and god fearing like me and we'll get along just fine lol.
     
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  13. Rico

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    1) The vast majority of 20-somethings have never known what the fuck they're doing (words of a recovered former 20-something), nothing especially especially wrong with millenials compared to others. Plenty of examples of stupidity from my generation to check out (see also Len Bias)

    2) Only if they're lawyers :)

    3) You just have to say this is what I am, what I like, what I do. Anyone who fits the profile will do. Age is nothing but a number to a degree. I know a straight couple with a 16-year difference, but they are exactly matched for each other. I wouldn't exclude anyone due to age, but I would caution that rule applies to the 20- and 30-somethings as well as older dudes.
     
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  14. ColumbusGuy

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    Why...why did you have to mention Len Bias? First thing I thought was that awful joke:

    Why is Len Bias like a flower?
    Cause when you pick him, he dies.

    smh.

    Also smh cause DC's sig makes me think of Chrissy Hynde instead of Oscar Wilde lol.

    'We are all of us in the gutter...
    But some of us are looking at the stars'

    *Also everyone is so damn hung up on looks and money...some things never change.
     
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  15. Sean P

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    Don't pay any attention to vitriol spewed against lawyers, especially those of a certain age. You'd be passing up some quality individuals...
     
  16. Rico

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    Hmmm, didn't recall that tasteless joke but I remember quite a few others for other events.
    Ahhh, Chrissie, our Akron homegirl. First four albums were keepers...
    No offense if that's your chosen profession. That's an understood joke between @NikR and me...
     
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  17. NikR

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    tumblr_mjiio6yqx01rcewb6o6_250.gif
     
  18. OhSheit

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    Well, I gravitate towards people that are older than me in general so it's no surprise that I usually date 30+. I probably have no business dealing with older men (and vice versa) but I still find myself saying "niggas ain't shit" either way. I'm sure if you're going to make it your goal to date older men you'll still find yourself running into young minds.

    Just don't give up like others have stated, but if you really want to go ahead and try it out 'cause you never know.
     
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  19. OhSheit

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    See, we have a match.

    Get your Moonlight on and drive down to see NikR and date. We not one of a kind out here!
     
  20. Rico

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    For us "seasoned" types in these parts, the thread will be appropriately retitled, "Why I Will Probably End Up With an 84-year-old Dude"
    :kermit:

    Unless you're in junior high and Milo Yiannapoulos is friend-requesting you on Facebook, I think you're safe gravitating toward older guys. It's not just 20 and 30 somethings with 40 and 50 somethings, though; sometimes it's old and older (is that a Jim Carrey movie?). I'm thinking of paranormal skeptic and magician, the Amazing Randi, who married his partner in 2013. Randi was about 83, his partner about 50.
     
  21. ColumbusGuy

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    OMG is Randi still alive? why are you mentioning these people that nobody else would ever mention? It is unsettling lol.

    As you get older beware of these old men and old women out there though. They go after my
    married dad who is 89! Age breeds desperation (unless you are just DONE and celibate like me though-in a month it will be six years!)

    *Milo is also DONE-once you have the pedo label, it will never come off, sticks like dried eggs on a carpet.
     
  22. Rico

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    Yes he is very much alive, almost 90. So to me, he' always been an old guy with a beard lol. To anyone inclined to @Ockydub or my take on organized crime, er, religion, I highly recommend checking out the works of the Amazing Randi, America's No. 1 bullshit detector for forty years straight. Loved how he and Johnny Carson embarrassed the fuck out of "psychic" Uri Geller on national TV when I was a kid. We should be doing shit like this to Trump and every phony preacher, on national TV every day



    So, dating an older gay guy, regardless of your age, could be loads of laughs...
     
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  23. Nicholan

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    Yeah honestly, like someone else said, guys in their 40's are full of shit too. On top of that, they may be more stuck in their ways. Everything depends on the individual though.
     
  24. BlackOnyx1

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    When it comes to dating i feel the same way about guys my age i'm 22 now i feel a lot of 20 somethings don't know what they wanna do in life and i am very mature for my age so if you waste my time, i move onto the next like come correct if you trying to date or want a relationship cause i'm not gonna waste my time. I have thought about dating older but i guess i'm holding off on it for now
     
  25. DMA

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    Well I guess I have it made! I am 56 and my partner of ten years is 46... For the past tens years we have been and are doing great with a little ups and downs, but we work it out and move forward. We still have surprise date night, movie night, and so on! If I had to do this dating stuff all over again, I would jump back in my mother's womb and sew that hole back up... Cannot and will not do it again, this why I have learned to work things out and be open with all forms of communications and genuine love and understanding. This did not come easy; there was a great deal of accepting, listening and simple understanding! “Can we talk?” This is my favorite line? This really works. Well I will continue to live and learn with my partner for the rest of our lives!
     
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  26. DMA

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    Well I guess I have it made! I am 56 and my partner of ten years is 46... For the past tens years we have been and are doing great with a little ups and downs, but we work it out and move forward. We still have surprise date night, movie night, and so on! If I had to do this dating stuff all over again, I would jump back in my mother's womb and sew that hole back up... Cannot and will not do it again, this why I have learned to work things out and be open with all forms of communications and genuine love and understanding. This did not come easy; there was a great deal of accepting, listening and simple understanding! “Can we talk?” This is my favorite line? This really works. Well I will continue to live and learn with my partner for the rest of our lives!
     
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  27. Dean

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    I think it has nothing to do with age but more about the mental development of the individual. Someone who knows the importance of communication and compromise. And also a someone who can put their ego to the side. Basically a whole person who doesn't require pieces of you to complete themselves.
     
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