ESSAY – I Will Not Apologize and I Will Not Be Silent!   

As Discreet City reaches the one year mark and grows in popularity, the feedback and personal emails that we receive also continues to grow.
 
The majority of these messages are from readers who really enjoy or website regardless if they agree with the views expressed.  These messages are encouraging, engaging, thankful, critical and congratulatory in nature.
 
We also received messages that have a more negative or angry tone.  They have less constructive criticism and are heavy on the attitude.  Many are thick with adjectives and psychological analysis that is tailor made, even though the writers of said messages have never seen or met me before in life.
 
Homophobe, down low, femophobe, superiority complex, fem bashing, fem obsessed, ashamed of my sexuality, non-inclusive to gays, are just a few of the words and phrases that fill some of these messages directed towards myself; however nothing could be further from the truth.

While in corporate America I’ve learn that the intent behind your words sent out via email can be perceived very differently by the recipients who view them.  The same goes for text messages and obviously the words that I have typed in my posts.  I feel that this may be the case with some of the angry feedback and emails I receive, but I don’t think it applies to all of them.

As a result my critical thinking and analysis developed from the “outside”…not part of a collective.
 

Years ago after I was introduced to the gay lifestyle, those feelings of being on the outside unexpectedly resurfaced. My ignorance and naivete made me think that I would be a part of some wonderful homosexual band of brothers.  My innocence was soon lost.  Everyone around me was focused on superficial bullshit; materialism, drugs, alcohol, reckless promiscuity, having men sponsor and support them, fiscal irresponsibility, going to the club every other day, no man being off limits (gay, straight, in a relationship or not) for sexual escapades. Even though I was partaking in some of the activities, I still felt as though I was not a part of this lifestyle.
 
I remember going out alone one night to the club and feeling grief and sadness as I stood and watched all the young men.  No hints of masculinity in sight.  Young men with loose lips fluently calling each other bitches and girls.  What was wrong with masculinity, I thought?  I felt like masculinity had been rejected as a sense of one’s self identification but yet my masculine self was sought after for the entire time that I was in the club as if I was a commodity or object.
 
After a couple of years I realized this “lifestyle” was not for me and I withdrew from it, never to look back.

I Reject The Voice of the Gay Mainstream!

“Republican homosexuals are treated as villains. Libertarians are scoffed at. Constitutionalists are trivialized. Anyone who doesn’t agree with a feminist perspective is ridiculed. Masculine-identified men are labeled as internally homophobic. But it is worse than that. The current gay “culture” fosters young adults into a world of designer drugs, materialism, body dysmorphia – bigorexia and anorexia, classism and a plethora of other social maladies.” Jack Malebranche
 
I see it every day.  Anytime there is a dissenting point of view from the gay mainstream on any issue.  The unity preaching, diversity loving, all inclusive gays go on the attack while hurling insults.  Just look at some of the feedback in our previous posts.  They always scream diversity as long as it fits neatly into their gay bubble.
 
There are plenty of young homosexual men out there who may not have developed a sense of self as of yet.  They are lost looking for mentors, friends or anything to latch onto for a sense of belonging.  There are a significant number of young homosexual men out there who are naturally effeminate…no big deal.  But what about the ones who may not be but are shaped by what is thrown at them daily?  The unbalanced images of effeminate gay men in media can and does affect a subconscious young homosexual mind.
 
If images of effeminate men are all the examples that are displayed, it can lead them to question “Is this who I am and is this how I am supposed to be?  Is this what being gay is all about?”
 
I have seen (as I am sure many of us have) young homosexual men who get into the “gay” life and become a part of a clique.  Over time they pick up the clique’s tics and mannerisms.  Who is to say that these men that joined the group were just repressing their femininity before and now as a part of the group, they are more comfortable being themselves?  But what about the young man that was not repressing his effeminate self before but is now slowing became effeminate because he thinks this is how “gays” are supposed to act?
 
The gay mainstream preaches acceptance and tolerance for all; however when concerns are raised for the lack of masculinity or masculine representation, the gay alarm sounds and the accusations of “internalized homophobia” defense flag is raised.

Gays Need to Stick Together!

Funny how when inspirational, positive, informative all inclusive posts concerning homosexuality or the gay lifestyle are published on Discreet City; barely any comments are left. The naysayers that call us homophobes and fem bashers are eerily silent.  Why is that?
 
As I stated above, masculine homosexual point of views are missing from many gay websites out there as if we are not worthy enough to be included, why?
 
Either way, I understand that these websites don’t cater to and therefore are not for me.  I don’t go to those sites and attack them.  But for some strange reason many feel that Discreet City should be all inclusive to all gays?  They also think being pro-masculine somehow equals being anti-feminine, which is not the case.  If you think or feel this way, that is your baggage and your dilemma.  This is your perception, not my reality.
 
Christians, Jews, Muslims all have their own websites and functions.  That doesn’t mean they are anti the other religions.  Should a Muslim go over to ChristianSingles.com and bash their website and tell them they need to be inclusive of all religious singles and include Muslims?  Give me a break.
 
I have been to other website threads and witnessed effeminate gays bickering and viciously attacking each other on a multitude of issues concerning pop culture and gossip.  Everyone was picking sides and no one was saying “oh wait, but we we need to stick together”.
 
Heterosexuals don’t agree on every issue but somehow the ideal is that gay people are not regular people, we are special people and so we should be able to form a unified front and not have any dissenting thoughts from one another.  As if we are one collective like the Borg on Star Trek.  What’s interesting is that many other blogs attack us for not being all inclusive but yet they don’t have the same criticism for the gossip and diva worshiping coven of black gay websites patrons who constantly bicker over foolishness.
 
People are all individuals; not some collective, faceless, think less thing that forms into a unified blob of cells.  Other’s opinions, thoughts or ideals are not the problem.  The problem is being closed off and not open minded to the other opinions, thoughts and ideals.

I Love My Masculinity. Get Over It!