I think I lost another gay friend this year, I’m def partially to blame but not 100%…We could def still be cool, but he’s in a different lane now.
It just occurred to me that Ocky Williams is not only one of the gay friends that I’ve known the longest (nearly 9+ years), but we’re also still pretty tight…and never hooked up or messed around with each other like many Gay “friends” do.
I stumbled across this clip from a Tyler Perry Madea play that def struck a nerve.
Madea Be Dropping Gems On ‘Em Though…
Gay friends (and friends in general) are hard to come by, especially ones that don’t secretly want to date or hookup with you.
I had a really good friend around the time we started Discreet City…he was Bisexual and one of the few ppl that I originally approached to help create it. That was my boy, never hooked up, we used to spend hours on the phone like two chicks, we would share sexcapade stories, dating advice, discuss movies, sports, etc…help each other out with favors and all that (ie Dentist trips, furniture moving, etc). Brother type shit.
But he was like Madea described in the video, I eventually realized he didn’t wanna be seen with me in public because he was Frat and super closeted.
He was cool with going to dark movie theaters (sitting 2 seats away), but never a club or bar….unless it was with his Frat brothers, not me. At first I didn’t mind because we weren’t dating, not a big deal, we still spent a lot of discreet homeboy time together…
But then I started to hear more and more stories about all of the nights out with his non-gay friends, yet when I asked to hang out maybe once every 6 months it was like pulling teeth. Yet he was going out with his Frat buddies all the time and then telling me about how homophobic they were to gay waiters and bartenders. He would vent to me about his homophobic Frat Bros for hours…
Then it hit me:
Eventually I told him I wasn’t interested in being his secret gay best friend, hell I was discreetly homosexual just like him…But it was as if he was ashamed of me, that was a different story. One that I didn’t want to be a character in.
I guess even though I was masculine and discreet like him, I was more “known” by gay men in the city given that I had been to gay parties and gay clubs. So maybe that spooked him, being “guilty by association” which could get back to his Frat brothers (many of whom were probably gay or bisexual as well).
After that conversation, that was the last time I heard from him, proving that we probably were never really friends in the first place.
How many of you have REAL gay friends? And I don’t mean just hangout buddies or numbers you’ve collected in your phone and Facebook list…